Counseling Reflection Paper

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Running head: COUNSELING REFLECTION

Counseling Reflection Paper

Clinical Mental Health Counseling

Jay Hayden

COUNSELING REFLECTION 2

Counseling Reflection

Before this experience, the longest counseling session I had taped was only 10 minutes

long. Therefore, after discovering that we would be taping a 30 minute session, I became

extremely anxious. A torrent of worries swept through my mind, “What if I say something

wrong? What if the client says nothing? What if the tape doesn’t work? And what can we talk

about for 30 minutes?” But, as those worries sprang to life, I remembered some wise advice that

helped alleviate my anxiety.

Within the assigned readings for my techniques class, I have learned that in order to

succeed you have to fail. As blunt as that sounds, it is an accurate statement in regards to

budding counselors. I will not instantly become a great counselor and I will inevitably fail and

make many mistakes during my training. But, these mistakes will help pave my way towards

becoming a successful counselor. Prior to beginning my 30 minute counseling session, I

repeated this phrase over and over again while practicing some deep breathing to calm myself

down. This mind set and relaxation process helped me appear calm and collected, even though

on the inside I was a nervous mess.

After pulling myself together, I began the counseling session by asking my client what

she would like to discuss. She had concerns regarding her current finances and her future

financial stability. Furthermore, she believed that her counseling profession was grossly

underappreciated and did not receive adequate compensation. I practiced the “L.U.V” technique

of listening, understanding, and validating so she would realize she was truly being heard.

Additionally, I maintained an attentive posture by leaning slightly forward in my seat and used a

slow, softly toned voice to encourage her to tell me more.

I think my voice is one of my greatest strengths as a counselor. I always try to speak in a

slow, clear, soft, and tentative manner so that the client does not feel intimidated or pressured by


my comments. Similarly, this gentle demeanor helps my clients feel as if they are in safe

environment in which they can freely speak their mind. Dr. McKee also commented on my

voice and said that it will be helpful to me later on and will allow me to perturb the client while

still maintaining a non-threatening position.

In addition to using the L.U.V technique, having an attentive body language, and a soft

voice, I believe I also did well with my use of paralinguistic utterances. To encourage my client

to continue telling her story, I made a subtle “mmmmmm” noise when she finished a thought or

during an important segment in her narrative. Furthermore, I occasionally used paralinguistic

utterances as a response and “skipped a turn” instead of providing a direct feedback. This

practice of “skipping turns” has been hard for me to employee but I’m starting to understand its

importance and how to use it.

Specifically, social conversation dictates a 50/50 relationship in which one person speaks

and one person listens with the roles continuously switching. However, in counseling, this social

norm is severely skewed in that the counselor listens more and speaks significantly less. Hence

the expression of “skipping turns,” because the counselor is skipping his or her turn in which

they were supposed to speak. Instead of speaking, the counselor inserts a paralinguistic utterance

or some anticipatory body language to encourage the client to keep speaking.

Aside for “skipping turns”, it is imperative for a counselor to know how to appropriately

ask questions to his or her client. I also thought I also did well in this area, and asked open

questions that would probe her to more thoughtfully reflect upon her situation. For example, my

client spoke about the importance of getting validation for her profession. Thus, I asked what it

would mean to her if her area of study had that validation. This question lead to her


experiencing her emotion behind this issue and realizing how validation would provide her with

the respect she deserved and alleviate the stigmatization she faced.

Furthermore, I thought I did well in terms of keeping my client in her optimum zone of

emotion versus cognition. In particular, I wanted her to not just cognitively talk about her

situation, I wanted her to explore her emotions and she how this situation related to her.

Subsequently, I made comments that encouraged her to reflect on how this situation affects her

personally. For instance, my client had been very cognitive while discussing the mental health

profession and how it did not receive appropriate reward or credibility. I commented about how

she too was a part of this larger profession and what that meant for her in regard to credibility.

Through my feedback, I was trying to help her draw her own connection to possibly feeling

discredited in relation to this larger organization.

Thankfully, my comment appeared to help her explore her feelings connected to her

profession. Specifically, she remarked that she felt as if she lost credibility in the eyes of her

friends and family for choosing a “simple minded” profession. I followed her comment with the

L.U.V technique to help her reflect upon her emotion and sit with her anger surrounding this new

realization. This moment of clarity the client reached could not have been attained had I not

used an open ended question paired with empathetic listening.

While I am pleased with my overall counseling session, there are areas in which I know I

could have done better and need to work on. One area of my counseling that needs drastic

improvement is my use and understanding of metaphors. Within this counseling session, I feel

as if I may have dipped too far into the metaphor world and would love to be able to take back

my metaphor about her trying to catch up with her friends. You could clearly see that she did not

agree with the metaphor. But, at least when a metaphor blows up in your face, the client usually


helps you realize what was wrong with it and clarifies their situation. Thankfully, my client did

exactly that and helped clarify what was inaccurate about the metaphor. She went on to explain

that she didn’t feel as if she was competing with her friends and was not trying to compare

herself to them. Instead, she just was really upset by how people continue to belittle and insult

her profession.

Also, I believe I shirked some basic stage one counseling skills by not asking her to

define key words she repeated. For example, words like “rewarded, resentment, and unfairness”

were frequently repeated in our counseling session. I have my own definition for these words,

but she may have a completely different meaning or understanding of these same words. In

order for me to truly understand my client, it is important for me to comprehend how she

interprets these key words and what they mean to hear. Otherwise, I can only view her situation

within my own subjective experience.

Similarly, I would like to improve my use of immediacy. I believe I correctly used

immediacy earlier in the counseling session when I brought attention to the sadness of my

client’s voice. But, I also tried to use it while we were discussing her anger surrounding the lack

of validation she got for her profession and believe I could have done a better job in this area. I

commented on how she appeared fidgety by playing with her bracelet and asked if she was

uncomfortable with what we were discussing. She responded by saying that she was really upset

and was becoming heated by issue and just wanted to be respected for her line of work.

Looking back on my immediacy comment, I wish I could reworded my phrase and made

it sound more tentative. Instead, I would have said something along the lines of “While we were

talking about how you feel discredit, your voice sounded very angry and were twirling your

bracelet. What is that about?” I think that may have illicitied a better response from her rather


than her saying that she was just angry. Also, during my immediacy comment I said “little

bracelet” instead of just “bracelet,” and I wish I could take the “little” portion out. This may be a

minute detail but it made me sound like I was belittling her emotion and was talking to a child

instead of a young adult.

Through this counseling session, I have recognized some of my counseling strengths and

areas that need improvement. I plan on enhancing my counseling strengths by incorporating

foundational techniques and mannerisms into my everyday life. Using the L.U.V. technique can

be helpful while negotiation roommate quarrels and discrepancies within the office. And it never

hurts to practice attentive body language and paralinguistic utterances while talking with friends

and family. I hope that as I integrate these behaviors into my everyday life, the more successful

and genuine they will be within my future counseling session.

I plan on attending to my areas of improvement by increased practice and self-reflection.

I find that the more I tape, the more I can critically analyze my techniques. And once I have

discussed and reflected upon the issue I am facing, such how to be more immediate, I try to

tackle this challenge in my next tape. Before taping this session, I felt as if I did not understand

how to make an affective metaphor. Consequently, I made a 10 minute tape for my techniques

class where I tried to create as many metaphors as possible. Granted, this was not a proper

counseling technique, but by using a ridiculous amount of metaphors and challenging my brain

to create lots of verbal imagery for the client, I was no longer afraid of using them.

This process of self-reflection and goal setting has been my main practice for overcoming

my counseling challenges. Before I go into a taping session, I tell myself to focus on one area to

improve on while counseling. And that as long as I strive to do better in that area and make a

valiant effort to do better, I cannot be upset with my performance. Even if I end up making more


mistakes or not entirely improving, I remind myself that I need to “fail to succeed” in order to

become a successful counselor. This positive attitude helps me realize that these are not just

areas that I need to improve on, but are instead opportunities for self-growth that will help me

become a better counselor.

Counseling Reflection Paper

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