Familyc o n n e c t i o n

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Family Connection is a publication of the Fleet and Family Support Program.

The Navy's Fleet and Family Support Program promotes the self-reliance and resilience of Sailors and their families. We provide information that can help you meet the unique challenges of the military lifestyle.

The appearance of external links in this newsletter does not constitute official endorsement on behalf of the U.S. Navy or Department of Defense.

If you have questions or comments, contact the Fleet and Family Support Program, ffsp.fct@navy.mil.

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ContentsHow to do a Holiday Deployment

Don’t Be a Yule Mule: Avoid Job Scams this Holiday Season

Lock Down Your Login

Make Way for the Snowball Express!

Resources for Military Spouses

Holiday Health and Safety Tips

Thriving During Family HolidaysBy Mary Foston-English, MFT, Stanford University

Holidays can sometimes put strain on family re-lationships. Pre-established rules about who we are supposed to be and how we are supposed to act (based on gender, birth order, family rules, family rituals and so on) do not always give us the space to be who we are.

Expectations are also elevated during the holi-days because of family rituals and assumptions about “how the holidays are supposed to be.” Some of the assumptions we have about the holidays include:

• “Holidays are supposed to be joyous and happy.”

• “Holidays are times when families come together.”

• “If you don’t have family, then there’s no reason to celebrate.”

• “There’s no place like home for the holidays.”

• “Everything has to be perfect.”

Military families often encounter stress when they return after having been away in service. They have probably changed significantly and their values and expectations about the holidays are now different. On one hand, they don’t want to rock the boat, but on the other, pretending that nothing has changed does not seem a comfortable option.

People want to belong and feel connected dur-ing the holidays. This desire can be so strong that we overextend ourselves emotionally, physically and financially.

Here are several tips that can help you move from surviving to thriving during family holidays. Choosing any one of these can make for a more enjoyable holiday season:

• If there is something about the holidays that “gets you down,” identify it and deal with it directly.

• If doing the “same old thing” gets you down, don’t do the same old thing.

• Don’t expect miracles; keep your expectations of others and self realistic.

• Don’t “overdo.” Plan ahead of time, prioritize what needs to be done and try to involve oth-ers with the preparation.

• Don’t worry about how things should be or what you should do but do what you can do and more importantly what you want to do.

• If the holidays make you feel out of control, “take control” over the holidays by taking time-outs for yourself. Have more self-compassion and accept your limitations.

• Use humor; try to see the lighter side of life and not take yourself so seriously.

• Stick to a budget for gift giving and food shop-ping, or even consider alternatives to gift giving.

• Minimize over-indulging in food and alcohol as way to cope with stress.

In a 12-step recovery program, the acronym “HALT” stands for hungry, angry, lonely, tired. If any one of these describes your demeanor, you are at risk for relapse. I think this self-assessment can be used by anyone at any time, especially during the holidays. When you feel hungry, an-gry, lonely or tired, HALT. Stop, breathe, and take care of yourself — and the holidays will be much more enjoyable and manageable!

Mary Foston-English, MFT, assistant director of Stanford University’s Faculty and Staff Help Center, took part in a Q&A session on upcoming holidays with the staff of BeWell. This article is condensed from her remarks.

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Don’t Be a Yule Mule: Avoid Job Scams this Holiday SeasonUnemployed? Underemployed? Totally freaking out about the upcoming holidays? You are not alone. We all need a little extra cash every now and then. What better way to earn money than from the comfort of our homes? Working at home seems like the perfect solution to our holiday financial woes, right? Scammers with attractive bogus job offers think so, too.

In the third quarter this year, the nationwide unemployment rate rose slightly, reaching 5.1 percent. Criminals know this, and are glad to offer job scam solicitations, like the popular reshipping scam.

Results of a new study released in October indicate that at least $1.8 billion in reship-ping fraud was committed using 1.6 million stolen credit and debit cards.

Here’s how a reshipping scam works:

A criminal, usually posing as a company, goes on a fishing expedition by posting a job vacancy ad on an internet career website. The “company” is offering positions such as “transportation assistant” or “package processing manager” to unsuspecting job seekers in need of supplemental income, “no experience needed.” The trap is now set.

The job duties simply require you to receive packages at your address. All that you have to do is mail those unopened packages to someone else using the provided postage- paid labels. Sounds easy, right?

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Holiday separations are a regular feature of military family life, whether caused by deployments, temporary assignments, or your service member’s pulling duty on a special day your family would rather be together. If you are going through your first or second or fifth holiday deployment, here are some of ideas from military families who have been in that same place to help you and yours get through the holidays:

Carry Tissue. Other people never really understand what it feels like to have your loved one deployed over the holidays. A deployment Christmas happens to you alone – even if you live in a town populated by other deploying military families. No one can help you with this more than you can help yourself. So carry your own tissue and keep moving forward.

Drink the Milk of Human Kindness. School concerts, holiday pageants, parties at work and volunteer opportunities will happen just like they do when your service member is at home. Don’t avoid the kind-ness of other people just because you are alone. Decide you will attend everything you are invited to for at least one hour.

Cool It on the Care Packages. Depend-ing on where your service member is stationed, they may not have space for a lot of stuff you would like to send in a care package. You are not required to send something that will make your service member so happy that they will not notice you are apart. That is not possible. Instead,

take some of the pressure off and send the little things that say you care.

Gather Your Team. Ask yourself where you will feel happiest on the big day – at home? With family? With friends? Then go there.

Do It for the Kids. You may want to skip the holidays during a deployment, but your children will not, so let them create positive holiday memories. Looking back on them, our kids remember deployed Christmases just as happily as any others.

Employ Whackadoo Holiday Traditions. One of the things about being a military family at the holidays is that you often have to improvise. One important thing grown military brats say made a difference for them was silly little holiday traditions their parents carried from house to house, like everyone wearing silky robes picked up on a previous deployment in Okinawa. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat until a tradition is made.

Your Turn Next Year. The holidays roll around every year without fail. This time next year, your service member will most likely be home. Those special dishes will taste a little better. Your decorations will shine a little brighter. Your holiday hugs will be a little warmer. Use this holiday apart to bring your family closer than ever.

Condensed from a longer article on Military.com: http://www.military.com/holidays/military-families/holiday-traditions-military-family.html.

How to do a Holiday DeploymentBy Jacey Eckhart

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JSS Dial-in Access 24/7?

1-877-JSS-NOW1(577-6691)

www.jointservicessupport.org

JSSJoint Services Support

Don’t Be a Yule Mule: Avoid Job Scams this Holiday SeasonContinued from page 2

The ugly truth is that the job offer is coming from a group of criminals that have used sto-len credit cards or counterfeit money orders to purchase merchandise that will be shipped to the address of their new “employee.”

When victims ship the “hot” packages, they may be paid with a counterfeit check or money order. What seemed like a great op-portunity to make some extra holiday cash can make the eager job-seeker an unwilling accomplice in international crime.

While job hunting, always remember, there is no easy money. If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

Be cautious about internet job offers, and read more to avoid being the victim of a reshipping scam:

http://www.bbb.org/blog/blog_new-posts/2016/08/10/dont-be-a-yule-mule-avoid-job-scams-this-holiday-season/.

To guard against becoming a victim of fraud, attend a Consumer Awareness class given by your local Fleet and Family Support Center. For the location nearest you, visit www.ffsp.navy.mil.

Lock Down Your LoginFrom the Better Business Bureau (www.bbb.org).

The National Retail Federation esti-mates that almost half of holiday gift purchases in 2016 will be made online, up from 44 percent in 2015. Though its popularity increases every year, the online market place can still be a risky one. The Better Business Bureau (BBB) estimates that someone becomes a victim of identity fraud every two seconds.

The BBB has teamed up with the White House, the National Cyber Security Alliance and dozens of public and private sector organizations to urge consumers and businesses to “Lock Down Your Login.” The campaign focuses on steps anyone can take to make their online accounts safer, including two-factor authentication (2FA). User names and passwords are not enough

to ensure secure online accounts. BBB urges consum-ers to activate 2FA when it is offered by websites and online accounts.

Many banking sites already use 2FA, but the technique is not limited to financial services. Bill Fanelli, chief security officer with the Council

of Better Business Bureaus, explains, “Two-factor authentication means using any two of something you know plus something you have or something you are. To add two-factor authentication to your phone, for example, you can use a fingerprint (something you are) and a PIN (something you know).”

More tips and suggestions are available at lockdownyourlogin.com.

Relocation TipA move during the holiday season can create more than a little stress.

Take a little downtime to recharge your batteries. That will help you power through holiday-time moving. Visit your local FFSC for ideas on how to reducing your stress.

U.S. Navy Individual Augmentees

Returning Warrior Workshops (RWW)Returning Warrior Workshop Schedule and IA Family Events — www.ia.navy.mil. Click “Resources” then “IA Services.”

IA Discussion Group Schedule View the Fleet-wide list of classes, sup-port groups and events.

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Navy Gold Star Program team members are packing their sleighs and gearing up for a magical December. A team of coordinators and liaisons from CNIC Headquarters (HQ); Commander, Navy Region Northwest (CNRNW); Commander, Navy Region Mid-Atlantic (CNRMA) and Commander, Navy Region Southeast (CNRSE) are heading to the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex for the nation’s largest event honoring the children of the fallen. Navy Gold Star will make its third appearance at the annual Snowball Express Dec. 11-15. Now in its 11th year, the Snowball Express will bring together

more than 1800 children ages 5-18 who lost an active-duty parent since September 11, 2001. Through remembrance activities, concerts and special events; heroes are re-membered, families are strengthened and children who have experienced the death of a parent in military service are provided a tangible opportunity to know that they are neither forgotten nor alone.

To follow the Navy Gold Star team as it serves Gold Star Families, visit the Navy Gold Star Program on Facebook at www.face-book.com/navygoldstar. You can learn more about the outstanding efforts of Snowball Express at www.snowballexpress.org.

Make Way for the Snowball Express!

Resources for Military SpousesA recent article in Stars and Stripes, published Nov. 3, reported survey results from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Service Administration (SAMHSA). The survey revealed that military wives are more likely to binge drink and experience mental health issues than other married women.

Survey data included the following:

• 31.5 percent of military wives between the age of 18 and 49 binge drink (that is, five or more alcoholic drinks at one time) compared to 22.7 percent of all wives.

• Military wives are less likely to use mari-juana.

• 29.1 percent of military wives experienced mental health concerns in the past year.

Researchers noted that military wives are younger than married women in the general population, which may be a factor in the binge drinking figure. However, the data causes alarm, and healthcare profes-sionals hypothesize a connection to the unique challenges of military spouses, who are called upon to demonstrate resilience and strength in the face of frequent deploy-ments by their military spouses, frequent moves, single parenting, etc.

To help family members combat stressors of military life that may contribute to alcohol/drug abuse and mental health problems, support services are available, free of charge, at Fleet and Family Support Centers (FFSCs). FFSC services range from employment readiness, deployment support classes and confidential individual counseling. For more information on all the services provided, go to: http://cnic.navy.mil/ffr/family_readiness/fleet_and_family_support_program.html.

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Resources for Military SpousesContinued from page 4

Additional resources include:

National Military Family Association (NMFA). The NMFA offers a wealth of information and resources regarding deployment, EFMP, adoption, healthy relationships, transition out of the military and much more. Check out their website at http://www.militaryfamily.org/.

Your installation’s chaplain. Chaplains are also trained counselors attuned to military lifestyle issues and prepared to offer confidential, professional assistance and referral services.

Military OneSource. Military OneSource provides non-medical services through confidential, short-term counseling to active-duty members, National Guard and reserve service members (regardless of their activation status) and their families. Visit Mili-tary OneSource at www.militaryonesource.mil or call 800-342-9647.

TRICARE. Therapy services may be avail-able through a TRICARE network provider in your area. Your primary care manager can refer you to appropriate counseling or you may contact your regional managed care support contractor at http://www.tricare.mil/About/Regions.aspx. If you are using TRICARE, make sure you understand what services TRICARE covers and any copay-ments for which you may be responsible.

SAMHSA is a federal agency that conducts research, develops programs and policies with the mission of reducing the impact of substance abuse and mental illness in America. This is the first time that SAMHSA has provided data from research about military families.

The full article can be found at https://www.stripes.com/news/us/survey-military-wives-more-likely-to-binge-drink-have-mental-health-issues-than-other-married-women-1.437236.

The holidays are a great opportunity to enjoy time with family and friends, celebrate life, to be grateful, and reflect on what is important. They are also a time to appreciate the gift of health. Here are some holiday tips to support your efforts for health and safety this season.

Wash your hands often. Keeping hands clean is one of the most important steps you can take to avoid getting sick and spreading germs to others. Wash your hands with soap and clean running water, and rub them together for at least 20 seconds. Cover your mouth and nose with a tissue when you cough or sneeze. If you don’t have tissue, cough or sneeze into your upper sleeve or elbow, not your hands.

Stay warm. Cold temperatures can cause serious health problems, especially in infants and older adults. Stay dry and dress warmly in several layers.

Manage stress. The holidays do not need to take a toll on your health and pocketbook. Keep your commitments and spending in check. Balance work, home and play. Get support from family and friends. Keep a relaxed and positive outlook. Make sure to get proper sleep.

Travel safely. Whether you are traveling across town or around the world, help ensure your trip is safe. Do not drink and drive, and do not let someone else drink and drive. Wear a seat belt every time you drive or ride in a motor vehicle. Always buckle your child in the car using a child safety seat, booster seat, or seat belt appropriate for his/her height, weight and age.

Be smoke-free. Avoid smoking and breath-ing other people’s smoke. If you smoke, quit today! Call 1-800-QUIT-NOW or talk to your health care provider for help.

Get check-ups and vaccinations. Exams and screenings can help find potential prob-lems early, when the chances for treatment and cure are often better. Vaccinations help prevent diseases and save lives. Schedule a visit with your health care provider for needed exams and screenings. Ask what vaccinations and tests you should get based on your age, lifestyle, travel plans, medical history and family health history. Get health insurance through healthcare.gov if needed.

Watch the kids. Children are at high risk for injuries. Keep a watchful eye on your kids when they are eating and playing. Keep potentially dangerous toys, food, drinks, household items, choking hazards (like coins and hard candy) and other objects out of kids’ reach. Learn how to provide early treat-ment for children who are choking. Make sure toys are used properly. Develop rules about acceptable and safe behaviors, includ-ing using electronic media.

Prevent injuries. Injuries can happen any-where, and some often occur around the holidays. Use step stools instead of climbing on furniture when hanging decorations. Leave the fireworks to the professionals. Wear a helmet when riding a bicycle or skateboarding to help prevent head injuries. Keep vaccinations up to date.

Learn more about holiday health and safety by visiting the CDC website at https://www.cdc.gov/family/holiday/.

Holiday Health and Safety TipsFrom the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

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Ombudsman Registry: ‘Up,’ Under RepairProgrammers are working to resolve problems with the Ombudsman Reg-istry. Currently, the bulletin feature and Ombudsman Registry change notifications are experiencing intermittent problems with some account holders receiving the bulletins, while others are not since the conversion to CAC-enabled access.

On the Registry, ombudsman coordinators and commanders/command designees receive a change notification email when-ever changes are made to the command, ombudsmen, or commander/command designee accounts. However, the system is currently sending out multiple notifications for every change, anywhere from three to six notifications.

Thank you for your patience and we apolo-gize for the inconvenience.

Help us connect with service members from around the globe! We are actively seeking FFSC staff/educators who are interested in facilitating webinars. As a member of our presenter team, you will be able to showcase your skills as a presenter, expand your center’s reach and document and receive credit for the webinar in FFSMIS and centralized scheduling! The webinar platform is very user-friendly and technical support is always available.

To offer your talents or get more information, please speak with your Center Director, then email LiveWellResilientWeb.fct@navy.mil.

Call for Presenters: Live Well Resiliency Webinars

COT Training at Kitsap

CNIC hosted training for Certified Ombudsman Trainers (COTs) and Ombudsman Coordinators Nov. 1-3 at Naval Base Kitsap, Bangor, Wash. The three-day training consisted of program updates, region breakout sessions and a full day devoted to professional develop-ment training. The highlight of the training was the roll out of the newly revised Ombudsman Program curriculum. Updates were made to the Ombudsman Program Manual, The Ombudsman Coordinator Desk Guide, the Ombudsman Basic Training (OBT) Instruc-tor Guide, Electronic Ombudsman Basic Training (eOBT) Instructor Guide, and Ombudsman on Demand Orientation. Distribution is slated for January 2017.