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72 1 CD Four 2 3 Two parents received this email from their daughter, who was away at college and 4 just about coming home for Christmas break. So they opened up the email and it 5 said this: 6 7 Dear Mom and Dad, I am sorry I haven't written lately but you see all my things 8 were destroyed in the dorm fire. My eyes are almost completely healed now and 9 there should be no permanent damage from the smoke. While the dorm is being 10 rebuilt I have moved in with my boyfriend. I think you met Roy when you were 11 here on parent's weekend. I know how much you have always wanted 12 grandchildren, so you'll be happy to know I am expecting a baby at the end of 13 next summer. 14 15 Then the letter went on and it said: 16 17 Please excuse this exercise in English composition. There was no dorm fire. My 18 eyes are not damaged. I am not living with my boyfriend and I am not pregnant. 19

Transcript of CD Four - s3.amazonaws.com€¦ · CD Four 78 115 into a jet stream of support because we are in...

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1

CD Four 2

3

Two parents received this email from their daughter, who was away at college and 4

just about coming home for Christmas break. So they opened up the email and it 5

said this: 6

7

Dear Mom and Dad, I am sorry I haven't written lately but you see all my things 8

were destroyed in the dorm fire. My eyes are almost completely healed now and 9

there should be no permanent damage from the smoke. While the dorm is being 10

rebuilt I have moved in with my boyfriend. I think you met Roy when you were 11

here on parent's weekend. I know how much you have always wanted 12

grandchildren, so you'll be happy to know I am expecting a baby at the end of 13

next summer. 14

15

Then the letter went on and it said: 16

17

Please excuse this exercise in English composition. There was no dorm fire. My 18

eyes are not damaged. I am not living with my boyfriend and I am not pregnant. 19

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However, I did receive a D in English and an F in French and I wanted to be sure 20

you got this information in proper perspective. 21

22

Now if you are the parent and you are reading along this letter, I just imagine 23

how you are feeling as you read more and more that is happening in her life and 24

all of a sudden you realize none of those things have happened. It's a D in English 25

and an F in French. You feel a sense of relief and you go oh honey, is that it? We 26

are going to be able to handle that. And it is in the contrast that we are able to see 27

perspective and perspective is liberating; the ability to use our perspective and 28

use it well, and that's what this lesson is about. 29

30

Now that you have been exploring a possibility for yourself, a dream, if you have a 31

picture of that dream and imagination of that dream just thinking about it like 32

quickens your pulse. It matches your core value. You've tested this dream. It's 33

going to cause you to grow. It's good for others. There's so much in this dream 34

that matters and right behind that will come a sense inside of you like well do I 35

really deserve that or can I really have that or some of the things that we may 36

have picked up along the way about ideas of ourselves as not good enough or 37

somewhat damaged or somehow not having the skill or the talent or the smarts or 38

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the contacts or the whatever it is, the age. Most of us have perceptions about 39

ourselves that are limiting and create in us a sense of doubt about the 40

possibilities. So this lesson is about letting go of some of the perceptions that we 41

have that are self-inhibiting and self-limiting. 42

43

Understanding first of all that you are not your personality. You have a 44

personality. You are not your body. You have a body. You are a spiritual being 45

having a human experience. You have a body. You use your brain, which is the 46

switching station between your individual awareness and the mind of God. You 47

have creative capacities that are unlimited except by your own thinking and your 48

own understanding. And just like the parents who got an upsetting letter from 49

their daughter but when they changed their perception the truth emerged, 50

everything changed in how they felt and their ability to help their daughter solve 51

whatever the situation was. It's not different with you and me. 52

53

There's a Hindu story that I really love. It's about a pregnant tiger who goes out 54

hunting one day. She finds a whole herd of goats. She goes after the goats because 55

she is very, very hungry. She is ravenous. So she attacks them desperately and she 56

gets so tired and runs so hard that she just collapses in exhaustion and she dies 57

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giving birth to her cub. When the goats return to the field they find the 58

motherless newborn. Those goats decide to adopt him. So he grows up repeating 59

behaviors like those around him. He bleats. He eats grass. He believes himself to 60

be a goat. So this little cub who grows into a tiger now is wandering with the goats 61

and acting like a goat and bleating like the goats and eating the way the goats eat. 62

63

Then one day a tiger, a big male tiger, comes into the goat herd and all the goats 64

scatter except this little tiger. He is about a year old now and looking at this big 65

male tiger somehow he is sensing an affinity with this tiger. But he freezes in his 66

tracks and he stands there staring at the tiger. The big tiger comes over to him 67

and says 'What's wrong with you?' The little one says 'What do you mean what's 68

wrong with me?' The big tiger says 'What's wrong with you? What are you doing? 69

You are acting weird. You are acting like a goat.' The little tiger says 'I am a goat!' 70

The big one says 'No you're not. You are not a goat.' He leads the little tiger over 71

to a pond. A very still pond. He said 'Now look at yourself. Really look at yourself.' 72

The little cub looks at himself and he looks at the big tiger and he is confused. The 73

tiger says 'Come with me, come with me.' He takes him back to his den and in the 74

den there is some leftover meat from a gazelle that had been his recent kill. So he 75

says to the little tiger 'Eat this.' The little cub says 'Well no way. I am a 76

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vegetarian.' The tiger says 'Try it. Just try it.' So the little tiger reaches over and 77

he takes a bite off the bone. 78

79

In this Hindu story, when that little tiger who thought he was a goat reaches 80

down and tastes some of the meat, at first he chokes on the meat. He gags and 81

then a piece of that meat enters his bloodstream and the cub begins to stretch. He 82

bares his claws, he opens his mouth wide and he lets out for the very first time in 83

his life a small roar. That first roar isn't very fearsome. It's not yet all the roar that 84

the tiger will give, but that first roar is called the roar of awakening. It's the first 85

moment when this being recognizes that he wasn't who he thought himself to be. 86

He wasn't limited to the kind of life he had been living and that there was way 87

more for him. 88

89

So you and I, when we first get introduced to the idea that we are way more than 90

we thought ourselves to be; that we have capacities and creative talents and a 91

genius code in us as unique as our thumbprint, at first we too choke on this 92

information. We may discard it. We say no, no me. I am...and we describe 93

ourselves and the personality we have known or we describe ourselves from the 94

viewpoint of those who raised us or taught us or in some way influenced our self-95

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image. But there is something very, very powerful in the shifting of your self 96

image from a local personality with your history driven understanding about who 97

you are to a more evolved, conscious aware understanding of yourself as an 98

evolving being who uses not only your human brain, your body, your emotions, 99

but the mind of God to create. 100

101

Now who you are is a divine being. You didn't create yourself. You can't even 102

make your heart beat. You can't take one breath on your own. It is living spirit in 103

which you live and move and have your being and that presence, that power, the 104

authentic you is living and moving and having being as you. So in these lessons 105

we are learning to explore our longings, to pay attention to our discontent as the 106

two streams of information that are guiding us, that send information to our 107

conscious mind about decisions we can make that move us in the direction of the 108

dreams we have. So you pay attention to your longings. You pay attention to your 109

discontent. Those are streams of information to the conscious mind about a 110

direction that leads you into a greater and fuller expanded expression of yourself. 111

For this you came. To bear witness to this incredible being that is the authentic 112

you. The great news about this is the more you do this the more I do this, the 113

happier we are. The healthier we become. The easier things get. It's as if we lift 114

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into a jet stream of support because we are in harmony with our soul's purpose; 115

who we are meant to be. 116

117

So we have spent some time listening to our longing, listening to our discontent, 118

paying attention, getting an idea of a dream, testing that dream. We've run that 119

dream by the five point test. We noticed our dream, listened to it, paid attention 120

to it, tested it, said yes this is a good dream. As soon as we say yes to the dream 121

it's in essence that we step beyond the boundary of the life we've known and now 122

we are in what's called the gap. The gap between the life we have known and the 123

life we have not yet brought in and traversing that gap is a tricky path. There is 124

almost a gravitational pull to the life we have known. It's already established. We 125

have lived that life. We've come to know that life. 126

127

Some people call that a comfort zone even when it's uncomfortable. At least it's 128

comfortable because we know that life. You set a dream in front of yourself and 129

you really say yes to that dream, you test that dream, you say I am going to live 130

that life. I am going to live that life. What's called your paradigms, or all the ways 131

you've thought about yourself now rise up and they argue with you about the 132

possibility that you really do have to live the greater larger life. Here's the truth, 133

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you do have the capacity. It may not yet be a developed capacity or a known 134

capacity for you but you do have the capacity. There's not one thing you could 135

think of that's beyond the capacity of the universe to bring forth and you are one 136

with this universal power, presence and mind. 137

138

Now we call this a sense of deserving. A growing sense of deserving or a greater 139

and greater self esteem. Esteem just simply means valuing. How you value 140

yourself and understanding that you have a self image that can shift to a higher 141

and greater emergence of authenticity that's in harmony with really who you are 142

created to be. So when you think of the word your 'self', if you use a small s to 143

define the self you can see that your self and the version that you've had to think 144

of yourself is your personality, your history, what others have said, what you've 145

done so far. It's not that it's not true; it's just not all of your self. 146

147

Your Self, if you take that self and put a capital S, there is a Self; there is an 148

authentic Self. There is the Self that you are before you took this human birth that 149

you are when you lay this human body down. This Self that is the real you. That 150

Self has a DNA. It has a divine destiny to express unique talents and skills and 151

gifts that are as unique as your thumbprint in this world. But you will mute that 152

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opportunity if you only identify with your history, if you only see yourself based 153

on the conditions you currently had, known or experienced. So learning how to 154

shift, in essence, your sense of Self becomes part of the great gift that you have in 155

deciding to build a dream. Because remember, building the dream, getting the 156

thing you say you want, building the house, having the family or whatever it is, 157

creating the business, writing the book, doing the travel, whatever it is that you 158

feel a longing for and a yearning to experience and express that will be a 159

wonderful thing--but the really wonderful thing is who you become in the 160

process; who you discover yourself to be as you get to know this authentic self. 161

162

And just like those parents who all of a sudden had a shift in perception that 163

changed everything in regard to how they were perceiving the situation with their 164

daughter, you and I can have a shift in perception that absolutely changes us. The 165

magnetic field in which we live and move and have our being draws unto us the 166

substance that's coherent with the images we hold. So when you have a bigger 167

idea you want to be sure that that bigger idea lives inside of you and there's no 168

dissonance. That you're not saying yeah I'd love to have that but I'm not worthy 169

of it. I'd love to have that but I don't have the education. I don't have the 170

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background. I don't have this or that. And in essence, perhaps you don't currently 171

but you have access to the mind of the infinite in which all things are possible. 172

173

So let me give you a few stories to help anchor this idea. There was a woman I 174

knew named Carla. Carla had grown up in a Catholic family. She had gone to 175

Catholic school. She was a kid who was always in trouble. She always asked a lot 176

of questions and irritated her teachers, who were nuns. She said one day in the 177

fifth grade, her nun teacher just absolutely lost her temper, took the little ten year 178

old in front of the entire class and said--there were twenty-six other kids in the 179

classroom by the way--and the nun said 'Alright, what you are all going to do now 180

is one by one I want you to stand up and I want you to name something about 181

Carla that you don't like and we are going to all tell Carla what's wrong with her.' 182

Carla told me that as a ten year old, she just remembers standing in this 183

classroom with one student after another telling her what was wrong with her 184

from the way she looked to the way she acted to the way she dressed to the beliefs 185

she held to some of what she considered to be the most good things about herself 186

and maybe even some of the deepest secrets she had that only her dearest friends 187

would know. But in the presence of this authority figure, the nun, one by one the 188

students did exactly as they had been asked to do. They stood up and they told 189

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Carla things that really hurt Carla's feelings. In the authority figure of this nun 190

somehow in this little girl's mind she translated that to mean God was saying 191

these things about her. 192

193

As time went on, Carla shut down. She began to hate herself. If everyone else saw 194

her this way that must be how she was. So in junior high then she began to seek 195

out a cure for her pain. She found it in drugs and alcohol. She drank herself well 196

into her twenties and then having fifteen years of drinking and drugging she 197

finally became very ill and at the threat of losing her life she finally into recovery. 198

She said that in the recovery process she began to realize that she was recovering 199

a new sense of identity; that her true identity was not at all what she had come to 200

believe on that fateful day when she was a ten year old. She saw that the nun was 201

just upset that day, that maybe she was being irritating to that nun. That maybe 202

she was asking too many questions. Certainly the nun had acted in a way that was 203

misguided but she had had a tough day. But also Carla came to see that nun was 204

not God. Nor were all the comments that were made that day the definition of her 205

true self. The nun was just a person who got frustrated with a child one day and 206

did something. But that child had taken that information, much like the parents 207

who took the information that their college daughter was temporarily blind and 208

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very much pregnant, she had a mental response, an emotional response, and a 209

physical response. All of Carla's choices from then forward had been based on 210

what she had come to believe about herself by that one experience. The 211

information she had been given was very, very wrong. 212

213

So in recovering her true identity Carla began to realize that she had a divine 214

nature. That it didn't mean that she didn't have amends to make or things to 215

make right about the life she had lived, but it meant that she was not defined by 216

those ideas about herself, nor was she defined by the behaviors that she had done 217

to try to mitigate the pain she felt. And she began to recognize that there was 218

something in her that was worth way, way more than she had had any idea of. So 219

as we learn, each one of us in this process, in dream building, in learning to bring 220

forth your goals, your ideas, your talents, your skills, for you to move into a more 221

expanded and expanding version of life that's calling you one of the practices--222

and it's a practice over time--is to learn to believe in yourself in a different way, 223

and to believing really who you are. That you are not what you have done. You are 224

not what you have had happen to you. You are way more than that. And when we 225

first hear these ideas and we originally begin to taste the idea that I have had 226

experiences, I have a body, I have had things happen, I have done things...that's 227

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history, it's feedback, it's information but it's not who I am. Most of us choke on 228

that. We choke on that idea and say wait a minute because we have come to only 229

see ourselves through the lens of our history and our experiences. But once we let 230

this begin to get into our bloodstream a bit we will find ourselves in a kind of roar 231

of awakening that absolutely transforms us as well. 232

233

There is a story about eight buddies who go golfing one day. They break up into 234

two foursomes. The first foursome gets done and they wait for the other group. 235

They are sitting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and finally, 236

maybe an hour and a half after they have expected the second struggles in. The 237

guy in the first group says 'My gosh! What took you guys so long?' A fellow from 238

the second group says 'Oh man. It was a tough game.' The first guy says 'Why?' 239

and the other one says 'Well on the second hole Harry had a heart attack.' They 240

said 'Oh my gosh that's horrible! What happened?' The other one says 'Well, after 241

that it was hit the ball and drag Harry, hit the ball and drag Harry.' 242

243

Now that's kind of a bad joke. Taken in a broader spectrum of that joke, I mean 244

poor Harry. But the idea is that we would laugh at anyone that would try to play 245

the game of golf dragging something that heavy with them. Yet you and I are 246

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often playing the game of life dragging our own 'Harry' with us; dragging 247

something that no longer is alive, life-giving or having meaning in our lives. Quite 248

simply 'Harry' is the dead weight. There are parts of ourselves that we have long 249

since needed to discard. They have died but we are still hanging on. Experiences, 250

ideas, happenings, we are still dragging perhaps our childhood story. Still hauling 251

around what our spouse did yesterday or ten years ago, or a different spouse. We 252

are lugging around the notion that we are not lovable or not smart enough or not 253

something. We are still dragging around limiting ideas. And it's heavy, and it's 254

exhausting and what we find is there's no energy left for dream building. 255

256

There was a couple that I met once in working with them. The man's name was 257

Brad. He said 'You know most people would say that I was an easygoing guy, but 258

my family would not say that because there's a whole side of me that they see that 259

only comes out with those who are nearest and dearest to me. It's a part of me 260

that I think aptly they've called--they've probably given me the right name for it--261

they call it the werewolf. Things can just be going along ok and then I'll get stuck 262

in traffic or I'll come home and see a bike out in the driveway where I wanted to 263

park or I trip over something inside of the house and instantly I will just be filled 264

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with a rage and I'll just dump that on anyone and everyone who is around. The 265

kids will go oh no dad, the werewolf is here. Dad the werewolf is here!' 266

267

So Brad decided he wanted to change that. That instead of having the people that 268

were closest to him be the recipients of the darkest side of him, he wanted to 269

discover what it was that he could do that would liberate him. In essence this was 270

Harry he had been dragging around; a learned style of behavior that created pain 271

with the closest people he had in his life. So he began to practice an exercise 272

where he would in essence push a pause button. When that behavior would begin 273

to surface up in him, he recognized he could actually push the pause button and 274

consciously choose how he would respond. That he could decide, you know I can 275

still get angry about this and I can still do whatever...that option doesn't leave me. 276

But for the next fifteen minutes or the next five minutes or the next--and it took 277

him a while to exercise his capacity to choose how he would respond instead of 278

just reacting. To choose to respond. 279

280

Now in essence you have heard the word 'responsibility'. We all have the ability to 281

choose how we will respond. But most of us have been trained to be reactive, so 282

we were trained how we should respond by the way we watched our parents 283

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respond or react. Once it's programmed it becomes a reaction. We don't even 284

think about it. We just think that you spill some milk you get upset. Somebody 285

cuts you out in traffic, you get upset. That you have a patterned response that is 286

unconscious now and so we call that a reaction because it is no longer consciously 287

choosing how we are going to respond. We just react a pattern that has always 288

been established somewhere along our learning. But it's not liberating and why it 289

matters in dream building, why it matters in creating the life that you want is that 290

you want to be able to harness your whole authority. Your authority is a co-291

creator with the infinite. 292

293

So as you begin to recognize that you perhaps have some Harrys you have been 294

dragging around, patterns that are no longer really useful, helpful, creative, 295

energizing and you begin to just take an honest inner inventory and say you know 296

that pattern isn't really how I want to be basically that pattern is not harmonious 297

with the life that I say I want to live. That if I want to be more abundant but I am 298

acting stingy, if I want to have more love, but I am holding thoughts of 299

resentment, that anything I am doing mentally, emotionally, physically that is 300

dissonant or out of harmony with the picture I am holding for the life I want to 301

live that dissonance is like putting two ends of the magnet together, two positive 302

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ends of the magnet repel. So I have to create in essence a vibrational match in my 303

way of being with the picture I say I want in my life. 304

305

So working with some of these ideas around releasing patterns of thinking or 306

behavior that are not in harmony with the image of the life I want to live 307

increases my sense of deserving, opens me up. I now become a vibrational match 308

for ideas and circumstances and situations that actually look like they come out of 309

the blue to support my understanding of the steps I need to take to build the 310

dream I want to have. 311

312

So Brad realized that there was a part of him that really could choose a different 313

way. That was new information for him. He just didn't know quite how to access 314

that at first. He knew the first part of it was to actually believe that he had more 315

in him that he had known. Even though he didn't know how to access it yet he 316

had to make a choice. You know what; I really could choose to be different. So he 317

thought ok so what am I going to do with that energy of rage when it starts to 318

come up in me and I just want to vent it and get it away from me. I want to get 319

angry and vent that energy. So he started thinking about what was most 320

important in his life. He thought about what really mattered most to him and he 321

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knew that is was his family. So instead of going with that energy of bursting out, 322

he thought I am going to choose to create this differently. He thought, you know 323

if I really were living the life I wanted to live I would celebrate my family. As soon 324

as he said the words celebrate family even his body would shift because he knew 325

that that was very important to him. 326

327

So he began to practice that and he was tested with a werewolf experience not 328

long after he made a decision. He said he was driving home in traffic on the inner 329

lane and his car, which was fairly old, absolutely died. So in the midst of the 330

traffic and waiting for someone to come and help him he got out of the car and 331

was leaning up against the guard rail watching all the traffic go by. He said the 332

steam was just rising from the hood of his car. He said if someone could have 333

taken an infrared picture they would have seen coming out of my ears, my nose, 334

my eyes and every other place in me where steam could emit. He said 'I was just 335

so angry about this and all of a sudden I thought wait a minute. I made a 336

decision. I could respond differently. I made a decision that it is a matter of 337

perspective. This is a broken down car. That's it. It's a broken down car. It can't 338

control my life unless I let it. It's a broken down car.' Then he remembered 'I have 339

a great family. I have a broken down car but I have a great family'. 340

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341

Not long after that a policeman stopped. They called a tow truck. The tow truck 342

driver looked inside and the engine was completely frozen so the tow truck driver 343

says 'Where do you want me to take your car?' Brad says 'Take it to a junkyard.' 344

So he had the car towed away. The policeman gave him a ride to the next exit 345

because he could catch a bus from there. He was standing there waiting for the 346

bus and he thought 'Ok how am I going to go home now?' And this was outside 347

his experience. His pattern of experience was always to be mad, stomp around, 348

vent when something like this had happened in his life. So he thought 'Ok, so 349

there's a part of me that is greater than this experience. What I really want to do 350

is remember that I have a great family. I have a dead car but I have a great 351

family.' All of a sudden he got this idea, because right next to where he was 352

standing waiting for the bus was a 7-11. So he went into the 7-11 store and he 353

bought a bottle of sparkling apple cider. He picked up a bouquet of wild flowers a 354

vendor was selling outside the store. He took the flowers, the bottle of apple 355

cider, carried it on the bus, walked almost a mile to his house after the bus 356

dropped him off, came in the door. 357

358

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The family looked at him. His wife says 'What's this?' He says 'Guess what? The 359

car's dead, we have no money but I love you all.' He said their jaws dropped and it 360

was like who are you and what did you do with dad? It was so empowering to 361

him. It's a small story in some regards, but it was a big story in Brad's life because 362

it was a defining moment. That moment defined Brad's recognition that there 363

was a choice in him about how he would respond and that he was no longer 364

limited to the personality or the person he had known himself to be. That was a 365

roar of awakening. And that roar of awakening, when you discover there is more 366

to you; that you have more than the life you have lived, the experiences you have 367

tended to react to, you have more. That more puts you in touch with a stream of 368

more. More ideas, more understanding, more availability, all of that is in 369

coherency with you becoming the person who absolutely can live the dream your 370

holding. 371

372

So you know our little tiger? The other tiger could look at that tiger all day long 373

and say you're not a goat, you're not a goat. You are a tiger. But until that little 374

tiger begins to resonate with that himself and taste the meat himself there is no 375

roar of awakening. So someone else...I can tell you that I know you are worthy of 376

your dream. I can tell you that I know there is more to you. I can tell you because 377

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I have had forty years working in this laboratory called life working with 378

thousands and thousands of people and I know that about you. But it really 379

doesn't do you much good for me to know that about you. It's you tasting it. It's 380

you being open to do the experiences that we are talking about, to work in your 381

workbook, to begin to take just baby steps. And I will tell you this and you know 382

it's true, that baby steps taken sequentially and consistently will ultimately even 383

take you up Mount Everest. So there's nothing that's ever happened in your life 384

that's beyond the power that's within you to transform that and ultimately use 385

that for you good. 386

387

So Brad made a shift by being willing to focus on his own deserving at a deeper 388

level and then he began to practice that new understanding in regard to old 389

behaviors. There's a man I know named Scott. Scott and I have known each other 390

for a long time. During the Vietnam days, Scott had a strong feeling that he just 391

did not want to be involved in participating in any actions that brought physical 392

violence to anybody else. So he filed as a conscientious objector during the 393

Vietnam War. His first filing was rejected and then in the course of his appeals 394

the war ended. So his friends started coming home. Some of them that he had 395

gone to high school with had lost limbs. Many of them had lost whole portions of 396

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their heart. They just really felt disillusioned and disheartened about having gone 397

off, surrendered their own innocence only to have society reject them when they 398

came home. Scott said to me later when he would talk to me about it, he said 'I 399

was feeling like here I was, I sat at home being a paper pusher trying to get out of 400

it.' He said that he began to build inside of himself a feeling that he did not 401

deserve good things in his life. Others had been willing to sacrifice and he had 402

not. As he grew older he became a successful businessman but he noticed that he 403

wasn't really able to give of his heart in any of his relationships. He had money 404

but he felt disconnected. He felt isolated. He had a wife, he had kids but he didn't 405

feel connected. What we notice is that for some of us our lack of deserving will 406

really affect our financial affairs. For some of us our lack of deserving affects our 407

relationships and sometimes it affects our health as well. So wherever it's 408

showing up in your life know this, that it is a disconnect from the authentic self. 409

410

So Scott began to practice again spiritual principles. He began to practice a 411

different kind of thinking. He began to practice recognizing that there was more 412

to him than he had known. Scott began to develop a personal companionship or 413

relationship with a sense of his own higher power. He began to practice 414

recognizing that there is more to me than I have known. I did the best I knew how 415

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at that time. And he went back and he in essence took a look at the Harry he had 416

been dragging, which was my friends went off and sacrificed. I didn't go and 417

sacrifice. But he went back to the moment when he made the decision to be a 418

conscientious objector and he knew that at that moment he really was doing what 419

he thought was right. It isn't that he didn't want to serve his country. He just 420

didn't want to be involved in physical violence causing harm to someone else. He 421

really believed that. He began to repattern his understanding about that Harry 422

he'd been dragging all those years. He said so how am I going to break free from 423

this? How do I step into a state of really feeling my own deserving? 424

425

So he began to notice that he had some invitations to be in service and Scott 426

discovered that the more he was in service the better he felt about himself. He 427

had always felt better when he was giving because he had seen that while he 428

wanted to be a conscientious objector, again he never meant that he didn't want 429

to serve his country. He just didn't know how. So he had been doing service work 430

off and on throughout the years. He was president of a contractor’s organization 431

and he said that when he received that title he prayed 'Under my presidency let 432

me do something that is significant for my community.' He said within a week 433

someone called him and told him about a group of Vietnam veterans who wanted 434

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to build a Vietnam memorial to the vets in Oregon who had lost their lives. The 435

group didn't have much money and was looking for someone to help. There was a 436

lot of construction and paving of the road that would be needed and could Scott's 437

group help? Scott said could it have been more of a divine fit in answer to his 438

silent prayer asking the universe to support him in building a deeper believing in 439

himself that he would also do something good for the community? It just seemed 440

like such a terrific fit for him. So he became a spokesperson to the other 441

contractors about giving time and talent and resources and dollars to this project. 442

443

And under Scott's presidency the Vietnam War memorial was built for the State 444

of Oregon. As it was nearing completion Scott knew that he needed to do one 445

more thing so he gathered with a group of the vets who were planning the 446

dedication. They were celebrating Scott and saying what a great guy he was. 447

Slapping him on the back, saying 'You know, we are so grateful for you!' and he 448

said he just felt this lump coming up in his throat and he knew that he had to 449

speak. So he said 'I need to tell you my story.' And he went ahead and he told the 450

others gathered who were all Vietnam vets, some without limbs, many who had 451

lost friends and buddies during the war. 'It has such a burden that I have carried. 452

I have not found a way to contribute and I wanted to honor the way you did 453

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contribute, which was right for you and I still wanted to find a way to contribute 454

myself.' He said that he expected perhaps rejection or disdain from some of them 455

but that is not at all what he got. What he received was acceptance and through 456

many, many tears that were shared that day he said it was a true cleansing for 457

him. On the day of the dedication, Scott said that he stood there and he realized 458

that he had asked for a way to heal his past. The universe had responded equally 459

with a wondrous way that he could use his skills and talents to give back and this 460

was an authentic new deeper understanding of Scott's true deserving that came 461

out of his decision that he wanted to have that. 462

463

So no matter what your Harry is. No matter how heavy the burden you carry or 464

that says you don't deserve, for Scott is was guilt over the war, for Brad it was 465

rage over the way he had been raised, for Carla the cruelty of a nun. You too can 466

set that weight down and you can discover the truth about yourself. So as you are 467

thinking about this right now, and I don't know what your particular Harry is but 468

I know you've got one, we all have things that we carry from the past. You don't 469

set Harry down just once. Whatever that Harry is down and then thoughts of that 470

will come back again. You set it down again and again and again. And that's a 471

practice. But you will find over time that the less you carry Harry, even when you 472

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are tempted to pick him up again you recognize that--you know, first you are 473

carrying him all day long then you realize you've carried him a half a day, then 474

you realize you may have carried him an hour and then there's the moment when 475

you reach down to pick up Harry and you say no. I am no longer carrying that. 476

This no longer has anything to do with me. It's historic, it's informative. I will 477

take the information and the learning but I am not carrying the weight anymore. 478

479

There is a presence and power that is present in this universe. It is seeking ever 480

freer, fuller expanded life everywhere present in the universe. It is life itself. 481

Something wonderful is happening with you right now. It is this thing called life. 482

It's seeking ever freer, fuller expanded expression. It will work in you, through 483

you and as you if you allow it. We can deepen our sense of deserving, every one of 484

us, by letting Harry go. Setting Harry down. Harry is our dead weight. The part of 485

ourselves that we have long since needed to discard. So we may be lugging 486

around the notion that we are not lovable, dragging limiting ideas like it never 487

works out for me or whatever those are, but when you are weighted by excess 488

baggage you haven't the energy to carry to greater possibilities. So don't allow 489

Harry to control your life. You deserve better. 490

491

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So here's an exercise I want you to do to help you unload Harry. You are going to 492

pick up your workbook. You are going to play with some titles. Now we tend to 493

think that some of the titles we've carried are permanent, but the truth is all kinds 494

of things change when we change our idea, just as the parents when they changed 495

their idea oh it's not this, it's that. All of the experience of that email shifted. Now 496

imagine some of the old titles. You've read about failed politician, Winston 497

Churchill. That was a printing. It was a headline. Failed Politician Winston 498

Churchill. Bing Crosby was told he was way too off tune to ever have a success as 499

a singer. There was disco child, John Travolta. You know, every person who has 500

evolved has discarded some of their old titles, and the truth is no title is 501

permanent. No title we give ourselves or anyone else represents the totality of 502

that individual and you can shed any title you want to. 503

504

So in your workbook you are going to make a list of old dead weight titles that 505

you've carried about yourself on the left side of the column of your workbook. 506

Things you once believed about yourself, possible titles that you might have at 507

one point held on to or carried or someone else gave you. And then you will 508

notice in your workbook that you are invited to, called to write some new titles 509

that are coherent, that are compassionate, that are authentic, that are true in 510

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terms of you being the person who can deliver and experience and express the 511

dream you are calling forth. 512

513

I have in my left hand column, teen mom. I have in that column--and it isn't that 514

it isn't true. I was a teen mom. But my energy on that being a negative title, I put 515

it there because at one time that was shameful to me. Now I feel positive about 516

that now and so I put it in my right column. You can have even some titles in both 517

columns. But the important thing is that columns that are no longer true for you, 518

that are dead weight, that are limiting put them in your left column and then 519

redesign some titles that are coherent with what you are creating and what you 520

want to be and what is really authentically true about you. Begin to define 521

yourself, design yourself, refine yourself according to ideas that create the image 522

of yourself as the person you are really here to be. 523