Communicating with Emotional Intelligence. Communication for Course Coordinators Learning Outcomes...
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Transcript of Communicating with Emotional Intelligence. Communication for Course Coordinators Learning Outcomes...
Communication for Course Coordinators
• Learning Outcomes– Develop strategies to monitor self talk and its
influence on personal performance– Use a range of processes to reframe and manage
interpersonal conflict– Recognise key communication competencies for
leadership
• Integrated Competing Values Framework– Mentor, Facilitator and Broker
A Communication Model
Source Encoding Channel Decoding ReceiverMessage Message Message Message
Feedback
FUNCTIONS
Inform Control Motivate Express Emotions
Emotional Intelligence (Goleman, 1995)
– knowing your emotions – recognising feelings– managing your emotions – ability to shake off
anger, anxiety and gloom– Motivating yourself – marshalling emotions for
outside good – delaying gratification, impulsiveness
– recognising emotions in others - empathy– handling relationships – skill in interpersonal skills
such as conflict management, active listening.
The Open Loop of Emotions
• ‘interpersonal limbic regulation’
AndyAmy
Pre-frontal Cortex
Climate
• Hay Group study on 4000 executives linked EI leadership styles to climate
Climate
Leadershipstyle
Organisationalperformance
Primal leadership styles
• Resonant Leadership (positive r)– Visionary (.54): set clear directions and goals– Coaching (.46): help others to succeed, support– Affiliative (.43): build emotional bonds in the team– Democratic (.42): involve others in decisions that affect them
• Dissonant Leadership (negative r)– Pacesetting (-.25): push for achieving higher targets– Commanding (- .26): use power through coercion/authority
Email (Resonant or Dissonant)
Staff…..
As per correspondence received from Linda Kristjanson (reproduced below) it is time for the Division to begin coordinating the RQF process by identifying eligible and assessable RQF researchers.
Check the eligibiilty criteria listed below and advise your Head of School if you are eligible.
The timelines are tight so move on this ASAP. Once we have a list of eligible researchers we need to then check that the necessary data is in SCRIPT and that the best four requirements forevidence have been fulfilled.
Questions? Direct them to Mary Smith by email
Regards
Tom Jones
Email (Resonant or Dissonant)
Dear Colleagues,I don’t like to burden you with details about SCRIPT and RQF but
we’re approaching some important deadlines that will affect our input into the RQF, which in turn has funding implications for the university.
By early December we need to have our SCRIPT research publications lists complete and have nominated our four best publications. Tom and Mary are working at updating the publications records for staff and are very helpful with the details of SCRIPT. However we need your help. ….
I’m not a SCRIPT data base guru but I’m happy to answer any questions about what the process is and why it matters. Please contact me if you have any queries.
Best wishes,Jane
Self –Talk / Mindfulness
• Self-talk is a concept which can be understood and developed so that an individual can become more competent by identifying negative thoughts and replacing them with positive self talk (Tice, 1995) which in turn, has a positive impact on their manner in communication.
Self –Talk Exercise
“I have had a great many troubles in my life, and most never happened.” Mark Twain.
Catching Faulty Thinking (Ellis, 1995)
• Exaggeration• Overgeneralisation• Shoulds/Musts• Having to Be Right• Catastrophizing• Awfulizing• Self-blaming• Mind-Reading• Fallacy of Fairness
Fuels ThinkingAnd ResultantCommunication
The A - F Model for Challenging Beliefs(Zeus and Skiffington, 2002:187)
• A Activating event or situation: giving a presentation in front of colleagues
• B Self limiting belief: I must perform exceptionally well or my colleagues will think I am stupid – (self blaming, exaggeration, catastrophizing)
• C Consequences of this belief (emotional or behavioral): anxiety, poor • concentration, defensiveness
• D Disputing the self-limiting belief(s) have I never given a good presentation? Are all presentations perfect? Will people really laugh at me if I make a mistake? How have I reacted to other peoples presentations?
• E Effective new beliefs: There is no evidence that my colleagues think or will think I am stupid if I do not perform exceptionally well. I have given great
presentations before. I have received positive feedback from peers in the past.
• F New feelings: More confident, able to approach the presentation as a challenge rather than an ordeal.
optimal level of conflict
high
low
Gro
up p
erf
orm
ance
low Conflict high
Effects of conflict on group performance
Managing Conflict
Sources of Conflict in the Workplace
Work Overload***Work UnderloadConflicting Demands***Responsibility without Control***Win-lose situations***
With-holds
• Are negative feelings we have towards others that inhibit our free expression (with-hold)
• There are costs and benefits associated with a with hold
• The more this with-hold is applied, the more negative experience escalates and takes control of your energy – because of avoidance
With-hold Exercise
• Identify a person with whom you have a 'with-hold‘: you can keep this confidential….
• Discuss with your partner the nature of the 'with-hold‘: you don’t have to mention who it is with…..
• What benefits do you receive by not addressing the 'with-hold' with the other person?
• What costs are there associated with not addressing the 'with-hold' with the other person?
• Write a statement that would allow you to express your 'with-hold'.
• What is the result you expect/hope to achieve from taking action?
As an assertive person you can:
Initiate, maintain & terminate a conversation
Refuse unreasonable requests
Handle criticism
Express negative feelings
Stand up for yourself
Express positive feelings
Ask for clarification or make requests
Express active disagreement
Avoid justifying every opinion
Being assertive when addressing a with-hold
“I vs. You”
Aggressive
Assertive
Passive
Addressing the With-Hold Active Listening
• Make an effort to listen• Make eye contact• Show interest, open body posture• Avoid distracting actions• Take in whole picture• Ask Questions, without judgement• Reflect. paraphrase, summarise• Don’t interrupt• Don’t talk over the other person• Test bias – evaluate the message• Be natural
Non-Verbal Messages
Actions speak louder than words– 7 % of what we hear– 38% tone of voice (paralanguage)– 58% body language
Calibration and Synchronization CategoriesCalming “Amy or Andy”
• Territorial Position – where/what space?• Body Language
– Posture (how do they sit/balance)– Mobility– Gestures– Breathing– Facial expression– Muscular tension– Mouth – lower lip– Eye
• Tonality• Values and how their expressed• Contextual Elements