Coaching Toolkit

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Coaching Thoughts and Models For the Development of a Coaching Practice

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My toolkit

Transcript of Coaching Toolkit

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Coaching

Thoughts and Models For the Development of a Coaching Practice

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1. Introduction

(Framework)

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1.1 Coaching – A Definition

A conversation that inspires and equip someone to create a

life/career/circumstances that will have purpose and meaning for them.

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1.2 The Three Pilars of Coaching

Direction and Meaning

Sustainable Ecology Disciplined Implementation

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1.3 Unpacking The Three Pillars

Clarity Purpose and Vision Direction and Meaning+ =

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1.3 Unpacking The Three Pillars

Focused Planning Pacing Action Disciplined Implementation

+ =

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1.3 Unpacking The Three Pillars

Life Long Learning Relationships and Support Sustainable Ecology+ =

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2. Competencies

(The Competencies a Coach Transfers In the Helping Relationship)

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PROCESS ELEMENT FOCUS AREA COMPETENCY COMPETENCY DESCRIPTION

Direction and Meaning

Clarity Mindful LivingPracticing mindful interaction, eating, exercising, thinking

Purpose and Vision

VisioningDevelop desired

outcomes for life, work and relationships

Vales Alignment Align desired values with values in action

SMART Goal SettingSetting achievable outcomes that are

aligned with personal ecology

Disciplined Implementation

Focused Planning

De-cluttering Conducting a total mind and life sweep

Planning Categorising, scheduling projects and actions

Reference And Review System

(For Tenacious Implementation)

Pacing ActionSystematically executing

action steps and recording outcomes

Reflecting While Doing

Setting up an independent review system and taking

corrective action while implementing

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PROCESS STEP FOCUS AREA COMPETENCY COMPETENCY DESCRIPTION

Sustainable Ecology

Relationships

Self-AwarenessHave a healthy awareness

of self, perceptual framework, ability, and

impact on others

Emotional And Social Intelligence

Establishing and maintaining meaningful

relations through balanced interaction,

positive expectations and actions

Positive InfluenceInfluencing people and

situations towards win -win outcomes

Positive Outcome Expectations

Maintaining a set of beliefs that outcomes can be positive - moving away

from leant helplessness

Professional And Personal Relationship Building

Systematically establishing relationships that will

support life purpose and direction

Learning And Growing

Life Long Learning Orientation

Identifying and implementing learning

and growth interventions that will support

attainment of purpose and direction

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3. Interventions

(Implementing the Roadmap – Tools, Tips and Techniques)

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Description Icon

Relevant quote

Concept/Framework

Tools, Techniques

Template

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The Global Roadmap

1Start with the end in

mind –Purpose and

Meaning

2Prepare the

environment – Sustainable

Ecology

3Getting there –

Disciplined Implementation

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Meaning and DirectionI. Gaining clarityII. VisioningIII. Values alignmentIV. Goal Setting

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3.1 Gaining Clarity

(Implementing the Roadmap – Tools, Tips and Techniques)

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“ Let Silence do the Heavy Lifting”

Susan Scott

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Mindfulness is paying attention to your life, here and now, with

kindness and curiosity Dr. Amy Saltzman, Stanford

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Mindfulness Research

In a randomized controlled trial conducted by Maria Napoli, Ph.D., first, second, and third graders who participated in a bi weekly, 12‐ ‐session integrative program of mindfulness and relaxation showed significant increases in attention and social skills and decreases in test anxiety and ADHD behaviours.

Napoli, M. ”Mindfulness Training for Elementary School Students: The Attention Academy” Journal of Applied School Psychology (2005) Vol. 21(1)

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Mindfulness Research

A study conducted by Amy Saltzman, M.D., in collaboration with the Department of Psychology at Stanford, with 4th 7th graders and their ‐

parents, showed that after 1 hour of mindfulness training for 8 consecutive weeks the children demonstrated increased ability to

orient their attention, as measured by the Attention Network Task, and decreased anxiety

Goldin, P., Saltzman, A., Jha, A. “Mindfulness Meditation Training in Families” ABCT conference abstract (2008)

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Mindfulness Exercise

I. This is an easy mindfulness exercise that you can do anytime throughout the day. Check your watch and note the time. For the next 60 seconds your task is to focus all your attention on your breathing. It’s just for one minute, but it can seem like an eternity. Leave your eyes open and breathe normally. Be ready to catch your mind from wandering off (because it will) and return your attention to your breath whenever it does so.

II. Keep in mind that this mindfulness exercise is not a contest or a personal challenge. You can’t fail at this exercise, you can only experience it.

III. Use this exercise many times throughout the day to restore your mind to the present moment and to restore your mind to clarity and peace.

Hint: Do this with your client

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Mindful Eating

I. This mindfulness activity is definitely the tastiest of them all! It involves nothing more than eating a meal

II. No gobbling! Eat slowly and deliberately. Mindful eating means paying full attention to each piece of food you select to eat, how it looks, how it smells, how you cut the food, the muscles you use to raise it to your mouth, the texture and taste of the food as you chew it slowly. Be absorbed by the experience

III. This is a meditation on the present moment, and the present moment consists of you eating a meal...nothing more. If your mind wanders off, then bring your attention back to the experience of eating. Be with the moment throughout your mindful meal.

Hint: Take your client out for dinner

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Mindful Listening

I. When was the last time you REALLY listened to the sounds that are taking place around you?

II. Much like the noise inside your mind, external noises often go unnoticed. The noise in your mind and the noises in the world around you both form an invisible backdrop to your entire life

III. Stop and notice some of the sounds around you right now...the sound of the computer humming away under your desk. The car that passes by in the distance. The sound of the television in the next room. The birds outside. All these sounds present you with an excellent opportunity to experience the serenity that comes from mindful listening

Hint: Do this with your client

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Mindful Walking

I. The same principles apply to mindful walking as they do to mindful listening and eating. In this mindful activity, you simply bring your full attention to the simple act of walking

II. With this mindfulness technique, you become consciously aware of and absorbed in the movement of your body as you walk

III. Concentrate on the feel of the ground under your feet, or your breathing as you travel. Observe what is going on around you in the world, you don’t have to try and ignore or blot out anything. Just observe everything that you experience, staying in the present moment as you do so. If thoughts pop up, just let them go and return your awareness to the walk.

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Mindfulness LogDay & Date Mindful

EatingMindfulWalking

MindfulListening

MindfulMorningRoutine

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3.2 Developing Vision

(Implementing the Roadmap – Tools, Tips and Techniques)

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Meaning and DirectionI. Gaining clarityII. VisioningIII. Values alignmentIV. Goal Setting

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“Our unresolved (inner) conflicts will come to meet us as fate”

Carl Gustav Jung

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Writing your Eulogy

I. Imagine that you are at your own funeral. You're listening to what your loved ones are saying about you: the good stuff (and the not so good), the dreams, the aspirations, the things that you were connected to, the things that meant a lot to you. Perhaps they mention the things that you didn't get to do, or the opportunities that were lost

II. Take 45 minutes to write up your eulogy. Be honest. What are the core values and the achievements that you would like to be remembered for? If you are finding this process difficult, you can spend time on it

III. Sometime after you have completed the eulogy, reflect on your experience of the exercise. Ask yourself what you learnt from writing it

IV. Next, consider whether the values you listed are really yours and not someone else's (e.g., what you think they should be). Settle on the values that feel most real to you

V. Finally, think about how you can turn your core values into goals. They may be small things, like coming home from work earlier, or bigger things that you've been wanting to do for a while. Whatever these steps are, write them down, make sure they reflect your authentic values and do them!.

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Writing your Eulogy

• Now plot your new trajectory – considering the past and present elements

3. Future

• Status• Moods• Emotions

2. Present

• Milestones• Experiences• Roles

1. Past

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3.3 Values Alignment

(Implementing the Roadmap – Tools, Tips and Techniques)

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Meaning and DirectionI. Gaining clarityII. VisioningIII. Values alignmentIV. Goal Setting

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“If you must tell me your opinions, tell me what you believe in. I have plenty of doubts of my own”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

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Values we espouse manifest in what

we regard as important…

Values we live manifest in the things we give

priority to in life…

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Values Alignment

INSTRUCTION:

I. Considering the previous exercises, make a list of the six most important values in your life (thus the six things you regard as most important). List these in the left hand column (espoused values) of the table provided. Now estimate the percentage time you spend attending to these priorities in your life;

II. In the third column to the right, list current priorities that you spend significant time on. If these issues directly support the corresponding value there is effectively no gap and you don’t have to attend to it. If it however keeps you away from living the espoused value stated in the left column determine the time spent on it and determine the gap. Reflect on the following:

III. Are my values consistent with what I want to achieve in my life?

IV. How can I align my current priorities to support my values, thereby living an authentic and fulfilling life?

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Values AlignmentEspoused Values

Percentage A Competing Priorities

Percentage B A+B Should Add to 100%

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

Reflection

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3.4 Goal Setting

(Implementing the Roadmap – Tools, Tips and Techniques)

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Meaning and DirectionI. Gaining clarityII. VisioningIII. Values alignmentIV. Goal Setting

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"The reason most people never reach their goals is that theydon't define them, or ever seriously consider them as believableor achievable. Winners can tell you where they are going, what

they plan to do along the way, and who will be sharing the adventurewith them”

Denis Watley

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Specific Goals/Outcomes

Step I. Create a positive, specific goal.

Step 2. State your outcome in terms of ability, not lack of ability.

Step 3. Context

Step 4. Sense Modalities

Step 5. Resources

Step 6. Perform an ecology check

Step 7. Milestones

Step 8. Record

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Specific Goals/Outcomes

Step Description Notes

1. State your outcome/goal in positive, specific terms.

2. Make sure your outcome is formed by actions you are doing, not something others are supposed to do. Plus, it should and must be within your own responsibility and ability to act upon.

3. Describe your well-formed outcome in the context of the environment it will be in.

4. Describe your outcome by using your five senses. A well-formed outcome is specific. By adding all senses, you are being more specific and, again, motivational. Add impact to your subconscious.

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Specific Goals/OutcomesStep Description Notes

5. Make a list of the resources you will use in attaining your goal.

Be specific:a. Who are the people who can assist you?b. What are their names?c. What is their profession?d. How about their phone numbers?e. What, exactly, should you ask them?f. What emotions will you need to develop

within yourself?g. Do you need more confidence, resilience,

joyfulness, or assertiveness?h. How much money?i. What information will be important? j. What questions must be answered ahead ofk. time?l. What else do you need?

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SMART Goals/OutcomesStep Description Notes

6. a. What might be interfering with your goal?b. Are there any values, other goals, people, or

laws that may be challenging?c. How might you accommodate or mitigate

current reality in order to make your dream a reality?

d. Consider any internal obstacles you may have. Is a part of you interfering with your goal?

7. Determine how you will know that you are progressing in the right direction and at the right pace. You must know what signs of progress you will be observing along the way.One way to create milestones is to place the resources from your checklist onto a timeline.Vagueness about milestones is a warning sign. Mark on your calendar the dates that you will be checking each milestone. Note in your plan exactly what you want to see by that date.

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Goals in writing are dreams with deadlines.

Brian Tracy

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4. Sustainable Ecology

(Implementing the Roadmap – Tools, Tips and Techniques)

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The Global Roadmap

1Start with the end in

mind –Purpose and

Meaning

2Prepare the

environment – Sustainable

Ecology

3Getting there –

Disciplined Implementation

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Meaning and DirectionI. Gaining clarityII. VisioningIII. Values alignmentIV. Goal Setting

Sustainable EcologyI. Self-awarenessII. EQ and social intelligenceIII. Positive influenceIV. Positive outcomes expectation

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4.1 Self Awareness

(Implementing the Roadmap – Tools, Tips and Techniques)

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Self-Awareness – Emotional Intelligence Link

Emotional Intelligence consist of 4 elements:

I. To understand your own emotions better.

II. To manage your own emotions more effectively and thereby increase one’s own quality of life.

III. To understand others better and thereby live more comfortably with other people.

IV. To build more satisfactory relationships with other people at all levels and in all walks of life, thereby improving your personal power and productivity.

Minnaar, G. 2004

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Why Self Awareness?

One of the foundations of emotional competence -- accurate self-assessment – was associated with

superior performance among several hundred managers from 12 different organizations

(Boyatzis, 1982).

Consortium for research on emotional intelligence in organizations ( www.eiconsortium.org ) by cary cherniss, ph.d. rutgers university. (1999).

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Why Self Awareness?

There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving and that is your own self.

Aldous Huxley

You cannot teach people anything. You can only help them discover it within themselves.

Galileo

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Assessing Self Awareness – Major Assessment Tools

ECI® (Emotional Competence Inventory)

by Hay McBerEQ-i® by Reuven BarOn

MSCEIT® "Mayer, Salovey, Caruso Emotional Intelligence Test"

Self-Awareness Battery Gawie Minnaar Assoc. EQ 2.0 Jopie V Rooyen

Note Health Professions Act, Act 56 of 1974, only registered psychologists are permitted to perform psychological acts which, in relation to evaluation, testing and

assessment, are defined in Section 37 (2) (a), (b), (c), (d), and (e)

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Assessing Self Awareness - Constructs

Intrapersonal Self-regard; emotional awareness; assertiveness; independence; self-actualization

Interpersonal Empathy; social relationships; relationship building

Stress Management Stress tolerance; impulse control

Adaptability Reality; flexibility; problem solving

General Mood Optimism; happiness

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Creating Self Awareness

Assessment

Future

Pacing

Plan

ning Feedback

Dialogue and Synthesis

1. Translating into goals and actions

2. Incorporating into planning

1. Active visualization of implementation

1. EQ – Bar-On Contructs

2. Adaptive emotions - reading

1. Individual2. 360 degree3. Self

interpretation 1. Identify common

ground2. Identify strenghts

leverage

3. Identify growth areas

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Assessing Self Awareness – Adaptive Emotions Self Discovery

INSTRUCTIONS:

Consider the following questions and score yourself in terms of the scale provided:Scale = 1 to 10, where 10 means you are in total agreement with the statement and 1 mean you are in total disagreement. Write your response in the right-hand column and tally at the end. Then use the interpretation table to obtain a meaning for your score

QUESTION SCOREI am aware of my feelings most of the time I can clearly define my strengths and weaknesses I can identify and name the emotions I had the past 24 hours I know my developmental needs for both the short and long term I know what the triggers are for my anger, calm, and joy I notice my physical state when my emotional state changes I am never completely overwhelmed by my emotions I am responsible for how I feel TOTAL

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Assessing Self Awareness – Adaptive Emotions Self Discovery

WHERE ARE YOU NOW

The rating scale offers a quick overview of where you are in terms of self-awareness, and provide feedback on what you can do to develop in this area.a. 65+ You are very self-aware and probably need only to hone your

skills in specific areas where you feel it will enhance you interaction and relationships with other

b. 40-64 There could be areas where not being aware of your influence on others or how situations influence your emotional states could influence your life and work negatively – review questions with lower scores and formulate an action plan to address these

c. If your scored less than 40 there are significant opportunities to improve the quality of your life and work, through further growth and development– review questions with lower scores and formulate an action plan to address these

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OVERVIEW OF THE FEEDBACK PROCESS FOLLOWING EQ ASSESSMENT

NR STEP NAME DESCRIPTION

1 Most prominent issues - Provide feedback and identify most prominent issues (as potential behavioral outcomes)

2 Clarify the issue - What is going on?- How long has it been going on?- How are you experiencing it good/bad…?

3 Determine the current impact

- How is this issue currently impacting you?- What results are currently being produced for me by this situation?- How is this issue currently impacting others?- What results are currently being produced for them by this situation?- When I consider the impact on others, and myself what are my

emotions now?

4 Determine the future implications

- If nothing changes, what’s likely to happen?- What’s at stake for me relative to this issue?- What’s at stake for others?- When I consider these possible outcomes, what are my emotions?

Assessing Self Awareness – Feedback and Planning Session

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OVERVIEW OF THE FEEDBACK PROCESS FOLLOWING EQ ASSESSMENT

nr STEP NAME DESCRIPTION

5 Examine your personal contribution to this issue

- How have I contributed to the problem?

6 Describe the ideal outcome - When this issue is resolved, what differences will that make?

- What results will I enjoy?- When this issue is resolved, what results will others

enjoy?- When I imagine this resolution, what are my emotions?

7 Commit to action - What is the most potent step I could take to move this issue toward resolution?

- What’s going to attempt to get in my way, and how will I get past it?

- When will I take this step?

Assessing Self Awareness – Feedback and Planning Session

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Self-Awareness – Reflective Dairy

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Self-Awareness – Reflective Dairy

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4.2 Emotional and Social Intelligence

(Implementing the Roadmap – Tools, Tips and Techniques)

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Meaning and DirectionI. Gaining clarityII. VisioningIII. Values alignmentIV. Goal Setting

Sustainable EcologyI. Self-awarenessII. EQ and social intelligenceIII. Positive influenceIV. Positive outcomes expectation

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Why Emotional Intelligence?

• In jobs of medium complexity (sales clerks, mechanics), a top performer is 12 times more productive than those at the bottom and 85 percent more productive than an average performer. In the most complex jobs (insurance salespeople, account managers), a top performer is 127 percent more productive than an average performer (Hunter, Schmidt, & Judiesch, 1990).

• Competency research in over 200 companies and organizations worldwide suggests that about one-third of this difference is due to technical skill and cognitive ability while two-thirds is due to emotional competence (Goleman, 1998). (In top leadership positions, over four-fifths of the difference is due to emotional competence.)

Consortium for research on emotional intelligence in organizations ( www.eiconsortium.org ) by cary cherniss, ph.d. rutgers university. (1999).

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Why Emotional Intelligence?

I. Financial advisors at American Express whose managers completed the Emotional Competence training program were compared to an equal number whose managers had not.

II. During the year following training, the advisors of trained managers grew their businesses by 18.1% compared to 16.2% for those whose managers were untrained.

Consortium for research on emotional intelligence in organizations ( www.eiconsortium.org ) by cary cherniss, ph.d. rutgers university. (1999).

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Emotional Intelligence Model

Self-

Focu

s –

Low

Hig

hSe

lf-Fo

cus

– Lo

w H

igh

Place your own textOther-Focus – Low HighOther-Focus – Low High

Self-CentredStyle

Restricted Style Other Directed Style

Assertive, emotionally

intelligent style

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Building EQ – Big Five

Five Core Skills

Discover the powerful role of emotions and how they can make the difference between success and failure in every aspect of life

Identify thoughts and habits that interfere with your ability to understand yourself, connect to others, and manage your emotions

Know what you are feeling and why and the link between your emotions and your body.

Manage and harness even your most unpleasant and frightening emotions.

http://www.helpguide.org/toolkit/emotional_health.htm

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Building EQ – Useful Tools

1. Why emotions matter

2. Roadblocks to awareness

3. Quick stress relief

4. Developing emotional awareness

5. Harness Emotions

http://www.helpguide.org/toolkit/emotional_health.htm

Watch the videos on each of these subjects and reflect

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Identifying Roadblocks to Emotional Awareness

Generalize Distort Delete

Also watch:Gregory’s Ghost

The Queens SpeechTED Video (provided)

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Identifying Roadblocks to Emotional Awareness

My Blockages to Awareness What Negative Results Does it Have

How Can I Address It

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Building EQ – Technique:Using Your Senses to Bust Stress

If you’re a visual person, try to manage and relieve stress by surrounding yourself with soothing and uplifting images. You can also try closing your eyes and imaging the soothing images. Here are a few visually-based activities that may work as quick stress relievers:

I. Look at a cherished photo or a favourite memento.

II. Bring the outside indoors; buy a plant or some flowers to enliven your space.

III. Enjoy the beauty of nature–a garden, the beach, a park, or your own backyard.

IV. Surround yourself with colours that lift your spirits.

V. Close your eyes and picture a situation or place that feels peaceful and rejuvenating.

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Building EQ – Technique:Using Your Senses to Bust Stress

Are you sensitive to sounds and noises? Are you a music lover? If so, stress-relieving exercises that focus on your auditory sense may work particularly well. Experiment with the following sounds, noting how quickly your stress levels drop as you listen.

I. Sing or a hum a favourite tune. Listen to uplifting music.

II. Tune in to the soundtrack of nature-crashing waves, the wind rustling the trees, birds singing.

III. Buy a small fountain, so you can enjoy the soothing sound of running water in your home or office.

IV. Hang wind chimes near an open window.

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Building EQ – Technique:Using Your Senses to Bust Stress

Experiment with your sense of touch, playing with different tactile sensations. Focus on things you can feel that are relaxing and renewing. Use the following suggestions as a jumping off point:

I. Wrap yourself in a warm blanket.II. Pet a dog or cat.III. Hold a comforting object (a stuffed animal, a

favourite memento).IV. Soak in a hot bath.V. Give yourself a hand or neck massage.VI. Wear clothing that feels soft against your skin.

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Building EQ – Technique:Using Your Senses to Bust Stress

If you tend to shut down when you’re under stress, stress-relieving activities that get you moving may be particularly helpful. Anything that engages the muscles or gets you up and active can work. Here are a few suggestions:

I. Run in place or jump up and downII. Dance aroundIII. Stretch or roll your head in circlesIV. Go for a short walkV. Squeeze a rubbery stress ball

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Harnessing Your Emotions:Learning To Meditate

Ride the Wild Horse Meditation:

I. Find a private spot that meets your sensory needs, one where your surroundings feel completely safe and comfortable.

II. Take off your shoes and loosen your belt or any tight clothing.

III. Take the phone off the hook, and close the door.

IV. Find a comfortable chair that supports your back or lie down (but only if you're sure you won't drift off to sleep).

V. Don't smoke, drink alcohol, or eat during this process

VI. Listen to the MP3 sound clips and follow the instructions

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4.3 Developing Positive Influence

(Implementing the Roadmap – Tools, Tips and Techniques)

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Meaning and DirectionI. Gaining clarityII. VisioningIII. Values alignmentIV. Goal Setting

Sustainable EcologyI. Self-awarenessII. EQ and social intelligenceIII. Positive influenceIV. Positive outcomes expectation

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“People like people like themselves…”Igor Ledochowski

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Rapport Building Technique:Pacing and Leading

This technique is frequently useful, for example when you are coaching or if you are with someone who is distressed. You use pacing to match the pace of the other person’s speech, only discussing the next topic when he or she is ready to move on. It is often described as PACE, PACE, PACE and then LEAD the conversation. Imagine that something has upset you. Before you’re able to think rationally about it, you often need to ‘get it off your chest’ by talking it through with a friend or colleague. Pacing works in a similar way. You need to allow someone to say what is important to them first, before you start discussing your agenda.

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Rapport Building Technique:Pacing and Leading

EXAMPLEWhen speaking to an elderly person, pace their speed of conversation before discussing your agenda. This may mean allowing them to discuss something that you consider irrelevant, but which is very important to them. Then they can pay attention and listen to what you need to say. If you interrupt people you encourage them to speak faster, you often achieve exactly the opposite effect!

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Behaviour Influencing Techniques: “Little By Little”

Called the foot-in-the-door technique, the following study demonstrates the tendency of people who have first agreed to a small request to comply later with a larger request. Freedman and Fraser (1966) asked a number of homeowners to let them place a huge DRIVE CAREFULLY sign in their front yards. Only seventeen percent gave permission. Another group of residents, however, was first approached with a smaller request. They were asked to put up a three-inch BE A SAFE DRIVER window sign. Nearly all agreed immediately. When approached a few weeks later, these homeowners were asked to place the gigantic signs on their front lawns. This group agreed overwhelmingly-76 percent consented to putting the unsightly larger sign in their front yards.

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Behaviour Influencing Techniques:“The Power of Humility”

We are driven to follow and believe in a person whose pursuit is not seen as an exercise in self-promotion. President John F. Kennedy’s approval ratings went to record highs after the Bay of Pigs fiasco, and this is believed to be because it showed that he was human, fallible, and humble. He made a mistake and took full responsibility for it. Loyalty is not gained by being right, but rather by doing what is right. No one wants to listen to or follow someone who is egotistical. It’s impossible to be close to someone who is full of himself. If you are full of yourself, there will be no room for anyone else.

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Behaviour Influencing Techniques: “The Power of Humility”

While you may get people to pay attention to you when they must or when it suits them, when the going gets rough, they’ll get going. Here are some examples of showing humility:

I. When you do not know an answer, do not invent one. Simply say, “I don’t know.”II. Treat everyone with respect, especially those who can’t do anything for you and

from whom you don’t need anythingIII. Do not be a know-it-all, and when you are wrong, admit it.IV. Make personal sacrifices. The CEO who picks up garbage on the factory floor

inspires workers to do the same and more

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Behaviour Influencing Techniques: “Image Consistency”

In a recent study. Dr. Read Montague, a professor at the Baylor College of Medicine, gave subjects the “Pepsi challenge” with an FMRI (Functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging) scanner. Simply, he asked participants to sample both Pepsi and Coke and then state their preference. The findings were fascinating. Subjects typically found Pepsi tastier, which was confirmed visually by the FMRI when the brain’s reward centre lit up. Nevertheless, the Coke branding was so strong, as it related to their self-concepts, that they vocalized support for it instead. Brands are so powerful that people will sometimes buy and use a product they like less than a readily available alternative if they identify with it and see themselves as “that kind of person.”

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Behaviour Influencing Techniques“Repetition”

Direct quote from Lieberman,

“The old adage "familiarity breeds contempt" is commonly accepted but interestingly enough, it's not true. In reality, it's the opposite. Numerous studies conclude that the more you interact with someone, the more he or she will like you. According to Moreland and Zajonc (1982), repeated exposure to any stimulus, in this case a person, leads to a greater appreciation and liking (as long as the initial reaction is not negative). This is true of anything a person, a place, or even a product: the greater the exposure, the more positive the response. This is why companies sometimes advertise just a picture of a product, or its name, without any specific features or benefits of using the product. They don't need to tell us how wonderful it is, only remind us of it. Exposure, being an obvious component of repetition, can alone increase sales or votes which is why advertisers and politicians exploit this phenomenon”

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Behaviour Influencing Techniques“First Impressions”

One of the best ways to influence is to make a good first impression. Here are the three principles you can practice and implement:

I. Smile – it shows acceptance, confidence and pleasantnessII. Primacy effect – make the initial moments of contact with people very pleasant.

The rest of your conversation will be filtered through it, thereby creating a highly favourable impression

III. Accessibility and priming - can dramatically influence how we are initially perceived. Lay the unconscious groundwork prior to your meeting.

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Behaviour Influencing Techniques “Getting People To Act”

To ensure that people take action, consider the following influencing principles: I. Narrow options to avoid extensive deliberation II. Give a deadline for taking action. A deadline restricts freedom and increases our

desire to gain what is rare and becoming scarcer. This greatly motivates us to move forward and to take immediate action.

III. Engage the law of consistency by first having an individual commit to a smaller request

IV. Use your words and your actions to engage the law of expectationV. Maximize the law of inertia by reducing what you want a person to do to simple,

easy-to-follow steps to get him/her to begin moving in the right directionVI. Offer any small additional benefit for taking action now. This will significantly

increase your chances of gaining complianceVII. Keep in mind that the number-one psychological rule that determines if someone

will do something for you or even with you is that he/she must, to some extent, like you and, preferably, trust you

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Integration – Influencing Strategies

Stakeholder Potential Impact On Your Outcomes

Influencing Strategy

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4.4 Positive Outcomes Expectation

(Implementing the Roadmap – Tools, Tips and Techniques)

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Meaning and DirectionI. Gaining clarityII. VisioningIII. Values alignmentIV. Goal Setting

Sustainable EcologyI. Self-awarenessII. EQ and social intelligenceIII. Positive influenceIV. Positive outcomes expectation

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“Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened.

Happiness never decreases by being shared.”

The Buddha

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Positive Outcome Expectations

Activities

The gratitude letter and gratitude visit

Signature strengths

Three blessings

Circle of influence and concern

"Reach" Method for Forgiveness

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The Gratitude LetterI. Think of someone who has made a major positive difference in your life but who has never

properly been thanked. It could be an old teacher, your first boss, a long-lost friend, or someone who is still in your life. Think about the impact this person had on you and write a letter of gratitude. What, specifically, are you grateful for? How were you benefited, what did you learn, and how did it make you the person you are today?

II. Consider and define the following:a. Why you are writing this letter

b. What you are grateful for. Be as specific as possible

c. Describe the things you are grateful for in concrete terms

d. Describe how their behaviour affected you, how you benefited, what you learnt

e. Allow yourself to really be in touch with the feeling of gratitude as you write

f. Read and re-read the letter to ensure that it really captures your thoughts and feelings

g. Set a time and day to go on your gratitude visit

h. Make the visit. For many people this is the hardest part, but it is also the most beneficial.

http://makingaustraliahappy.abc.net.au/docs/gratitude_letter_worksheet.pdf

Hint: Use the video as introduction

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Signiture Strenghts

Strength 1: (Where; When: How did I feel)

Strength 2:(Where; When: How did I feel)

Strength 3:(Where; When: How did I feel)

Strength 4:(Where; When: How did I feel)

Strength 5:(Where; When: How did I feel)

Hint: Use the video as introduction

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Three Blessings

• Our brain tends to ignore what goes well and it focuses by default on what might go wrong. Martin Seligman and others have devised and used a simple technique to address this, called the three blessings exercise;

• The three blessings exercise demands that you focus your attention, as you end your day, on three things that went well and why they went well. These three don’t have to be earthshattering: they can be as small as a beautiful flower you looked at. This re-educates your attention toward the positive. Even severely depressed people can find three things that went well every day, and when they do, their depression may start to lift.

Hint: Use the video as introduction

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Three Blessings

• What to do:

• Every night for the next week, right before you go to bed, write down three things that went really well today. These things can be small and ordinary in importance. Think about why this good thing happened.

• Optional addition:

• Once you have completed your list of good events and your explanations for them on any night, pick one good event that you would like to dream about. Positive dreams increase life satisfaction and consolidate the memories of good events, so it is worth the effort to try and influence your dreams.

http://makingaustraliahappy.abc.net.au/docs/gratitude_letter_worksheet.pdf

Hint: Use the video as introduction

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Circle Of Influence And ConcernI. For a full day, listen to your language and to the language of the people around you. How often do you

use and hear reactive phrases such as “If only” “I can’t” or “I have to”?

II. Identify an experience you might encounter in the near future where, based on past experience, you would probably behave reactively. Review the situation in the context of your Circle of Influence. How could you respond proactively? Take several moments and create the experience vividly in your mind, picturing yourself responding in a proactive manner. Make a commitment to yourself to exercise your freedom to choose.

III. Select a problem from your work or personal life that is frustrating to you. Determine whether it is a direct, indirect or no control problem. Identify the first step you can take in your Circle of Influence to solve it and then take that step.

IV. Try the thirty day test of proactivity. For 30 days work only in your Circle of Influence. Make small commitments and keep them. Be part of the solution, not part of the problem. Be aware of the change in your Circle of Influence.

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"Reach" Method for Forgiveness1. Recall the hurt

2. Empathize with the one who hurt you

3. Altruistic gift of forgiveness, offer

3. Commitment to forgive, make

4. Hold on to the forgivenes

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4.4 Establishing A Professional Network

(Implementing the Roadmap – Tools, Tips and Techniques)

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Meaning and DirectionI. Gaining clarityII. VisioningIII. Values alignmentIV. Goal Setting

Sustainable EcologyI. Self-awarenessII. EQ and social intelligenceIII. Positive influenceIV. Positive outcomes expectation

Sustainable EcologyV. Establishing a professional network

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A personal brand is your promise to the marketplace and the world. Since

everyone makes a promise to the world, one does not have a choice of

having or not having a personal brand. Everyone has one. The real

question is whether someone’s personal brand is powerful enough to be meaningful to the person and the

marketplace.Tom Peters

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1. Update Your Online Profiles

I. LinkedInII. FacebookIII. Plaxo etc.

Help you keep an updated CV; Arrange events (Facebook); make contact with old colleagues; participate in discussion groups

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2. Publish

I. Professional journalsII. Conferences III. http://www.hrfuture.netIV. http://www.publisher.co.za/ (self-publishing)V. http://

www.penguinbooks.co.za/publishing/publishing.php

VI. http://selfpublishingassociation.blogspot.com/

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3. Create and Distribute Content of Interest to Your Network

I. http://www.skills-universe.comII. Your Outlook contactsIII. LinkedIn contactsIV. Facebook contacts

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4. Start a Blog/Get Involved in the Online Conversation

I. IT ToolboxII. HR ToolboxIII. Skills Universe (South Africa)IV. Blogger.comV. Link to Aggregators VI. LinkedInVII. Facebook

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5. Write and always answer everyone (no matter how small)

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6. Pick 2-3 key associations and get active

I. CollaborateII. Eat together (with the purpose to

share and learnIII. Create joint venturesIV. Create mutual opportunities

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7. Speak, Speak, Speak

I. ToastmastersII. ConferencesIII. Informal discussion groupsIV. Brown bag sessionsV. COP’s

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7. Speak, Speak, Speak

I. ToastmastersII. ConferencesIII. Informal discussion groupsIV. Brown bag sessionsV. COP’s

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Integration

Target Group/Area Strategy (see previous techniques)

Action Steps

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5. Disciplined Implementation

(Implementing the Roadmap – Tools, Tips and Techniques)

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The Global Roadmap

1Start with the end in

mind –Purpose and

Meaning

2Prepare the

environment – Sustainable

Ecology

3Getting there –

Disciplined Implementation

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5.1 A De-Cluttering

(Implementing the Roadmap – Tools, Tips and Techniques)

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Meaning and DirectionI. Gaining clarityII. VisioningIII. Values alignmentIV. Goal Setting

Sustainable EcologyI. Self-awarenessII. EQ and social intelligenceIII. Positive influenceIV. Positive outcomes expectation

Sustainable EcologyV. Establishing a professional network

Disciplined ImplementationI. DeclutteringII. PlanningIII. Pacing actionIV. Creating a review system

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Be steady and well-ordered in your life so that you can be fierce and original in your

work.” -Gustave Flaubert

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Collecting

The Key is to have

nothing on your mind (other than what you want on your

mind):

a. Have and use a ubiquitous personal “capture” tool

b. Have and use pens and legal pads wherever you think, work, communicate

c. After you write on your pads, tear and toss the pages into your in-basket (central collection point)

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ProcessingShould it

be deferred –

pend

Does it involve more than two steps – new

project

Can it be done now in one or two

steps -Crank

Stuff

Junk

Dairy

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NB – Include your projects

to achieve your purpose and meaning

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5.2 A Planning and Pacing Action

(Implementing the Roadmap – Tools, Tips and Techniques)

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Meaning and DirectionI. Gaining clarityII. VisioningIII. Values alignmentIV. Goal Setting

Sustainable EcologyI. Self-awarenessII. EQ and social intelligenceIII. Positive influenceIV. Positive outcomes expectation

Sustainable EcologyV. Establishing a professional network

Disciplined ImplementationI. DeclutteringII. PlanningIII. Pacing actionIV. Creating a review system

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Scrum Board – Planning

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Scrum Board – Pacing Action

TASKS BASED ON GOALS

1

IN PROCESS

2

COMPLETED

3

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5.3 Creating a Personal Review System

(Implementing the Roadmap – Tools, Tips and Techniques)

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Meaning and DirectionI. Gaining clarityII. VisioningIII. Values alignmentIV. Goal Setting

Sustainable EcologyI. Self-awarenessII. EQ and social intelligenceIII. Positive influenceIV. Positive outcomes expectation

Sustainable EcologyV. Establishing a professional network

Disciplined ImplementationI. DeclutteringII. PlanningIII. Pacing actionIV. Creating a review system

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What did I do since last

review

What Do IPlan

To Do

What Is Blocking Me

Scrum Board – Pacing Action

TASKS BASED ON GOALS

1

IN PROCESS

2

COMPLETED

3

Answer to Independent third

party

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6. Closure – Commitment to Live Long Learning

(Implementing the Roadmap – Tools, Tips and Techniques)

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The Global Roadmap

1Start with the end in

mind –Purpose and

Meaning

2Prepare the

environment – Sustainable

Ecology

3Getting there –

Disciplined Implementation

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Meaning and DirectionI. Gaining clarityII. VisioningIII. Values alignmentIV. Goal Setting

Sustainable EcologyI. Self-awarenessII. EQ and social intelligenceIII. Positive influenceIV. Positive outcomes expectation

Sustainable EcologyV. Establishing a professional network

Disciplined ImplementationI. DeclutteringII. PlanningIII. Pacing actionIV. Creating a review system

THE FINAL LAP- LIFE LONG LEARNING

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1: What do you hope to achieve from the learning activity?

2: What organisational value or goal does this relate to?

3. Which of the skills in the skills framework does it relate to?

4: How will the learning activity be carried out?

5: When will it be completed?

6: How much will it cost?

7: After the learning activity*

To be able to…

To be able to…

To be able to…

To be able to…

To be able to…

Scrum Board – Planning

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