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 A LL

BOUT

 CONFLICT

DO YOU WANT TO SEEK 

INFORMATION ABOUT CONFLICT

AND HOW YOU CAN RESOLVE IT?

DO YOU WANT TO HEAR OTHER 

PEOPLES CONFLICT STORIES?

DO YOU NEED HELP WITH YOUR 

CONFLICT RESOLVING

THEN THIS IS THE MAGAZINE FOR 

YOU!

 AUS $3.99 ISSUE NO.1

By Charlotte Aitken

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Definition:

 A CONFLICT is a situation between

two or more  people in which one

person sees that another person is

  wrong about something that the

first person cares about. If you simply disagree with

something that another person

says, this is not a conflict, just a 

disagreement.

 A conflict doesn't exist unless both

people significantly care about theissue, and believe that the other

person will do something that has

a negative impact on their life

It is the emotions that this

situation creates that make

conflict so unpleasant- things like

anger, sadness, betrayal.

However, conflict is a normal partof life and cannot and should not

  be avoided entirely. In fact,

learning skills to handle it in a 

calm and respectful way, means

that differences can lead to

understanding other perspectives

as well as creative problem

solving. So read more.........

 WHAT IS...

CONFLICT

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CONFLICT OFTEN OCCURS

THROUGH PARENTS: Many

people would have grown uphearing their parents argue, so

are confronted with it from an

early age.

EVEN THE TEACHERS

EXPERIENCE CONFLICT: 

Even the people you look up toand see nearly everyday have

conflict with their work partners

and others they are close to.

THE BEST THING: Resolving

conflict is a life skill, and when

you know how to do it, it canmake your life a whole lot easier

in the long run. The only hard

part is learning how to resolve it!

onflict occurs because everyone in the world is different. You are

an individual and no-one in the universe will think the exact things

that you think or have the exact same opinions as you! However,part of being human is that we assume that we are right and we often

  want people to think the same as us! We can take it personally or feel

threatened when they don’t. So conflicts happen to us often, until we learn

to compromise and influence each other in healthy ways.

Many children in this generation grow up seeing their parents, friends

and relatives fight and not resolve it in the best way. This is not helpful, as

 when they grow up, they are more likely to not resolve conflict well, andneed to learn new skills of conflict resolution.

Sometimes the old saying, “You should never discuss politics, religion, or

money” can be very true. These are considered "hot topics," things that

most people are passionate about and if you disagree it could cause an

argument or dispute. Feeling very strongly about something often

prevents people from being open to new ideas, so choose

 your battles wisely!

Experts say that it is not only what you say but how you

say it that is important, as an aggressive tone or body 

language can be very threatening and cause a fight.

C

 WHY DOES IT OCCUR?

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IN CONFLICT, you can make people really angry or upset without even

knowing it, so it is important to acknowledge other people’s feelings. By 

noticing the emotions of the other person, you will be able to put yourself 

in his or her shoes, which helps you to understand his or her point of 

  view. Sometimes the other person just feeling that you ‘get’ them, andunderstand their point, is all it takes to be reconciled.

It is important to realize that people do not always react the same way 

that you would to a situation and so you need to be careful to try and not

provoke them.

 Anger is a normal emotion, but it is important to learn how to handle it

so you do not hurt others. Simply saying “I am feeling angry” is a start!

 Violence should never be a solution to any conflict or argument as it does

not solve anything and always makes things worse.

FEELINGS IN

CONFLICT

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There are 4 main steps that you can take ....

1. THINK FIRST

  You need to define the problem and get it clear into

 your head what is happening.

Brainstorm ideas on what you could do and think of 

the consequences that each idea might result in.

Talk through your ideas with an adult if you need help of just

 want an opinion on what you should do. There are teachers, counselors

and parents who may have experience and advice on the issue.

Realise that you may get angry when you talk to the person, so planahead the different ways that you can calm yourself down. Some

examples are count to 10 before you say anything you will regret and

 breathe slow and deep breaths to calm down.

2. WHAT NOT TO DO

There is an easy way to remember the things NOT to do - WAD!

 W  - withdraw or distance yourself and ignore the issue.

 A - attack and say things like, “You are such a ...You did this...You were...”

Never call them names, threaten them, or bring violence into the matter.

D - defend your own position and not listen to the other person

3. WHAT TO DO

Give them the benefit and doubt - “You may not mean it like this...”

Use an ‘I’ position - “When you do this, I feel upset”

Invite their views into the discussion - “What do you think?”

Really listen and feed back that you hear their opinion.

Stay calm and thoughtful as your speaking.

4. KNOW that you can’t control their response or the outcome, but try 

to act so you can go to bed that night feeling proud of how  you handled it!

What can we do to resolve conflict?

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IT WORKED FOR ME!

Name: Shawn Tack

Age: 18

My Story: I had a great

group of friends, supportive

family, and my grades wereokay I guess. I pretty much

liked everything in my life,

except for my rugby team.

My coach picked on me for

the whole season and I

hated him! One day after

training I confronted him,

and told him straight up

that I did not like the way 

he was treating me. He was

so shocked that he just

 yelled at me saying that if I

 wanted to find a new coach,

then that was fine by him. I

told my dad about it later,

and he suggested to go onto

the internet and look at

  what to do. I found some

 websites, and the next day I

did what it told me to do,

and it worked! He said he

 was sorry and he would try 

to be a better coach. It just

shows that if you do the

r i g h t t h i n g s , c o n fl i c t

resolution can be easy!

Tanya’s story 

Name: Tanya Pitt

 Age: 19

Story: When I was in highschool, I had a really great

group of friends. We were

all close and told each other

everything. Then one day a 

new girl came and sort of 

floated over to our group.

  All of a sudden the girls

started to one by one

change into really mean

and back stabbing girls. I

knew this was happening 

and so I tried to stop them

from changing, but they all

denied it.

Then they started a rumor

about me throughout the

s c h o o l a n d e v e r y o n e

s t a r t e d t o t r e a t m e

differently. I hated school

then on.

My parents started tonotice a difference in my 

 behaviour and sent me to a 

psychologist who was great.

She helped me through all

my emotions and how I

could resolve this conflict.

The next couple weeks were

still hard at school, but I

found a group of better girls

  who treated me like a real

person with emotions.

I encourage anyone who is

struggling with conflict and

  wants to resolve it that

there is plenty of help out

there and you can do it!

Tanya 

Helpful Stories

Name: Sarah Hon

Age: 17

Her conflict story: I was 12

years old and my parents were

divorced, My dad had moved off 

to America to start fresh there. I

didn’t mind it that much, as Icould go to America or Australia

whenever I wanted to. I chose to

live with him in his house where

he had a girlfriend, who was

really nice to me. It was the first

week of year 7 at my new high

schoo l, and I didn’t know

anyone. I was so scared that day

that I didn’t talk to anyone. WhenI got home my dad asked me if I

had made any friends. I told him

about my day and he got really

angry at me for not giving it a

go. The next day the same thing

happened. I hated him for making

me go to a new school, and

fought with him all the way

through that night. Then hisgirlfriend came up to me and

said some words that really

encouraged me. She told me of 

how she started a new high

school when she was my age, and

how she noticed that if you take

the initiative and go up to talk to

people that it isn’t that scary at

all. I resolved the conflict with

my dad and the next day I had a

whole group of new friends!

Sarah

 ABOUT ME

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WHERE CAN YOU GO TO FIND HELP?

There are various networks, helplines and people who you can go to if you

need help with your situation. You can talk to counselors, psychologists, and

people on the kids helpline, as they are professionals and will know wha t to doin your story . Websites and Networks ha  ve information on the matter, and it

 would be one of the easiest places you can go to if you are in desperate need.

Mums and Dads also have great ideas on how to

resolve conflict if it is at school, as they have

  been through school and even if it was a VERY 

long time ago, they still had the same problems

as you do now days!

Here is the list of the people and places where

  you can go if you need help to resolve your

conflict situation.

Need Help?

1. Conflict Resolution Network

2.  Kids Helpline

3.  Counselors

4.  Mum and Dad

5.  Various websites

6.  Psychologists

http://www.crnhq.org/

http://www.teambuildinginc.com/tps/031a.htm

http://ww  w.humansolutions.org.uk/conflict-1.html

http://ww  w.mindtools.com/pages/article/newLDR_81.htm

http://ww  w.buzzle.com/articles/conflict-resolution-for-kids.html

http://ww  w.suite101.com/content/conflict-resolution-styles-a44628

http://ww  w.ohrd.wisc.edu/onlinetraining/resolution/aboutwhatisit.htm

http://ww  w.ehow.com/how_4827949_teach-conflict-resolution-teens.html

http://ww  w.pickthebrain.com/blog/resolving-conflicts-quickly-and-peacefully  /

http://ww  w.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTopicDetailsKids.aspx?

p=335&np=287&id=1521

http://adv ice.cio.com/abdhiraj/

 beneficial_consequences_of_conflict_behavior_in_an_organisation

Leisa Aitken, a clinical psychologist

BIBLIOGRAPHY