Consumed

Story: ConsumedStorylink: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7717294/1/Category: Vampire DiariesGenre: RomanceAuthor: CreepingMuseAuthorlink: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/3413231/Last updated: 05/14/2012Words: 138037Rating: TStatus: CompleteContent: Chapter 1 to 72 of 72 chaptersSource: FanFiction.net

Summary: Was the kiss at the end of "The New Deal" really worth feeling guilty about? Elena isn't so sure.

*Chapter 1*: Consumed

This was only supposed to be a one-shot, a little way of venting some frustration with the slow, slow burn of Damon andElena. Somehow, without my quite knowing how, it morphed into a massive alternate version of Season 3 with a keydifference: Elena chooses Damon. That changes everything. This was written right along with the season, trying to stayone step ahead and twist canon in new ways, always trying to dodge the curve balls the show threw at me while looking atwhat a real relationship between the two would look like and tossing in a few surprises of my own.

This story is a very hard T, with graphic violence and frank sexual discussion. Damon also says "fuck" a lot. It's been aninsane story to write, challenging and difficult but so rewarding as a person and a writer. I hope you enjoy.

-Allison, 5/12/12

"You know what? If I'm going to feel guilty, I'm going to feel guilty about this"

Damon's hands were on her face, lips pressing hers in a feather-light touch. Everything spun in Elena's head in adesperate swirl of emotions and input. It was all too much, the situation with Jeremy, Stefan's "betrayal," and nowDamon kissing her so tenderly, almost fearfully, like she was a confection of blown glass that might shatter into a millionpieces at the slightest touch. Where was the fire of the Damon who'd drunkenly sworn there was something betweenthem, the sweet regret in their death bed encounter, that fierce protectiveness of the man who'd saved her, in so manyways, time and again?

They parted by mutual consent a moment later, her lips cold from his touch. Those blue eyes searched her face andseemed to find their answer. "Goodnight, Elena." He started down the steps.

No. If she was going to make a fresh start, to truly and really let Stefan go, it wasn't going to happen like this. Shegrabbed his leather-clad forearm, and he turned towards her in surprise.

"If I'm just as guilty, I might as well feel bad about this." Elena snaked one arm around his neck, drawing Damon in. Andshe kissed him.

This time, there were no pesky invading thoughts, no angst over Jeremy or memories of another Salvatore's touch. No,there was only an outpouring emotion for this man, this son of a bitch who'd threatened her, hurt her, protected her,saved her, comforted her and always, always loved her.

This was no gentle press of lips, this was a kiss that consumed all thought, her body pressed against his, fingers woventhrough his dark hair. Damon's body went rigid for a moment, surprised by her sudden advance, but then he relaxedagainst her, his fingers raising once more to brush her cheeks, the calloused pads of his thumbs caressing the delicateskin. His lips parted, yielding under her insistent tongue.

For an endless moment they devoured each other, standing in the pale glow of the porch light. When they finallyreleased one another, each backed up a step, staring at the other with wide eyes, breath coming in short gasps.

"God. Elena-"

Elena's hand lifted to brush Damon's swollen lips. "Good night, Damon."

With a secret smile over her shoulder, she disappeared into the house. She knew she'd regret this in the morning, butfor now, that kiss was worth a little guilt.

*Chapter 2*: Hollowed

Thank you all for your wonderful feedback. I know I said I'd make it a one shot, but thanks to all your support (and acouple ideas I have knocking around), let's see where this goes, shall we? Please enjoy.

The guilt never came.

That wasn't quite true. There was plenty of guilt to go aroundalways was these days. Guilt over what she'd done toJeremy, guilt over what she'd done to Rebekah, guilt over Jenna and John dying because of her? Oh yeah, there was stilllots of that. But not a scrap of any of it involved what had happened on the porch with Damon Salvatore.

Elena sat on the edge of Jeremy's bed, folding his seemingly endless supply of hoodies and tucking them into asuitcase. He could do it himself, but she wanted to take care of him this one last time. God only knew how long it wouldbe before they met again. Besides, he had goodbyes to make.

Her mind wandered as her hands engaged in the mindless rhythm of folding and packing. Why wasn't she guilty? Wasn'tthat the right thing? Stefan's absence in her life was still a scar that turned into a sucking chest wound whenever sheconsidered it too long. In a very real way, she still loved himor at least, she loved the man he had been before he didthe noble thing one too many times.

But how many times did he have to say "I don't want you in my life anymore" before she got the picture? This wasn't amatter of compulsion now, not a matter of hidden humanity. Stefan was under his own control and with his moralityswitch in the fully upright and locked position. But he'd chosen a cold, dark lover over her. Elena could never competewith his revenge.

And it wasn't that she was in love with Damon. She enjoyed spending time with him, missed him when he left, trustedhim implicitly, and her heart skipped a beat whenever he turned those freakishly blue eyes on her. But she couldn'tignore what he was.

He was a murderer. He excelled at torture and compulsion. He got what he wanted, no matter what the costs. No matterhow sweet and kind and gentle he was with her (memories of blood forced down her throat, memories of violence andsavagery), he wasn't a tame vampire.

But he loved her. And when he'd kissed her last night, really kissed her...As much as she missed Stefan, it had neverbeen like that.

Elena lay the last t-shirt in the suitcase and reached into her pocket. She looked down at the item in her hand, looking forall the world like an antique gold pocket watch. She hid the Gilbert Device in a pocket of the suitcase. It was hisinheritance, after all. Jeremy ought to have it.

"You ready?" Alaric asked quietly from the doorway.

"Yeah. I was just finishing. I think he's got everything he'll need." Elena zipped the suitcase and Alaric picked it up, settingthe large roller bag on the floor. He started to turn towards the door, then stopped.

"You know...it's not too late," Alaric said.

Elena shook her head. "Yes it is. It was too late the moment my baby brother had to cut off someone's head. He's theonly family I have left, Alaric. I have to save him, even if it means..." she trailed off. Even if it means you'll never see himagain, her traitorous mind whispered.

Alaric nodded. "You're right. You're right. This is what has to happen. He has to have a chance at a life." He glanced at hiswatch. "We gotta go or he'll miss his flight."

The pair tromped down the stairs with the heavy suitcase, into the driveway where Jeremy stood. When Elena saw hissmiling, unburdened face, she knew this was right. Even if that happiness was compulsion-induced, she knew he'deventually feel it for himself. She forced a smile. She absolutely refused to cry. This was a happy moment: Jeremy'semancipation from the darkness that had swallowed him for so long.

"Thanks for packing for me, 'Lena. I wanted to say goodbye to everyone, and there wasn't much time," Jeremy said.

"Yeah, of course. I'm glad you got to say goodbye." Elena swallowed hard. Goodbyes. Yeah. About those...

Jeremy opened his arms wide to her, his eyes lighting in a genuine smile as she hugged him fiercely. "I'm going to miss

you, Elena. You should come visit me, we can do some skiing. You know the Johnsons would love to see you," he said.

For a long moment, she didn't respond. She just held him, memorizing every detail: the smell of his cheap cologne, theunexpected strength of his arms, the low rumble of his voice. And then she pulled away and put on her own best smile."I'd like that. Maybe for Christmas."

"Guys..." Alaric said, shutting the trunk. "We gotta go, it's a long way to the Richmond Airport."

"You sure you don't want to come to the airport, Elena?" Jeremy asked.

"No, I'm awful at goodbyes." She caught him in another tight hug. "I love you, Jeremy. You're going to love Denver. I'll seeyou soon."

"I love you too, Elena, but somehow...I don't think we'll be seeing each other soon." He pulled back, hint of confusion inhis eyes. "Will we?"

She couldn't lie to him. Not again. She just smiled and shook her head. "I love you. Call me when you get to Denver,okay?"

"Be careful, Elena." With a little wave, he and Alaric climbed into the car and drove off. She watched them until the cardisappeared from sight. Jeremy never looked back.

There was a soft breeze, and there was Damon. He opened his mouth to speak, and then thought better of it. And then,wordlessly, he took her into his arms, holding her close.

She pressed her face against his shoulder, clutching him so hard her arms ached. She couldn't breathe. Jeremy wasgone, her last trace of family. He'd live, he'd have his chance at a real life, but that was cold consolation when she stoodhere so alone against the whole damn world.

Well. Maybe not entirely alone.

Elena let out a shuddering gasp for air. Damon was still silent, holding her, stroking her hair. He was simply there, andthat was enough.

*Chapter 3*: Crushed

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Elena sank into the couch, hands extended to the fire in an attempt to soak some warmth into her tired bones, butsomehow she knew the flames couldn't give her what she needed.

"Thanks for letting me stay," she said. Damon pressed a mug of tea into her hands. "I didn't want to stay at hometonight."

The empty house was crowded with memories. Every room was a complicated mess of echoes. The kitchen, home toso many family dinners, had an indelible stain of blood behind the sink where John had fallen at Katherine's hands.Jeremy's room, where they'd spent hours playing video games (Jeremy was unbeatable at Mario Kart), and where she'dseen his cold corpse fall to the ground, reanimated by magic she didn't understand. The front porch, where the wholefamily gathered on sultry Southern evenings to drink glass after glass of sweet tea, and where a meat cleaver leftsplinters.

No, she didn't want to be at home tonight.

"I can understand that. You know you're always welcome here, Elena. It is technically your house, after all." Damonbusied himself with his decanters, pouring a stiff drink. Elena took a suspicious sniff of her tea.

"It's just Earl Gray, Elena. Unless you want to make it Irish?" He shook the bottle enticingly, but she shook her head. "Suityourself." He flopped onto a seat opposite her.

They sat in companionable silence for some time, sipping at their drinks and watching the flames. More and morerecently, there hadn't been a need for words between them. Damon knew that no words could comfort her against theloss of Jeremy. Yes, it was the right thing to do, even if the methods they'd used to achieve it were wrong. Yes, it suckedroyally, and no platitudes could make it suck any less.

Elena couldn't hide a smile as she heard Damon start to fidget, the leather creaking beneath him. "I wondered how longthat would take. Go ahead, say it," Elena said.

"What, you mean you don't want to talk about what happened last night?" Damon asked, leaning forward. "We don't haveto. Especially not right now. You probably just want to go to bed-" he started to rise.

"Sit down, Damon." She pushed the mug of tea away, starting to wish she'd taken him up on his offer for somethingharder. "So, do you feel guilty?"

Damon lowered himself back onto the couch, eyeing her warily, like he was walking into a trap. "Do you? Are you sorrywe-"

"No. Once you decided I wasn't going to run screaming and gave me a real kiss? No, I'm not sorry about that." Shesighed. "But I don't know what to do about it now."

Emotions warred across Damon's face: relief she didn't regret what they'd done, but disappointment that she wasn'tflinging herself into his arms again. "What do you mean? Look, Elena, if you felt somethingif you felt the things that Ifeel for you, then there's no question about what we should do now."

"Let's pretend we survive this. It's unlikely, but let's go with it. What happens then, Damon? Are you going to take me tomy senior prom, follow me to college? Are you going to be okay with me staying human, or are you always going to belooking for the first wrinkle and gray hair? You've made it clear over and over again that you're not Stefan, don't want to beStefan. You like killing, you like being a vampire. What happens when we have a fight, Damon? Are you going to threatento break my arm again?"

She sank back against the couch, suddenly exhausted. There. It was all on the table. Maybe now they could stoppretending that all that mattered was love. There were so many reasons it couldn't work, would never work.

Crushing, oppressive silence weighed down on them.

"I'm not a good person, Elena. Even before I became a vampire, I was selfish, vain, stupid. But every day that I'm with you,every moment we spend together, makes me want to try harder. I'll always do what I have to to protect you. And I won'tfeel sorry about it."

Damon rose, approaching her with steady steps. He sank to his knees before her, one hand gripping the couch oneither side of her legs. He looked up at her, his face stripped of artifice and naked before her. She had never seen himso vulnerable.

"I will never be the man you deserve. I'm not sure he exists. But I will love youas a human, if that's what you really wantfor as long as your heart beats. Everything else you mentioned? That's just logistics. I love you, and if that isn't enough,then you're right. We should both walk away right now. Because I can't play this game anymore, Elena."

There was that silence again. Not the companionable, pleasant silence they'd experienced earlier, but a silence thatcrackled with energy and anticipation, a silence that pressed upon them both, waiting for an answer.

Three times Elena opened her mouth to speak, to end that crushing silence, and three times she closed it, at a loss forwords. She slid from the couch to kneel beside him on the floor, knees touching. "I'm scared."

Damon took her hands in his, his skin dry and cool against hers, his grip strong. "So am I. None of this is going to beeasy. But I'd rather fail in a blaze of glory than never try at all, Elena."

She drew a deep, shuddering breath. Then another. She disentangled one hand from his, the tips of her fingersbrushing his cheeks like feathers. "Can you be patient with me? Can we take it one day at a time?"

His face split into a broad smile, not that closed-lip smirk, not that mocking quirk of lips she knew so well. No, this was agenuine, wide grin that transformed his face. "I've waited this long, Elena. We'll go as slow as you want to. I promise tobe nothing but a perfect gentleman."

Elena couldn't help but laugh. "Bullshit. It wouldn't be you if you were a perfect gentleman."

"An imperfect one, then." He brushed his lips against her forehead in the lightest of touches. Electricity danced down herspine.

"I'm in."

*Chapter 4*: Convinced

Have I mentioned you guys are awesome? 'Cause you are. Thanks for all of the subscriptions and reviews, they meanthe world to me. If you're enjoying this, you may want to check out "Well and Truly Broken," an action-packed rewrite ofSeason 2, or "Those Eyes," my character study of the late, great Andie Starr. Or, just sit back, relax, and enjoy.

It was strange waking up beside him.

There had been more than a few morning when she'd awoken to find Damon lounging in her bed, but this was the firsttime they'd gone to sleep together in his bed, the overwhelming scent of him everywhere, in the air, on her skin. The firsttime she really admitted to herself that she was glad to see him.

They'd fallen asleep curled together, but had shifted apart in the night. Elena didn't mind. It gave her a chance to watchhim sleep now. It was a strange thing to see someone lie so still: no twitch of heartbeat, no rise and fall of breath.

As a child, Elena had a desperate fear that one of her parents would die in the night. When monsters threatened fromher closet and she'd crawled into bed with them, she'd watch their slumbering backs, listened for her father's steadybreathing and her mother's soft snoring. Whenever there was a hitch or variation, she'd fling out an arm or a leg, just sothey'd move and she could be sure they were alive. Now, she had to fight the urge to give Damon a gentle prod, to nuzzleagainst his bare chest, just so she could be sure he hadn't vanished in the night.

She considered the man beside her. True to his word, he'd been quite the gentleman last night. They'd held each other,watching the flickering flames and content simply to be until she nodded against his shoulder and he spirited her up tobed.

Truth be told, the idea of having sex (Making love? Sleeping with? She didn't even know the right terminology when hewas involved) with Damon terrified her. Not that she didn't want to. After all, he was beautiful, and she did care about(Love? Was that what this was?) him. But he had so much more experience than she did. She wasn't even sure havingsex with Matt counted. Those awkward, fumbling encounters had involved a lot of giggling and a lot of fun, but hadn'tincluded many fireworks. And Stefan had always, always held back. He was gentle and soft and considerate to a fault.Sometimes she didn't want to make loveshe wanted to be well and truly fucked.

But Damon had probably bedded hundreds (or even thousands?) of women. What if she bored him? What if he thoughtshe was just a little girl trying to play a woman's game?

And what if he had the opposite problem from Stefan? Damon couldn't control himself in any aspect of his lifehowcould he be expected to hold back in the throes of passion? What if he hurt her? What if he bit her (Or did she want himto?)? All of it left a confused (though not entirely unpleasant) knot in her stomach.

"Like what you see?" A slow smile spread across Damon's face even as his words made Elena jump. "That's what youget for being creepy."

"I wasn't being creepy. Besides, you do it to me all the time." Elena had a disorienting moment of deja vu, but shesuppressed the feeling. This wasn't Stefan. Though maybe she should stop watching people sleep.

"How do you know if you were asleep?" His eyes still closed, Damon reached out and pulled her close, burying his headagainst her neck. "Mmm, why are you awake, anyway? It's way too early."

"I have to be at school early, sign some papers to finalize Jeremy's transfer." She frowned. "Speaking of, I should haveheard from him by now..." she rolled away from Damon, fumbling for her phone on the nightstand. He grabbed her arm,arresting the movement.

"No, you shouldn't. His flight didn't leave 'til late, then he had to fly to Atlanta, transfer, and then the red eye to Denver. It'llstill be a while." Those bright blue eyes finally opened, full of steel and sympathy. "Klaus is nuts, but he's not going tohijack a plane. Jeremy's going to be fine, Elena."

Elena heaved a sigh, her arm dropping back onto the bed. She let Damon draw her back into his arms. "I know you'reright. And I know I shouldn't call him. It'll only make it harder for him to adjust. But I miss him already."

"That's because you're a good sister." He pressed his lips against her hair. "You'll see him again. Maybe it won't be thatlong until this is all over with."

"Oh, Damon. You're sweet, but let's not start our relationship with lies." She pressed a kiss on the tip of his nose androlled out of bed.

"Caught me. But I do like it when you call it a relationship. Has a nice ring to it," he smirked.

Elena paused for a moment and turned back towards him. For the first time in days, a real smile spread across her face."It does, doesn't it?" But the smile didn't last. It faded as a new thought struck. "What are we gonna tell Stefan when hefinds out? Because he will find out."

Damon groaned, burying his face in the pillow. "Elena," he whined, "you are such a killjoy." With that disconcertingvampire speed, he was gazing into her face, his hands resting on either cheek. "We will deal with Stefan when the timeis right. I don't want to lie to him either. But believe me when I say that Stefan has enough on his mind right now withoutadding this." A wry smile curved his lips. "Besides, would he really believe that you wanted to be with me?" His thumbstroked her cheek. "I'm still not sure I do."

"Really? I do." She kissed him, a closed mouth peck.

"That wasn't very convincing, Elena."

"Then you're just going to have to wait until I brush my teeth until you get something more convincing. Don't vampires getmorning breath?" With a little grin over her shoulder, she disappeared into the bathroom.

Half an hour later, she convinced him. Then she slipped out into the chill dawn.

*Chapter 5*: Hidden

"I didn't know you were taking band this semester," Damon said, not looking up from his book. They sat tucked into abooth at the Grille. Elena was supposed to be studying trig, but her thoughts were far away from hypotenuses.

"What? I'm not taking band," she said.

"Oh, good. Then you can stop practicing your drumming." Damon stared pointedly at her hand. Elena hadn't even noticedthe incessant tapping of her pencil against her notebook. She dropped the thing with a sigh.

"Sorry. Maybe we shouldn't have come after all." Elena knew it was a mistake, even though she'd begged Damon tocome. It was out of sheer stubbornness that they were there: she refused to stop living her life simply because ahomicidal immortal vampire/werewolf whatever was trying to kill her. Damon had said it was too dangerous, but she'dwon him over in the end. And now she wanted only to be somewhere safe, somewhere they could hide. "I just keepthinking we're being watched."

"We are. Tyler's shooting pool. You know he's just waiting to report back to Klaus" Damon glanced at the boy brieflybefore his gaze settled on Elena. "But I have a feeling that's not what you mean."

"Have you always been this perceptive, or is this new?" Was she really that transparent? Could he see right through herlike that?

"Mmm. I always pay attention where you're concerned, Elena." He did that eye thing, the one that made the lump in herstomach explode into butterflies. Then he shut his book with a sharp snap. "C'mon. If we're going to talk, we better do itaway from wolfie." Damon pitched his voice so Tyler could hear, even from across the room. Tyler flipped Damon thebird.

Elena slipped her notebook into her bag while Damon dropped a stack of bills onto the table. As they walked out, shewas aware of how close he stood to her, how their arms brushed as they walked, the heat of his gaze as he held thedoor.

The sun was just slipping below the horizon as they left, the world bathed in dusky blue. They walked without anyparticular destination, hands nearly touching. Elena wanted to reach out, to take his hand in hers, to stroll hand-in-handwith him like a normal couple. But there was nothing normal about them. She jerked her hand away, casting a worriedglance over her shoulder.

Damon's brow quirked. "So. You wanna tell me why you keep jumping whenever we come within two feet of each other?"

No, she didn't really want to tell him. How did you tell the man you were with, the man you cared for (Love? Was itpossible? So soon?), the man you couldn't get off your mind that you were terrified for your friends to know you weretogether?

She saw all the reactions now. Caroline would remind her how he'd used her, sucked her, fucked her, tried to kill her."Don't you remember what he did, Elena?"

Alaric would stage an intervention, all earnestness and fatherly concern. "Do you know what you're doing, Elena?Because I don't think you do."

Bonnie would look at her aghast, her dark eyes full of righteous indignation. "Elena, are you crazy? It's Damon."

And what if Klaus knew? With Jeremy safely out of the picture, if he learned that hurting Damon was the best way to hurther...well, she didn't know what would happen then. She truly didn't.

"This is happening really fast, Damon." She swallowed hard. "I mean, it's been happening for a long time, but it's allkinda come to a head, you know? And I just don't want people to find out before I figure out how to tell them. About us."

Damon kicked a stone. It ricocheted out of sight. "Are you ashamed to be with me?" His voice was quiet, his tone urgent.

"No! No, Damon. It's nothing like that. It's just..." she groped for the words. "You want to tell Stefan when the time is right.You don't want him finding out from someone else, or at the wrong time. It's the same thing. And you know, you haven'texactly endeared yourself to my friends."

His mouth twitched into a half-smile. "No, I guess I haven't."

"But you said this wasn't going to be easy, Damon. And it's not.. But I'm trying. I'm really, really trying."

Being with Stefan hadn't been easy, exactly, but it had been simple. He loved her. She loved him. They got along well,genuinely loved each other on some level. But it had been shallow and simplistic, with some deeper, undefinedsomething that was always missing. With Damon, nothing was easy. The very act of choosing to be with him was achallenge. But every moment they spent together confirmed the very rightness of the choice. Being with Damon wasnever going to be boring, but it was always going to be difficult.

Damon looked left and right, like a child about to cross the street. Confident that the coast was clear, he pushed Elenabehind a gnarled live oak tree, a curtain of Spanish moss shielding them from sight. Her back was pressed against therough bark, his lips hovering above hers.

"I had to keep what I felt for you a secret for so long, Elena. For the first time, I feel like someone sees me." He started tospeak again, but broke off, frustrated. "Fuck. I don't have the right words, Elena. But no matter how I tried to hide from you,you saw who I really was. And you thought I was worth seeing, worth saving. So I want to be with you, in front of the wholeworld."

"And I want to be with you too, Damon. I'm trying to figure out a way to tell them." She ran her fingers through his long hair,mustering a faint smile. "Any suggestions?"

"Get 'em drunk. At least Ric. That always works. But they'll come around, Elena. If they see that I make you happy, theywon't be able to argue." A hint of anxiety, a dash of doubt crept into his eyes. "I do make you happy, don't I?"

Elena laughed, her breath soft against his cheek. "Is Damon Salvatore insecure? About a girl?" She pressed herlaughing lips to his in a long, deep kiss, arms twining around his neck. "Yes. You make me happy."

Damon's eyes remained closed after the kiss. He pressed his lean body against hers, and she felt his arousal againsther leg. "God, Elena. You're making this gentleman thing hard." His voice was a low growl.

She kissed him again, soft and sweet. "I promise we'll tell them. Soon. And you are being quite the perfect gentleman.Thank you, Damon. Thank you for that."

"For you? I can even try to be nice to Caroline. If that doesn't prove I'm serious, then nothing will."

Laughing, the two strolled into the night.

*Chapter 6*: Known

You guys are wonderful. I mean it. I know you're loving the frequent updates, but I won't get a chance for one tomorrow,so please let this slightly longer chapter hold you over a couple of days. Enjoy!

The scene was so familiar: three girls gathered in Caroline's sunny, cheerful bedroom. It was one of Elena's favoriteplaces. Caroline had the best dress-up clothes, then the best magazines, then the best stash of booze. How manyhours had they all spent together in this room, staging elaborate plays under Caroline's bossy direction, gossiping,crying over boys?

But right now, Elena wanted to vomit all over Caroline's pretty bedspread.

Damon had offered to come with her, for moral support if nothing else, but she knew that him being there would make itworse for Bonnie and Caroline. It was going to be tough enough for them to hearthat she and Damon were an item; theydidn't need a visual aide.

Caroline was finishing showing off the great clothes her dad had bought her. Elena smiled and nodded with absentappreciation. Once she'd finished, Caroline flopped onto the bed next to her, dislodging a few stuffed animals from theirpile near the headboard. "You're awfully quiet, Elena. What, don't you think mango is going to be the color this season?Because it totally is, you should have seen all of it at Sak's."

"Oh, I hope not. Mango washes me out. I hope it's plum instead," Bonnie said.

Elena laughed. Leave it to Caroline to push aside all their fears about being murdered horribly, focusing instead onfashion. It felt good, just for a moment, to be that carefree girl again. "Last I heard it was going to be mint, but I guess I'ma little out of the loop." The smile slid off her face. This was it. This was the moment. They'd once pinky sworn they'dnever let boys come between them, and they never had. But this could be it.

"Guys, I have something to tell you. And it's kinda hard for me to say and it's gonna be weird for you to hear, so I just wantyou to let me finish before you say anything, okay?"

Bonnie blinked at her, wide-eyed and innocent, nodding her assent. But Caroline gave her a long, measuring look."You're seeing Damon, aren't you?"

"Caroline! She is not seeing Damon! Where do you get this stuff? Elena's smart, she'd never-" Bonnie was silenced byElena's guilty face.

"Oh, please, Bonnie. Don't you remember when they made chili? Couldn't keep their hands off each other. Then withStefan being gone and them nearly getting killed like every week, how could you have missed it?"

Elena felt deflated. The secret was out in the open...if it had ever been a secret. Caroline's relationship radar wasuncanny, so maybe it stood to reason that she'd seen right through them. But the expression on Bonnie's face brokeElena's heart. Bonnie was so good, so pure, so righteous. She thought everyone could walk the same path she did, holdto the same exacting moral standards. Elena had constantly disappointed her when they were younger, when she'dsneaked peeks at her classmate's tests or flirted a little too outrageously with a few too many boys. This was evenworse: Bonnie saw Damon as an incarnation of pure evil. And maybe she should. But Elena couldn't stop wanting whatshe wanted.

"Yeah. I'm seeing Damon. I know it's hard for you to understand. He's done some awful things to both of you. I know that.But he's changing, guys. He said when he's with me, he wants to be a better person, he wants to try harder."

Caroline groaned. "Elena, that's the oldest line in the book. Please tell me you didn't fall for that."

"It's not a line! He means it," Elena protested.

"How do you know he means any of it? How do we know you mean any of it? What if he's compelled you to think all ofthis, Elena? Did you ever think of that?" Bonnie said, her voice like ice.

"No! He wouldn't do that. Damon would never compel me," Elena said, trying desperately to defend him. God, this wasn'tgoing well.

"Why not? He did it to me," Caroline said quietly.

Elena blinked rapidly. She wasn't going to cry. That just wasn't going to happen. She had nothing to be sorry for. "I know. I

know what he did to you, Caroline, and to your Grams, Bonnie. But he's changing. I believe that. And as much as I loveboth of you guys...you have your own lives to deal with, and he's been my rock through all this. Some days, Damon's allthat keeps me above water." She swallowed, climbing off Caroline's bed. "I don't have answers for you about why, and Ican't make what he did right. But we're together. And I hope you can be okay with that eventually."

Her eyes flickered from one face to another. Bonnie wouldn't meet her gaze, but Caroline looked wistful, her eyes faraway. Her clear blue eyes snapped back to the present, and she stood, wrapping Elena in a tight hug. "I'm just worriedabout you. Promise me you'll be smart: always wear your vervain, keep your head on straight. But you're my friend, and ifhe's what you want, then that' s okay. I guess."

"Caroline...thank you," Elena whispered against her friend's shoulder, a few rogue tears spilling over. This was the bestreaction she could have expected.

The blonde pulled back, a wicked smile on her face. "Damon and I might just need to have a talk about how he needs totreat you. He takes me a little more seriously these days."

Elena laughed, mustering a tremulous smile as she wiped her cheeks. She thought the worst might be over...until shenoticed Bonnie was gone.

One out of two wasn't bad. Better than she could have hoped for, even. But the worst part of all this was that she had todo this all again. Elena pulled into the driveway at home, parking behind Alaric's car. Maybe this wouldn't be as hard.Alaric liked Damon. Usually. When Damon wasn't killing him for shits and grins.

Maybe she should get him drunk.

She found him in the living room, red pen in hand and a pile of papers spread before him. Baseball was muted on theTV, and his glass of bourbon was close at hand. He smiled when he saw her, but it was tight and worried. "Welcomehome, Elena. Haven't seen much of you lately. You doing okay?"

"I'm fine. I've talked to Jer a couple times. He's doing greatreally great. He starts school tomorrow and says he'salready met a girl he thinks he might like." Elena had to smile at that. He'd sounded so happy, so unburdened by life-and-death concerns. They'd done the right thing. "How about you? You feeling okay? What happened with the ring...thatwas bad."

Alaric scowled down at the tacky ring on his finger. "I'm fine, Damon's blood did the trick. I still don't know what's wrongwith this thing, though. That's never happened before."

Elena sat, hands folded primly in her lap into a white-knuckled grip. Okay. Here goes. "I have to tell you something, Ric."

Alaric looked up at her, eyes darting with confusion. "What is it? Is it Klaus?"

"No, for once it doesn't have anything to do with him. It's..." she stumbled. "I don't know how to say this to you. I alreadytold Bonnie and Caroline and that was bad enough..."

Slowly, Alaric laid his grading pen down, turning towards her. "Oh, God. Elena. Are you...are you pregnant?"

That did it. Elena erupted into a peal of giggles. "Pregnant? You thought I was trying to tell you I was pregnant?" The ideawas so absurd, it set her off into nearly hysterical laughter again. The look on his face...Damon was going to love thisstory. The thought of him was sobering, and she managed to pull herself together. "No, that's one problem I don't have.Ric...I'm dating Damon."

Ric stared at her. He reached for his bourbon, draining the glass in a gulp. "You're dating Damon. Tell me,, how does an17-year-old girl date a 170-odd-year-old vampire?"

Elena stood, locating the bourbon bottle on the sofa table. She refilled his glass, leaving the bottle by its side. "I know. Itdoesn't make any sense. Everything about it says it should be wrong, but-"

"And what about Stefan, Elena? He's a little off the reservation right now, but Damon's still his brother. Isn't it justcommon courtesy not to date your ex's siblings?" His voice was raised, angry.

"Yes, I know, but-"

He took a long pull of the bourbon. "Or how about the fact that he's a murderer, Elena? He's killed me twice, nevermindhow many other people," Alaric said, really yelling now. Oh God, she hadn't thought it could be worse than Bonnie's silent

disapproval. But it could.

"You're not telling me anything I don't already know," she yelled back, frustrated.

"Do you love him?" Alaric asked flatly.

"What?" Elena was flustered beyond belief. Of all the questions he'd expected Alaric to ask, of all the objections she'dexpected him to raise...that hadn't been on the list.

"In spite of all that, do you love him?" Alaric repeated the question deliberately, gaze fixed on hers.

"Yes! I love him, okay? Was that what you wanted to hear?" The words were gone before Elena even had time toconsider them. She sat down abruptly when she realized what she'd said. Where had that come from?

"Yeah. I know." Alaric gave her a sideways smile, pausing for more bourbon. "I'm glad you know it now, too."

"Did everyone but me know about this?" Elena asked, voice stilted with shock.

"Pretty much." He picked up his pen, pulling a stack of papers towards him. "Just be careful, Elena."

She nodded, drifting out of the room in a fog. She loved Damon. When had that happened? How had it happened? Shehadn't the slightest idea, but the more she thought about the words, the truer they were. Against all odds, all logic, sheloved him.

He was waiting when she opened the door to her room, curled into the window seat with the grace of a cat.

"How long have you been there?" Elena asked, hovering uncertainly in the doorway.

"You too, Elena. I love you, too."

They sat together in the window and watched the moon rise.

*Chapter 7*: Pretended

The moon was laughing at her.

How could it have shone so gently last night when she'd sat with Damon in the window seat, only their hands touching,gazing up at its cool, distant face? Sitting there, just for a moment, Elena had been happy. There were still steepmountains to climb, but for an instant, she'd thought that if they were together, they could face them all.

What an idiot she'd been.

Now the moon watched, its bloated, far-off face curled into a mocking smirk as Elena stumbled along the road, the tasteof blood in her mouth, the stench of betrayal rising off of her in waves. Too stunned to cry, ghostly images danced beforeher eyes.

A sullen girl slouched in the backseat, buzzed and resentful. Her parents exchanging worried glances as they caught thesmell of cheap beer. Her mother reaching back to squeeze her knee. A sickening lurch as the car careened and tookflight. A scream that never seemed to end, but went on and on and on until it ended with a strangled gurgle as the waterrushed in-

Headlights lanced her eyes. Pure panic ran through her: Klaus? Stefan? A hybrid? There were too many enemies. Shedidn't even know who she most feared anymore. A figure emerged from the car and ran towards her as she skitteredtowards the woods that lined the road.

"Elena! Elena, it's me!"

She drew to a halt as Damon approached. But when he reached for her, she pulled away, arms crossed tightly acrossher chest. "No. Don't. Not now." The thought of his hands on her transported her to other nights, other blood that killedand saved forced down her throat as she choked on the blackness. "Please. Can you just take me home?"

Back lit as he was by the headlights, Elena couldn't make out Damon's face. But his voice was gentle. "Of course. I'mjust...I'm just glad you're okay, Elena. I heard Klaus on the phone with Stefan and..." He started to reach for her again, butstopped. "Believe me, Elena, I never thought Stefan would go so far. I never thought it would come to this."

"Yeah, well. He did and it did." She knew she should comfort him, that he was losing his brother even as she was losingher first real love, but she just couldn't. Not now. She was exhausted in body and spirit (and still a little tipsy) and wantedto put as much distance between her and the bridge as she could.

"C'mon. Let's get you home." Again, she saw him stop himself from reaching out to put a hand on her shoulder, to steerher to the car. They reached the vehicle and drove in silence for long moments, Damon casting her worried sidelongglances.

"I keep thinking I should get used to almost dying. That I'll come to terms with the fact that I'm going to die, and probablysooner instead of later," Elena said, staring straight out into the night. "But it doesn't work that way. I was so sure Stefanwas going to do it, drive off the bridge and into the water just like..." she swallowed hard. "I was sure he was going to doit, and all I could think of was how much I wanted to live."

"You would have lived. In a way," Damon said quietly.

Maybe that was the solution. Maybe she should just stop fighting it and give in, let Damon slowly drain her until there wasnothing left. When she awoke, she'd be safe. She wouldn't be the doppelganger, she wouldn't be soft and vulnerable. Ifshe'd been a vampire, Stefan never could have grabbed her: she'd be fast and strong and immortal.

"If that happens one day, it's going to be on my terms. Not Stefan's, not Klaus', not even yours. Mine. And it won't be out offear. It'll be for love."

Damon turned to her, eyes wide and dark, hope glinting in their depths. Hesitantly, she reached for him, placing herhand on his where it rested on the gear shift. "One day. Maybe. A really long way off. But right now, I just want to hide untilI know all of his blood is gone," she sighed.

"I told you, Elena: we'll play this however you want to play it. I have...thoughts on the issue, but I realized a long time agothat you hating me for eternity wasn't a good long-term strategy." Damon started to turn into Elena's subdivision.

"No. God, no. Not there." Part of her wanted nothing more than to go home, run into her parent's room and bury herself intheir bed, telling herself she could still smell her mother's Chanel Number Five on the sheets, still hear her father's

electric shaver whining in the background, that nothing had changed. But the larger part of her knew that the ghosts thatroamed those halls wouldn't give her peace tonight.

Damon flicked the turn signal off and continued on towards the boarding house. "Talk to me about something else.Anything else. I can't think about what happened tonight anymore. I just can't," Elena pleaded.

Elena watched as he considered and rejected multiple options for light conversational fare before settling on one. "Howwas Caroline's birthday?"

"She wasn't in the mood to party, so we had a funeral instead." That memory brought a smile to Elena's face. At leastshe'd done one good deed today. She hoped that Caroline and Tyler hadn't done anything too crazy in the woods. Shedidn't want to see him break her heart again.

"Of course. That's the obvious choice," Damon said dryly. "Judging by the way you smell, it was more of an Irish wake."

"Mexican, actually. Tequila."

Damon wrinkled his nose as they pulled into the long drive of the boardinghouse. "You kids. I'll have to help you cultivatebetter taste."

Elena couldn't stifle a laugh. "You're amazing."

"True. Why am I amazing in this particular instance?" Damon asked.

"Because tonight, Bonnie called me a manipulative bitch of a sister, I was kidnapped, force-fed vampire blood, andnearly died, but you can still make me laugh and think that maybe all that wasn't so awful compared to the fact that I hadto drink tequila."

Damon put the car into park and turned towards her more fully. The full force of his tremendous gaze focused solely onher, he drew her hand to his lips and pressed soft kisses to the back, then to her palm. "I'm glad." He held her gaze foran instant longer, and a mischievous smirk crossed his face. "Just tell me you didn't eat the worm."

They disappeared into the house and pretended the world could never find them.

*Chapter 8*: Ruined

I remain completely b lown away by the response to this story. Thank you all so much for reading. I think there's a lot offun still to be had. We'll follow the show when it makes sense, using it as a framework to explore our favorite couple, butthere are some other stories to tell, too. Let's get to it, shall we?

"Flow from downward facing dog to mountain pose," the woman on the yoga video instructed soothingly. "Be consciousof your breath."

Alaric had suggested adding yoga to Elena's already rigorous fitness regime. "Flexibility can be just as important in afight as speed or strength," he'd said. "It can help you pull yourself out of tight spots. And it might help relieve somestress, too."

He'd been right. It felt good to focus solely on her body, on each precise movement and subtle shift in weight. Hertraining regiment was becoming more and more of a solace these days, a way to escape the thoughts that constantlybombarded her and replace them with simple actions.

"I am conscious of my breath," echoed Elena as she rose from her arched position to stand tall. She'd laid her yoga matin front of the fireplace at the boarding house; she still hadn't been able to spend much time at home. She'd even thoughtof selling the house, purging the memories once and for all, but she knew she never would. Those memories wereimportant to keep, even if she couldn't bear to live among them.

"Plant your feet firmly. Feel yourself connect to the earth beneath you. Stand as tall and as strong as a mountain," theyoga woman said.

"I am as tall and as strong as a mountain," Elena murmured.

"Yeah you are." Elena's eyes flew open, her mountain crumbling as Damon spoke. His eyes meandered up her body,taking his time, visually caressing every inch of her body from her bare feet to the tip of her ponytail. "I think I still preferthe 'warrior princess' look, but there's something to be said for a girl who can put her legs behind her head."

"Damon. You are ruining my moment of zen," she said sternly, though she couldn't keep the flush off her cheeks.

"You know what ruined my moment of zen today? Caroline threatening to do...uncomfortable things with certain portionsof my anatomy if I ever hurt you." Damon came to stand behind her, lips pressing against the nape of her neck. "I let herthink she was intimidating."

Elena relaxed against his chest. "How's she doing? With everything?" Hearing about Caroline's own brush with death atTyler's handsand subsequent healing from Klaushad been sobering in the extreme. Tyler could not be trusted. Ever.No matter how badly he wanted to do the right thing, he wasn't pulling the strings anymore.

"Honestly? Great. Weirdly great. She seems better than I've seen her in a long time, in fact. Once we'd established that Iwas not, in fact, going to break your heart, she started going on about plans for college and studying abroad in Paris." Heshrugged. "Go figure. Guess the experience gave her some perspective." He wrapped his arms around her waist, hislips hovering against her ear as he spoke. "By the way, her warning was completely unnecessary."

Elena shivered at his nearness, turning in his arms until she faced him. "I know that. She was just trying to help. Thanksfor letting her think she's scary. That was incredibly nice of you."

"Don't say that, Elena. You'll ruin my reputation. I don't do nice."

"Decent, then. It was incredibly decent of you."

Damon considered this for a moment, then nodded. "We'll go with that. I think my rep can handle it." He smirked down ather. "So what's my prize for being so decent to your friend?"

Elena started to laugh, but it died in her throat. "Whose blood is that on your shirt?" A crumpled area of flaky, rusty redmarred his black shirt just around his navel.

Damon released her with a sigh, pulling the shirt away from his body so he could get a better look "I don't suppose you'dbelieve I spilled my lunch?" When she shook her head, unamused, he shrugged, dropping the shirt. "Stefan and I had alittle talk about what happened last night. That's all."

The yoga video on her laptop was still running, its new-age music floating through the air. "Next, we're going to rest in

corpse pose-" Elena slammed the laptop closed.

Well, what had she really expected would happen? That Damon would just let the whole thing drop? Not likely. Whilehe'd laid down with her when she'd gone to bed, she'd awoken in the night to find his side of the bed empty, the sound ofpacing footsteps echoing through the cavernous house. He'd tried to be strong for her, but she knew the whole bridgeincident had affected him deeply.

But at the same time, what was the point of fighting? Elena knew that ultimately, Damon loved Stefan more than anyoneelse. Even her. "If we get him back, I think it's going to be because he loves you," she'd said once. "Not because he lovesme." Now, she didn't think they were ever going to get Stefan back, but she also didn't think Damon would ever be able todrive a stake through Stefan's heart, watch his skin turn to ashes and the light die from his eyes. They'd fight, throw eachother into walls, stab each other with makeshift stakes, scream in agony, and nothing would change. There was no realdanger for either of them. If it ever came down to it, Elena knew she would have to be the one to put Stefan down.

The whole idea just made her feel tired and so very old. "Are you okay? Is it yours?"

"It's his. He got a couple of good licks in, but it'll be a cold day in hell when my brother beats me in a fight." Damonscowled down at the bloody shirt, then tugged it off over his head and headed for the bedroom. Elena followed. "I don'tknow that I knocked any sense into him, but it made me feel better, at least."

"I guess that counts for something, though I wish you'd told me you were going to do it. How did you even know where hewas? Where's he staying in town?" Elena had been pretty far out of the Stefan loop. She'd preferred it that way, but afterlast night...well, they should probably be keeping closer tabs on all their many enemies.

There was the briefest of hesitations as Damon rummaged through his wardrobe for a new, identical black shirt thatcost a minor fortune. But Elena couldn't help but admire the view of his broad, muscled back. "Ran into him at the bloodbank. I was running low on B-."

"You fought in public? At the hospital?Does everyone in Mystic Falls know about vampires now?"

"No," Damon said with a hint of disgust, pulling the t-shirt over his head. "In the woods behind. We're still in the coffin,Elena, this isn't True Blood."

"You don't need to snap at me. I'm just worried about you, Damon. I know that it's even harder for you to see him like thisthan it is for me."

Damon looked at her, that cocky facade slipping. "Yeah. It's...it's never been like this with him before. Even when he wasin his stupid Ripper phases, he was never quite so ruthless. I mean, yeah, he ripped people apart and put them backtogether, but he didn't know those people. They were just collateral damage. But for him to think of you as collateraldamage? That scares me, Elena. I don't know what he'll do next."

Elena crossed the room to him, wrapping her arms around him. He squeezed her back, so tightly her ribs protested, butshe didn't budge. She didn't offer words of comfortshe didn't have any to give, and none would be adequate to the task.But she could hold him as he'd held her in her darkest times, and try to give him what strength she could.

They stood locked in the embrace for a timeless moment. Then Damon screamed, a sound that made her blood runcold. He sagged, all the strength suddenly gone from him. She tried to keep her grip on him, to support him, but his deadweight crashed to the ground. He curled into the fetal position, that endless scream still slicing through the air, handsclutching his head.

Elena whirled towards the door to find Bonnie, her face transformed into a mask of cold triumph as she watched Damonwrithe in agony.

*Chapter 9*: Compelled

"Bonnie, what are you doing? You have to stop!" Damon's scream was endless, an agonized wail. Elena wanted to fly tohis side, to do something to make the pain stop, but she knew that her best bet was to reason with Bonnie.

"Elena, don't you see? I'm doing this for you," Bonnie said, her face softening from that terrible hauteur.

"For me? Bonnie, no. You're hurting him, you may be killing him. You have to stop!"

"Bonnie," Damon managed, her name elongated into a moan of pain. Incredibly, he was attempting to stand. "I'm gonna-"

"Stay down," Bonnie commanded, flinging her outstretched hand towards him. A fresh scream tore out of Damon's throatas he fell back. Blood trickled from his ears.

"Okay, okay, Bonnie! Why do you think you're doing this for me? Let's talk about this," Elena said, an edge of panic in hervoice. Bonnie would see reason. If she could just get her to stop hurting Damon, Elena knew she could make her seesense.

"I figured it out, Elena. Why you've been acting so strangely." Bonnie looked at her with sympathy. "It all started when Itook your necklace to destroy it. Your vervain necklace. Damon finally had a chance to compel you, and he took it."

Elena stared at her friend in horror. "No, that's not what's going on, Bonnie. Listen to me-"

"No, Elena, you need to listen. I've been so worried about how you've been actingfirst you have him compel your ownbrother to leave town, then you tell me you're actually dating him? The Elena I know and love would never do thosethings. Compulsion is the only thing that makes sense. And I know you don't understand it. It's just like Jeremy: you don'trealize what really happened."

"I know exactly what happened, Bonnie. Love happened. I sent Jeremy away because I love him, and I love Damonenough to risk everything to be with him. There's no compulsion! They're my choices. You may not like them, but they'remine. Now stop it!" Damon's screams had quieted to pathetic whimpers. Blood flowed freely from his nostrils.

"I know you believe that," Bonnie said gently. "That's why I'm here. I'm going to help." Her eyes turned towards Damon."There's only one way to break compulsion." The candles at Damon's bedside erupted into gouts of flame.

"There has to be another way. Isn't there...isn't there some spell you can use to prove that I'm not compelled? I'll dowhatever you want, but you have to stop this!" Elena was frantic.

"There's only one way. I'm sorry, Elena, but you'll thank me once you see." Bonnie stretched her hand out to Damon.

There was no more time to think, no more time to reason or bargain. All she could do was act. Elena punched Bonnie inthe face.

Alaric would have been so proud. Her form was perfect, her thumb tucked over her index finger, leading with her first twoknuckles, wrist perfectly aligned. She hadn't expected quite how much it would hurt to connect with human flesh, the painas her knuckles scraped over Bonnie's teeth, the sickening crunch as she connected with her nose.

The effect was instantaneous: the flames died, Damon stopped his pitiful moans. Bonnie stared at her in shock,bleeding from a split lip. "Now will you listen? Every choice that you hate so much? That was all me. The Elena you knewis dead, Bonnie. The new Elena has to make hard decisions. And if you can't handle that, you need to get the hell out."

Blood dripped from Bonnie's chin. Her eyes narrowed. She nodded once, turned, and left. Elena held her breath until sheheard the front door slam behind her. Then she flung herself to her knees beside Damon. "Damon, Damon, can youhear me? Are you all right?"

His eyes were closed, a sheen of sweat coating his face. He was pale, the lines of blood on his face standing out instark relief. "Elena...?" He managed.

"Just hang on a minute, Damon. I'll be right back. Just hold on." Elena tore through the house, making her way to thebasement. Thank God Damon had just picked up more blood. She threw the freezer open, snatching two bags atrandom from the neatly arranged rows before reversing course and flying back to him. She settled his head in her lap,fumbling as she attempted to open the damn bags.

"Elena. You're bleeding," Damon whispered.

She glanced at her right hand. Sure enough, the skin on her knuckles had been torn away, a thin rivulet of blood tricklingdown her wrist. "And you just had a ten minute aneurism. Let's prioritize here." She ripped the tubing open, spatteringherself with a fine mist of red in the process. Then she slipped the tube between his lips like an obscene crazy straw. Hedrank greedily.

By the time the bag was gone, Damon was able to sit up, and color was returning to his cheeks. He reached for thesecond bag. "One more. Then I'm going after her." His voice shook with fury.

"No you aren't. The exact same thing will happen all over again, only she might finish the job this time. She needs sometime to cool off, to think about all this. Then she'll be okay." Elena cast a worried glance at the door, as if the witch mightreappear at any moment. "But...I've never seen her like that before."

"Oh really? Because I have. You know, like that time she set me on fire. Or the time she tried to trap me in the tomb. Orthe time-"

"Okay, okay. I guess I have, but I really thought she'd do it this time." Elena didn't have enough friends left to lose one.Especially not one who'd always been as loyal as Bonnie had. But was it really so hard to believe she'd love Damon, thatshe could forgive him for the sins of the past? Did she act like a woman compelled?

"Yeah, she was taking that migraine thing to the next level." Damon dabbed at a spot below his nose, looking at hisbloody fingers with disgust. He picked up the empty blood bags, climbing to his feet with some difficulty. He disappearedwith them into the bathroom, returning with a clean face, a damp washcloth, and the first aid kit.

"How did you get her to leave, anyway? I missed some of the finer points of the conversation while my brain wasmelting." He settled down next to her on the floor, taking her hand.

"Um. I kind of...punched her. In the face." Elena was still having trouble processing the fact that she'd punched anyone,let alone her best friend. But she had. And it had worked. And deep down, in some tiny part of her that she was ashamedto admit existed? It had felt good.

Damon looked up at her in surprise. "You punched her? And I missed it?" He wiped the blood from the back of her hand,examining the scrape more closely "That's how you got this?"

"Yeah. I didn't know what else to do. She was crazy, Damon. I thought she was going to kill you. But I guess she realized Iwas serious after that...I don't know. I don't know why she left, or what she's planning now." Damon swabbed antibioticcream over her knuckles. She sighed. "I can't believe she thought you were compelling me. Even when you were being acomplete jerk to me you never did that."

There was a long moment of silence as Damon packed the items back into the first aid kit. He turned towards her, dampwashcloth in hand. Gently, he began wiping the freckles of blood from her cheeks. He wouldn't meet her eyes. "I did.Once."

"Youwhat?" She grabbed his hand, stopping his ministrations. "You compelled me?"

"I'm not proud of it, Elena." He rubbed his eyes tiredly. "When Elijah kidnapped you, and Stefan and I rescued you fromthat creepy old mansion? That night, I came to see you."

"My necklacethat's how I got my necklace back. I never knew where it came from," Elena said, the pieces suddenlyfalling into place.

He nodded. "I came to give it back to you. And I guess Bonnie was right: when there was an opportunity for me to catchyou without your necklace, to compel you, I took it."

"What...what did you do? Damon, I need to know." Elena knew she was a hypocrite where compulsion was concerned.Twice she'd asked Damon to compel Jeremy, and she still believed that in both instances, it was the only option, thebest thing for him. But when it came to her? Compulsion was a violation, a subversion of free will. The idea that he'donce done that to her, and that no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't remember when or why or how it hadhappened? That made her skin crawl.

"Do we have to do this, Elena?" He finally met her eyes, a thousand unspoken memories swimming in their depths. "Ipromise it was nothing bad. I swear to you. But please, let's not do this."

"Yes, we have to do this! What did you do, Damon? You said you always wanted it to be real between us. God, is all thisa lie? Is what I feel for youis that all because of what you made me feel?" She stood, needing some distance betweenthem. Her chest was tight.

"No! Elena, I would neverit's all been real. Everything is real. I just...I had to tell you. I had to tell you I loved you." Herose, but kept a respectful distance from her. "But you couldn't know. Not then. It wasn't right. But I couldn't keep thatsecret inside of me anymore, Elena."

"That's all you did? You just made me to forget what you told me?" Relief washed over her. What he'd done still wasn'tokay, but she could deal with it. She could accept it. He hadn't made her some kind of grotesque puppet, hadn't madeher love him.

"That's all. If I could give you those memories back now, if I could show you, I would. But it doesn't work like that. I'venever done it again, Elena. I swear. I never will. I do want it to be real. It is real. For me, it's sometimes the only real thingin the world." He looked at her, and she saw fear in his eyes. Fear that she would hate him for this, that she'd turn herback on him and leave him here all alone.

"You didn't have to tell me. I never would have known otherwise. But if you ever do that again, for any reason, what Bonniedid to you will look like a cakewalk." She approached him, and he eyed her warily.

"Are you...are you gonna punch me?" he asked.

She smiled grimly. "No, you idiot." She kissed him then, her hands cradling his face. "Don't make me regret it."

*Chapter 10*: Stripped

Holy cow, we're on chapter ten! To think this all started as a one-shot drabble of less than 500 words. Thank you all somuch for your subscriptions, your reviews, your encouragement and your criticism. I'm having so much funI hope youare, too.

Elena slammed the door with all her might, taking some small satisfaction as the house rattled. She threw her book baginto a corner and stomped into the living room, her face a storm cloud.

Damon was rifling through a bookcase, looking for something. He glanced up in surprise at her little tantrum. "Bad day?"

"You could say that," she muttered, throwing herself onto the couch.

His eyebrows knit together in concern as he abandoned his search, crossing the room towards her. "Was it Bonnie?Surely she didn't try anything at school."

"No, she wasn't even there." Elena wasn't sure if she was relieved or frightened by Bonnie's absence. She knew it wasn'tover between them. Bonnie could hold a grudge forever. Sooner or later they'd have to finish what they started. Elenacould only hope that Bonnie could get the insane idea of compulsion out of her head. Or at least cut the witch bullshit.

"And it wasn't Klaus, right? Last thing he would do right now is hurt you, after all the trouble he went through to save you,"Damon said, sitting on the other end of the couch, giving her some space.

"No sign of Klaus," Elena confirmed bitterly. "He wouldn't want to hurt his little blood bag, after all."

Damon's face darkened. "It was Stefan, wasn't it? I swear, I'll-"

"I haven't seen Stefan since the night on the bridge, Damon." So many enemies. It was like living with a bundle of swordssuspended over her head. At any moment, on any day, any one of them could drop and strike her dead. Every day thatpassed without one falling was worse than the last, the incredible anticipation and anxiety building and building,stretching her tight like a wire. "Look, it's nothing. You'll think it's stupid. Let's talk about something else. How was yourday?" She tried to push her irritation aside, to pull herself together.

"My day? It was fine. Great. Stupendous. Elena," he said, scooting closer to her. "Just tell me what's wrong, I'll go kick itsass, and you and I can enjoy a rare evening in which neither one of us has a brush with death." Damon knocked on thewooden coffee table, just in case.

Elena hesitated. "It is stupid. Compared to everything you just mentioned, it's so tiny."

"Spit it out, Elena," Damon ordered impatiently.

"I got a D," Elena admitted. "There. See how stupid it is? I got a D." She turned to bury her face against a couch cushion.

"You got...a D? In school? On a paper?" Damon asked, puzzled.

"A test," Elena said, voice muffled by the pillow.

Damon was silent. When she needed comforting after nearly being driven off a bridge? Damon was all over it. Butdealing with high school issues? He was a little out of his depth. He rested his hand on her back. "It can't be that bad."

She turned towards him. "It's exactly that bad. I had okay grades my first two years of high school, but then with myparents and...everything else, they've fallen. But they were still good enough, but I just bombed that Bio test. And if I can'tkeep my grades up, I can't go to college. And that means I'll be flipping burgers the rest of my pathetic life." She hid in thepillow again. There. He was going to think she was so stupid. Like any of this mattered-she probably wouldn't survive theweek.

"Now, stop that." Damon gently pulled her out of the pillow. "I don't think one test has totally ruined your life."

"Oh, what do you know? You didn't even go to high school," Elena said. Her eyes widened suddenly, and she clamped ahand over her mouth. "Oh my gosh, Damon. I didn't mean it like that."

He smiled, eyes a little wistful. "Yeah. You're right. I had governesses and tutors. They just hit me with rods when I gotthe answer wrong. That's nothing compared with having to flip burgers forever." He poked her gently in the ribs. "Go getyour Bio stuff. Go on."

Eying him warily, she stood and got her book bag, dragging it back to him. She produced a battered exam, a giant Dscrawled in red. For a long moment, she hid the paper, clutching it to her chest. What if he thought she was dumb? Shesighed and pushed it towards him.

"A scarlet letter. How poetic." He examined the test in detail, flipping through every page. "There's no reason you can't dothis, Elena. It's just Linnaean taxonomy. It's straight memorization. You just didn't have enough time to study."

Elena gaped at him. "You...you know Biology?"

Damon grinned. "Some of it. The parts that interested me. Or the parts my cute governess taught me. Mmm, MissPatmore..." He smiled at some long-ago memory. "But yeah, I liked Biology. I read On the Origin of Species right after itcame out. Survival of the fittest got a lot more interesting after I was turned, that's for sure." He threw the test onto thetable. "So here's what we're gonna do. You are going to make flash cards and I am going to quiz you on them." His eyeslit up. "Ooh, we could play strip flash cards! Every time you get an answer wrong, you have to remove an article ofclothing." He tugged playfully at the hem of her shirt. "And when you get an answer right-"

Elena looked at him, head canted to the side. "You...you'd do that? For me?"

"Elena, I'd do anything with you that involved the word strip." His eye-thinging was out of control.

"Well, obviously. But you'd study with me? You'd help me with something that's so...mundane?"

Damon brushed a strand of hair out of her face, letting the long strands glide through his fingers. "There's going to comea day when we aren't going to have to fight anymore, Elena. When we don't have to spend every day out of our minds withfear or every night just trying to make it until sunrise. And I can't wait for that day, when we can just be together and donormal, boring things. Because it will never, ever be mundane or boring if I'm with you. You asked me if I'd follow you tocollege? Elena, I'll follow you to that burger joint you see in your future or anywhere else you want to lead. It doesn'tmatter what we're doing or where we are. Any day with you is worth a hundred years of the life I've led up 'til now."

Elena stared at his earnest, honest face. He meant it. He meant every word. It wasn't the danger he loved, not theadrenaline that seemed to follow whenever they were together. He genuinely wanted to be with her, when times weregood and when times were bad and when times just were. He really did.

She pushed him back onto the couch with one hand, pressing her body against his. And she kissed him, earnestly andhonestly. Damon's hands ran up and down her sides, tracing her curves, his weight solid and steady beneath her. Whenthey finally broke for air, he smirked up at her.

"So that's a 'yes' to strip flash cards?"

*Chapter 11*: Doubted

The good news: To thank you all for sticking with me through all this, I'll be writing a one-off describ ing exactly whathappened between Damon and Elena in their tutoring session (thanks to faithful reviewer Nymphadora for the idea). Thebad news: It won't happen until this weekend, and this chapter is decidedly lacking in fluffy bunnies. But it's alwaysdarkest before the dawn. Please enjoy.

The front door slamming shut woke Elena. She blinked blearily around the room, then burrowed back under the covers.No. No way was she getting out of bed yet. It was Saturday, and she and Damon had spent most of the night studying.She bit her lip, smiling as she recalled just how effective his study methods had been.

It felt strange and sinful to lie there, not to rush off to rescue someone or thwart some coming evil, just to be able to closeher eyes and let her thoughts drift on a sleepy Saturday morning. Granted, that would have been much more pleasant ifDamon had still been in bed, but she'd make do. She was content to doze in a pleasant fog until she heard a familiarvoice downstairs. It was distant and muffled, but she couldn't mistake Stefan's voice.

"Okay. I'm here. What do you want?" he asked flatly. All his words now were so curiously devoid of emotion, so empty ofanything except hate and bitterness. So different from the brooding Stefan who seemed to feel everything more keenlythan anyone she'd ever met. She still missed him, and suspected she always would. He was her first great, epic,sweeping love, the first man who'd made her feel alive and precious and desired and loved. No matter what kind ofmonster he was now, she could never forget the sweet, noble, kind boy he had been.

"I just think it's time we had a heart-to-heart, brother. One that doesn't involve sharp, pointy objects for a change," Damonsaid. "Sit down, let me pour you a drink."

Elena froze. He was going to tell Stefan! This was the moment he'd been waiting for, the words he'd been carefullycrafting? He hadn't breathed a word of it last night. Quiet as a mouse, Elena slid out of bed and tip-toed to the closeddoor. She didn't dare open itdamn vampire hearingbut she pressed her ear against the door, not wanting to miss aword.

"Oh, were you going to tell me you're fucking Elena? Because Bonnie told me all about that," Stefan drawled, bored anddisinterested. Elena felt like she'd been punched in the gut, like all the air had been forced from her body. "You know, it'sfunny. She seemed to think I'd actually care. I think she only told me because she thought I'd kill you for it." Footsteps."But Damon, I'm not going to do that. I'm happy for you. It's nice that you get to have my sloppy seconds. Again."

Elena ripped the door open, half running, half falling out of the room and down the stairs. She could have predicted thescene before she laid eyes on it: Damon had Stefan by the throat, pressing him against a bookshelf, the youngerSalvatore's feet dangling off the ground.

"Damon, no!" Elena cried.

"Get back upstairs, Elena. This is a family discussion; it doesn't concern you," Damon said coldly, not sparing her aglance.

"Come on, Damon," Stefan gasped. "There's no reason we can't share, just like we did with Kath-"

Damon released his grasp, sending Stefan crashing to the ground. Damon began to kick his younger brother as he layon the floor, those stylish Italian shoes connecting with Stefan's ribs, the sound of splintering bone and squelchingorgans overlaid by the solid impact of Damon's foot again and again and again...

Elena ran towards the horrific scene, grabbing Damon's arm with both hands. "Stop!"

He shook her off, never pausing in his attack. She tried again, shoving his shoulder, trying to turn him away from Stefan'sprone form. "You have to stop it! Damon, it's Stefan!" That got his attention: he stopped his assault, turning to stare at herfor a long moment, eyes full of blood. He nodded, as if with sudden understanding.

"I was an idiot to think anything would change" Damon's gaze darted between Elena and Stefan's crumpled body. Thenhe shook his head. "Fuck you. Fuck both of you." And he was gone.

Elena stared at the place Damon had been. She didn't understand. None of it made sense. Damon had been so good,so in control lately. He really had been changing. But then to see him snap so quickly, to lose his cool over his brother'sstupid insults...well, maybe that should be expected. But for him to turn on her? She hadn't foreseen that, and she sureas hell didn't understand it.

Stefan climbed to his feet, grinning at her through teeth stained with his own blood. "Well, I think that went well, don'tyou?" Elena's stomach roiled as she heard his ribs cracking, saw the bones rearranging under his tattered, torn shirt.

"Just shut up, Stefan," Elena said, looking around the living room, as if it might give her some clue about where Damonhad gone.

"Don't worry, I'm leaving." He turned towards the door, then paused. "I expected this from him. But you?" For an instant,Elena could see the old Stefan shining through, vulnerable and sensitive as a sigh. "I expected more from you." Then he,too, was gone.

He wasn't at the town green. Or the Grille. Or Alaric's apartment. Or anywhere. She roamed the woods around theboarding house, calling his name until she was hoarse. His car still sat in the driveway, so she knew he couldn't havegone far. Out of options, she returned to the boarding house and waited. And waited.

She wanted to be sick. She wanted to kill Bonnie. She wanted to cry. She wanted to kill Stefan. She couldn't be still,pacing every inch of the house. Damon would come back. Wouldn't he? Or would he just run the first time things gottough between them, that their reality didn't meet his romantic dreams?

Worst of all, didn't even understand what had happened. "I was an idiot to think anything would change." What did hemean? She'd only been trying to help. None of it made sense.

The shadows lengthened. Afternoon turned into evening and evening into night. Klaus has him, she realized with a start.It has to be. Stefan left and did something stupid, and Klaus killed Damon. Or worsewhat if he sired him? The thoughtleft her cold. She seized her car keys, ready to march over to Klaus' house and...and do something, when the doorcreaked open and there he was.

"Damon. Thank God, I was so worried." She started to run to him, to fling her arms around him, but then she saw theterrible look in his eyes, scented the heavy smell of bourbon. She stopped, uncertain. "You're drunk."

"You really should be more surprised when I'm not drunk," he said, brushing past her. "But in this case, I have a sociallyacceptable reason to be wasted. Why are you still here?" Seizing the decanter, Damon poured two generous fingers ofbourbon, then downed it like water.

"What do you mean, 'why am I here'? I spent all day looking for you! I thought you were dead in a ditch somewhere,Damon. What happened?"

More bourbon gurgled into his glass, but he didn't down it right away this time. He turned to look at her, and for a split-second, Elena saw every one of his years etched onto his face in lines of grief and pain and despair. "'You have to stop,'"he mimicked cruelly. "'Damon, it's Stefan.'" He snorted. "That sounds familiar. You worded it a little differently last time,though. How did you put it?" He pretended to search for the words. "Oh, right. 'It's Stefan, it's always going to be Stefan!'"More bourbon disappeared. "Go home, Elena. Or go find Stefan. That's what you really want."

Elena stared. "You think I want to be with Stefan? That's what you thought I meant? That I couldn't stand to watch you hurthim? That's why you stomped out of here like a spoiled brat?"

"Spare me the lecture, Elena. Go, do what you always do: go save the bad boy from himself, ease his suffering, makehim see the hero deep inside." He sneered, but it melted from his face. "The worst part is, I believed you. I believed thatyou could really be with me, that you could really love me like I loved you. That's the worst part."

"Damon, you don't know what you're saying," Elena whispered.

"I know what I saw, Elena." He rounded on her, eyes blazing, nostrils flaring. "I saw-"

"You saw me trying to save you from killing your brother," Elena interrupted. "Yeah, Damon. That's exactly what I said: It'sStefan, and you could never forgive yourself if you lost your temper and killed him because of me. And if you hadn't runaway like a coward, I could have told you that and I wouldn't have spent all afternoon thinking you were dead and youwouldn't be drunk and pathetic."

The words kept tumbling out; she was on a roll now, couldn't stop herself. "But you go ahead, you believe the worst. Youbelieve no one can ever love you. You're damaged goods, right? Well newsflash, Damon: So am I. And I still love you. Inspite of everything, I love you. But what's going to come between us isn't your stupid asshole brother, Damon. It's you."

She had to stop thenshe ran out of breath. Elena wasn't sure which of them was more surprised by the outburst.Damon's face fell, all the anger visibly ebbing out of him. He swayed on his feet. "That...that's all true, isn't it?"

Elena shook her head in disgust. "Yes, Damon. Of course it's true." She turned to the door. "I'll see you around."

"You're leaving? Elena, don't go."

"You need to sleep it off, Damon. And you need to figure out what you really wantif you can get out of your own way andlove me. Because Damon? I chose you. Not Stefan." She sighed. "Goodnight."

She didn't look back; she knew if she did, she'd stay. But she kept her back straight and her head high as she walkedaway, returning to a night of tears in a house full of ghosts.

*Chapter 12*: Chosen

Whew, guys! These last couple of chapters have been tough to write, so thank you for your encouragement. It keeps megoing. There will be no new chapter tomorrow (Thursday) so I can have a little break and we can all enjoy the newepisode, but I'll be back on Friday. Please enjoy!

"Didn't we decide this was creepy?" Elena asked. She lay in bed, eyes closed, but sleep hadn't found her last night.Maybe she'd dozed for a while, falling into fitful dreams that vanished the moment she awoke, but most of the night wasspent staring at the ceiling, replaying the scenes of the day over and over again. The soft swoosh of the window openingand the light tread of feet hitting the floor alerted her to a visitor.

"It's okay because you're awake. Had you actually been asleep, it would have been creepy," Damon said.

"Oh, good. Glad we dodged that bullet." Elena finally opened her eyes. Damon hovered near the window as if unsure hewas welcome, his figure outlined by the dawn.

Neither spoke for an eternity. They simply watched each other like wary adversaries, both too proud to make the firstmove.

"Damon," Elena started. "I- Oh, get over here. I'm not going to bite you." She sat up, scooting over to give him room on thebed next to her. He hesitated only a moment before joining her, perching awkwardly on the edge of the bed instead ofreclining like he normally did. Resolutely, she turned his face towards her, fingers warm against his cool cheek. "I said alot of things yesterday. Some of them...were kinda low blows. But the one thing you should listen to, the one thing youshould believe, is that I love you."

Slowly, his eyes rose to meet hers. "I know that. I think. I mean, I do know it. Intellectually. But sometimes what I knowand what I feel don't always line up." He sighed. "You have to understand, Elena: Stefan always got everything I everwanted. Didn't matter if it was toys or friends or women, if I really wanted it, Stefan got it. And let's not even get into mytextbook daddy issues." Damon stroked the back of her hand tentatively. "So it's...an adjustment for me to realize that foronce, someone chose me. " He swallowed hard. "And I'm scared, Elena. So scared that if Stefan ever snaps out of it andstarts playing the golden boy, that you'll run right back to him." His face was resigned to the inevitability of Stefan's nextvictory.

Elena's first inclination was to rush to reassure him, to tell him that she loved him now, would always love him no matterwhat happened. That's how she felt sitting with him at this very moment, but she was too much of a realist to thinknothing would ever change. If Stefan did wake up tomorrow, see the error of his ways and beg for her forgiveness, didshe really know what she'd do?

But, the way she felt with Damon was so different from anything she'd experienced with his little brother. In a way, shethought it was a more grown-up kind of love, a love tinged with darkness but worth fighting for anyway. But she couldn'tdiscount what she'd felt for Stefan. That had been real, too.

"I can't lie, Damon. I love Stefan. If all of this hadn't happened, if Klaus hadn't taken him, I'd probably still be with him."Damon's eyes were full of quiet acceptance: he was expecting the ax to fall, for her to tell him that he was just somethingto do until Stefan came to his senses. She hastened to continue.

"But you can't compare the two of you. Stefan was my first real love, and he'll always be that. But something about beingwith him wasn't real, Damon. When I'm with you, I don't have to hide. I can just be who I am, even when I don't like who Iam very much." She smiled. "I love you because you don't put me on a pedestal. Because you can make me laugh.Because there's some darkness in me that sees the same in you. And if I had to make a choice between puppy love andwhatever this is? Damon, I choose this. As much as it hurts sometimes, I choose us."

Surprise flared, and then faded into something softer, the barest tips of his fingers brushing her cheek. "God, I love you,even though I don't deserve you."

"Not really your call, Damon," she said, her hand capturing his. "The three of us will always love each other, and that willmean things will always be hard. But will you at least give me a chance to explain next time, before you run off and getplastered?"

He gave a sheepish little grimace. "Not my finest hour. None of it was, from start to finish. I was an idiot to do it with youin the house. I thought I was preparedI knew he'd say those things. I'd played it all out in my head, exactly how it wouldgo." He paused. "The version in my head had less kicking, though. I'm sorry you had to see that."

"But not sorry you did it," Elena noted dryly.

"I wasn't going to kill him, Elena," he said, as if mildly offended by the idea. "I didn't break out the flamethrower oranything. What I did to him...that's like a handshake for vampires," he smirked, scooping her up and settling her down inhis lap facing him, feet splayed on either side of his hips. "There wasn't even any staking."

Elena started to rise to the bait, but broke off, shaking her head. "I'm going to let that stupid comment go for right now,and admit that I may have been overly dramatic in thinking you'd kill him. Just a little."

He flashed one of those rare smiles that transformed his whole face into a vision of innocent happiness. "Look at that.Both of us admitting we're wrong? Satan must be ice skating as we speak." He leaned in to kiss her, but stopped mereinches from her lips. "Say it again," he breathed. "Tell me you love me."

"I love you, Damon Salvatore." She kissed him, softly and sweetly. "Believe it."

"I'm starting to," he murmured, diving in to kiss her again in a way that was neither sweet nor gentle, but recalled theirkiss on the porch, when all thought dissolved and everything fell away except his lips on hers, his tongue probing, hishands under her shirt, painting bolts of electricity across her skin.

His lips broke away from hers, tracing kisses down her neck, along her collar bone. He was starting to tug her shirtupwards when there was a gentle knock on the door. The pair froze.

"Elena? I know it's none of my business, but I heard you come in last night," Alaric said awkwardly from the other side ofthe door. He'd heard her crying, he meant. She hadn't exactly been stealthy about it. "I just wanted to make sure you wereokay?"

Elena was struggling to suppress her giggles. Damon was staring at the door with such fury, she was certain it wouldburst into flames. Poor Ric. He had no idea what he'd just done. "Ric, yeah," she called a little breathlessly. "That's reallynice of you, but everything's fine. I'll be down in a minute, okay? I'll catch you up."

"Yeah, okay." Footsteps retreated down the stairs. Elena rolled off of Damon, unable to keep her laughter under wrapsany longer.

"Your face," she gasped.

"Ha. Ha. Hilarious," Damon deadpanned. He loomed over her for a moment, then lowered his head, pressing his lips tothe bare skin just above the waistband of her skimpy sleep shorts. Her flesh leapt under his touch, her stomachtightening with anticipation. "Just you wait. You'll get yours." His words were a promise; his eyes were a threat. In a flash,he was standing, rearranging his clothing. "Go ahead. I'll be at the door in a minute. Wouldn't want to miss this familybonding moment." He spirited away out the window.

Watching the curtains blow in the breeze behind him, Elena couldn't wait for him to make good on the threat.

*Chapter 13*: Bonded

"Hi Mr. Saltzman! Is Elena home?" Damon asked in a playful falsetto before brushing past Alaric into the house. "How's itgoing, Ric?" he added in his normal voice, giving his friend a light punch on the shoulder. Judging by the teacher'swince, the tap was a lot harder than it looked.

"Damon," Elena warned as she walked down the stairs. "Be nice."

"Yeah, what the hell was that for?" Alaric asked, baffled.

"No reason," Damon said, shooting Elena a secret smile.

Alaric's eyes darted between the pair. Finally, he shook his head. "I can't deal with this without coffee. Might needbourbon, too." He shuffled into the kitchen.

Elena gave Damon her own love tap on the shoulder. He was kind enough to fake a convincing look of pain. "Unless youwant to explain to Ric what he interrupted, you probably shouldn't punish him for it," she said.

"Oh, I have no problems telling Ric what was going on. He's not my teacher-slash-father-figure-slash-roommate.Besides, I'm pretty sure he'll figure it out that we aren't just holding hands when we're together." He paused, a frownappearing between his eyes. "Even if that's mostlywhat we've been doing."

With a few notable exceptions, he was right. She was making a concerted effort to be with him with all her mind andspirit, but when it came to adding her whole body to the equation, things continued to be complicated. But every day,Elena lost a little more of her fear of disappointing him, of boring him, her fear that he would lose control and drain her tothe dregs. Every day, she took one step closer.

She opened her mouth to explain all this, to thank him for his patience and understanding, when his