Coursework Development.

Sarah Byard.

Draft One.• The idea for our first draft was to have a girl killing

another girl via Satanic ritual. However, when we filmed this and edited it all together, we discovered that we did not have enough footage to fill 2-3 minutes, which was the required time. We did show it to people, though, so we could get their feedback on it and see whether we should continue on this path. People generally liked it, especially the rapid cutting between death and ritual; however, they thought that the chanting should’ve been a bit creepier and that there should’ve been some sound in the death scene.

Draft Two.• From the feedback from our first draft, we decided to add

music to the first half. We also decided to film another scene so that we filled the allotted time. This scene was a discussion between the murderer and another friend, set in a bedroom. We decided on this to establish character and to add to our narrative. However, this was not received well, as it was not clear to the audience what was going on and the conversation seemed forced.

• We also added music to the first half, with the death scene, to create tension and atmosphere, and it was generally received well. We decided to add music and not death sound effects as we felt it would be more dramatic and it could be carried through the entire scene.

Draft Three.• For our third draft, we added a 30-second establishing shot of a house

with credits to establish setting and allow the credits to roll. The credits were put in a ‘creepy’ font and in white so that they stood out. We decided not to change the conversation scene just yet, because we wanted to see how long we would need because of the establishing shot of the house. After we had an estimate of how long the piece was with the beginning half and credits, we could then determine how much time we had to play with for the second half. We also had to change the music for this draft, as the first version was not long enough, so we had to add more to it to fit the intro scene as well.

• When we showed this draft to people, they thought that the establishing shot of the door was effective as a scene-setter, and thought that it added an atmosphere to the piece. They thought we still needed to get rid of the conversation, or at least change it, which we did intend to do in the next draft, as mentioned above.

• It was also suggested that we make the credits appear in time to the individual notes in the music.

Draft Four (Final Draft)• We took all the advice on board in one go this time. We filmed a

shorter discussion to replace the one in the bedroom, and after that added a dream sequence, and we also made the titles fit in time with the opening music. We also did other things, such as darken the ‘Waxy Studios’ title credit, as it seemed out of place being bright with all the other dark shots and re-recorded the voiceover, something which was suggested to us at the very beginning. This time, we used two voices to make it a) seem creepier and b) establish that Hannah is in Jess’s mind and controlling her.

• When we showed this to an audience, they generally liked it. They thought that the death/ritual scene was in the conventions of horror, and they liked the rapid cutting because it created tension. Another point that was picked up on more than once was that the shot of the well in the dream sequence was a good shot because it established that Hannah wasn’t real; they also thought the scream at the end fit in with the conventions of horror because it made them jump.

ETC.• We did film a lot of alternate scenes for the

second half, although none of them were actually used. They were all variations on the same: a conversation between Jess and somebody else. We did show these to people, but they didn’t really like them, so we didn’t include any of them in any of the drafts.