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Clark & addison EpisodE XVii - “GEarinG Up For

CUBs opEninG daY“

WEAGHMAN’S PARK WAS THE ACTUAL NAME AND STRUCTURE THAT STANDS NOW AS WRIGLEY FIELD. NEARLY A CENTURY AGO THE WRIG-LEYS PURCHASED WEAGHMAN’S PARK AND THE REST IS CUBS HISTORY. WEAGHMAN’S PARK IS NOW THE NAME OF A FICTIONAL WISCONSIN THEME 20 SOMETHING HANGOUT. WEAGHMAN’S PARK IS LOCATED AT THE INTERSECTION OF CLARK AND ADDISON STREETS IN CHICAGO - A SNOWBALL’S THROW AWAY FROM WRIGLEY FIELD ITSELF. THE SIMPLE YET VERY SUCCESSFUL BUSINESS PLAN ATTRACTS “BORDER” WISCON-SIN PEOPLE COMING DOWN FOR A GAME, AS WELL AS CHICAGOANS LOOKING FOR SOME LEINENKUGEL BEER AND ZUERCHER CHEESE. THE CUBS NOW ARE BEYOND A CENTURY OF FUTILITY IN NOT WINNING A WORLD SERIES TITLE - YET HAVE TOP TIER LOYAL FANS. THE BALL PARK AT THE CORNER OF CLARK AND ADDISON BOASTS SELL - OUTS GAME AFTER GAME. JOIN US AS 20 SOMETHINGS KERI, THE ULTIMATE TOM-BOY, AND JOSH, A RECENT MBA/LAW GRAD FROM THE UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO, GIVE GREAT INSIGHT TO THE UPCOMING CUBS OPENING DAY AND SEASON.

JOSHBOY DID I GET AN EARFUL FROM MY MOM LAST NIGHT.

KERII BET I KNOW WHAT THAT IS ABOUT.

JOSHYES YOU PROBABLY DO. IT IS TIME FOR ME TO WELL...........YOU KNOW ENTER THE REAL WORLD.C

KERIHAS YOUR MOM EVER COME TO WEAGHMAN’S PARK?

JOSHYES, MOM AND DAD CAME DOWN LAST YEAR AFTER THE CUBS WERE ELIMINATED FROM THE PLAYOFFS. WEAGHMAN’S PARK BECAME SLOWLY A QUIET PLACE, AND I HAD SOME TIME TO SPEND TALKING TO THEM.

KERIWELL I REMEMBER YOUR MOM. ¬SHE IS NOT QUIET AND EASY GOING.

JOSHNO KIDDING. BUT SHE WAS PRETTY GOOD THAT DAY, BUT NOT YESTER-DAY. SHE BLEW UP BIG TIME.

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KERII KNEW SHE’D LET LOOSE ON YOU ONE OF THESE DAYS. LOOK JOSH YOU’VE BEEN HERE FOR MANY MONTHS AFTER GRADUATING SUMMA CUM LAUDE AT THE UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO LAW AND MBA SCHOOL. MOST PEOPLE CANNOT EVEN GET INTO THOSE SCHOOLS, AND YOU ARE A STAR PUPIL. DO YOU REALIZE HOW MANY FINANCIAL OR LEGAL FIRMS IN THIS CITY WANT YOUR SERVICES FOR 30 TIMES YOUR WEAGHMAN’S PARK SALARY?

JOSHTHAT IS NOT THE POINT. YOU ARE CONCERNED ABOUT MONEY. MELA-NIE WAS CONCERNED ABOUT MONEY.

KERISO THAT BOTTOM FEEDING WOMAN ONLY CARED ABOUT CATCHING A GUY SO SHE COULD ENJOY THE GOLD COAST LIFE STYLE?

JOSHNO, IT REALLY WASN’T THAT. I WASN’T INTERESTED IN A SERIOUS GIRLFRIEND LEADING TO A MARRIAGE YET. THAT WILL COME. SOME GUYS ARE SLOW AND I’M...........

KERIJOSH, YOU ARE SO SLOW OUT OF THE BLOCKS. MOST GUYS WITH YOUR REPERTOIRE WOULD HAVE 2 TO 3 KIDS AND A CUTE WIFE, AN SUV AND A CROSSOVER, A CABIN UP NEAR THE BORDER OR BEYOND, MONTHLY DELLS TRIPS WITH KIDS, AND SEASON TICKETS TO ELLIOTT’S PLAYS DOWNTOWN.

JOSHYES I DID OK AT THE UNIVERSITY OF “NO FUN”. BUT LIFE GROWING UP IN CHICAGO WOULD BE OH SO MUCH BETTER IF WE COULD ONLY WIN ONE WORLD SERIES. JUST ONE.

KERIBY “NO FUN” UNIVERSITY YOU MEAN THE UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO - WHICH BOASTS MORE NOBEL PRIZE WINNERS THAN ANYONE, ESTABLISHED STANDARDS IN MANY MAJOR INDUSTRIES, PRODUCES MORE BOOKS WITH THEIR OWN PUBLICATION BUSINESSES, AND HAS ENDOWMENTS BEYOND 8 FIGURES.

JOSHYOU DON’T GET IT. THE UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO WAS MORE DIFFI-CULT THAN MOST PEOPLE THINK.

KERISO YOU MET YOUR MATCH.

JOSHYES I WAS TIRED AFTER RAMMING THROUGH THAT MBA/LAW PRO-GRAM IN 3 AND HALF YEARS.

Keri & Josh

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KERISO YOU STOPPED LIFE AND ARE TRYING TO LIVE OUT A KID’S DREAM OF WATCHING THE CUBS WIN A SERIES?

JOSHYES. IT IS THAT SIMPLE. I GREW UP HOPING AND PRAYING WITH ALL THE GREATS OF THE PAST LIKE RYNO - WHO THANK GOD IS IN COOPER-STOWN. BUT THERE WERE OTHERS LIKE MARK GRACE, KERRY WOOD, ¬ANDRE DAWSON, FERGIE JENKINS, AND SUTCLIFFE.

KERILET ME SEE FOR RYNO: 5 GAMES CONSECUTIVELY HOMERING - NOT BEEN DONE SINCE HACK WILSON 68 YEARS EARLIER, 344 STOLEN BASES - A RECORD FOR A SECOND BASEMAN, 277 HOMERS BREAKING AT THAT TIME JOE MORGAN’S HOMER RECORD OF 266 FOR A SECOND BASEMAN, AND ONLY NINE GOLD GLOVES. AND THAT 40 HOMER SEASON WAY BACK IN THE EARLY 90S.

JOSHTHERE IS NOT ONE GIRL IN CHICAGO THAT COULD RELATE THOSE STATS YOU JUST SHOVED OUT. AMAZING FOR A GIRL.

KERIWELL, WHEN CUTE GUYS JUST DON’T COME AROUND, ONE MIGHT AS WELL KEEP PACE WITH THE CUBS.

JOSHBUT YOU’VE BEEN A FAN EVER SINCE YOU COULD REMEMBER.

KERIOH MY GOSH - I WAS A FAN INSIDE OF MY MOM. I HAVE PICTURES OF ME AS A BABY WITH CUB GEAR.

JOSHYES I REMEMBER SEEING THOSE WHEN WE VISITED YOUR HOUSE IN JUNIOR HIGH. WELL WE ALL THOUGHT.......

KERINO I’M NOT ONE OF THOSE WHO FELT LIKE I WAS DISPLACED AND SHOULD HAVE BEEN A GUY. I STILL LIKE GIRL STUFF LIKE DRESSES, MAKE UP, CUTE GUYS, SMALL TALK, AND TWITTER TALK.

JOSHWELL YOU ARE THE ULTIMATE GIRL THEN. A GOOD CATCH. A WIFE WHO WOULDN’T SCREAM AT THEIR HUSBAND WHILE HE IS INTENTLY WATCHING THE BEARS GETTING CRUSHED EVERY SUNDAY.

KERIAND I’M AVAILABLE.

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JOSHYES IT SOUNDS LIKE IT. I HEARD MELANIE WENT OUT WITH SAM AGAIN LAST WEEK. SOMEONE SAW THEM AT BERNIE’S.

KERISHE CAN HAVE HIM. SHE WILL CHASE SAM INTO HIS GRAVE. WE WERE SO CLOSE. CAN YOU IMAGINE I WAS SITTING DOWN WITH THE MEDICAL ESTABLISHMENT OF LAKE FOREST HOSPITAL AS A LIVE IN GIRLFRIEND AND PROBABLE UPCOMING MARRIED DOC’S WIFE AT THAT RECRUITING MEETING?

JOSHYES IT IS AMAZING.

KERII CANNOT FATHOM HOW EMBARRASSED I WAS WHEN THAT OLDER ANESTHESIOLOGIST’S WIFE ASKED IF WE WERE REALLY EVER PLANNING ON GETTING MARRIED. WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT WITHOUT PUNCH-ING HER OUT?

JOSHWELL IT IS NOW HISTORY, OR IS IT?

KERII FEEL IT IS HISTORY. SAM TWEETS ME ONCE IN A WHILE TO FIND OUT WHAT IS GOING ON AT WEAGHMAN’S PARK, BUT WOULD HE EVER TELL ME HE WAS OVER AT BERNIE’S WITH MELANIE?

JOSHBREAKUPS ARE HARD TO DO. THAT IS WHY I DON’T SERIOUSLY DATE UNTIL I’M READY.

KERITHEY SAY GUYS ARE 2 - 3 YEARS BEHIND GIRLS, BUT I FEEL IT IS 2 - 3 DECADES.

JOSHALL I KNOW IS THAT OPENING DAY IS UPON US, RYNO WILL I’M CERTAIN BE HONORED AGAIN FOR HIS WRIGLEY MEMORIES, AND IT IS JUST A MATTER OF TIME I FEEL BEFORE HE IS BACK COACHING AT WRIGLEY. CAN YOU IMAGINE THE EXCITEMENT?

KERITHE PEORIA CHIEFS AND TENNESSEE SMOKIES HATED TO SEE HIM GO. I’M CERTAIN THEY WILL HAVE A PARADE FOR HIM WHEN HE LEAVES ¬DES MONIES. HE HAS REALLY HELPED THE CUBS FARM SYSTEM. HE IS A KEEPER. LOU HAS THIS YEAR BEFORE THE NEW OWNER RELEASES HIM. AND YOU NEVER KNOW WITH LOU. I FEEL THIS YEAR HE WILL PUT UP WITH ZERO COMPLAINTS OR EXCUSES FROM ANYONE INCLUDING HIMSELF.

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JOSHLOU’S CONTRACT RUNS OUT THIS YEAR, AND I FEEL HE ONLY CARES ABOUT WINNING, NOT CONTRACT RENEWALS. LOU HAS ENOUGH MONEY TO PROBABLY BUY THE HANCOCK BUILDING. IT ISN’T ABOUT MONEY.

KERIWITH SOME NEW BLOOD LIKE STARLIN CASTOR AT SHORTSTOP POTEN-TIALLY, SAMARDZIJA IN THE STARTING ROTATION DUE TO GUZMAN’S INJURY, AND ANOTHER NEW GUY VITTERS BEGINNING TO HIT THE BALL ALL OVER THE CACTUS LEAGUE, WE WILL BE IN GOOD SHAPE.

JOSHAPRIL 12 IS D-DAY FOR THE CUBS AT HOME. BUT I FEEL IT ISN’T THE APRIL 12 DEADLINE; FOR LOU IT IS NOW OR NEVER. THESE GUYS BETTER FIELD, PITCH, HIT, AND PLAY AGGRESSIVE BASEBALL FROM THE VERY START.

KERIAGREED. WE ARE DOING OK IN THE CACTUS LEAGUE. WE MANAGED TO BEAT THE SOX YESTERDAY WITH A BIG RALLY IN THE SEVENTH.

JOSHI HOPE THESE NEW FACES COMPLEMENT THE OLD. THIS NEW GUY COLVIN HAS BEEN BANGING THE BALL ALSO IN WINTER AND CACTUS LEAGUE WITH A TWO OUT TRIPLE YESTERDAY IN ARIZONA.

KERIDO YOU REALIZE THAT RYNO WENT 1 FOR 31 IN 1982 WHEN HE FIRST STARTED, AND THE MANAGER KEPT HIM IN THE LINEUP?

JOSHNOT DISSIMILAR TO WILLIE MAYS WHO WAS 1 FOR 25 IN HIS ROOKIE FIRST AT BATS FOR THE NEW YORK GIANTS BACK IN 1951. MAYS ENDED UP MAKING SOME HUGE PLAYS IN THE PENNANT CHASE WHEN THEY WERE 13 AND A HALF BACK IN MID AUGUST LEADING TO THOMSON’S HOMER OCT. 3, 1951 AT 3: 39 PM IN THE POLO GROUNDS.

KERIWOW JOSH! WHAT A BASEBALL MEMORY. WHERE DID YOU PULL THAT OUT OF - THE BACK END OF YOUR BRAIN?

JOSHTHIS IS JUST COMMON BASEBALL KNOWLEDGE. ANYWAY WITH THESE YOUNG STARS, NO ONE IS REALLY TAKING THE CUBS SERIOUSLY THIS YEAR. WE HAVE A WINNING CACTUS LEAGUE RECORD. AND OUR WINTER LEAGUE BALL IN ARIZONA AND THE CARIBBEAN THIS YEAR WAS DECENT.

KERIALREADY THIS CUB TEAM IS OFFERING UP INJURY EXCUSES.

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JOSHYES AND NO. LOU HAS SAID THAT ¬CASTRO WILL PLAY DAILY SOME-WHERE. CHIRINOS AND VETTERS ARE VYING FOR PLAYING TIME. THE VETERANS ARE BEING PUSHED. HECK IF THERIOT DOESN’T PRODUCE AT SHORT, HE WON’T BE THERE. REMEMBER THE GUY BARNEY IS A CLUTCH HITTER AND A DECENT FIELDER. WE ARE DEEP. OBVIOUSLY IT MAY ALL DEPEND ON PITCHING TO KEEP US IN THE HUNT FOR THE NL CENTRAL.

KERILOU WILL GO FOR IT ALL. RYNO IS NOW IN IOWA, AND THE NEXT LOGICAL MANAGER OF THE CUBS. WOULDN’T THIS PLACE GO BONKERS WITH SANDBERG BACK AT WRIGLEY. IF WE SLUMP EARLY, I DOUBT IF RICKETTS WILL PUT UP WITH MUCH AND MAY ASK FOR LOU’S RETIRE-MENT.

JOSHBUT WE MUST REMEMBER THAT LOU PINELLA IS NO PUSHOVER. HE’LL BE HEARD BEFORE THE SEASON EVEN BEGINS. I GIVE US A DECENT SHOT THIS YEAR - MAINLY BECAUSE THE ENTIRE WORLD HAS GIVEN UP ON US.

KERIEXCEPT THE FIERCELY LOYAL CUB FANS - WHO WILL BE OUT BY THE DROVES ON APRIL 12. WE NEED TO KEEP THE INTEREST PEAKING SO THIS CLUB PERFORMS WELL. THESE GUYS WILL HAVE A FULL HOUSE EVERY DAY AND NIGHT IF RICKETTS ENACTS ALL THE MEASURES HE HAS BEEN DISCUSSING.

JOSHWELL I THINK WITH DAILY INVOLVEMENT BY RICKETTS FROM THE TOP, WE HAVE TO BE BETTER. THE TRIBUNE CARED VERY LITTLE ABOUT THIS TEAM.

KERII FULLY AGREE. NOW DID YOU GET TWO OPENING DAY TICKETS FOR US?

JOSHYES I DID. I’M SHARING TICKETS BEHIND HOME PLATE WITH A GUY FROM JANESVILLE WHO SAYS I CAN HAVE THEM WHEN HE ISN’T DRIV-ING DOWN FROM THE BORDER.

KERIOH I SEE, WE GET WHAT IS LEFT OVER.

JOSHNOT REALLY. WE ARE SPLITTING THE TICKETS 50 50, BUT HE HAS FIRST RIGHTS TO OPENING DAY, BREWERS GAMES, AND COLORADO.

KERIWHAT ARE FOLKS SEEING IN THIS COLORADO TEAM? I DON’T GET IT?

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JOSHWELL HE IS STILL A BREWER FAN, BUT ALSO LOVES THE CUBS. AFTER MILWAUKEE LOST THE BRAVES, THERE WAS A TIME WHEN ALL THE BORDER PEOPLE WANDERED DOWN TO WRIGLEY. TICKETS WERE HOT, AND THIS GUY WHO FREQUENTS WEAGHMAN’S PARK GOT A GREAT DEAL ON SOME LONG STANDING CUB TICKETS RIGHT BEHIND THE PLATE. HE HAS NEVER RELINQUISHED THE TICKETS.

KERIJOSH, PLEASE ANSWER THE QUESTION. WHAT HAS THIS JANESVILLE GUY GOT WITH COLORADO?

JOSHEVERYONE LOVES THE ROCKIES. THE PAST COUPLE YEARS THEY HAVE BEEN SO COMPETITIVE IN THE PLAYOFFS. LOTS OF GOOD YOUNG TALENT.

KERIAND HE DOESN’T WANT CARDS TICKETS?

JOSHWE’VE GOT ST. LOUIS. THERE WILL BE A TON OF BOOING WHEN MCQUIRE RETURNS HERE.

KERIWE DON’T HAVE A LOT OF ROOM TO TALK. HECK SOSA’S BODY AND NUMBERS BALLOONED IN 1997, AND NO ONE THOUGHT TWICE ABOUT STEROIDS.

JOSHI’M NOT CERTAIN WHAT TO MAKE OF ALL THIS OTHER THAN THEY WILL CALL THIS THE STEROID ERA IN MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL.

KERICAN YOU IMAGINE IF SOSA RETURNED TO WRIGLEY?

JOSHRICKETTS WOULD NEVER ALLOW THAT TO HAPPEN. HE IS BUILDING ON POSITIVE STUFF.

KERILIKE BRINGING RYNO UP THROUGH THE RANKS. HEY THOSE GUYS BACK THERE WOULD CERTAINLY APPRECIATE SOME MORE ZUERCHER CHEESE PLATES. THEY ARE SAYING KEEP DUMPING ON THE BABY SWISS.

JOSHTHOSE GUYS WILL EAT ANYTHING AS YOU CAN SEE. THEY WOULD COME IN HERE FOR BREAKFAST IF THEY COULD. THEY ARE GETTING READY FOR OPENING DAY LIKE WE ARE.

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KERII WOULD HAVE NEVER KNOWN WHERE STOUT WAS IF I DIDN’T GET THAT INFO FROM YOU. THOSE STOUT SHIRTS ARE PRETTY COOL. MAYBE I COULD ORDER ONE ON LINE....OR YOU COULD GET ME ONE FOR MY BIRTHDAY.

JOSHI’LL HAVE THESE GUYS GET YOU ONE. THEY ARE ALWAYS HERE, HAVE A GREAT TIME, AND NEARLY DRINK THE PLACE DRY.

KERII SEE THEY LOVE THAT LEINIES BOCK.

JOSHIT IS ALL THEY DRINK. ONCE IN A WHILE THEY DRINK THE WHEAT, BUT IT IS THE 1888 BOCK THEY REALLY WANT.

KERISO YOU HAVEN’T HEARD ANYTHING FROM THAT LAKE GENEVA GIRL IN A WHILE HAVE YOU?

JOSHNO SHE IS OUT OF THE PICTURE. SHE WANTED TO GET SERIOUS. AND BE-SIDES THAT SHE WAS SO SPOILED. HER PARENTS WERE VERY NICE, BUT BOWED TO HER TANTRUMS AND ADOLESCENT DEMANDS JUST TO KEEP THE PEACE. DID I TELL YOU THEY EVEN HAD A MANSION ON THE LAKE?

KERIUNLIKE YOUR MOM, WHO I KNOW HAS LAID IT ON THE LINE FOR YOU THIS YEAR.

JOSHYES MOM HAS LAID IT ON THE LINE. SHE IS READY TO DISOWN ME IF I CONTINUE WORKING HERE AT WEAGHMAN’S PARK. HOWEVER MOST FOLKS CAN’T IMAGINE, AND THE UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO MBA PRO-GRAM WOULD COLLAPSE IF THEY KNEW HOW MUCH WEAGHMAN’S PARK IS A PURE CASH COW.

KERIWELL THAT IS GREAT. BUT DO YOU REALLY SEE YOURSELF DOWN HERE 10 YEARS FROM NOW? YOU REALLY NEED TO GET MOVING JOSH.

JOSHIN TEN YEARS I WON’T BE HERE - UNLESS THE CUBS ARE STILL TRYING TO WIN A WORLD SERIES. IF THE CUBS ARE TO WIN A SERIES HOWEVER, I FEEL IT IS WITH LOU PINELLA. RYNO MAY RETURN HERE, BUT WE MUST REMEMBER EVEN HE COULDN’T WIN A SERIES AS A PLAYER. THE LACK OF A SERIES WIN NEARLY KEPT HIM OUT OF THE HALL OF FAME.

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KERIWITH OPENING DAY AT WRIGLEY ONLY A MONTH AWAY, I’M SENSING THE CROWD AROUND WRIGLEYVILLE IS GROWING RESTLESS. THEY WANT THIS YOUNG TALENT ON THE FIELD. THEY WON’T PUT UP WITH Z’S TANTRUMS, RAMIREZ’S’S MOODS, AND SORIANO’S ANTICS. ¬SOTO HAS TO HIT LIKE HE DID AS A ROOKIE. FONTENOT HAS TO FLAT OUT PRODUCE. FUKUDOME HAS TO WAKE UP, FIELD, AND PLAY HARD AND NOT JUST IN SPURTS.

JOSHI’D CALL DEREK THEIR LEADER. HE WILL NEED TO PRODUCE A TON THIS YEAR.

KERIOUR PITCHING IS A MESS. WE DON’T EVEN KNOW BY A LONG SHOT WHO OUR STARTERS ARE, WHO THE SET UP MAN FOR MARMOL WILL BE, AND ROTHSCHILD NEEDS TO BE A REAL HARD ASS COACH ON SAMARDZIJA. NO EXCUSES.

JOSHYES I AGREE. THIS IS A MAKE OR BREAK YEAR FOR SMARDZIJA. JEFF SEEMS LIKE HE IS STILL AT ¬NOTRE DAME. HE ISN’T BECAUSE HE IS AT WRIGLEY. HE HAS TO PRODUCE. JEFF CANNOT GO BACK TO HIS DORM AND CRY LIKE HE DID WITH NOTRE DAME FOOTBALL.

KERIDON’T BE SO HARD ON MY BOYFRIEND. MAYBE THIS YEAR I’LL FINALLY GET FORMALLY INTRODUCED TO HIM.

JOSHNOW YOU ARE SOUNDING LIKE A REAL GIRL INSTEAD OF A TOMBOY. I CAN’T TELL IF A GUY HAS APPEAL BECAUSE I’M A GUY, BUT HE CER-TAINLY ISN’T CUTE TO MY EYES.

KERIHE IS A BIG HUNK. AND I HOPE HE’S THE 5TH MAN IN THE ROTATION. THAT WAY WHEN WE GO TO GAMES, I’LL GET A REAL CLOSE UP VIEW WHEN HE BATS. AND IF HE PITCHES WELL, HE’LL BE BATTING A TON.

JOSHYOU ARE COUNTING ON ME INVITING YOU TO ALL THESE GAMES?

KERINOT ALL OF THEM. I’LL GO WITH YOUR BUDDY TO THE BREWERS GAMES AND COLORADO. THE REST I’LL JUST HANGOUT WITH YOU AND PROTECT YOU FROM MELANIE.

JOSHWE ARE DRAINING THIS LEINIE’S KEG DRY TONIGHT. BUSINESS IS QUITE GOOD.

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KERIYOU ARE AVOIDING MY REQUEST TO GO TO THE GAMES WITH YOU.

JOSHALL OF THEM. MY GOD KERI. THAT WOULD BE LIKE BEING MARRIED OR ENGAGED.

KERIWELL THAT WOULDN’T BE HALF BAD. ANYWAY HERE COMES THE CROWD: ELLIOTT, WILL, AND OH MY GOD - SAM.

End - Clark and addison XVii