Ch 3. Building Respectful, Caring Relationships

The Story of Annie• “I want to show the children that I care about them. I

don’t want to rule this classroom like a dictator. If I said no when someone asks to go to the bathroom, that would be showing them that I don’t respect them.” (52)

• Her commitment to “care” which she defined as “never say no” led to a situation so chaotic and so confused that no learning, teaching or caring was possible.

Why is Showing Care Important•Students are more likely to cooperate

with teachers whom they see as caring, trustworthy and respectful.

•Modeling acceptance and appreciation of diversity.

•Helps develop self esteem and a drive to create learning.

Ways of Showing Care and Respect for Students

Be Welcoming

• Smile!!

• Greet students at the door.

• Learn phrases in non-native languages.

• Learn names.

Learn About Students’ Lives• Ask about their lives and interests. • Have students write about themselves.

Be Sensitive to Concerns• Think about classroom events from a student’s

point of view. • Include students in big decisions. • Don’t share grades.• Discuss inappropriate behavior in private

Establish and Enforce Clear Expectations for Behavior • Clear rules and routines.• Stay clear and consistent when instructing.

Be Fair• Make a balance• Rules apply to everyone, no exceptions but also,

every student has different needs. • Special cases?• “Teachers may be more concerned about equal

treatment than students are.” (57)

Be a Real Person (As well as a teacher)

•Disclosing information▫Not more than you would want your

students and their parents to know. ▫Think about why you are giving out

personal info.•Admit mistakes.

Share Responsibility• Allow students to make some choices

(independent reading, schedule, activities)

Reduce Intrinsic Control• The use of rewards and punishments outside of

the scope of a learning environment. • Discuss possible penalties or rewards with

students.

Be Inclusive• Acknowledge differences in student learning• Respect differences of all types (religious, racial, ethnic

etc)• Learn about disabilities, cultures, races, sexual

orientations that may be represented in your classroom

Search for Students’ Strengths• Focus on a student’s experiences and strong

points not just faults.

Develop Communication Skills

• Be a good listener• Demonstrate empathy• Promote the asking of questions

More on Communication•Attending and Acknowledging

•Active Listening (pg66)

•Questioning

•Problem Solving (pg69)

•Be cautious of touching

Building Caring Relationships Among Students• Model and recognize pro-social behavior.• Provide opportunities for students to get to know

one another.• Hold class meetings• Use cooperative learning groups• Teach social-emotional skills (pg79)

▫ BEST monitor Body posture, make Eye contact, Say nice words, use respectful Tone of voice

• Curb peer harassment and bullying