Character and ConflictResolution from the Inside Out

• Where do most conflicts originate?• “Where do the conflicts and where do the

quarrels among you come from? Is it not from this, from your passions that battle inside you?” ~James 4:1, NLT

• Where do most conflicts originate?• “Let no one say when he is tempted, ‘I am

tempted by God,’ for God cannot be tempted by evil, and he himself tempts no one.

• “But each one is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desires.” James 1:13-14, NLT

• Where do most conflicts originate?• “Self is the enemy we most need to fear.• “No form of vice has a more baleful effect

upon the character than has human passion not under control of the Holy Spirit.” CC, 25-6

• INNER CONFLICTS-NEGATIVE RESPONSES

• Self-righteousness and hypocrisy• “Therefore you are without excuse, whoever

you are, when you judge someone else. For on whatever grounds you judge another, you condemn yourself, because you who judge practice the same things.” Romans 2:1, NLT

• INNER CONFLICTS-NEGATIVE RESPONSES

• Greed• “You desire and do not have…you quarrel and

fight. You do not have because you do not ask; • “you ask and do not receive because you ask

wrongly, so you can spend it on your passions.” James 4:2-3, NLT

• INNER CONFLICTS-NEGATIVE RESPONSES

• Laziness-Proverbs• Unforgiveness-parable of unmerciful steward• Conviction of sin-Cain• Pride-Lucifer, war in heaven• Control of others-Saul, Jonathon, honey• Guilt-Pharaoh

Influential Insights

• What a man is has more influence than what he says. cc7

• It is our own character and experience that determine our influence upon others. Cc7

• Only through a living faith in Christ as a personal Savior is it possible to make our influence felt in a skeptical world. Cc8

Influential Insights

• No other influence that can surround the human soul has such power as the influence of an unselfish life. Cc8

• The strongest argument in favor of the gospel is a loving and lovable Christian. Cc8

Influential Insights• It is because God is leading them that these

things come upon them. cc9• Trials and obstacles are the Lord’s chosen

methods of discipline and His appointed conditions of success. cc9

• He brings these persons into different positions and varied circumstances that they may discover in their character the defects which have been concealed from their knowledge. cc9

Influential Insights• To live such a life, to exert such an influence, costs at

every step effort, self-sacrifice, discipline. cc8• It is because they do not understand this that many are

so easily discouraged in the Christian life. cc8• Many who sincerely consecrate their lives to God’s

service are surprised and disappointed to find themselves, as never before, confronted by obstacles and beset by trials and perplexities. cc8

• They pray for Christlikeness of character, for a fitness for the Lord’s work, and they are placed in circumstances that seem to call forth all the evil of their nature. cc8

Influential Insights• We need to beware of self-pity. Never should

the feeling that you are not esteemed as you should be, that your efforts are not appreciated, that your work is too difficult. cc16

• Let the memory of what Christ has endured for us silence every murmuring thought. cc16

• We are treated better than was our Lord. cc16

Influential Insights

• Often those who make a great parade call attention to self, interposing between the people and God, and their work proves a failure.

• If any are qualified for a higher position, the Lord will lay the burden, not alone on them, but on those who have tested them, who know their worth, and who can understandingly urge them forward. cc17

Influential Insights

• Often those who make a great parade call attention to self, interposing between the people and God, and their work proves a failure.

• If any are qualified for a higher position, the Lord will lay the burden, not alone on them, but on those who have tested them, who know their worth, and who can understandingly urge them forward. cc17

Conflict Resolution (Causes)

• Miscommunication/misunderstanding• Find out what they perceived (reality)• Restate/illustrate/WIIFM• Priority and purpose (board meeting)• Competitive vs. complimentary (Jesus/JTB)• Compatibility (what fellowship/unbelieving

spouse/can 2 walk together?)• Boundaries (Nehemiah)• Selfishness/coveteousness (introspection)•

Conflict Resolution (Strategies)

• Trust God’s justice (Rom 12)• Soft answer (prov. 15)• Silent eloquence (Jesus on trial)• Seek their good (blind soldiers fed)• Witnesses (Mat. 2 or 3 present)• Apologize for your role (Mat. Agree with adversary quickly)• Ask questions – examples of Jesus• i/e vs e/I• Creativity and flexibility• Conflict in the Bible –Acts• Character examination--motive