COMMUNICATION STRATEGIES
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Transcript of COMMUNICATION STRATEGIES
COMMUNICATION STRATEGIES
Learning Objectives• Identify common communication problems that
may be holding you back• Learn techniques to persuade and influence others• Develop skills in asking questions that give you
information you need• Learn what your non-verbal messages are telling
others• Enhance your ability to handle difficult situations
Group Exercise
• What is a good communicator?• Quotes
PERCEPTION & VALUES
Perception
• Experience, education, and culture all affect our perception.
• Turn to Page 8 in manual
Group Exercise
• What is the purpose of knowing your (or other people’s) personality?
OPTIONS AND PROCEDURE
Options people like thinking about the big picture
They enjoy knowledge for knowledge’s sake
Options People are abstract thinkers
They see patterns and think outside the “box”
Options people want to know the “big why”
They are bottom line driven, and believe things can be perfect
PROCEDURE PEOPLE
On the other hand…
Procedure people value specifics and fact based details
They are interested in how to do something, not why
Procedure people love cheat sheets and lists; they are note takers
They are practical and work well within a rule based system
Options and procedure personalitiesgravitate to particular occupations
In the United States, most people are Procedural
Different types of people perceive the world in different ways
You should be able to identify and communicate effectively with people that are different.
Personal Exercise: Audience Action Matrix
• Think of something you want someone to do, think, feel or buy. Write a brief script of that request to two different audiences.
• Draft- “OPTIONS” Audience: • Draft- “PROCEDURE” Audience: • Draft- “MIXED” Audience:
GET YOUR POINT ACROSS AT WORK
• Turn to page 17 in Manual
Use the STARR format to make a big impact in a short period of time
STARR: Situation, Task, Action, Results, and Recommendations
STARR: Situation, Task, Action, Results, and Recommendations
• This organizational strategy keeps you from leaving out important information. – Some speakers neglect to tell an audience what they
need to know. – Others forget to tell the audience what they want to
know. • Memorize it and use it for instant organization,
especially if someone puts you on the spot for a response.
STARR: Situation, Task, Action, Results, and Recommendations
• Turn to page 19 in Manual
EFFECTIVE LISTENING
The Appearance of Listening
• Turn to page 22 in Manual
Good body positioning increases our ability to listen and comprehend
Active Listening
Eye contact
BlendingQuestions
Paraphrasing
Blending (mirroring) body language can create rapport and trust
Paraphrasing is an active listening response that increases understanding of the content of the message
Paraphrasing
• To avoid defensiveness on the part of the speaker, it is important to stay as close as possible to the ideas expressed.
• It is also important to put the message into your own words to avoid sounding like you are mindlessly parroting back his/her statements.
Paraphrasing: sample opening statements
• It sounds like what you’re saying is… • Let me see if I understand you, what I’m
hearing is… • So what I hear you saying is…
Paraphrasing
• The exception is a very short paraphrase which simply provides a transition into further detail/clarification: – Statement: "I hate Mondays."
Transitional paraphrase: "You hate Mondays?"
Active Listening/Questioning
• Active listening questions are non-leading and non-judgmental
• At best, they are open-ended, suggesting areas for exploration without anticipating specific content of the speaker’s response.
Active listening questions fall into 5 experiential categories
Observation: "What happened?"
Meaning: "What do you mean?"
Affect: "How do you feel?"
Motive: "What do you want?"
Action: "What will you do?"
Active Listening
• Active Listening: Mind Tools• Active Listening: Taft College
Active Listening
• Turn to page 27 in Manual
BODY LANGUAGE WHILE SPEAKINGBest Practices
Body Language While Speaking
Body Language While Speaking
Body Language While Speaking
ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION
Assertive Communication
• How is being assertive different from being aggressive?
• What causes people to avoid being assertive? • Do you have trouble saying no, even when you
really should?• Do you feel like people walk all over you?• Do you have trouble keeping your temper
under control?
What is Assertiveness?
• Assertiveness is the ability to express your opinions, feelings, attitudes, and rights, without undue anxiety, in a way that does not infringe on the rights of others.
• It is not aggressiveness; it's a middle ground between being a bully and a doormat.
Four Types of
Assertion
Basic
Empathic
Escalating
I-Language
Basic Assertion
• A simple, straightforward expression of your beliefs, feelings, or opinions.– "I want" or "I feel" statement
Empathic Assertion
• This conveys some sensitivity to the other person. It usually contains two parts. – recognize the other person's situation or feelings– followed by a statement in which you stand up for
your rights• Example:– "I know you've really been busy, and I want to feel
that our relationship is important to you. I want you to make time for me and for us."
Escalating Assertion
• This occurs when the other person fails to respond to your basic assertion and continues to violate your rights.
• You gradually escalate the assertion and become increasingly firm.
• It may even include the mention of some type of resulting action on your part, made only after several basic assertive statements.
Escalating Assertion
• Example:– "If you don't complete the work on my car by 5:00
tomorrow, I'll be forced to call the Better Business Bureau."
I-Language Assertion
• This is especially useful for expressing negative feelings. It involves a 3-part statement:1. When you do…• (describe the behavior)
2. The effects are …• (describe how the behavior concretely affects you)
3. I'd prefer…• (describe what you want)
It helps you constructively focus anger and be clear about your own feelings
I-Language Assertion
• Example: – “When you didn't buy the groceries like you said
you would, I couldn't cook the dinner for my parents. I feel hurt and angry with you. Next time, I'd like you to follow through when you agree to do something like that."
There are three parts of each assertive statementTurn to page 36-37 in Manual
1. Empathy and/or validation
2. Statement of problem
3. Statement of what you want
Self Exercise: Assertive Communication Script
1. empathy/validation:
2. statement of problem:
3. statement of what you want:
SAMPLE ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION
How to be effectively assertiveUse assertive body language
Use “I” statements
Use facts, not judgments
Express ownership of your thoughts, feelings & opinions
Make clear, direct requests
How to be effectively assertive
Use assertive body language
•Face the other person•stand or sit straight•don't use dismissive gestures•be sure you have a pleasant, but serious facial expression•keep your voice calm and soft, not whiney or abrasive.
How to be effectively assertive
Use “I” statements
•Keep the focus on the problem you're having, not on accusing or blaming the other person.• Example: "I'd like to be able to tell my stories
without interruption." instead of "You're always interrupting my stories!"
How to be effectively assertive
Use Facts not Judgments
•Example: "Your punctuation needs work and your formatting is inconsistent" instead of "This is sloppy work." •or "Did you know that shirt has some spots?" instead of "You're not going out looking like THAT, are you?"
How to be effectively assertive
Express ownership of your thoughts, feeling, and opinions
•Example: "I get angry when he breaks his promises." instead of "He makes me angry."
How to be effectively assertive
Make clear, direct, requests
•Don't invite the person to say no. •Example: "Will you please ... ?" instead of
"Would you mind … ?" or "Why don't you … ?"
Group Exercise
• Practice your assertive communication technique with a partner
COMMUNICATING REGRET
“I’m sorry” has a special place in our culture, we want to hear it and believe it
People want to know that you understand how you affected themPeople will tell you less how you made them feel or how your actions affected them if they recognize that you understand
We all want to believe it will be different next timeAn expectation that the event won’t be repeated creates safety and allows them to let the issue go
The Apology Model helps us do it right the first time
The Apology Model
Self Exercise: Communicating Regret
• Turn to pages 46-47 in Manual
CONFLICT RESOLUTION
• 1. Think of a few people who do little things that bother you. List 2 things they do.
• 2. What keeps you from talking to people about the little things they do that bother you?
• 3. What do you do when you need to bring up a problem but don’t want to make a big deal out of it?
Competitive Language
Collaborative Language
Yes, but… Yes, and…
But AndHowever(.)
Why did you do that? How did you come up with that as an option?
You, Me, I Us, We, Our Whatever… Help me understand….
Everyone has little things that they’d like to bring up and they don’t
Often, identifying a problem behavior or action, and describing its consequences is often enough to bring about resolution
We need a tool to address small problems before they get out of hand
• It is also important to sound authentic; you should use speech patterns that seem natural, and not like forced “workshop talk.”
• Studies have shown that if you begin a sentence with the person’s name, they pay attention.
Personal Exercise: Addressing Small Problems
• Apply the tool to plan your direct statement to the co-worker who does things that bother you.
• 1. What do you want to have happen as a result of your message?
• 2. Are you assuming any intentions? What could they be?
• 3. What are the actions that you will focus on?
• “_____________when you________________________, I feel ______________.”• Name non-judgmental description of behavior/actions feeling concern
NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING
Neuro-Linguistic Programming • While the name is awkward—and some object to the word “programming"—it is
nonetheless descriptive.
• Neuro refers to the brain and neural pathways of the human organism through which our experience is processed via our five senses (visual, auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory, and gustatory).
• Linguistic is about the content that moves across and along these pathways. It is about the language and nonverbal communication systems through which our neural representations are coded, ordered, and given meaning. These include: pictures, sounds, feelings, tastes, smells, and words.
• Programming is the way the content is directed, sequenced, and connected by each of us to produce the thinking patterns and behaviors that are our experience of life. Training in NLP provides the ability to discover, utilize, and change these programs to assist us to have new experiences in life that are more satisfying, fulfilling, and enjoyable.
Neuro-Linguistic Programming
• Think of it as being like a railroad system. • The Neuro part of NLP is like the tracks.• Linguistic is the engines and cars.• Programming is how the switches are set.• How the switches are set determines where the engines
and cars go. With the switches set a particular way, the train can only follow a particular path that is determined by how those switches are set.
• In this analogy, then, the objective of NLP is to assist you to change how your switches are set.
Neuro-Linguistic Programming • Neuro-Linguistic Programming was developed in the early-to-middle
1970's at the University of Santa Cruz by John Grinder and Richard Bandler.
• Like many others, they had observed that people with similar education, training, background, and years of experience were achieving widely varying results ranging from wonderful to mediocre.
• Bandler and Grinder were intrigued by these differences. They wanted to know how effective people perform and accomplish things. They were especially interested in the possibility of being able to duplicate the behavior, and therefore the competence, of these highly effective individuals. In short, they set out to "model" human excellence in such fields as education, business, and therapy. What emerged from their work came to be called Neuro-Linguistic Programming.
We use different parts of our brains for different tasks
We tend to look in the direction that our brains are working.
Watch someone while you’re talking to them; you can tell how they think
What do you think they are thinking?
NLP Thinking Map
Visually Creative Thinking
(Upper Right)
Remembering Something Visually
(Upper Left)
Words / Auditory Construction Thinking
(Center Right)
Remembering Words or Sounds
(Center Left)
Feeling / Sensing / Body Thinking (Lower Right)
Having an “Internal” Conversation with
Yourself (Lower Left)
NLP Thinking Map
Visually Creative Thinking
(Upper Right)
Remembering Something Visually
(Upper Left)
Words / Auditory Construction Thinking
(Center Right)
Remembering Words or Sounds
(Center Left)
Feeling / Sensing / Body Thinking (Lower Right)
Having an “Internal” Conversation with
Yourself (Lower Left)
If you asked someone to: Imagine a purple buffalo.Their eyes move up and to the right while thinking about the question.They "Visually Construct" a purple buffalo in their mind.
If you asked someone: What was the color of the first house you lived in?Their eyes move up and to the left while thinking about the question.They "Visually Remember" the color of their childhood home.
If you asked someone to: Try and create the highest sounding pitch possible in your head.Their eyes move to the right while thinking about the question.They "Auditorily Construct" a sound that they have never heard of.
If you asked someone to: Remember what your mother's voice sounds like.Their eyes move to the left while thinking about the question.They "Auditorily Remember” this sound.
If you asked someone: Can you remember the smell of a campfire?Their eyes move down and to the right while thinking about the question.They recalled a smell, feeling, or taste.
We look down and to the left when we’re talking to ourselves
COMMUNICATING APPRECIATION
“At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.”
~Albert Schweitzer
Appreciation is the one most potent, yet overlooked way to empower people
The beauty of appreciation is that we can give it to anyone we choose, and it costs nothing except few moments
Giving Sincere Praise & Recognition Worksheet
• Turn to pages 64-67 in Manual
ACTION PLAN
Thank You