Chapter 2

Expand Your Emotional Intelligence

• Describe a time when you were angry and lost control or had an outburst.– How did you feel?– How did others react?– What would you do differently?

Intelligence

• What is intelligence?• What do some of you consider to be the

qualities of an intelligent person?

Intelligence

• There is a tendency to describe intelligence as a score on an IQ test or the SAT or as school grades.– Educators have tried to predict who will succeed

in college and have found that high school grades, achievement test scores, and ability are only part of the picture.

– Sadly, we put a lot of emphasis on some of these things.

Emotional Intelligence & Maturity

• Emotional Intelligence is the ability to understand and manage yourself and relate to others.

• Maturity is the ability to control your impulses, to think beyond the moment, and to consider how your words and actions affect yourself and others before you act.– Have you ever had to deal with someone

immature? How was that?

Emotional Intelligence

• You need to be able to regulate emotion in order to be successful at school and work– You cannot blow up at your boss– Cry at work, etc

• Do you know someone who has trouble controlling their emotions?

Good Character

• Good character is an essential personal quality for true success in school, work, and life.– People with good character are honest, caring,

trustworthy, respectful, etc– Employers usually list good character and honesty

as the top two traits for employees followed by the ability to get along with others• Have you ever worked at a place where people just

couldn’t get along? How was that?

Good Character

• Civility: set of tools for interacting with others with respect, kindness, and good manners or etiquette (not being rude)– Have you ever had to deal with someone who did not

have civility• Empathy: understanding and compassion for

others.• Ethics: the principles of conduct that govern a

group or society– Can you name something that is NOT ethical

Good Character

• Cheating: using or providing unauthorized help on projects or exams

• Plagiarism: presenting someone’s ideas as if they were your own – PEN 2.1

Group Activity• Peggy Lyons has a midterm test to take. This test will determine 50% of her final

grade. She has been very busy at home and has not attended class or her study group for the past week. She knows she probably wont do well on the test and she needs a good grade. Someone met Peggy at the cafeteria & told her she has a copy of the test she can buy. What should Peggy do? What would you do?

• While in college Ray Armas has been working part-time at an electronics. Rey’s supervisor, Joe, has worked in the store for over 10 years. Joe is 50 and has a family. This is his only means of support. Rey has discovered that Joe Is stealing some of the electronics components to sell on the side. Rey likes Joe. What should Rey do? What would you do?

• John Richardson has been working at a bank for 15 years. Throughout his years working there he has been a great employee and has been nominated as employee of the year several times. However, his 6 year old son was just diagnosed with cancer. John cannot afford the medicines and treatments his son needs. John knows he can take money that will go unnoticed. What should John do? What would you do?

Responsibility

• Taking responsibility means not blaming others for problems

• Being responsible creates a sense of integrity and a feeling of self-worth.

Self-Control

• If anger was a disease, there would be an epidemic in this country.

• Why do you believe people are so angry?

Tips for Reducing Anger• Calm Down. Step back from the situation and take a deep breath.• Clarify & Define. Determine exactly who you are angry at.

Sometimes we take it out on the wrong person.• Listen with Empathy & Respect. Listen to other’s feelings.• Use “I” statements. Take ownership of feelings and don’t blame

others. There’s a difference between saying “I feel angry” and “You make me angry”

• Focus On One Problem. Don’t start bringing up all the things you dislike about this person.

• Focus On Win-Win Solutions. Focus on how you can both win• Reward Positive Behavior. As you use praise the other person will

exert less resistance.

Self-Esteem & Confidence

• Self-Esteem is how you feel about yourself– People with good self esteem assess themselves

honestly and believe in themselves.• They accept responsibility for their attitudes and

behaviors• They know anger and blame don’t solve problems• Self Esteem Inventory on page 78

Confidence• Confidence can develop from:

– Focusing on your inner strengths and positive qualities. Be yourself and don’t compare yourself to others.

– Learning to be resilient & bouncing back from disappointments and setbacks. Don’t dwell on limitations.

– Use affirmations and visualizations– Take responsibility for your life and don’t blame others. You cannot

control other people’s behaviors, you can only control how you react.– Learning skills that give you confidence.– Focusing on giving, not receiving, and make others feel valued and

appreciated.– Creating a support system by surrounding yourself with confident

people who feel good about themselves and make you feel good about yourself.

A Positive Attitude & Personal Motivation

• Motivation: the inner drive that moves you to action.– What motivates you?

Positive Attitudes

• A positive attitude encourages:– Higher productivity– An openness to learning at school and on the job– School and job satisfaction– Creativity in solving problems and finding solutions– The ability to work with diverse groups of people– Enthusiasm and a “can do” attitude– Confidence and self esteem– The ability to channel stress and increase energy– A sense of purpose or direction

Negative Attitudes

• People who have a negative attitude may:– Feel that they are victims and are helpless to

make a change– Focus on the worst that can happen in a situation– Blame external circumstances for their attitudes– Focus on the negative in people and situations– Look at adversity as something that will last

forever– Be angry and blame other people

Needs & Motivation

• PEN 2.3

Motivational Strategies• Some key strategies to motivate you:

– 1. Act as if you were motivated. Attitude can influence behavior– 2. Use affirmations. If you listen to your self talk you may notice how

negative it can be. Replace negative talk with positive talk.– 3. Use visualization.– 4. Use goals as motivational tools.– 5. Understand expectations.– 6. Study in teams. You can teach each other material and outline main

points. Read each other’s reports. Develop sample quizzes and test each other. Learn to get along with different people.

– 7. Stay physically and mentally healthy. Get plenty of exercise and talk about your problems.

– 8. Learn to reframe. See situations in a new way.– 9. Reward yourself. Decide what your reward will be when you accomplish

something.– 10. Make learning relevant.

The Benefits of Higher Education• Higher Education Encourages Critical Thinking.

– Throughout your college career you will take classes in sociology, psychology, history, etc, where you will learn how people think and behave

• Higher Education is a Smart Financial Investment.– No one can take your education away from you.– College graduates earn an average of $800,000 more than high school

graduates over their entire lifetime.– People who attend 2 years of college tend to:

• Make better decisions• Be willing to learn new skills• Have more hobbies and leisure activities• Have a longer life expectancy• Be healthier • Be more involved in the community• Have more discipline and perseverance• Have more self-confidence• Learn to adapt to change

The Benefits of Higher Education

• Higher Education Prepares You for Life on the Job– College will give you skills you need for your

future job

Overcome Obstacles

• Don’t Get Discouraged– Most people get discouraged at some point– Everyone gets off course at some point, but the

key is knowing set backs are part of life.– Don’t allow setbacks to make you feel like you

have failed.– Find a formula that works for you.

Starting Today You Should:

• Focus on being motivated and positive• Focus on your successes and accomplishments• Surround yourself with positive, supportive, and

encouraging friends• Tell yourself “this is a setback, not a failure”• Learn self control and self management

strategies• Make certain you are physically renewed; get

more rest, exercise more, and do something you love every day

Most Common Reasons Students Do Not Graduate

• Between 30 and 50% of college students do not graduate. The top reasons are:– 1. Poor study skills and habits.– 2. Lack of time management skills– 3. Lack of preparation for the demands and requirements of college– 4. Inability to handle the freedom of college.– 5. Too much partying.– 6. Lack of motivation or purpose– 7. Failure to attend class regularly– 8. Failure to ask for help clearly.– 9. Lack of effort and time spent in studying– 10. Failure to take responsibility for education– Which one do you struggle with most?

Create Positive Mind Shifts

• Create a support system• Reprogram your mind• Use critical thinking• Use creative thinking• Take responsibility• Learn new skills• Use the whole of your intelligence

Group Work

• Complete page 75