RELATIONAL AGGRESSION

What is Relational Aggression?

•Behavior that is intended to harm someone by damaging or manipulating his or her relationships with others (Crick & Grotpeter, 1995)

Statistics

• Girl bullying starts as early as preschool

• 25% of students say that an adult intervenes in bullying situations, while 71% of adults believe they always intervene

• 70% of girls have been mistreated by their friends

Roles

• The aggressor/bully• Sidekick

• The targeted victim

• Girls in the middle

• Sometimes, boy instigator

Aggressors• Also known as the

“queen bees”, the RMGs(Really Mean Girls), or the alpha girls

• Typically walk into a room with a small entourage and tell other girls where to sit

• Seem perfect, seem like they have the perfect life

The sidekick

• Second to the queen aggressor

• Later could become a victim

Girls in the Middle

• The pivotal and largest group

• The girls who might alternately be victims or aggressor, often choosing to be bullies because they do not want to be next

• Do not know the power they have

The Victim

• Most and least liked of group

• May be less likely “to go along to get along”

• Three “D’s”

Old vs. New

old• Gossip

• Dirty Looks

• Notes

New• Techno- Aggression

(cyber bullying)• E-mail• IMs• Faceboook• Chat Rooms

Cyber Bullying

• Girls are twice as likely as boys to be victims of cyber bullying.

• Planned in a group

• Entertainment

Short Term Effects

Victim• Lonliness

• Anxiety

• Low self-esteem

• depression

Bully & Victim• Depression

• Anxiety

• Eating disorders

• Poor academic performance

Long- Term Effects

• Adjustment problems• Relationships• Depression

• Suicide

Talking About the Conflict

•“I feel ______ when you _____ and I want _____”

Parent’s MODEL

• Model

• Observe

• Don’t Ignore

• Emphasize telling is not tattling

• Listen

Role Playing

• Assign groups of 4-5 people

• Group #1- act out a cyber bullying incident, then act out how it should of gone.

• Group #2- Act out a day in the cafeteria. One girl tells the other girl to get up and leave the table. Then, act out what should have happened.

• Group #3- Spread a rumor about someone in your group. Act out what you should do and your apology.

Discussion

• Do you think that bullying is a problem in this classroom or school?

• What are you going to do next time you see someone being bullied?

• Talk about your experience with bullying and how you overcame it.

ConclusionMost people think

that relational aggression is just a part of everyone’s lives and everyone goes through it, but

it’s not. It can be stopped. Be kind to

one another!