Changing minds2014

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8swellstrategies How to Change Someone’s Mind in 5 Easy Steps Virginia Ginsburg President & Chief Consultant Swell Strategies www.swellstrategies.com

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Transcript of Changing minds2014

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How to Change Someone’s Mind in 5 Easy Steps

Virginia GinsburgPresident & Chief Consultant

Swell Strategieswww.swellstrategies.com

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The ability to change other people’s minds is a critical skill for every entrepreneur. It’s important in:

• Recruiting • Sales• Fundraising• Negotiations• Partnerships

Changing Minds: The Opportunity

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The biggest problem entrepreneurs make when trying to change someone’s mind is treating it like a contact sport.

If you try to change someone’s mind forcefully, they might agree with you just to get away from you, but they aren’t actually convinced.

Changing Minds: The Problem

Looks Painful!

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There are 5 easy steps to truly change minds:

1. Ask questions

2. Clarify goals

3. Use inclusive language

4. Show (don’t tell)

5. Look for the win-win

Changing Minds: 5 Critical Steps

This is not the response you’re looking for.

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Don’t assume that you and the person you’re talking to are making the same assumptions.

You really don’t know what someone is thinking until you ask them.

Changing Minds: 1. Ask Questions

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Some good questions to ask when you want to change someone’s mind:

1. What is most important to you about this issue?

2. Why does this issue matter to you?

3. What would be a successful outcome for you today?

Changing Minds: 1. Ask Questions

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First, you need to clarify your own goals:

1. Why are you trying to change this person’s mind?

2. What will it mean to you if you succeed?

3. What will happen if you fail?

Changing Minds: 2. Clarify Goals

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Pay attention: if your only goal is to “win,” then you will not succeed at truly changing anyone’s mind.

You also want to understand where the other person is coming from.

Changing Minds: 2. Clarify Goals

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Warning: If you can’t find a common goal, then you might not want to waste your energy on the negotiation.

Changing Minds: 2. Clarify Goals

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Use inclusive language

like:• Can we find a way to

work this out?• I think we both want

the same thing, just in

different ways.• We’re on the same

team, we’re just

disagreeing on the play.

Changing Minds: 3. Use Inclusive Language

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Avoid saying things like:• You always say that• You just don’t

understand• You really aren’t getting

the point

Changing Minds: 3. Use Inclusive Language

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Bring in some relevant examples to show the situation as you see it. For example: • A customer complaint• A new customer

contract• Recent financial figures• Employee interviews

This adds tremendous credibility to your case.

Changing Minds: 4. Show, Don’t Tell

Show Me the Money!

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For Example: If you are trying to get an employee to take more time to grammar and spell-check emails before sending them to customers, show him some customer complaints about his sloppy communication.

Changing Minds: 4. Show, Don’t Tell

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Changing minds is not about winning – it’s about finding the win-win.

Both sides should feel as if they are in agreement.

>> If someone feels like a loser, they haven’t actually changed their mind.

Changing Minds: 5. Look for the win-win

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Look for ways that both of you can feel accomplished at the end of the conversation: • Concede some points

• Incorporate feedback

• Make changes to your original idea

Changing Minds: 5. Look for the win-win

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Changing someone's mind can be surprisingly easy and quick when you approach it with these five concepts in mind vs. as a bulldozer.

Changing Minds: Pretty Easy!

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Good Luck!Virginia Ginsburg

President & Chief Consultant Swell Strategies

www.swellstrategies.com