Gagnez en concision et en impact dans votre communication écrite en anglais
Concision
description
Transcript of Concision
Concision Adapted from the Carnegie Mellon Writing Tutorhttp://telstar.ote.cmu.edu/writingtutor/concisi
on.html
What? Longer isn’t better?
0Readers may be less likely to read longer texts0 Think of how often you count the pages of assigned
readings…0Wordy writing can be confusing
0Concision0 Say only what you need to say0 Doesn’t necessarily equal short sentences
Step 1. Delete Unnecessary Words
0Words that aren’t needed can 0 hide your intended message and purpose0 make you sound arrogant
0 turn your readers off
0Empty Words 0Redundant Words0 Inflated Expressions
Empty Words
0Words that add little or nothing to the writing0 Clutter sentences
Example:0Twain is basically arguing that human morality is actually
corrupt.Vs.
0Twain is arguing that human morality is corrupt.
Really Kind of Actually Certain
Virtually Practically Particularly Basically
Redundant Words
0Words that have the same meaning used as a group
Examples0There are three separate flaws that lead to humanity’s
corruption: greed, cruelty, and hypocrisy.
Vs. 0There are three flaws that lead to humanity’s corruption:
greed, cruelty, and hypocrisy.
Mathematical Equation
Rough in texture
Binding restrictions
Small in size Personal feeling
Inflated Expressions0 Using a lot of words to communicate something that could be
said more simply
Concerning the matter of, regarding the issue of, in reference to
about
The reason for, in light of, due to the fact that because, since, why
It is crucial that, it is necessary must, should
In the event that, if the situation arises, on the occasion
if
Is in the position to, has the ability to, is able to, has the capacity to
can
Prior to, subsequent to, simultaneously as before, during, while
Despite the fact that, notwithstanding the fact that, regardless of
although, even, though
There is a possibility that, it is probable that, there is a chance of
may, might, could
Reducing Inflated Expressions
0Ask yourself, “Can I say this in fewer words?”
Examples0 In the event that a slave hunter would find Jim, Huck
planned to claim that he was Jim’s master. Vs.
0 If a slave hunter would find Jim, Huck planned to claim that he was Jim’s master.
Practice
0 Select the phrase that would make the sentence more concise without changing its meaning.
They decided to continue with research despite the fact that there were serious budget constraints.A. although there wereB. notwithstanding theC. despiteD. in the face of
Now, read your excerpt for wordiness. Eliminate unnecessary or redundant words and simplify inflated expressions.
Step 2. Avoid Passive Voice
0Passive Voice – The subject of the sentence is not the doer of the action
Example0Passive: The argument about hypocrisy was suggested
by Fitzgerald in The Great Gatsby. 0Active: Fitzgerald suggested the argument about
hypocrisy in The Great Gatsby.
Practice – Passive Voice
0Rephrase the following sentences to change from passive to active voice.
1. The surgeon was assisted by two nurses.2. The mine disaster was caused by an earthquake.3. The chemistry lab was taught by a TA.
Now, edit your excerpt for passive voice. Change to active voice to eliminate wordiness.
Step 3. Change Negatives to Positives
Example0Negative: The two samples were not the same as the
others.0Positive: The two samples were different than the
others.
Again, negatives tend to be wordier.
Practice - Negatives
0Rephrase the sentences in the affirmative.1. Do not continue the treatment if the patient has
serious side effects. 2. The food safety board failed to accept about 2% of
the shipments. 3. The two theories are not the same in several
important aspects. Now, edit your excerpt for negatives. Change to positive
phrasing to eliminate wordiness.
Be Careful…
0 When working on concision, be sure to avoid0 Trimming too much
0 Leaving out important details – Consider your audience!0 Changing the meaning of the sentences
0 ExampleThe team of chemists conducted a study that linked the presence of smog with an increase in deaths from heart disease.
Vs.The team of chemists proved that smog increases the number of deaths from heart disease.
0 Check revisions against the original to be sure that the meaning if in tact.
Other Considerations
0 Combine sentences 0 Watch your modifiers
0 Very, basically, practically, definitely, generally, specific, individual
0 Avoid unnecessary that, who, and which clauses0 The report, which was released recently The recent report0 All applicants who are interested in the job All applicants0 The system that is most efficient and accurate The most
efficient and accurate system0 Avoid overusing “it is” or “there are” phrases at the
beginnings of sentences