Communication jesus cares
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Transcript of Communication jesus cares
By: Herald C. Cruz
Effective Communication With Your Child
This is My Family
Today’s communication technology
And still, so much MISCOMMUNICATION prevails!
People who truly love each other
cannot understand each other.
Just Imagine…
The family can be…
the greatest source of JOY
and…
the greatest source of STRESS
What does a family with healthy communication
Look like?
Discussion:
“Parent-child closeness is associated with reduced adolescent pregnancy risk through teens remaining sexually abstinent, postponing intercourse, having fewer sexual partners, and using contraception more consistently “
Miller, B. C., Benson, B., & Galbraith, K. A. (2001). Family relationships and adolescent pregnancy risk: A research synthesis. Developmental Review, 21, 1–38.
COMMUNICATIO
N
MATTERS
I. Family Communication: Nurture and Control
II. Communicating Your Love: The Five Love Languages
III. Common Mistakes in Family Communication
IV. Tips for Effective Communication
Outline:
(Family Communication: Nurturing and Control in a Changing World by Beth A. Le Poire)
I. Family Communication: Nurture and Control
We all play a variety of roles in our lives
Parenting Role #1: NurtureNurturing RolesProvidersNurturersHealth Care Providers, etc
Parenting role #2: ControlControlling RolesBehavior control
Decision making
Family boundary maintenance
Financial Organization
Nurture and Control Quadrants
Nurturing Communication
Controlling Communication
Nurture and Control Quadrants
II. Communicating Your Love: The Five Love
Languages
Love Tank = Emotional Bank Acct
Deposits & WithdrawalsTheory: 5 deposits = 1 withdrawalPrimary Language
“Thanks for helping me.”“Ang galing mo!”“Great job!.”“Okay ka talaga anak.”
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Gifts
4. Quality Time
5. Physical Touch (lambing)
30 Second Self-Assessment1. I feel especially loved when people express how
grateful they are for me, and for the simple, everyday things I do (Words of Affirmation)
2. I feel especially loved when a person gives me undivided attention and spends time alone with me (Quality Time)
3. I feel especially loved by someone who brings me gifts and other tangible expressions of love (Gifts)
4. I feel especially loved when someone pitches in to help me by running errands or taking on my household chores (Acts of Service)
5. I feel especially loved when a person expresses feelings for me through “lambing” (Physical Touch)
How to spot your child’s love language
1. Observe how your child expresses love to you.2. Observe how your child expresses love to others.3. Listen to what your child requests most often.4. Listen to your child’s most frequent complaints.5. Give your child a choice between two
options.
I. Family Communication: Nurture and Control
II. Communicating Your Love: The Five Love Languages
III. Common Mistakes in Family Communication
IV. Tips for Effective Communication
Outline:
III. Common Mistakes in Communication
1. Not seeing the whole picture
7% - Words
38% - Tone
55% - Body language
38% + 55% = 93% Non-verbal!
http://lifecoachesblog.com/2006/03/13/words-are-only-7-of-your-communication/
Communication is…
Samples of non-verbal communication
What feeling does this boy communicate?
2. Wrong Assumptions
ACCUSING/ BLAMING/PUT DOWNS withdrawal
EFFECTS
THREATENING
SARCASM/RIDICULE
LABELING
NAGGING/YELLING/ LECTURING
BRIBING
SHAMING/ HUMILIATING
child will not believe if you don’t follow through
stifle communication
makes label part of his self-image
parent-deaf
child is only after the reward
sense of self-worth is shattered
3. Having negative communication patterns
IV. Tips for Effective Communication
Know how to listen with your heart
Tip #1. EMPATHIZE
Goal: Learning to focus on one’s feelings versus on the fault the other
Tip #2. USE THE "I" VS. THE "YOU" MESSAGE
“You” Message• Blames or accuses child
• Conveys criticism
• Complains about total character of child
“You” – Message
“Wala ka nang magawang tama!!!!”
Non-BlamingDescribes the child’s behavior that interferes with you
Expresses how you feel about the behavior/or what you want to happen
“I” - Message
How to construct an I-MESSAGE
1.Describe the behavior.
“When you….”
2. State your feelings about the consequence of the behavior.
“…I feel…”
3. State the reason. “…because….”
STOP what you are doingLOOK them in the eyes
LISTEN attentively
Tip #3. ACTIVELY LISTEN
Actively listening through an “Open response”
acknowledge feelings
accept & understand
encouraged to say more
OPEN RESPONSE CLOSED RESPONSE
deny set aside feelings
unwilling to accept
belittled, rejectedwill not speak again
A little exercise...
I’ll never play with her again!
Forget it! She didn’t mean it, anyway.
You’re really angry with her, huh?
I can’t get my homework!
Stop complaining and just do it!
It seems very difficult for you at the moment.
Good communication takes a LOT of effort, but it can make or break our relationships
CONCLUSION
COMMUNICATION MATTERS
Open Forum