Tyler Folkedahl

Honors 391

Emily Hill

9/24/14

Chapter 9 Response

As per usual, there were a few things that got me a little bit hot and sassy in this chapter.

Primary amongst these things is a quote from our beloved friend Brian Little. On page 222, Brian

is quoted as saying “One way of looking at this is to say that I was heavily engaged in extrovert-

like behaviors, but, of course, had I been a real extrovert I would have done quicker, less

nuanced letters of recommendation, would not have invested the time in preparation of lectures,

and the social events would not have drained me”. Let’s establish off the bat, the last of these

assertions is negligible. The first two definitely rubbed me the wrong way, though.

The first time I read this, I was quick to jump to conclusions, but I caught myself. I took a

minute, finished up the chapter, lit a candle, and spent some time watching one of my favorite

comedians on YouTube. However, now coming back to the quote, I still find these statements to

be incredibly unfair. I tried to think critically and consider any unobserved deeper meanings that

might be lingering in these statements; maybe he meant that if he were extroverted, his heart

would lie in different pursuits; maybe he meant something else entirely. It seems at this point I’m

just grasping at straws though, and the takeaway from what he said is that extroverts do shittier

work. I do not understand how he can so easily come to a vast and sweeping generalization of

extroverts to say that they have such a great failing at putting the entirety of their effort behind

what they’re doing. Thinking on it a bit more, I could see how it would be possible that he might

be referring to the fact that extroverts generally give less attention to detail, but it still seems to

be stretching a bit for me, and I can’t fully put myself behind that statement. I really look

forward to hearing what the class has to say about this particular quote.

Another thing about this chapter that I found almost shocking is the description of her

friend Alex she gives on pages 210 and 211. I could hardly believe that she included this in the

book, let alone calling him a friend and citing this as a positive example. When I read this, Alex

literally came off as a sociopath. “I studied social dynamics, I guarantee more than anyone

you’ve ever met… So by now I’m built for war. Because then people don’t screw you” (211). I

can totally understand and sympathize with the idea of toughening yourself up to avoid stigma

and abuse from your peers. But it seems to me that Alex is taking this to a whole different level.

He picked up this habit, according to Cain, in the seventh grade. This kid was spending all of his

time in social interactions studying people’s behavior and the way that they presented

themselves, fundamentally so that he could manipulate them. Not only that, he condones the use

of physical violence, saying “Oh, and every once in a while, you have to punch people” (211). I

get it, kids are mean and you want to find a way to stick up for yourself. But get real, Cain! I

understand that she wasn’t whole heartedly supporting this kid outright, but the way it is

presented does gleam with a bit of positivity, and it just struck an incredibly sour chord with me.

It’s still nearly hard for me to believe.

Now that I’ve spent a good amount of time, as I usually do, ranting about the things that

pissed me off, I’m gonna turn over to the things I did like about this chapter. Or more like thing,

I suppose. That thing was the idea of a blend of fixed personality and free personality traits.

Specifically, the idea that she brings up on page 209 that “According to Free Trait Theory, we

are born and culturally endowed with certain personality traits… but we can do and act out of

character in the service of ‘core personal projects’”.

I see a lot of myself in this philosophy. The deeper we get into this book, the more I

realize that I lie somewhere comfortably in the middle of this spectrum. This emerged again

when I took the quiz of how much of a self-monitor I am, returning 7 of 8 yesses for being a high

self-monitor and 3 of 5 yesses for low self-monitoring. It’s hard to compare, given the small size

of questions and the relatively high margin for error, but I feel like it’s an even enough split.

Some of the answers were also influenced by my training as an actor.

Many people regard me to be primarily extroverted. As you know from Marge, when I’m

on an STLF trip, I’m constantly in overdrive, ready to bounce from service project to bonding

activity. Similarly, when I’m working on theatre projects, I find myself consistently energized

and ready to do work. However, almost every day when I get home from school I feel the need to

just lay down and relax for a bit to unwind from being out and about all day. I do very poorly in

social situations where things are outside of my control, and oftentimes find myself falling short

in conversation with people I’m not too familiar with where it doesn’t feel comfortable to dive

into a deeper conversation. All of these things point to me being more introverted, with a

stronger sense of self-monitoring. The only issue I have with this theory is that I never feel like I

have to try and be ‘extroverted’ when I’m energized and ready to go. Maybe it has to do with the

fact that I am more ambiverted, or maybe I’ve become so used to it that I don’t even notice it

anymore. Either way, that would have to be something to be explored at a later date, because I’m

already pushing three pages, so I’m gonna wrap it up here.