Politeness in Other Cultures

Cultural Misunderstanding

Which way of greeting are you more comfortable with?

Cultural misunderstanding

Cultures differ in what they think politeness is

People think that politeness equals good manners and good character

People assume that other cultures are polite in the same way

Which is the more serious mistake?

A: Would you like to come over for dinner on Friday?

B: Sorry I working that night.

A: Would you like to come over for dinner on Friday?

B: I can’t.

Appropriate speech behaviorNative speakers are more

forgiving of grammatical mistakes than inappropriate speech

For native speakers, appropriate speech behavior – being polite – is unconscious

Language learners do not have unconscious knowledge of what is appropriate speech behavior

Types of misunderstandingDirect translationDifferences in appropriateness

Different cultures have different ways of expressing politeness and interacting

Direct TranslationLanguage learner translates

what they want to say from their first language

Creates a misunderstanding because the rules for politeness are different

Are these the same?Can you play the piano?Can you run fast?Can you speak French?Can you pass the salt?

“Can you pass the salt?”This is a request in English. It is not asking

about the other person’s ability to pass the salt

However, if directly translated into Russian, it is a question for information

Thus, the English-speaking learner of Russian would fail to communicate his or her meaning

Telephone conversationP: Hello, is Mr. Simatapung there

please?S: Yes.P: Oh…may I speak to him please?S: Yes.P: Oh…are you Mr. Simatapung?S: Yes, this is Mr. Simatapung.

Telephone conversationThe foreign student fails to

understand that the professor’s first questionIs not asking if he is there or notIs a request to talk to him

Differences in AppropriatenessThis type of misunderstanding is

directly related to cultural differences

What is appropriate in one culture is not always appropriate in another culture

American invitationsAmericans often end invitations with a

phrase like “Come if you want to.”Americans do not want to force people to

accept unwanted invitations

Japanese reactionsJapanese expect that the person who

invites another will urge the potential guest to accept the invitation

When Japanese hear expressions like “Come if you want to,” they feel hurt and are uncertain about the sincerity of the invitation

Other cultures, e.g., Arabs, also have the same difficulty with American invitations

What’s the difference?It was nice talking to you. I’ve got to go,

but let’s get together Friday night.It was nice talking to you. I’ve got to go,

but let’s get together sometime.

American offersIf you go to an American’s home,

you will probably be offered something to eat or drinkIf you refuse the first time, you will probably be offered again.

You will probably not be offered more than three times.

American offersGuests who refuse may or may not

be seen as rudeGuests will be taken at their word.

If they refuse a third time, the host will assume that they have refused because they do not want something to eat or drink

Reactions by people from other culturesArabs are taught to refuse again and

again. When they visit American homes, they often leave confused and hungryAn Arab visited an American home and was served some delicious sandwiches. The hostess offered him seconds, but he refused. The hostess didn’t repeat the offer and so he had to sit there looking at the delicious sandwiches.

Reactions by people from other culturesMalaysians feel that offers of food

or drink are inappropriate. A host should serve something

whether the guest wants it or not.

Offers in other culturesIn the Ukraine the host will offer

food or drink to the guest seven or eight times.

For Americans who really don’t want anything, they are in a difficult situation because they will run out of ways to refuse before the Ukraine host runs out of ways to offer.

Both guest and host will feel upset.

TopicsIn the Ukraine, income, politics,

religion, marital status are all acceptable topics in talking to strangers

In the US and Britain, they are not acceptable at all and would be regarded as taboo

Cultural valuesIndividualismPriority to individuals

High power distance

Hierarchical

Quantity of lifeValue competition

High uncertaintyAvoid uncertainty

Long termFocus on future

CollectivismPriority to group

Low power distanceEqual treatment

Quality of lifeValue on relationships

Low uncertaintyComfortable with

uncertainty

Short termFocus on present

Japan and the USIndividualism

US JapanCollectivis

m

High Power

Japan USLow

Power

Quantity of Life

Japan & USQuality of

life

High uncertainty

Japan USLow

uncertainty

Long term Japan USShort term

Cross-cultural differencesEach culture will have values that are more important than othersIn one culture hierarchy may be more

importantIn another individualism may be more

importantIn yet another avoiding uncertainty

may be more important

StatusStatus in Japan depends to a large

degree on the prestige of the organization one belongs to

Independent businessmen may have less prestige than a manager in a large well-known company

Wrong impressionsAn American businessman created a bad

impression because at a business meeting he paid more attention to a man who started and developed his own company than to the middle level executives of a big Japanese corporation

American & Japanese businessmenJapan value hierarchy

Hierarchy is very strong in businessAmerican have a sense of hierarchy, but it is not as strong

Americans value individualism Americans respect people who have made it on their own, e.g., Bill Gates & Steve Jobs

Japanese respect individuality, e.g., Morita Akio & Matsushita Konosuke

Eliminating misunderstandingsValues that are important will often be

reflected in speech in speech behaviorMisunderstandings can work both waysHave to have open mind

When learners of a language make inappropriate questions, do not apologize when they should, give compliments to the wrong person, offer something too frequently, etc. they are not necessarily being impolite.

Have an open mindWhen learners of a language

Make inappropriate questions Do not apologize when they should Give compliments to the wrong person Offer something too frequently

They are not necessarily being impolite. They using their own culture’s values for being polite.