Change Your Life

How to

Change Your Thoughts

and Change Your Life

by Ian Sharp & Jane Munro

Advanced NLP Therapeutic Specialistswww.NLPCatalysts.com


Copyright © 2007, Ian Sharp and Jane Munro

All rights reserved.

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www.nlpcatalysts.com

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Contents

Introduction: Change Starts Here 5

Start Feeling Good Now 6

Silence Your Internal Critic 9

Attitude – Your New Angle of Approach 11

The Power of Your Language 14

Imagine Your New Image 16

Go and Do It, Be It and Live It 18

Now Take Your Next Step 20


Introduction: Change Starts Here

Welcome to this book which will change the way you think and feel.

You will be able to begin the process of changing how you view the world - how you think about it, and how you feel about it. We can’t always change events that are external to us, but we can always change how we feel about those events and how we react to them. That’s why this e-book is called ‘How to Change Your Thoughts and Change Your Life.’

This book contains techniques that you can put into operation straight away. And you’ll be given the option of doing some self-development exercises specifically designed to make your changes deep and long-lasting. This book also features little-known techniques that you won't find in many mass-market self-help or personal development books.

It's a good idea to make a promise to yourself, now, that because you deserve these changes you will do the exercises.

You may be familiar with the Chinese proverb:

“If I hear I forget.If I see I remember.If I do I make it my own.”

We want you to make these changes your own.

We know that actively reading a book such as this represents a significant investment of your time and energy, and we take the responsibility of working with you to change your life very seriously. We think you’ll be surprised how this book relates specifically to you, even though - naturally - it’s not been written with you specifically in mind. That said, there will be issues that you need individual help with, so do e-mail us with any questions.

So many people are seeking deep changes in their lives, and too many believe it isn’t possible to change. To change we need to break patterns that have been ingrained in us over years. Even patterns that once served us well sometimes need to be broken.


1: Start Feeeling Good Now“You know what? Certain people think they will feel good if certain things

happen … The trick is: You have to feel good for no reason …” Dr. Richard Bandler

Okay let’s dive straight in and start making your changes straight away. After all, that’s why you're reading this, aren’t you - you really want or maybe even need to change.

So many people are stuck where they are because they feel bad - about their lives, their relationships, their jobs and careers, their everything. When they look into the future all they can see is bad stuff - the glass is half empty, if there’s anything in the glass at all.

So how do you think about your past, present, and future? What do you see when you look back into your past? Can you see pictures of events from your past in your mind’s eye? For now, just take note of the quality of those pictures - are they in bright high definition widescreen DVD quality, or are they all murky, sepia, like an old film that’s been badly stored? Oh, and while you’re looking, have a listen - what’s the soundtrack like? High quality 5.1 surround sound, or more like an AM radio at night, when the signal drifts in and out and it’s difficult to make out what’s being said?

You can change how you see and hear your past - and so how you feel about your past too. That’s something we do with our clients when that’s what they need. Why wouldn’t that be worthwhile? Well, here’s something else Dr. Richard Bandler says - ponder on this for a while …

“The best thing about the past is that it’s over. The best thing about the future is that it’s get to come. The best thing about the present is that it’s here now.”

So maybe, just maybe, you don’t need to do any work on your past - just accept it’s gone and whatever happened - happened. It only happened once - or rather, once and then how ever many times you recreate it to live it over and over again. What’s the point of that if it’s making you feel bad?

We’re mind reading now that you’re thinking - “yes, great, but it’s not that easy.” Well, of course, some thoughts and feelings are just too pervasive to dismiss just like that. We can deal with those. So how about sitting down for a spell and beginning to feel good?

We’ll be honest here. This technique can work more effectively when you do it with a skilled therapist, either when you’re both in the same room together, or even over the internet using a webcam. That’s a service we offer, either at The Cambria in Aberystwyth on Tuesday afternoons, or for you - wherever you are in


the world - on the web. All the contact details are at the end of this book when you want to arrange a change.

So here’s the technique. And although we said it works more effectively with a skilled therapist, that still means it’s powerful when you apply it to yourself. See how well you get on. When we present a technique in this book, it’s a good idea to read each one though several times until you’re sure how to apply it. Then you can concentrate on the therapy, not the process. Or download the audio version of the book and treat yourself while you listen.

We’re going to spin some feelings. This will make you feel good - actually, when it’s done to full effect it will make you feel incredible. So sit down, feet planted firmly on the floor, and breathe - really breathe, in through your mouth and out through your nose. In deeply for a count of five, hold it for a count of three, and all the way out. Get that circular breathing running rhythmically. Cool.

Now think of a time when you felt really good. No, we mean really good. Go on, really make it vivid. We want you to feel that good feeling so you get goose bumps and shivers up and down your spine. Maybe it’s a music concert you went to, maybe its lazing blissfully on a sunny beach, maybe it’s that time when … oh, yes, that one. It doesn’t matter what it is so long as it makes you feel wonderful.

Now, where does feeling start? For some people, it’s in their stomach, for others it might be in their chest. Where is it for you? Your answer is automatically correct, so long as you’re really giving attention to your feelings, because this is you we’re talking about, and what works for you works for you. Got it? Okay, now you’ll notice that the feeling is spinning - perhaps its going down though your feet, all the way up into the top of your head, and down your body, circulating round and round. Or it could be going the other way - up and out of the top of your head … or it could be moving in other directions. Got it, moving and spinning and circulating? Maybe it’s got a colour? Maybe it’s glowing, or it’s like a laser beam. Keep it spinning.

Keep it spinning. Now, as you think about that time you felt really really good, notice your feeling spinning faster and faster and faster - oh, and faster still. Go on, really get that feeling spinning and really feel good, feel great, feel wonderful …

… and you’ve only just started, you can feel better that that. When you're feeling better than you’ve ever felt in your life, then you’re getting somewhere … go on spin … spin more … shivers and goose bumps and everything …

Now, keep that feeling. Pinch your thumb and forefinger together at the point when your feelings are the strongest (you can touch any part of your body, so long as you can repeat that touch accurately when you need it - and you might want to make it something you can do in public because you never know when you might want to feel good.) In NLP speak, this is called an anchor.


Okay. Relax. You probably need a cup of tea or coffee or something after that so go and make it and then keep reading.

The thing is, you can make yourself feel fantastic now whenever you wish to. When those bad memories pop up, just fire off the anchor you just created and feel good - and, before long, you’ll be feeling good for no reason at all. Some people think feeling great all the time should be illegal for some reason. We don’t do we?

Right, when you’re ready, put your drink down. it’s time to test our work. You remember that anchor you set? Fire it off now. Put your fingers together or do whatever you did to create your anchor. There you go. How good does that feel?

Now, that may be all you need. For some people, it’s good to do a little extra work to really throw those bad feelings away. If that’s you, contact us and we’ll deal with that too. Or you might want to be able to listen to these instructions while you do them - listen to them in a supremely relaxed trance eyes-closed state. For you, we’ve created an audio version of this book and a very relaxing hypnosis session. Now you’re committed to change your desire to enhance your life is unstoppable.

So, now is the time to turn the page and take more action.


2: Silence Your Internal CriticHow familiar does this seem to you? You have ideas, make plans, and now you even spin your good feelings around those plans. Fantastic. Nothing can go wrong. All you have to do is take action. Except …

At a seemingly random moment, you catch yourself thinking what you might even call ‘realistically’.

“Who am I kidding? I’ll never be able to write that book … get that job … sort my eating out … [insert your issue here] so I might as well stop thinking about it and spent time on the reality of my life. Ah just forget it.”

Have you ever been excited about something you plan to do, only for that excitement to vanish in the middle of the night, or the cold light of day, or whenever that negative thought pops into your mind? Have you ever let that sort of negativity stop you from even starting on your plans, never mind completing them?

Here’s what happened to Ian last night.

“During the day I’d been thinking about our NLP practice and become energised about a workshop I want to run - a perfect space in the diary had arisen, which would feed into another event I’m involved with a couple of weeks later. I went to bed to sleep on the idea.

During the night, I was woken up by one of our dogs. The workshop idea came into my thoughts, as did an almost overwhelming rush of negativity. Here was my internal critic, my little saboteur, trying to put me off the whole thing. I found myself doubting that I would get it organised, that I wouldn’t be ready in time, and that anyway no-one would be interested.

In my past, I would have just agreed with that little gremlin, and ‘got real’. I would have dropped the idea and woken up in the morning knowing I had to think up something else, as yesterday’s idea just wasn’t a runner.

These days I don’t do that. Instead I silenced my internal critic, and you can do the same whenever your critic gives you a bad review. Here’s how. I’m presenting these as a series of steps, but you can choose which applies to you the best. If it works for you, it works, and don’t allow any external critic to tell you you’re doing it wrong. Incidentally, too many of us listen to external critics too - but that’s for another time.”

So, firstly, you need to be able to stop the voice you hear inside your head. If it’s the middle of the night and no-one can see - stick out your tongue. Now hold your tongue between thumb and forefinger and gently squeeze. Go on, practice now. Notice anything? That internal voice is now silent isn’t it? If you’re in company and


this method isn’t an option, simply place your tongue behind your upper front teeth and push it onto your upper palate. Same effect.

Whenever your internal critic speaks, you can now instantly stop him or her - or maybe it used to be an ‘it’?

Here’s another approach. This won’t stop the voice but you’ll never take it seriously again. Listen to your internal critic for a few seconds - notice not so much the words, but the tone of voice. Who is it - you? A parent? A sibling? That negative colleague at work? Well, now think about a cartoon character, one that makes you laugh. Mickey Mouse does it for a lot of people. So hear these critical words spoken by Mickey, or whoever your character is. Are you really going to be put off doing something by a cartoon character? Thought not.

If you have any music software on your computer, and your critical voice is your own, you might be able to record your voice and then apply a filter that turns your voice into one that sounds as if you’ve just inhaled some helium, or another ridiculous effect. Works for us using GarageBand on our Mac - have a play. Record something your critic might say and filter it. This could be fun … but it’s easier and more powerful to do it for yourself in your head to be honest. The computer route is a good alternative if you can’t get started with this.

So there you are, ways of sacking your inner critic. There are other, even more powerful, techniques if you want or need to take this further. The point is that all your ideas are worth exploring fully - in the end, maybe there are good reasons why you decide not to proceed with something. When you’ve explored fully, though, you’re making the right decisions for the right reasons and playing large, which is exactly what the Universe wants you to do.

Next we’ll be exploring the role of language in changing your life, and that will add another layer to your positivity system. Until then, keep cherishing your great ideas.

Turn the page when you're ready to take even more action.


3: Attitude - Your New Angle of Approach

“Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.” ~ Henry Ford.

We’re at the mid-point of this change programme, so let’s have a quick recap. In the first chapter you gathered some excellent techniques for spinning your feelings and feeling good when you started out feeling bad.

Next, you found you were able to change the voice in your head - particularly, the critical voice - into one which could no longer have any influence over your actions, and ultimately you were able to banish the voice entirely. If you download music onto your computer and sometimes delete a song that you’re fed up with hearing - consider deleting your critical voice a similar process.

Just as deleting a file makes more room on your computer’s hard drive for other stuff, so deleting your critical voice makes more room in your head for other - and better – stuff. Have you ever noticed that a computer runs more slowly when the hard drive is nearly full and the desktop covered with clutter? There are some real differences between the human brain and a computer, of course, but enough similarity to make it a useful activity to observe how your computer works and wonder if your brain could work better too.

What these two changes have in common is that they represent a change in your attitude. Attitude is such an important word in this context. Why? Well, look up it’s exact meaning in your dictionary when applied to aircraft - attitude is all about the angle of approach. So, when applied to yourself, when you change your angle of approach you’re changing how you think and feel about something that’s happening in your life, aren’t you?

Your attitude, your angle of approach, deeply affects your outcomes. Let’s think about an aircraft approaching a runway to land. The angle of approach is all important. If the aircraft comes in too steeply it will run out of control and fail to counteract the force of gravity - and end up in a metallic mess on the ground. Not a good outcome. If the aircraft comes in at too shallow an angle it will overshoot the runway and have to come around again - assuming it’s able to climb before it hits the field that lies beyond the landing strip. So the pilot has to get the attitude exactly correct and may well have all sorts of software to assist - or even to take over the task entirely.

Now if we approach a task - or, in the bigger picture - our lives - with the right attitude it’s amazing what we can achieve. That’s the start of releasing and achieving our full potential.

When we go into a situation feeling good we perform better. How many times have you gone into say, a job interview, knowing you had all the qualifications and


experience they were seeking? And have you ever come out feeling like a quivering blob of jelly, because you allowed your nerves to get the better of you? Maybe, if you act, you’ve sometimes found it difficult to go on stage because of nerves - even though you’re excellent once you’re out there? Attitude.

Belief. When you believe in you, other people will have no choice other than to believe in you too. Sometimes it’s enough just to say to yourself that “I can do this”. Sometimes you might want to spin up some wonderful feelings. Sometimes you might want to shut up your internal critic and replace that stupid voice with one that’s telling you how well you’ve done and are about to do.

And there’s more. In the next chapter we’ll be looking at the power of language - techniques that go beyond silencing your critic, that was just the start - and then we’ll be looking at integrating all your have learned so far into the new you.

Before that, though, it’s time for you to get some practice in. Notice how you’re thinking and feeling next time you approach a task, especially if its something you’re not looking forward to. And do what you can, using any of these techniques, to change your attitude and enjoy your task so that you perform well. It doesn’t have to be a job interview or performing on stage, although it could be. Whatever is the next challenge, however large or small, for you.

And then there’s one more part of this. We want to know how you got on. Share your successes, either privately with us or, even better, share your wins with other readers of this book. If the demand is there, we’ll set up a forum especially for our readers, subscribers and clients. Would you use that? Please let us know.


One last thing for this chapter. We know self-help programmes and personal development courses are often relentlessly positive - that’s all part of the attitude. And we also know that’s not always how it goes. Yes, all the ideas we present to you here and elsewhere work - we’ve used them ourselves, and anything we use that doesn’t do it for us we won’t present to you. So, if you’ve used these ideas and not got as good a result as you were expecting, we want to hear about that too. Maybe we can refine your technique, or maybe we can suggest another approach. Our desired outcome is for our clients – you - to get the changes they want and need, and with your commitment and our relentless attitude the changes happen; they’re deep; and they’re permanent.

Turn the page for the ‘linguistic’ aspect of NLP.


4: The Power of Your Language Warning: contains powerful ADULT language.

You may have detected a theme running through all of these powerful suggestions designed to enhance your life. They are all concerned with changes to your language - whether it’s your self-talk, or the language you use to speak with other people.

Sometimes we under-estimate just how powerful language can be. Words create changes. When we process words, we change our feelings and the way we think. When we change the way we think we change the world - well, our little part of it anyway, and if we all change our little part of the world, the world as a whole cannot not change, can it?

When we were right at the start of our training in NLP, we participated in a seminar in which the trainers frequently used the word “fuck”. Now, when Ian was a trainer himself, using a swear word would have meant he became an ex-trainer rather sooner than he eventually did. It just wasn’t on. So what gave with these guys? ‘These guys’, by the way, being three of the leading NLP trainers in the world. After a few days Paul McKenna said they’d been getting some feedback that the swearing was excessive, so he explained what they’d been doing. You see, if you want to change (or, in their case, get other people to change) one of the first things to do is to ‘break the state’ of the trainees. They needed to get us to break out of our comfort zones, and one of the best ways of doing that is to behave unexpectedly.

Think, just now, of a time when someone shocked you with their use of language - ‘shocked’ meaning, of course, broke your state. Were you surprised at the power of language to change you? Many years ago in his childhood, Ian was on a car journey with his father. Swearing was strictly banned at home - little did his parents know about the language of the playground. During the journey, while stuck in a jam, a biker alleged he’d been cut up by our car on a roundabout. Ian’s Dad wound down the window, and Ian heard the biker inform his father that he should “fuck off”. Despite normally hearing those words many times every day at school, it was shocking. Although not quite as shocking as hearing his father give as good as he got. Oh the power of the broken state.

Of course, language draws power from many more sources than swear words, and in different ways too.

Language is about more than words. Think about someone you regard as a skilled communicator - it might be someone you’ve been trained by or work with, someone you’ve seen on television - could even be a politician (notice how the best politicians, whatever you think of their policies, know how to get their message across). Clearly whoever you have in mind knows how to select the right words to ensure their message is received and understood. (By the way, there’s a


key idea in NLP that ‘the meaning of a communication is in the way it is received’ - in other words, good communication is about the recipient, not exclusively about the communicator).

So, next time you are receiving a message from your chosen skilled communicator, notice what they do with language. Notice the words and the sentence construction of course … and also notice how they ‘juice up’ the tone of their voice. By placing the emphasis on different words, the meaning can be adjusted. What? Well have a look at these:

Where are you going today? Where are you going today? Where are you going today? Where are you going today? Where are you going today?

How we say what we say is, if anything, more important than what we say. Practice speaking those sentences above out loud (oh go on, no-one’s around), first of all with a flat tone (not emphasing any of the words), then emphasising the words in bold. See the difference?

By now, you’ll be able to see how language is amazingly powerful - and, if that’s not a revelation to you, maybe you’re also beginning to see how you could use language to enhance your life in so many positive ways.

In NLP - remember the ‘L’ stands for ‘Linguistic’ - an important part of the process of creating positive change is in using language skilfully and powerfully. In fact, there’s a whole area of study called the meta-model - and careful study of (and, even better, practice of) the meta-model, and really make a difference when you’re enhancing your life. Too much detail is outside of the scope of this book, but look out for further opportunities to develop your linguistic skills.

By now, you’ll be wondering what’s coming next in this book and how to enhance your life further. Well, next it’s time to pull together some of the key themes developed here and put them all together to create the first stage of your enhancement - your new image.

Turn over to take your changes further.


5: Imagine Your New ImageBecause you’ve read this book right through to this, the final part, you’re now well on the way to completing the first stage of your change towards your personal enhancement. Congratulations!

You’re not done yet though - now it’s time to consolidate those changes so that they become part of you. Some people make the mistake of taking a course such as this, and while they’re reading it and doing the exercises they’re fine with all the beneficial changes they’re making. And yet, somehow, once they go off and do something else - go to work, let’s say, or have a weekend of relaxation, they don’t apply what they’ve learnt. It’s all in there, and safely stored - and only used when the material is right in front of them.

A key idea when learning anything at all is that inputs are only as strong as outputs. When yesterday, for example, you practised juicing up the tone of your voice, you gained deeper understanding of that idea. If you didn’t actually practice that - maybe you read it and thought “oh yes, I know this stuff, that’s what I do already” - well, is it? Do you really do it, or do you just tell yourself you do it? And anyway, however well you do it, you can do it better. How do I know that, given that I’ve probably never met you? Because whatever skills we already have, we can always improve. Sometimes improving means going on a course - and sometimes all it means is outputting what you’ve taken on board.

So, we’re going to suggest you do the following exercise every morning for the next week (or longer if you wish). Read it through and then output it - and at the end of this section we’ll offer you an even simpler way of integrating all the changes this course has offered you.

This exercise is all about confidence. You see, when you’re feeling confident, you’ll find it much easier to apply everything you’ve taken from this course and use it. If you’re the type of person who is naturally very confident, we’re going to suggest you can become even more confident. Say you give yourself 8 out of 10 for confidence - well, what would you need to do to become a 9? When you get to 9, how will you get to 10? And when you get to 10 you’re perfect, right? No - how can you get to 11? Maybe you’re a 10 on your map of the world, and now you can move onto a bigger map with new and exciting challenges. Get yourself up to 11, although now maybe you’re an 11 out of 20 - still better than 10 out 10, and still more and exciting work to do. What if you really got into all this and moved onto a map that has a maximum of 100? You can!

So, here’s your 5 Minute Morning Confidence Workout.

Firstly, you need to make yourself a confidence movie. If you ever fancied becoming a Stephen Spielberg or Alfred Hitchcock, now’s your chance.

Imagine you’re watching a movie about a future, more confident you. Notice every


detail about yourself - your facial expression, your posture, the light in your eyes.

Now sit back and enjoy watching a movie of the most confident moments from your past and write in some others that haven’t yet happened. Really let your internal director out to play and ensure that you see all the good confident stuff in full technicolour with excellent surround sound. And in this movie, you have the technology to really feel that confident feeling, and enjoy the whole experience - even tastes and aromas too.

Now it’s time to float out of your seat and into the confident you on the screen. See though your confident eyes, hear though your ears, and feel those confident feelings. Perhaps you can feel your feelings spinning, your confidence growing? Turn up those colours even further, make the sounds louder and the feelings even stronger.

Notice where your feeling of success is strongest in your body and give it a colour. Move that colour up to the top of your head and down to the tip of your toes - double it and double it again …

Float back into your present moment and keep that wonderful feeling of natural confidence.

Now you’ve created your movie, here’s how to incorporate it into your 5 Minute Daily Confidence Workout.

1. Run your confidence highlight film. Really juice it up - maybe it’s time for the director’s cut - you can keep growing your film. Run your movie until you’re feeling really really confident.

2. Find a mirror - full length if you have one - and stand in front of it. Close your eyes. Now think about someone who loves you and imagine viewing yourself through their eyes. Open your eyes and look into the mirror. See yourself though the eyes of someone who totally loves you.

3. Complement yourself. Use your confident internal voice - no, not that one, the REALLY confident one - to complement yourself over and over again for a full minute. Yes, that’s something people sometimes find tricky to do. Well, if so, it’s even more important that you do it. You may have heard about the Law of Attraction - well, by doing this last part of the exercise you will attract more of what you want in your life. It’s not a secret.

Do that every day for at least a week and really get that energy moving.


6: Go and Do It, Be It and Live It

You’ve been reading about and practising the first steps on your journey to change. You’re now feeling good, have silenced your inner critic, discovered a whole new attitude, played with the power of language, and have put it all together and imagined your new image.

By now you’ll be confident enough to e-mail us with any questions you have, and to be using all these ideas and techniques in your everyday life.

So in this chapter, just two questions for you to answer:

1. What do you want?

2. What stops you?

Perhaps by now you’re ready to go and apply all these changes and you don’t need any further support from us. That’s great - let us know how you’re getting on, and anything you learn that may benefit others. We’ll publish the most helpful feedback we receive on www.nlpcatalysts.com.

Maybe you’re feeling the changes are starting and you need a little more juice to really get them moving. Well, we have two special offers exclusive to you, because we know you’re committed to change.

Firstly, we’re creating a hypnosis download (or CD) especially for readers of this book. Because you’ve already read this, you’ll benefit more deeply than anyone else. Even better, you'll receive a 50% discount as recognition of the work you’ve already done. So, you can receive your download as soon as it's released by registering your interest (with no obligation to buy). Just send an e-mail to [email protected]. Your special offer investment is just £7.50, or £10.00 (inc. p&P) if you want a CD.

If you’ve not used a hypnosis trance programme before, all you need to do is put some headphones on, sit back and relax. The ideas that you met in this book will be reinforced and all you have to do is listen. This is not an audio version of the book, (although there is an expanded audio version available too) in which the words are read out loud - it’s a whole new experience using hypnotic language. We strongly recommend that you use the trance programme in addition to what you’ve read and practised - it really adds so much more juice to your changes.

Secondly, because this book and the hypnosis CD are created to be used by many people, we can’t address your specific issues. Perhaps there’s something you wish to change that hasn’t been touched on specifically here. Well, when you invest in a therapy programme we’ll offer you another discount. So that’s a series of one-to-one therapy sessions with either Jane or Ian in which you get our absolutely


undivided attention. Now, this isn’t for everyone - you’ll find your changes are much deeper than the generic products (and you already know how powerful they are) so please don’t even consider this unless you’re ready for some profound personal enhancement. When you are, tell us you purchased this book and you’ll receive 10% off your investment. More details of our Personal Enhancement programme can be found at http://www.nlpcatalysts.com/personal.html

We're so looking forward to hearing from you and, at some point, meeting you. Do let us have your questions and experiences. Remember you can hear from us each month by subscribing to ‘The Catalyst’ if you haven’t already - just go to http://www.nlpcatalysts.com and you’ll see a sign-up box. We have a number of other courses we’ll be introducing over the next few months - stay tuned!


Now Take Your Next Step

To book one of the change spaces available on Tuesdays in Aberystwyth, or book and internet appointment, please call

us (free) on:

0800 043 3478

or via our website:

http://www.nlpcatalysts.com/index.php

To register for further details about the audio version of this course, or the hypnosis download/CD, please e-mail:

[email protected]

To book your Personal Enhancement programme:

http://www.nlpcatalysts.com/personal.html

Thank you for reading' How to Change Your Thoughts and Change Your Life'.

Freedom and love,Ian & Jane


Change Your Life

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