Cultivating a Garden of Writers Through Revision

and ReflectionBy Cindy Yarbrough

“A piece of writing is like a rosebush—it grows healthier after you prune the unnecessary parts.”~Ralph Fletcher What a Writer Needs

Self Reflection is the plant food from which your children will flourish

“Exploring students’ own experiences and sometimes very negative feelings about revision will help open up the possibilities for revision. You might want to initiate a discussion by asking students to write about their feelings about and experiences of revision and/or by giving them a revision survey as motivation.”

~Georgia Heard The Revision Toolbox: Teaching Techniques That Work

Interviews with Children

Georgia Heard’s Thoughts on Revision

“Revision involves changing the meaning, content, structure, or style of a piece of writing rather than the more surface changes that editing demands. Students also need to understand that revision doesn’t necessarily take place after they’ve finished a piece of writing, but instead revision will most likely occur throughout the writing process.”

The Revision Toolbox: Teaching Techniques That Work

Goals for Revision

• To change concept of revision from punishment to a natural and integral part of the writing process (Georgia Heard)

• To change students’ concept of revision from editing skills, practiced at the end of writing, to a process that occurs throughout all the writing stages (Georgia Heard)

• To create students who are able to begin the revision process on their own, when no one is looking! (Cindy Yarbrough)

Strategies for Students

• Change the point of view of a piece

• Go to the spot in the story where the main action is happening. Write “what if” in the margin. How would the story change if this main action changes?

• Change the beginning

Strategies for Students

• Have a “Yard Sale” for words• Specificity mini-lessons (Verbs are the Engines

of Sentences and Nouns are the Wheels)• Playing with time (flashback, slow down action,

speed up action)• Collect “Word Treasures”• Crack open words

Example of Changing the Beginning

• Jake’s 1st Draft “About two years ago we bought a house in Northstar at tahoe. We go up there every chance we get. It’s a big house. It’s got a loft on top in case you don’t know what a loft is its something I can’t explain.” (Example taken from “Revising Revision” by Jan Matsuoka)

After a mini lesson on leads

• Jake’s 2nd Draft “Two years ago my mom brought up about getting another house. “But where?” we all said. Then my dad said, “I know a place. Where? we all exclaimed. At Lake Tahoe. It’s a beautiful place. OOOOHHH, yaaaah we said. And we jumped around, hugging each other. So we went and looked at lots of houses.”(Example taken from “Revising Revision” by Jan Matsuoka)

Jake’s Thoughts on Revision(Yes!!! Self Reflection!)

“After your mini-lesson, I tried the second beginning. I like the second one because it’s more interesting. It shows our excitement about getting a house at Tahoe. And we were really excited, you know. Hey yeah, it has more showing than the first one. The first one is just a boring, like booo-ring. I don’t know if anyone would read my story if they read the first one.”

Let’s Have a Yard Sale!

Here is an example taken from Charlotte’s Web with extra words added to show how cluttered it could be. Ask your students to read the opening of Charlotte’s Web and practice cutting out the extra words, phrases, and sentences.

Fern had been thinking all morning about where her papa was going with the ax that he had in his hand so she decided to ask her mother. “Where’s Papa going with that ax?” said Fern to her mother as they were setting the table with all the plates, knives, forks, and napkins for breakfast.

Her mother looked at Fern. “Out to the hoghouse,” replied Mrs. Arable. She then explained further, “Some pigs were born last night.”

Fern looked at her mother. “I don’t see why he needs an ax,” continued Fern, who was a girl of about average size; her hair was brown and she wore it in pigtails most of the time (except for when she went to Sunday school she brushed it out), and she was only eight years old at the time of this conversation.

The Original

“Where’s Papa going with that ax?” said Fern to her mother as they were setting the table for breakfast.

“Out to the hoghouse,” replied Mrs. Arable. “Some pigs were born last night.”

“I don’t see why he needs an ax,” continued Fern, who was only eight.

Now, You Try It

Take a piece of your writing and see if you can have a yard sale for extra words. Don’t just limit yourself to words, though. Try to cut out phrases and maybe even sentences. Let’s de-clutter!

Other Strategies from Georgia Heard

• Several strategies are listed on your hand out.

• Present each as a mini-lesson and then add to class chart of revision strategies.

Promoting Self Reflection

Before searching out feedback from others, whether it be teachers or peers, students need to be able to self reflect on their own writing so they are better able to communicate to others where they may need guidance. One way to do this is to use a “Process/Progress Revision Sheet”.

A Fun Take on Revision

Questions

• Which strategy seems most challenging to you as a teacher? As a writer?

• Which strategy do you see yourself implementing next year?

Works Cited

• The Revision Toolbox: Teaching Techniques That Work, Georgia Heard, Heinemann, 2002.

• What a Writer Needs, Ralph Fletcher, Heinemann, 1993.

• “Revising Revision”, The Quarterly, Jan Matsuoka.