Cracked Sketch Contest

8/8/2019 Cracked Sketch Contest

http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/cracked-sketch-contest 1/7

Cracked Sketch Contest!

A typical meeting.*

*If your typical meeting includes death, monkeys, and hookers money graphs

By Nick DePalma and Brad Shoemaker



Characters:

Dan O’Brien as himself giving the presentation

Soren Bowie as himself sitting at boardroom table as head of meeting

Michael Swaim as himself as person who DOB tried to kill

Some black cop, a receptionist, and two other people sitting at the table

Start off in the board room with Bowie and two other people sitting down, sipping coffee. They

are engaged in some light business talk.

Bowie: It appears that our vendible has done inexplicably sufficient in betamaxing our

oppugner’s commodities.

Person1 stares blankly at Bowie while sipping coffee. Puts down coffee.

Person1: What?

Bowie looks at Person1 and says ‘We do good now’ and uses overly exaggerated motions for

each word. We=points to self; do=fist pounding palm; good=two thumbs-up shaking;

now=waving a big ‘O’ with arms.

Person2: (enthusiastically) Where’s O’Brien at?

Dan O’Brien briskly storms in and quickly turns around to shut the door behind him. He turns

back to the table to face everyone. His white buttoned shirt is dirty and blood-stained and he

appears to be extremely nervous and flustered. He is holding a bloody butcher knife in his left

hand. Stumbles through greeting.

DOB: (stuttering) Sorry guys, I had to put this together at the last minute. I was sort of in a rush.

If anyone asks, I was here the whole time, (shouts and points knife at Person2 to emphasize each

word) THE WHOLE… TIME!!!!!!!



DOB notices his knife and puts it in his pants pocket.

Bowie: (calmly) No, no, no that’s fine, let’s fire that thing up, O’Brien.

DOB hastily puts the slideshow on the projector and starts it up. SHOW SLIDE 1

Everyone claps lightly. Person1 turns to Person2.

Bowie: I’m liking this already; it’s got a good message.

DOB: (nervously) Here’s our projected earnings for the 2011 fiscal year.

SHOW SLIDE 2

DOB: OH MY GOD!

DOB quickly switches to the next slide. SHOW SLIDE 3.

Bowie: mmm good. It showed interesting-ocity.

Persons 1&2 look at each other and mumble agreement. All three of them agree, get really

excited and give DOB a standing ovation. DOB is extremely worried.

DOB: (nervous) c’mon guys, keep it down! Shush!

Hears police sirens outside.

DOB: HOLY FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!

Bowie: Intensity! This is the best presentation I’ve seen all year!

DOB: WHO THE FUCK CALLED THE COPS!!!!!!!???????????

Bowie: (calmly, jokingly) Hey, O’Brien, I sense a little anger there, you’re acting like you killed

somebody.

Bowie and DOB stare blankly at each other for about ten seconds, neither one moving. Cut to

Bowie.

Bowie: ( jovially) Ha, I’m just kidding there.



Cut to DOB who has his knife out. He slowly lowers it and puts it away. Walks over to the

window and sees a cop outside on the sidewalk talking to the building’s receptionist.

DOB: What are they doing here??!?!

Person1: (nonchalantly) Oh, I hear they’re investigating some murder… some… double

homicide or something.

DOB: (mumbles softly towards camera) Triple homicide………

DOB hears people walking up the stairs towards the boardroom. He grabs a chair.

DOB: Let me just take care of this right here.

He firmly wedges the chair under the door handle and turns back to the group. SHOW SLIDE 4

DOB: As you can see, as we make more money, we get more money.

Pounding on door. Cop yelling from other side.

Cop: WE GOT YOU NOW, O’BRIEN, THERE’S NO WHERE TO RUN!

Cop breaks down door and barges in, DOB reaches to his waist and pulls out a gun and empties

the entire clip into the cop. Cop falls down and DOB slowly turns to the group and throws his

gun to the floor. Person2 slams fist on table.

Person2: HOLD ON A SECOND! (Pauses) So, when we MAKE money, we GET money?!

Brilliant!

The others join in clapping.

The office phone on the table beeps with a call from the receptionist.

Receptionist: Mr. Bowie, we got a call coming in for Mr. O’Brien.

Bowie: Put it on speaker, I’m feelin’ good today!

Person1 pushes speaker button.

Swaim: (deep, guttural voice) You thought you could kill me, O’Brien?



DOB freaks out and pounds the table. Shouts at the phone.

DOB: WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!?!?!?!?

Swaim: (deep, guttural voice) Look to your right…

DOB turns to his right and sees a bloody Michael Swaim standing five feet next to him holding a

cell phone up to his ear. DOB screams and tries to reach for his knife, Swaim tackles him out the

window and they both fall to their death. After a couple seconds, Bowie turns to Person1.

Bowie: huh… Tom, would you mind taking over?

Person1: Sure.

He pushes slide button. SHOW SLIDE 5. Person2 is drinking coffee and profusely chokes on

his coffee after the .gif is finished. Cut abruptly to an ambulance driving with sirens wailing

CREDITS!!!!



Slide2

Slide1



Slide 5 is a gif of a monkey smelling his finger after he rubbed his butt.

Slide4

Slide3

Cracked Sketch Contest

Documents

Transcript of Cracked Sketch Contest