COMMUNICATIONCOMMUNICATION

DefinitionDefinition

The sharing of The sharing of thoughtsthoughts, , feelingsfeelings and and informationinformation with others. with others.

Good communication Good communication requires you to:requires you to:

1. Have a clear goal and express it 1. Have a clear goal and express it effectively.effectively.

2. Be aware of your emotions and 2. Be aware of your emotions and your body language.your body language.

3. Be a good listener, reflect back 3. Be a good listener, reflect back what you heard.what you heard.

4. Know how and when to 4. Know how and when to compromise.compromise.

What forms does it take?What forms does it take?

Non-verbalNon-verbal – body language – body language (Kinesics)(Kinesics)

VerbalVerbal – spoken words – spoken words

WrittenWritten – letters, e-mails, – letters, e-mails, newspapers, etc.newspapers, etc.

KinesicsKinesics

The science of body languageThe science of body language

A way of communicating mood, A way of communicating mood, attitude, or information through body attitude, or information through body movements, posture, gestures and movements, posture, gestures and

facial expressionsfacial expressions

ActivityActivityBody Language MatchBody Language Match

Groups of 2Groups of 2

Cards on the table in 2 groups - Cards on the table in 2 groups - pictures and wordspictures and words

Take turns matching cards, 1 picture Take turns matching cards, 1 picture and 1 word at a timeand 1 word at a time

ReviewReviewWhat does their body language What does their body language

indicate?indicate?

Your sister, head lowered, shoulders slumped, drags Your sister, head lowered, shoulders slumped, drags herself off the basketball court after her team’s herself off the basketball court after her team’s

last-second defeat in the playoffs.last-second defeat in the playoffs.

Your mother quickly glares in your direction, Your mother quickly glares in your direction, wrinkles her forehead, and frowns when you tell wrinkles her forehead, and frowns when you tell

an inappropriate joke at a family gathering. an inappropriate joke at a family gathering.

While talking to a friend, he looks around, shifts his While talking to a friend, he looks around, shifts his position constantly, and taps his fingers.position constantly, and taps his fingers.

What skills are needed?What skills are needed?

Effective communication requires theEffective communication requires the

following skills:following skills:

-- ObservingObserving for body language for body language

-- Expressing Expressing yourself clearly when yourself clearly when

writing and speakingwriting and speaking

-- ListeningListening intently to others intently to others

Communication StylesCommunication Styles

PassivePassive – Accepting or submitting without objection or – Accepting or submitting without objection or resistance;resistance;

submissivesubmissive

AggressiveAggressive – Intense or harsh; behaving in an actively hostile – Intense or harsh; behaving in an actively hostile fashionfashion

AssertiveAssertive – Bold, firm or confident assertion – Bold, firm or confident assertion

ACTIVITIESACTIVITIESResponse Styles – handoutResponse Styles – handout

Passive, Aggressive, AssertivePassive, Aggressive, Assertive

Are You an Effective Communicator?Are You an Effective Communicator?

ACTIVITYACTIVITYCLASS PICTIONARYCLASS PICTIONARY

Groups will work together to guess what the picture Groups will work together to guess what the picture is that their group member is drawing.is that their group member is drawing.

The first group to correctly guess what the picture is The first group to correctly guess what the picture is wins a point for that round.wins a point for that round.

Each group member will have a turn to draw a Each group member will have a turn to draw a picturepicture

““I” StatementsI” StatementsA statement of your feelings that does not blame or judge another A statement of your feelings that does not blame or judge another

person.person.

The word “you” puts people on the defensive and causes them to The word “you” puts people on the defensive and causes them to tune out.tune out.

ExamplesExamples::- YouYou need to stop yelling, need to stop yelling, youyou are out of control. are out of control.

- It makes It makes meme angry when people speak to me that way. angry when people speak to me that way.

- YouYou should have invited everyone in the class, should have invited everyone in the class, youyou aren’t very aren’t very thoughtful.thoughtful.- II would feel better if would feel better if wewe invited the whole class to the party. invited the whole class to the party.

- YouYou always leave me out! always leave me out!- It upsets It upsets meme when I am left out of the group. when I am left out of the group.

ActivityActivity““I” Statements handoutI” Statements handout

““I” StatementsI” Statements

ActivityActivity

“I” statements handout

Communication Do’s Communication Do’s

LISTENLISTEN

LOOK THE PERSON IN THE EYESLOOK THE PERSON IN THE EYES

ASK QUESTIONSASK QUESTIONS

HEAR A PERSON OUTHEAR A PERSON OUT

RESIST DISTRACTIONSRESIST DISTRACTIONS

BE OPEN-MINDEDBE OPEN-MINDED

USE “I” STATEMENTSUSE “I” STATEMENTS

Barriers to good Barriers to good communicationcommunication

Unclear explanationsUnclear explanations

Conflicting messagesConflicting messages

Not listeningNot listening

InterruptingInterrupting

Blaming or yellingBlaming or yelling

Assuming you Assuming you understandunderstand

Bringing up the pastBringing up the past

Using guilt tripsUsing guilt trips

Using profane languageUsing profane language

Giving unwanted adviceGiving unwanted advice

Mocking or ridiculing Mocking or ridiculing another personanother person

Using violenceUsing violence

ActivityActivityClass CharadesClass Charades

Two groupsTwo groups

On my signal 1 person picks up a card and acts out the On my signal 1 person picks up a card and acts out the message written on it without talking or writing.message written on it without talking or writing.

Group members call out their guesses until the message is Group members call out their guesses until the message is correctly guessed. correctly guessed.

Once the message is correctly guessed, the next player Once the message is correctly guessed, the next player picks up a card and begins acting.picks up a card and begins acting.

Continue playing until one team guesses all of the cards. Continue playing until one team guesses all of the cards. The first team to do this is the winner.The first team to do this is the winner.

Why were some messages harder than others to convey Why were some messages harder than others to convey without using words? without using words?

ActivityActivityTanksTanks

Strong speaking and listening skills are Strong speaking and listening skills are essential for good communication!essential for good communication!

When could not understanding or not When could not understanding or not giving clear directions be dangerous giving clear directions be dangerous

or cause a problem?or cause a problem?

Refusal SkillsRefusal Skills

NONO means means NONO, not yes or maybe, not yes or maybe

How to say NO:How to say NO:

Decide how you feel ahead of timeDecide how you feel ahead of time so you won’t be caught so you won’t be caught off guard. This will give you confidence and control over your off guard. This will give you confidence and control over your choices.choices.

Be friendly, but firmBe friendly, but firm. Repeat what your friend said (You want . Repeat what your friend said (You want me to cut school and drink all day?)me to cut school and drink all day?)

Be honestBe honest. Don’t’ lie or you may be forced to make up more . Don’t’ lie or you may be forced to make up more lies to cover the first one. Simply state the truth. (I really don’t lies to cover the first one. Simply state the truth. (I really don’t want to do that).want to do that).

Speak only for yourselfSpeak only for yourself. You’re not responsible for everyone . You’re not responsible for everyone else’s actions. Speak only about how you feel. Use “I” else’s actions. Speak only about how you feel. Use “I” statements.statements.

No means NO! (continued)No means NO! (continued) Suggest an alternativeSuggest an alternative. (Let’s plan to go to the movies . (Let’s plan to go to the movies

this weekend instead)this weekend instead)

Separate the activity from the personSeparate the activity from the person. Let them . Let them know you care about them, but you do not wish to do know you care about them, but you do not wish to do what they want. (You’re a close friend, but I don’t feel what they want. (You’re a close friend, but I don’t feel comfortable drinking and cutting school).comfortable drinking and cutting school).

Discuss the possible consequencesDiscuss the possible consequences. (If I were to get . (If I were to get caught drinking, I’d be grounded and it’s not worth it.caught drinking, I’d be grounded and it’s not worth it.

If the person persists, walk away from the If the person persists, walk away from the situationsituation. Suggest that they join you in something else. . Suggest that they join you in something else. (I’m going to school now. I’ll be at the usual table at (I’m going to school now. I’ll be at the usual table at lunch, and I hope you’ll meet me there.)lunch, and I hope you’ll meet me there.)

Be prepared to accept the fact that you may be Be prepared to accept the fact that you may be rejected anywayrejected anyway..

One-Way CommunicationOne-Way Communication

One way communication allows for noOne way communication allows for no

questions or clarification and involves questions or clarification and involves onlyonly

one person speaking.one person speaking.

ActivityActivity

One-Way Communication Picture One-Way Communication Picture CardsCards

TESTTEST

All questions on the test will be taken All questions on the test will be taken from your Communication/Resistance from your Communication/Resistance

Skills Unit notes and handouts.Skills Unit notes and handouts.