Chapter 8 Interpersonal Attraction. Social Needs Around the world and across age- groups, most...
-
Upload
jeremy-singleton -
Category
Documents
-
view
212 -
download
0
Transcript of Chapter 8 Interpersonal Attraction. Social Needs Around the world and across age- groups, most...
Chapter 8
Interpersonal Attraction
Social Needs Around the world and across age-
groups, most people spend about 3/4s of their time with other people.
People want not merely the presence of others but close ties to people who care about them.
Infant Attachment Attachment means that an infant
responds positively to specific others, feels better when they are close, and seeks them out when frightened.
Infant Attachment Attachment provides a sense of
security Attachment provides information
about the environment via social referencing
Infant Attachment Mary Ainsworth (1978) identified
three major attachment styles Secure Avoidant Anxious/ambivalent
Infant Attachment Attachment is adaptive Attachment suggests that the
tendency to form relationships is at least partly biologically based.
Benefits of Social Relations Attachment (comfort & security)
Social integration (shared interests & attitudes)
Reassurance of Worth Sense of Reliable Alliance (help in times of
need)
Guidance Opportunity for Nurturance
Weiss (1974)
Benefits of Social Relations No single relationship can fulfill all
our social needs
Loneliness The subjective discomfort we feel
when our social relations lack some important feature
Loneliness Different from aloneness, or the
objective state of being apart from others
People are somewhat more likely to feel lonely when they are alone Especially if social norms dictate that
one “should” be with others (e.g., Saturday night)
Loneliness About 1 in 4 Americans reports feeling
very lonely in the past 2 weeks Situational loneliness occurs due to life
changes Chronic loneliness occurs for about
10% of Americans regardless of the situation
Possible biological basis Associated with depression, substance abuse,
and illness
Loneliness No segment of society is immune Children of divorced parents, shy
people, people with lower self-esteem, poor people, and single people are more at risk
Loneliness Contrary to stereotype, teenagers
and young adults are more at risk than the elderly
Not clear if this is a “generation gap” in willingness to report feelings, a function of greater life transitions among the young, or greater social skills and more realistic expectations among the elderly
Basic Principles of Attraction
Basic principles
In general… We like people who like us. We like people who satisfy our
needs. We like people when the rewards
they provide outweigh the costs (social exchange theory)
Basic principles
Specific Determinants of Liking… Proximity Familiarity Similarity Personal Qualities of the Other
Proximity The best single predictor of
whether two people will be friends is how far apart they live
Proximity Festinger, Schachter, & Back’s
(1950) Westgate West study Residents were randomly assigned
to apartments within the building. The closer people lived, the more
friendly they became with each other.
Proximity Why does proximity have an effect?
Ease of availability Lower cost in terms of time, money,
forethought Cognitive dissonance pressures to like
those with whom we must associate The mere anticipation of interaction
increases liking
Familiarity The mere exposure effect : simply
being exposed to a person (or other stimulus) tends to increase liking for it
Familiarity
2
2.5
3
3.5
4 Participants were shown photos of different faces. The number of times each face was seen was varied. The more people saw a face, the more they liked it (Zajonc, 1968).0 1 2 5 1
025Frequen
cy
Liki
ng
Familiarity Why does familiarity promote
liking? Evolutionarily adaptive Improved recognition is a 1st step to
liking Familiar is more predictable Familiar is assumed to be similar to
self
Familiarity Limits to Mere Exposure
Most effective if stimulus is initially viewed as positive or neutral
Pre-existing conflicts between people will get intensified, not decrease, with exposure
There is an optimal level of exposure: too much can lead to boredom and satiation
Similarity We like others who are similar to
us in attitudes, interests, values, background & personality
Similarity Newcomb (1961) assigned
roommates to be either very similar or very dissimilar and measured liking at the end of the semester. Those who were similar liked each other while those who were dissimilar disliked each other
Similarity Much research on similarity uses
the phantom-other technique, where the so-called other person is really a carefully scripted set of answers to a questionnaire.
Many studies using this technique show the high relationship between similarity & liking
Similarity In romantic relationships, the
tendency to choose similar others is called the matching principle.
People tend to match their partners on a wide variety of attributes
age, intelligence, education, religion, attractiveness, height
But friendship and love can transcend differences in background
Similarity Why do people prefer similar
others? Similar others are more rewarding. Interacting with similar others
minimizes the possibility of cognitive dissonance
We expect to be more successful with similar others.
Similarity What mechanisms foster similarity
in close relationships? Selective attraction Social influence Shared environmental factors
As people interact with similar others, they tend to become even more similar
Similarity Limits to Similarity
Differences can be rewarding Differences allow people to pool-
shared knowledge and skills to mutual benefit
Similarity can be threatening when someone similar to us experiences an unfortunate fate
Desirable Personal Attributes There are large individual and
cross-cultural differences in the characteristics that are preferred.
Within the U.S., the most-liked characteristics are those related to trustworthiness.
Two other much-liked attributes are personal warmth and competence.
Desirable Personal Attributes
Warmth People appear warm when they have
a positive attitude and express liking, praise, and approval
Nonverbal behaviors such as smiling, attentiveness, and expressing emotions also contribute to perceptions of warmth
Desirable Personal Attributes Competence
We like people who are socially skilled, intelligent, and competent.
The type of competence that matters most depends on the nature of the relationship.
E.g., social skills for friends, knowledge for profs However, being “too perfect” can be off-
putting
Desirable Personal Attributes
The personal qualities that initially attract us to someone can sometimes turn out to be fatal flaws to a relationship
E.g., the “fun-loving” boyfriend who is later dismissed as “immature”
About 30% of breakups fit this description.
Physical Attractiveness Other things being equal, we tend
to like attractive people more.
Physical Attractiveness One reason we like more attractive
people is that they are believed to possess other good qualities. In fact, more attractive people may
be more socially skilled. They are also believed to be more
intelligent, dominant, & mentally healthy.
Physical Attractiveness In a classic study on
the importance of physical attractiveness, college students were randomly assigned to each other as dates for an evening. People who were more attractive were better liked by their date (Walster et al., 1966).
Physical Attractiveness Other Effects of Attractiveness
Physically attractive people are more likely to receive help, job recommendations, and more lenient punishments
People who are disabled are stereotyped as unattractive.
Physical Attractiveness People who are obese are
stigmatized and face discrimination in the workplace. The negative view occurs because
people are seen as responsible for their weight.
Anti-fat prejudice is strongest in individualistic cultures (Crandall et al., 2001).
Physical Attractiveness Who is Attractive?
Culture plays a large role in standards of attractiveness.
However, people do tend to agree on some features that are seen as more attractive:
Statistically “average” faces Symmetrical or balanced faces
Physical Attractiveness Why does attractiveness matter?
People believe attractiveness is correlated with other positive characteristics
Being associated with an attractive other leads a person to be seen as more attractive him or herself
According to evolutionary theory, attractiveness may provide a clue to health and reproductive fitness
Sex Differences in Mate Selection For both sexes, characteristics such as
dependability, maturity, and pleasantness are most important.
Men rank physical attractiveness higher.
Women rank financial resources higher. Men prefer younger partners, while
women prefer older partners.
Love Most people in the United States
today believe that love is essential for a successful marriage. In the U.S., love is seen as more
important today than it was in the 1960s.
Romantic love is seen as more important in individualistic cultures than it is in collectivist cultures.
Love The experience of romantic love
differs from person to person, culture to culture, and over historical time.
Most of the studies have been done on young white middle-class adults in the U.S., so we need to be cautious about generalizing.
Love: Feelings% reporting
Strong feeling of well-being 79
Difficulty concentrating 37
“Floating on a cloud” 29
“Wanted to run, jump, & scream”
22
“Nervous before dates” 22
“Giddy & carefree” 20
Strong physical sensations (e.g., butterflies in the stomach)
20
Insomnia 12
Love: Thoughts Three basic themes:
Attachment Caring Trust & Self-Disclosure
Rubin (1970, 1973)
Love: Behaviors Verbal expressions, e.g., “I love you.” Physical expression, e.g., hug & kiss Verbal self-disclosure Nonverbal display of happiness near other Material signs, e.g., presents, helping Nonmaterial signs, e.g., encouragement,
interest, respect Making sacrifices to maintain the
relationship
Love Passionate Love
Wildly emotional Uncontrollable Physiological arousal Preoccupation with
other Idealization of other
Strikes suddenly, fades quickly
Companionate Love Affection we feel for
those w/whom our lives are intertwined
Trust Caring Tolerance
Develops slowly, basis for enduring relationship
Love Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of
LoveINTIMACY
PASSION
COMMITMENT
Liking
Consummate Love
Fatuous Love
Romantic Love
Companionate Love
Empty LoveInfatuation
Jealousy a reaction to perceived threat to the
continuity or quality of a relationship More likely to be jealous are people
who are Highly dependent Have few alternative relationships More insecure
Jealousy Sex Differences
Men get more jealous of sexual infidelity
“paternity certainty” threatened Women get more jealous of emotional
infidelity Fear of loss of resource support for rearing
offspring Much but not all work supports an
evolutionary interpretation
Adult Romantic Attraction Secure, Avoidant,
Anxious/Ambivalent The proportion of adults classified
these ways is similar to the proportion of infants
However, unlike with children, adult attachments are reciprocal, between peers, and sexual.
Adult Romantic Attraction Many theorists believe that infant
attachment to caregivers provides a “working model” for adult relationships. There is some evidence for continuity. However, attachment style may
change if a person has a significant attachment-related event (e.g., divorce, abuse, etc.)
Adult Romantic Attraction In general, people with a secure
attachment style have more satisfying, committed, close, and well-adjusted relationships than avoidant people.
Secure people are more responsive to their partner’s needs than avoidant or anxious people.