Chapter Three

Listening, Team Communication,

and Difficult Conversations

McGraw-Hill/Irwin Copyright © 2014 by The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

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Learning Objectives

LO3.1 Describe and evaluate the process of active listening.

LO3.2 Explain and evaluate barriers to effective listening an common types of non-listening behaviors.

LO3.3 Describe the elements of questions that enhance listening and learning.

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Learning Objectives (cont.)

LO3.4 Explain the principles of team communication in high-performing teams.

LO3.5 Describe and demonstrate approaches to planning, running, and following up on meetings.

LO3.6 Explain basic principles for handling difficult conversations.

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Most Important Communication Skills According to Business Graduates (2000–2010)

Table 3.1

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Engaging in Active Listening

Active listening “a person’s

willingness and ability to hear and understand.”

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Six Skills in Active Listening

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The Traditional ChineseCharacter for Listen

Figure 3.1

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Paying Attention

This step involves devoting your whole attention to others and allowing them enough comfort and time to express themselves completely.

As others speak to you, try to understand everything they say from their perspective

Requires active nonverbal communication

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Holding Judgment

People will only share their ideas and feelings with you if they feel safe

Holding judgment is particularly important in tense and emotionally charged situations.

Learner mind-set vs. judger mind-set

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Holding Judgment

Learner mind-set you show eagerness to hear others’ ideas and

perspectives and listen with an open mind You do not have your mind made up before

listening fully.

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Holding Judgment

Judger mind-set people have their minds made up before listening

carefully to others’ ideas, perspective, and experiences.

Judgers view disagreement rigidly, with little possibility of finding common ground

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Holding Judgment

Learner statements, show your

commitment to hearing people out

Judger statements, show you are closed

off to hearing people out, shut down honest conversations

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Judger Statements vs. Learner Statements

Table 3.2

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Reflecting

To make sure you really understand others, you should frequently paraphrase what you’re hearing.

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Reflecting Statements

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Clarifying

Clarifying involves making sure you have a clear understanding of what others mean.

It includes double-checking that you understand the perspectives of others and asking them to elaborate and qualify their thoughts

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Clarifying StatementsTable 3.4

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Summarizing and Sharing

The goal of summarizing is to restate major themes so that you can make sense of the big issues from the perspective of the other person

Active listening also involves expressing your own perspectives and feelings.

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Summarizing Statements

Table 3.5

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Recognizing Barriers to Effective Listening

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Defensive and Non-defensiveReplies

Figure 3.2

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Asking the Right Questions

A crucial skill is the ability to ask the right questions

Good questions reflect the learner mind-set, and poor questions reflect a judger mind-set

Table 3.6

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Types of Effective QuestionsTable 3.7

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Types of Counterproductive Questions

Table 3.8

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Common Functions of Teams

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Barriers to Team Effectiveness

Ineffective communicationLack of effective chartering and goal settingLack of clarity and goal settingLow moraleLow productivityLack of trust

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Stages of Development inHigh-Performance Teams

Figure 3.3

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Stages of Development inHigh-Performance Teams

Forming stage team members focus

on gaining acceptance and avoiding conflict

Storming stage team members open

up with their competing ideas about how the team should approach work

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Stages of Development inHigh-Performance Teams

Norming stage the team arrives at a

work plan, including the roles, goals, and accountabilities

Performing stage teams operate

efficiently toward accomplishing their goals

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Principles of Effective Team Communication

Effective teams build a work culture around values, norms, and

goals spend a lot of time discussing values, norms, and

goals spend most of their time discussing work issues meet often embrace differing viewpoints and conflict feel a common sense of purpose

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Embracing Differing Viewpoints

Disassociation process by which

professionals accept critique of their ideas without taking it personally and becoming defensive

Association psychological

bonding that occurs between people and their ideas

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Planning for Meetings: Essential Questions

What is the purpose of the meeting? What outcomes do I expect?

Who should attend?When should the meeting be scheduled?What roles and responsibilities should people

at the meeting have?

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Planning for Meetings: Essential Questions

What will be the agenda?What materials should I distribute prior to

the meeting?When and how should I invite others?What logistical issues do I need to take care

of (reserving rooms, getting equipment, printing materials)?

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Creating and Distributing the Agenda

Agendas provide structure for meetingsMost agendas should include:

items to be covered time frames goals and/or expected outcomes Roles materials needed.

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Running Effective Meetings

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Closing the Meeting

How much information, analysis, and interpretation did I provide?

Did I communicate my ideas even if they conflicted with someone else’s?

Did I participate in the implementation of the timeline? Did I meet deadlines?

Did I facilitate the decision-making process? Or did I just go with the flow?

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Following Up After Meetings

Follow up by distributing the minutes of the meeting

Memo, email, team blog

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Managing Difficult Conversations

Difficult conversations often center on disagreements, conflict, and bad news

Many people prefer to avoid difficult conversations because they want to avoid hurting the feelings of others or want to avoid conflict

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Principles of DifficultConversations

Embrace difficult conversations.Assume the best in others.Adopt a learning stance.Stay calm/overcome noise.Find common ground.Disagree diplomatically.Avoid exaggeration and either/or

approaches.

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Components of DifficultConversations

1. Start well/declare your intent2. Listen to their story3. Tell your story4. Create a shared story