CommunicationCommunication

Presented by:Presented by:

Prof. John BarkaiProf. John BarkaiWilliam S. Richardson School of LawWilliam S. Richardson School of Law

University of HawaiiUniversity of Hawaii

Teaching Negotiation and ADR:

The Savvy Samurai Meets the Devil

75 Neb. L. Rev. 704 (1996)

GETTING TO YES

Separate People from Problem

Interests not Positions

Invent Options

Objective Criteria

BATNA http://mediationadvocacy.com/Getting%20to%20Yes.pdf

BATNA Best

AlternativeTo a

Negotiated Agreement

YOUR BATNA TELLS YOU

WHEN TO WALKWHEN TO WALK

NOT WHEN TO SIGN

Tolanski Curve Illusion

Two Key Ideas about Negotiation

& ADR

1) Focus on Interests

not positions

2) Improve theCommunication(information & temperature)

Chinese - 利益

Indonesian / Malay – kepentingan

Korean - 욕구 '

Thai-  ผลประโยชน์ - Phon Pra Yot

Vietnamese - lợi ích

Khmer - (Cambodia)

Words for “Interests”

Japanese - 興味 きょうみ (kyomi) emotional

関心 かんしん (Kanshin) reasonable

India

Words for “Interests”

THE BASIC COMMUNICATION THE BASIC COMMUNICATION LOOPLOOP

CODE DECODE

CODEDECODE

LISTENER

LISTENER

SPEAKER

SPEAKER

Miscommunication

Ha ha ha, Biff. Guess what? After we go the the drugstoreand the post office, I’m going to the vet’s to get tutored.

Miscommunication

Bear! Bear!

“Keep in mind that

you’re more interested in

what you have to say

than anyone else is.” 

- Andy Rooney

The Communication Samurai

What do you think is one ofthe most important issues facing

your country in the next 10 years?

Japanese

JapaneseKorean

MandarinBahasa Indonesian

TagalogThai

VietnameseArabic

RussianChamorro

Kampampgangan

Can you add others?

What do you think is one ofthe most important issues facing

your country in the next 10 years?

What do you think is one ofthe most important issues facing

your country in the next 10 years?

French

 

  

 Speaker

(Instructor)

 Active Listener

(Student)

 Speaker

Continues

  

 Comments

 1

 I had a terrible day today.

 What I hear you saying is you had a terrible day today.

 Yeah, that's what I said. Are you feeling OK today?

  

 Classic active listening.Uses introductory phrase. Repeats exact words.

 2

 I had a terrible day today.

 ... a terrible day?

 Yeah, nothing went right, and then there was that thing with my boss.

  

 Skips introductory phrase. Repeats a few of the exact words.

 3

 The boss screamed at me about some assignment.

 ... blamed by the boss?   

 Yeah, he was going on and on about it.

  

 Paraphrased, but still not a complete sentence.

 4

 He was being unfair. I didn't even know what he was talking about.

 ... unfairly blaming you?

 No, actually it did turn out to be my fault. But he shouldn't have acted like that with my co-workers around.

  

 Speaker corrects inaccurate active listener.

 5

 How do you think you would feel if that happened to you?

 ... you are very disturbed about this.

 Of course I am. No one should have to go through something like that.

  

 Active listening used instead of answering the question.

 6

 [if they go on and on and on and on and on]

 Wait a minute! Let me see if I understand you correctly.

  

  

 Active listening is used to interrupt without offending.

Speaker Listener Technique

1. What do you think is one of the most important skills for negotiators?

Open-endedQuestion

2. Ah, I'd say communication skills. 3. Tell me more about that. Open-ended,Follow-up Question

4. Sure. Negotiators need to be able to collect information and to persuade people. Of course they need to communicate to do that.

5. What do you mean by "collect information?"

Clarifying

6. Negotiators need to learn information from other people. So negotiators "collect" this information by asking appropriate questions and using other communication techniques.

7. Humm, hum. Passive Listening

8. After they have collected the information they then use it in some way.

9. Can you be more specific? Narrowing

10. Sure. When negotiators learn about the other side's interest, they can use that information during the negotiation.

11. That's helpful, keep going. Facilitator

12. They use techniques like open-ended questions, follow-up questions, clarifying questions, and active listening.

13. How so? Open-ended

14. They use these techniques to gather information from their opponent.

15. They collect the information by using these techniques?

SummarizationActive Listening

16. Yes, the good communicators collect the information which is an important foundation for the negotiation.

17. How do you feel about that? Open-ended QuestionProbe for Feelings

18. I think it is one of the most important things that negotiators do, and unfortunately, many negotiators neglect these skills.

19. So you think communication is important, but many negotiators neglect it?

SummarizationActive Listening

20. Right. Negotiators should realize that good communication techniques can help them to be successful, and they should pay attention to, and practice good communication techniques.

21. Thanks. You have helped me to better understand your views about communication. And, I hope I have helped you demonstrate some of the techniques that you have talked about.

Communication Techniques

Framinginfluence or

be influenced

© Victoria Pynchon ‘07

62

framing

© Victoria Pynchon ‘07

63

a means of influencing another’s

perception by narrowing the

ways in which an item or an idea

can be characterized

what if you had to measure the size of something by using two frames?

what if you could only use one?

© Victoria Pynchon ‘07

REFRAMING

restating another person's statement

to make it

less provocative and more productive.

REFRAMING

Is the glass half full or half empty?

"It all depends on how you look at it."- Tom Sawyer

You say, “Off with her head,” but what I’m hearing is, “I feel neglected”

“I am beginning to think I upset you with the Barkai Chorus. Can you tell me more about that?”

Jason Nicholas

REFRAMINGNegative Statement Reframed

She talks too much She's so friendly and puts everyone at ease.

He argues so much He has such strong convictions

She thinks she knows it all

He is so conceited

She too easygoing

He's so stingy

She spends too much money

He's too rigid

She can never sit still

She's too emotional

“No problem. Just flip and reframe the other two.”

Radio conversation Chief of Naval Operations

#1: #1: Please divert your course 15 degrees to Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.the North to avoid a collision.

#2: #2: Recommend you divert YOUR course Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to South to avoid a collision.15 degrees to South to avoid a collision.

#1: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. #1: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.I say again, divert YOUR course.

#2: No. I say again, you divert YOUR #2: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.course.

Radio conversation Chief of Naval Operations

#1: This is the aircraft carrier Enterprise. We #1: This is the aircraft carrier Enterprise. We are a large warship of the U.S. Navy. Ware a large warship of the U.S. Navy. We e are accompanied by three destroyers, three are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and numerous support vessels. I cruisers and numerous support vessels. I demand that you change your course 15 demand that you change your course 15 degrees north, or countermeasures will be degrees north, or countermeasures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship. Divert your course now!Divert your course now!

Radio conversation Chief of Naval Operations

#2#2 This is a lighthouse. Your call.This is a lighthouse. Your call.

Say the color, don’t read the word

I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in what Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in what oredr the ltteers in a word are, the olny oredr the ltteers in a word are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that the first and last iprmoatnt tihng is that the first and last ltteer be in the rgh it pclae. The rset can ltteer be in the rgh it pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it be a taotl mses and you can still raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

55%

“body language”

38%

“tone of voice”

7%

“the words”

The Importance of Non-verbal Communication

What Forms First ImpressionsAlbert Marabian- UCLA

Often stated as …………

93% of the meaning comes from

non-verbal communication and not the words.

However, that is NOT CORRECT

55%

“body language”

38%

“tone of voice”

7%

“the words”

The communication of feelings and attitudes (i.e., like-dislike)

Albert Marabian- UCLA

E.g. Thanks a lot. That’s just great.

A major limitation about NVC

On his website Albert Mehrabian specifically states:

“Please note that this and other equations regarding relative importance of verbal and nonverbal messages were derived from experiments dealing with communications of feelings and attitudes (i.e., like-dislike). Unless a communicator is talking about their feelings or attitudes, these equations are not applicable.”

Woman without her man is nothing

Womanwithout her man

is nothing

Woman,without her,

man is nothing

Who's on first?

Hu’s on First?