LEARNING TO STAY TOGETHER ALWAYS

THE SIX HUMAN NEEDS

Relationships Today• The Cold Hard Facts….

60% of married couples are divorced

The divorce rate has been stable since 1998

20% of first marriages end within 15 years

85% of couples that live together break up

* U.S. Census Bureau

Relationships Today• The Cold Hard Facts….

The majority of first born children are born to

unmarried couples

Children who live in single parent homes have a

higher rate of:• Behavioral problems• Dropping out of school• Drug/alcohol abuse• Divorcing later in life

Relationships Today• There is hope….

No one is born with the skills/tools on how to

have a great relationship

Education and knowledge will help you

We are influenced by the model of our parents,

our personality, our perceptions of love

Strong foundation is Key!

What are Human Needs?

Why we do the things that we do

Drives and shapes all of our decisions

All human beings have the same needs

Everybody values one or two needs

Determines most of the choices made in life

The difference – how people meet these

needs

“Means” - anything you use as a tool to meet

your needs

What are Human Needs?

What are the 6 Human Needs?

1) Certainty

2) Uncertainty/Variety

3) Significance

4) Love/Connection

5) Growth

6) Contribution

6 Human Needs

1) Certainty The need to feel a sense of comfort and avoid pain

Avoiding/eliminating stress

Creating/increasing pleasure

Security/survival

6 Human Needs

• How can you meet the need for Certainty?

Control

Consistency

Food

Faith

6 Human Needs

2) Uncertainty/Variety The need for excitement, surprise, challenge

Physical activity

Mood swings

Entertainment

6 Human Needs

• How do you meet the need for uncertainty?

Alcohol

Drugs

New relationship

Learning

6 Human Needs

3) SignificanceThe need to feel special and important in some way

Sense of being needed

Sense of purpose

Uniqueness

6 Human Needs

• How do you meet the need for significance?

Achievements

Academic degrees

Material possessions

Tearing others down

6 Human Needs

4) Connection/LoveThe need to feel connected with someone or

something

Bonding

Oneness

Intimacy

6 Human Needs

• How do you meet the need for Connection/Love?

Intimate Relationships

Relationships with friends/family

Spirituality

Drugs/Smoking

6 Human Needs

5) Growth The need for the feeling that we are growing –

intellectually, spiritually, and physically

We all must grow

Growth = Life

6 Human Needs

• How do you meet the need for growth?

Physical activity

Learning – continued knowledge

6 Human Needs

6) ContributionThe need to contribute beyond yourself

Serving to a higher purpose

6 Human Needs

• How do you meet the need for contribution?

Community service

Charitable donations

Giving to one’s children

6 Human Needs

1) Certainty

2) Uncertainty/Variety

3) Significance

4) Love/Connection

5) Growth

6) Contribution

Universal Needs of the Personality

Primary Needs are EssentialTo Human Fulfillment

Experience sustainable joy vs. momentary pleasure

6 Human Needs

• Now it’s your turn…

What are your Top 2 Needs?

What are your partner’s Top 2 Needs?

How do you relate to each other based on what

your top needs are?