Computer Tag Lines

7/24/2019 Computer Tag Lines

1/8

Programmers don't die, they just GOSUB without RETURN.

- Programmer - A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimateobjects.

- Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard tounderstand.

- Hit any user to continue.

- Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one ? (Y/N)

- Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS

- Smash forehead on keyboard to continue...

- All computers wait at the same speed.

- As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.

- Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"

- MY software never has bugs, it just develops random features.

- Computers are not intelligent, they only think they are.

- Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

- Relax, it's only ONES and ZEROS!

- Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.

- "640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981

- "!sgub evah t'nseod CP sihT ?sgub naem ayaddahW"

- "#define QUESTION ((bb) || !(bb)) - Shakespeare."

- "Daddy, what does FORMATTING DRIVE C: mean?"

- "Mr. Worf, scan that ship." "Aye, Captain... 300 DPI?"

- "Virtual" means never knowing where your next byte is coming from.

- 'Calm down -- it's only ones and zeros.'

- ..... REALITY.SYS Corrupted - Unable to recover Universe

- .signature not found! reformat hard drive? [Yn]

- 29A, the hexadecimal of the Beast.

-

- A bad random number generator: 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 4.33e+67, 1

- A computer program does what you tell it to do, not what youwant it to do.

- A computer scientist is someone who fixes things that aren't


2/8

broken.

- A computer's attention span is only as long as its extensioncord.

- A fault tolerant system must report the faults even as ittolerates them.

- A paperless office has about as much chance as a paperlessbathroom.

- (A)bort, (R)etry, (F)*ckup completely?

- A)bort, R)etry, S)elf-destruct?

- A)bort, R)etry, I)gnore, V)alium?

- A)bort, R)etry, I)nfluence with large hammer.

- A)bort, R)etry, P)ee in drive door

- (A)bort, (R)etry, (P)retend this never happened...

- AAAAAA - American Association Against Acronym Abuse Anonymous

- Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!

- APATHY ERROR: Don't bother striking any key.

- ASCII to ASCII, DOS to DOS.

- Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.- Brook

- After a number of decimal places, nobody gives a damn.

- All computers run at the same speed...with the power off.

- All hope abandon, ye who press ENTER here

- All new: The software is not compatible with previousversions.

- All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousyactors.

- All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?

- And on the seventh day, He exited from append mode.

- Another megabytes the dust.

- Any program that runs right is obsolete.

- Artificial Intelligence: Making computers behave like they do in the movies.

- As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.

- As of next week, passwords will be entered in Morse code.


3/8

- ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!

- Avoid temporary variables and strange women.

- BREAKFAST.COM halted... cereal port not responding!

- Backup not found! A)bort, R)etry or P)anic?

- Backup not found: A)bort, R)etry, M)assive heart failure?

- Backups? We doan *NEED* no steenking baX%^~,VbKx NO CARRIER

- Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..

- Best file compression around: "DEL ." = 100% compression

- Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.- Leonard Brandwein

- Brain fried; core dumped.

- Breakthrough: It nearly booted on the first try.

- Buy a Pentium Pro 200 Mhz so you can reboot faster.

- C:\GRAPHICS\GIF\NAUGHTY\FILTHY\DISGUSTING\WOW!

- CCITT - Can't Conceive Intelligent Thoughts Today

- CChheecckk yyoouurr dduupplleexx sswwiittcchh..

- CD-WOM, Wead Onwy Memowy.

- Cannot read from drive a: Your fault!

- Capt'n! The spellchecker kinna take this abuse!

- Compatible: Gracefully accepts erroneous data from anysource.

- Computer Science: solving today's problems tomorrow.

- Computer possessed? Try DEVICE=C:\EXOR.SYS

- Computer programmers do it byte by byte.

- Computers are unreliable, but humans are even moreunreliable.

- Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.- Pablo Picasso

- Computers talk to each other worse than their designers do.

- DYNAMIC LINKING ERROR: Your mistake is now everywhere.

- Death is a nonmaskable interrupt.

- Diagnostics are the programs that run when nothing else will.


4/8

- (D)inner not ready: (A)bort (R)etry (P)izza

- Disc space, the final frontier!

- Disclaimer: Any errors in spelling, tact, or fact aretransmission errors.

- Do files get embarrassed when they get unzipped?

- Do you like me for my brain or my baud?

- Don't comment or patch bad code; rewrite it.

- Don't document the program; program the document.

- Don't hit the keys so hard, it hurts.

- Don't let the computer bugs bite!

- Don't stop at one bug.

- Dreams are free, but you get soaked on the connect time.

- EBCDIC: Erase, Back up, Chew Disk, Ignite Card

- Earth is 98% full...please delete anyone you can.

- Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...

- Every bug you find is the last one.

- Exclusive: We're the only ones who have the documentation.

- Fer sell cheep: IBM spel chekker. Wurks grate.

- File not found. I'll make something up.

- Follow-ups to alt.nobody.really.cares

- Foolproof operation: All parameters are hard coded.

- Futuristic: It will only run on a next generationsupercomputer.

- Girlfriend Pregnant. (A)bort (R)etry (I)gnore ?

- Go ahead, make my data!

- God is REAL, unless explicitly declared INTEGER.

- Hackers have kernel knowledge.

- Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.

- How do I set my laser printer on stun?

- I came, I saw, I deleted all your files.

- I cna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet!!!


5/8

- I have a 9600bps modem and 1.5bps fingers

- I haven't lost my mind; it's backed up on tape somewhere.

- I'm a modemer and I'm OK. I post all night and I sleep allday.

- IBM: I Breaks Monthly

- IBM: I'd Buy Macintosh

- IBM: Idiots Became Managers

- If a program is useful, it must be changed.

- If a program is useless, it must be documented.

- If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0

- If it was easy, the hardware people would take care of it.

- If only women came with pull-down menus and online help.

- If you're right 90% of the time, why quibble about theremaining 3 percent?

- In /dev/null no one can hear you scream

- Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking?

- It said, "Insert disk #3," but only two will fit!

- Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.

- Life would be so much easier if we could just look at thesource code.

- Logic: The art of being wrong with confidence...

- Luke... Luke... Use the MOUSE, Luke -Obi Wan Gates.

- MIPS: Meaningless Indicator of Processor Speed.

- Machine-independent: Does not run on any existing machine.

- Maintenance-free: When it breaks, it can't be fixed...

- Make sure comments and code agree.

- Maniac: An early computer built by nuts...

- Me and my two friends... GIF and Wesson.

- Meets quality standards: Compiles without errors.

- Multitasking: Screwing up several things at once...

- My Go this amn keyboar oesn't have any 's.


6/8

- My computer NEVER cras

- My computer's sick. I think my modem is a carrier.

- Netnews is like yelling, "Anyone want to buy a used car?" in a crowded theater.

- Never forget: 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.

- Never put off till run-time what you can do at compile-time. - D. Gries

- Never trust a computer you can't throw out the window.- S. Hunt

- New: It comes in different colors from the previous version.

- Nice computers don't go down.

- Nobody has ever, ever, EVER learned all of WordPerfect.

- Nostalgia: The good old days multiplied by a bad memory...

- Objects are closer than they appear.

- Old MacDonald had a computer with an EIE I/O

- Old mail has arrived.

- Old programmers never die; they just branch to a new address.

- On a clear disk you can seek forever. -Computerworld button

- One man's constant is another man's variable. - Perlis

- One person's error is another person's data.

- One picture is worth 128K words.

- Performance proven: It works through beta test.

- Portable: Survives system reboot.

- Press all the keys at once to continue...

- Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!

- Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...

- Programming Department: Mistakes made while you wait.

- RAM DISK is not an installation procedure!

- SENILE.COM found... Out Of Memory.

- SET DEVICE=EXXON to screw up your environment.

- Shareware author dies: .GIF at eleven!

- THE LESSER-KNOWN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES #13: SLOBOL


7/8

SLOBOL is best known for the speed, or lack of it, of itscompiler. Although many compilers allow you to take a coffeebreak while they compile, SLOBOL compilers allow you totravel to Bolivia to pick the coffee. Forty-threeprogrammers are known to have died of boredom sitting attheir terminals while waiting for a SLOBOL program tocompile. Weary SLOBOL programmers often turn to a related(but infinitely faster) language, COCAINE.

- Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....

- Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)

- Spell chequers dew knot work write.

- Spellchecker not found. Press -- to continue ...

- Strike any user when ready.

- Sure it's user-friendly...if you know what you're doing.

- SYNTAX? Why not--they tax everything else!

- System error : press F13 to continue.

- System going down at 1:45 for disk crashing.

- System going down at 5 pm to install scheduler bug.

- The name is Baud......, James Baud.

- The UARTs won't take this speed, Captain

- The world is coming to an end... SAVE YOUR BUFFERS!!

- The world will end in 5 minutes. Please log out.

- "There is no reason for any individual to have a computer intheir home." -- Ken Olson, President of DEC, World FutureSociety Convention, 1977

- This message transmitted on 100% recycled electrons.

- This screen intentionally left blank.

- This tagline is SHAREWARE! To Register, send me $10.

- Those who can't write, write help files.

- To err is human; to really foul things up requires a computer.

- Toto, I don't think we're in DOS anymore...

- A UNIX saleslady, Lenore,Enjoys work, but she likes the beach more.

She found a good way To combine work and play:She sells C shells by the seashore.

- Where kan I fnid a spell chequer for taglines?


8/8

- WOMAN.ZIP: Great Shareware, but be careful of viruses...

- Who is General Failure and why is he reading my disk?

- YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOUT ! JUST TURN DOWN THE TONER VOLUME !

- You forgot to do your backup 16 days ago. Tomorrow you'llneed that version.

- You know it is going to be a bad day when you forget yournew password.

- You might have mail.

- You never finish a program, you just stop working on it.

- f u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgrmmng.

- No drive letter specified... Formatting all...

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