FALL 2014 | Issue 47

CANADIAN ASSOCIATIONOF WOMEN EXECUTIVES& ENTREPRENEURS

Th e ABCs of Executive Presence

Disabled Employees - What to Do?

And More...

Best Practises in Time Management

Having Diffi cult Conversations

Risky Business and the Future of Bombardier

2 FALL 2014 | Issue 47

President’s Message

An Investment in Your Business GrowthIt was great to see so many guests at this year’s Summer Speed networking breakfasts and the September Open House. Thank you to our members for spreading the word and bringing your friends and associates to these events which showcased CAWEE’s reputation as a welcoming, professional, and supportive organization. Hopefully our visitors will come to more of our events and consider becoming members. New members bring new professions, new experiences, and new ideas for all of us to share.

Membership off ers several unique ways to promote yourself and your business. Membership offers several unique ways to promote yourself and your business.

Here are just a few suggestions to help maximize your CAWEE experience:

Place an ad in Marketplace on the CAWEE website. Your ad will be visible to the over 6,500 visitors to the website monthly.

Advertise your company events in the monthly Communique which is sent to our database of over 1,500 members and affi liates.

Volunteer to write an article for Acclaim Magazine. This professional quarterly is distributed to our database and posted on our website.

Post articles or event notices on CAWEE LinkedIn In to draw attention to your business.

Donate door prizes for CAWEE events. They are always appreciated and donors are acknowledged at the event and in all correspondence relating to the it.

Become a sponsor. Sponsorship enables CAWEE to offer high-quality events at a reasonable cost to our members. There are several levels of sponsorship starting as low at $75. Sponsors are acknowledged in all promotional material, as well as at the event, and on our website.

To learn more about these opportunities to promote your business visit our website or contact info@cawee.net.

With Best Wishes,

Lois Volk, President

CAWEE

Th e ABCs of Executive Presenceby Anne Sowden

4

20 Th e Truth About Why Strong, Independent Women are Still Single It’s Not What You Thinkby Ellen Samier

16 Best Practises in Time Managementby Deanne Kelleher

14 TIFF Means Business by Heather Freed

10 Disabled Employees What to Do?by Nancy Shapiro

12 Having Diffi cult Conversationsby Amy Brassart and Judy Grout

CAWEE Annual Golf Classic 9

6 Risky Business The Future of Bombardierby Alison Lam

CAWEE Aft er Work 18

By Anne Sowden

We all know them – the women who walk into a room and immediately all eyes turn toward them, for all the right reasons. Th ey radiate confi dence, instinctively knowing how to look, how to act, what to say, and how to say it. Without seeming to even try, these women exude executive presence.

Do you have executive presence envy? Many of us do. But by practising your ABCs, over time you can master some of its magic.

The ABCs of Executive Presence

5FALL 2014 | Issue 47

Executive presence is a total package of Appearance, Behaviour, and Communication that speaks of confidence – your own. But, most importantly, it speaks of the confidence you inspire in others.

appearnace

communication

C is for CommunicationExecutives look and sound confident. They stand straight and make eye contact, particu-larly when introducing them-selves. They don’t slouch or fidget. They show genuine interest, inspiring loyalty, and bringing out the best in everyone. They speak loudly enough to be heard, slowly enough to be understood, but they don’t drone on. They’ve mastered the skill of good timing, knowing when to speak up without seeming to interrupt. They encourage others to express their points of view without using it as a jumping point for their own agenda. In fact, they usually listen more than they talk. They don’t need to be centre stage because, well, they already are.

B is for BehaviourAsk yourself: How do people feel when they meet me? Do I come across as relaxed and confident, or impatient and cautious? Do I walk right into a room or hover uncertainly at the door? Do I race for the free hors d’oeuvres or calmly wait for them to be served? Am I constantly checking my cell phone, or am I able to turn it off and focus on those around me? How do I manage relationships? Do I connect with others at all levels, treating people as comfortably as guests in my home, regardless of who they are – the Prime Minister or the gentleman who repaired my fridge? Am I respectful when meeting people from other cultures, learning to pronounce their names and asking about their background? Do I remember or ask about details such as birthdays, names of children, personal interests?

A is for AppearanceYou must look immaculate from head to toe: hair well groomed, no root touch up re-quired; style up to date; classic clothing that fits perfectly and flatters your shape; colours that compliment (not just black); elegant accessories; polished, well-cared-for shoes; manicured nails; subtle daytime make-up. No oversize watches, chandelier earrings, mini-skirts, low neck-lines, cropped tops (yes, they’re back), or anything really trendy. Does that mean a suit? In most cases, yes, or at the very least, a well-made, tailored jacket. Skirt or pants? Either is considered acceptable. Wear whatever makes you feel confident. You’ll stand out because you are dressed well, not because you’re dressed to attract attention.

behaviour

6 FALL 2014 | Issue 47

The Future of BombardierBy Alison Lam

On August 29, 2014, Swedish company Braathens Aviation announced that it no longer wanted to be the first recipient of Bombardier’s new CSeries passenger jet due to the uncertainty surrounding the program. The buyer of 10 of the jets, which the Canadian company believes will be its crowning achievement to date in commercial aircraft design, Braathens has refused to take on the role of launch operator. This stunning setback comes exactly three months after an engine fire occurred during the aircraft’s ground trial; the latest in a long line of misfortunes that have befallen the program.

Bombardier Aerospace became a division of Bombardier Inc. in 1986 when the company acquired Canadair after the aircraft manufacturing company recorded the greatest corporate loss in national history. Today, with a combination of both business jets and commercial aircraft, the division accounts for over half of the company’s revenues. Arguably, one of its most suc-cessful and popular aircraft is the Dash 8 Q400, a turboprop airliner that is used by commercial carriers all around the world. Over 450 aircraft of the Series 400 have been built since its creation and Bombardier is currently considering designs for an updated, stretched version with murmurs of a 2016 launch.

However, these plans might be extremely tentative due to the volatile nature of the firm’s greatest project so far: the CSeries.

Small Fish, Big PondThe two greatest giants in the aircraft manufacturing industry are Boeing Com-mercial Airplanes and Airbus Group. With much of Boeing’s and Airbus’ revenues coming from wide body aircraft, (something the Canadian company does not have the resources to manufacture) Bombardier’s revenues only represent approximately 2% of its rivals’. Too small to compete with the big fish, Bombardier even has problems holding onto its position as the third-largest commercial aircraft manufacturer. Brazilian Embraer S.A., the only currently-successful commercial aircraft manufacturer to have been founded since World War II (successful despite the extremely high barriers to entry into the industry), has found continued growth in the development of regional jets and military transport.

In answer to the Boeing 737, the Airbus A320 and the Embraer 195, Bombardier had announced the creation of the CSeries jetliner in July 2004. This was a major development in Bombardier’s business model, as the Dash 8 turboprop series is significantly smaller and only designed for regional flights. The CSeries would be the first aircraft created by Bom-bardier that could directly compete with Boeing and Airbus. At the time, Bombardier expected the aircraft to be launched in 2013.Before long, however, the program was inundated with setbacks. In 2006, Bombardier announced that the program would be suspended due to insufficient

Risky Business

orders, this despite the fact that both the Cana-dian and British governments had committed to over US$300 million each in financing. Unfor-tunately, the projected costs were to be closer to $3.5 billion, a number that the company could not foresee being able to meet.

In 2007, the program was restarted and, in 2008, it was confirmed that Lufthansa had placed an order for 60 CS100 aircraft to replace its retiring Avro RJ100 jets. Unfortunately, the planned 2013 launch was first postponed by six months, and subsequently postponed yet again until the second half of 2015. In the meantime, a proposal to AirAsia for a larger CS300 aircraft was rejected in late 2012. The targeted first test

flight date of December 2012 was postponed due to system upgrades and certification delays, until September 2013, at which time Porter Airlines ordered 12 aircraft, with an option for 18 more.

In January 2014, it was announced that delivery would be delayed by 12 months due to difficulties with certification and, in May, one of the test aircraft suffered an engine failure that led to a fire and a grounding of the aircraft until September.

Due to these delays, Lufthansa would have to extend the life of its aged Avro RJ100 jets, a bill that Bombardier will have to pay.

Costly OversightDespite all these setbacks, it could be argued that Bombardier’s biggest oversight is in business aviation. While the company has been investing billions into its battle with aviation giants without nearly the success as David had versus Goliath, it has chosen to be-come less aggressive in the business jet market. As current aviation trends show, private jet owners are less interested in the smaller model aircraft (of which Bombardier’s Learjet and Challenger are leaders) and turning their

attention toward the larger, more luxurious models. Bombardier’s answer to this has been the Global 7000 and 8000 series.

Part of the large, ultra-long-range category and Bombardier’s Global aircraft family, the 7000/8000 series was

announced in 2010 with buyers having already lined up for the US$65 million aircraft. However, due to the diversion of finances and time, the development of the business jet has been slowed, with assembly having begun only a few months ago. This has allowed competitor Gulfstream Aerospace to dominate the market virtually uncontested. Since its launch in 2009, the Gulfstream G650, the only aircraft of its kind in the absence of the Global 7000/8000, has retained the attention of buyers looking beyond the small- to medium-sized jets for a roomier, more luxurious model that travels greater distances. With an expected launch date of 2016 for the Global 7000 series and 2017 for the Global 8000 series, Bombardier will have lost almost a decade of ground to its rival as first mover in this particular market, making Gulfstream virtually impossible to topple.

What Now?So, what does this mean for the future of Bombardier Aerospace? In the next 10 years, Gulfstream is poised to overtake Bombardier as the leading manufacturer of business jets while Embraer is set to do the same as the third largest manufacturer of commercial aircraft. The Canadian company has already invested too much time and money to turn away from the CSeries program, but will need to spend much more on the issue-laden proj-ect to see it to completion. Once it has, it will

be challenging, despite being extremely ill-equipped to do so, aviation

superstars Airbus and Boeing,

who are responsible for four of the top five aviation programs today, representing almost 50% of the aviation market. Once the CSeries is finally launched, how will Bombardier be able to compete with Boeing’s and Airbus’ substantially deeper pockets? And, once the company can turn its attention back to business aviation, will it be too late to pose any viable threat to Gulfstream’s G650? Will Bombardier Aerospace be able to recover all the ground it has lost in both commercial and business aviation?

Only time will tell.

In the next 10 years, Gulfstream is poised to overtake Bombardier as the leading manufacturer of business jets while Embraer is set to do the same as the third largest manufacturer of commercial aircraft. The Canadian company has already invested too much time and money to turn away from the CSeries program, but will need to spend much more on the issue-laden project to see it to completion.

9FALL 2014 | Issue 47

CANADIAN ASSOCIATIONOF WOMEN EXECUTIVES& ENTREPRENEURS

Th is year Th e Women’s Law Association of Ontario teamed up with CAWEE at Th e Ladies’ Golf Club of Toronto. It was the perfect setting on a beautiful day ending with dinner and networking. Th ank you to all of our sponsors, volunteers, and of course, the golfers.

A Hole in One!

What to Do?By Nancy Shapiro

The issue of the disabled employee comes up frequently in the employment context. There is no doubt that an employee with an illness or physical disability can inadvertently disrupt the workplace: the employee requires time off from work, often without warning, leaving gaps in scheduling to fill and a shortage of assistance to deal with customer needs. Often the employee may be off work for days, weeks or even months. Employers wonder when it is enough and when they are able to hire a permanent replacement. This is a common inquiry. The answer is… it depends..

The place to look for guidance on this issue is not the Employment Standards Act, 2000 (“ESA”). The ESA addresses personal emergency leave due to illness, without pay, to a maximum of 10 days a year for employers who regularly employ 50 or more employees. But the legislation does not deal with employees who are, or become disabled, while working for employers of fewer than 50 employees. It is however, an obligation under the Ontario Human Rights Code (“OHRC”) to accommodate absences that stem from a disability irrespective of the size of the workplace. Terminating

employees because they are too sick to work violates the OHRC

and, will at the very least,

expose you to liability as well as potentially civil damages for wrongful dismissal.

In these cases, your obligation is to “accommodate” the absence and any special needs for coming back to work. The exceptions to that obligation are exceedingly difficult to meet and it should be presumed that you need to do whatever is necessary in that regard.

As an employer, you have the right to ask for medical notes to substantiate the absence from work. You are entitled to ask when it is likely the employee will return to work, any limitations or restrictions in performing the job and for any required or anticipated accommodation at the time of return to work. You are not, however, entitled to know the employee’s diagnosis nor to speak with the employee’s doctor yourself, unless the employee voluntarily consents.

You are not required to pay employees for days they are off sick, unless you have agreed to do so as a term of their employ-ment contact with you or by way of an employee manual. Similarly, you are not required to pay an employee full-time wages if he or she is returning to work part-time as part of a plan of accommodation.

It is impossible to provide a template on how to manage employee medical absences. No two cases are alike and can be difficult

particularly if the employee has been away from work for a

long time.

Disabled Employees

11FALL 2014 | Issue 47

In this case, the employer may wish to permanently hire someone else and inquire about terminating the disabled employee. This may or may not be advisable. Termination should only be done if medical evidence as to the employee’s prognosis makes it clear that there is no reasonable prospect of the employee returning to work in the reasonably foreseeable future.

Bear in mind that “reasonableness” will depend on such factors as: how long the employee has been employed; the employee’s age; position; income and other factors similar to what a court would consider in determining reasonable notice if you were to terminate an employee who was not disabled and not for cause. Each case must be looked at on its own facts, with a careful review of the medical evidence.

When managing the absence and return to work plan of a disabled employee, keep in

mind that hiring temporary staff and having existing staff fill gaps are available options. If no solution like that can be found, hiring someone with a contract of employment with clearly defined minimum entitlements on termination can ensure that when the em-ployee on leave is ready to return, the person hired to fill the gap can be released without large obligations associated with notice or payment in lieu of notice. In that way the obligation to return the disabled employee to work can be met.

It is impossible to provide a template on how to manage employee medical absences. No two cases are alike and can be difficult particularly if the employee has been away from work for a long time.

12 FALL 2014 | Issue 47

By Amy Brassart and Judy Grout

We have all been in the position of dreading a conversation we have to have with someone at work. We want something, but we are unsure how our request will be received. We are not sure how to say what we need to say effectively. We want to get our point across without stepping on toes. And yet, sometimes, no matter what we do, we inadvertently step on a stray toe! And then what do we do?

Here are a few thoughts and tips about having those difficult conver-sations. From the outset it is important to keep in mind that people cannot read your mind. And, of course, we cannot control or change other people. It can, therefore, be helpful to approach talking to peo-ple from the perspective of “it will help just to be able to express my-self,” even if nothing else changes.

Having Difficult Conversations

From the outset it is important to keep in mind that people cannot read your mind. And, of course, we cannot control or change other people.

To Begin With: • Be clear with yourself about what you want,

need, and wish to communicate. • Consider the other person’s perspective,

needs, and wants. • Be prepared to listen to the other person

before formulating your response. • Respond to what was really communicated,

verbally and non-verbally. • Try to focus on the issue, not on

the individual.

And, no matter how prepared you are, things can still go wrong or off track. What do you do then? Well, to begin

with, it is important to assess whether or not it is worth

your effort to recover from what unfolded.

And from there, it is important to look honestly at

your part in what occurred. We can often

be sidetracked by our acute awareness of what the other person did or didn’t do. Any

yet, we only have control over our part in the conversation.

So, here are some key questions to ask yourself: • What was my response?

• Was I able to be as objective as possible?

• What would I do differently next time?

To recover from a conversation that went off track:• Focus on the issue or the problem, not the person.

• Apologize, if necessary.• Work toward alignment, not agreement.

Having these difficult conversations can lead to stronger and more productive work connections and relationships. Learning to have and taking the risk to initiate these challenging conversations is a critical part of professional growth and development.

By Heather Freed

I’ve been taking time off from work to go to the Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF) for six years. I want you to know that it’s not vacation, but part of my continuing education, as each year I learn lessons pertaining to my business from the movies that I watch. I see between 18 and 25 movies (mostly foreign films and docu-mentaries) over the 10-day period. I was lucky this year. I saw 18 movies in seven days and only two were “Made for

TV” quality, the others were excellent.

Now on to the business lessons.

I saw two music movies. Whiplash – the story of an ambitious young drummer (Miles Teller) at a prestigious music academy who clashes with a hard-driving instructor (J.K. Simmons). The second was Seymour, An Introduction – an intimate documentary portrait of classical pianist, composer, author, teacher and sage Seymour Bernstein directed by Ethan Hawke.

Whiplash is about Jazz, was filmed in 19 days and Miles Teller does all his own drumming, while the documentary, Seymour, An Intro-duction, shot in New York, is about classical piano.

Mr. Bernstein’s teaching style is in stark contrast to that of the instructor in Whiplash (Terence Fletcher). Mr. Bernstein teaches with patience and love, while Mr. Fletcher says: “There are no two words more harmful than ‘good job’.” Mr. Fletcher pushes his students beyond their breaking point. Which style do you take with your clients?

tiff means Business

FALL 2014 | Issue 47 15

I know that I aim for the approach used by Mr. Bernstein.

Another movie I saw was The Dead Lands. In this film, set in pre-colonial New Zealand, the young son of a murdered tribal chieftain seeks vengeance on his family’s killers by learning the ancient Maori martial arts from a legendary warrior. This film is in Maori, shows how the 16-year-old chieftain’s son grows up and develops the ability to make independent decisions that go against tribal customs.

The important issue of customs in the movie sparked the business question: do you do things the same way as you always did them, or do you review your presentations and methods periodically to see if there could be a better way? While I believe that it is important to have specific procedures, changes in technology and social norms mean that you need to continuously update your approach.

Since I’m writing for a women’s group, I’ll finish with a docudrama with a love component - Red Rose.

A politically complacent middle-aged man (Ali) and a young pro-democracy activist (Sarah) debate about the future of their country while hiding from the police, in this fascinating drama that blends scripted scenes with on-the-ground footage from Iran’s 2009 Green Revolution. This story is fascinating because of the political situation described (2009 Green Revolution), the contrast to other revolutionary periods (both in Iran and elsewhere) and the developing relationship between Ali and Sarah.

As the movie begins, Ali is getting ready to leave Iran and due to his developing relationship with Sarah, he waits too long. The business lesson here is that timing is

everything and procrastination can result in significant lost opportunities. Are you disciplined in your business approach?

So, you can see, that going to the movies is not just fun and games. Hard work is involved. Feel free to contact me if you want information on how you can attend TIFF next year. tiff means

Business Heather’s TIFF Tips

Whiplash – the story of an ambitious young drummer (Miles Teller) at a prestigious music academy who clashes with a hard-driving instructor (J.K. Simmons) http://www.tiff.net/festivals/thefestival/programmes/spe-cialpresentations/whiplash.

Seymour Bernstein directed by Ethan Hawke http://www.tiff.net/festivals/thefestival/programmes/tiff-docs/seymour-an-introduction.

The Dead Lands http://www.tiff.net/festivals/thefestival/programmes/spe-cialpresentations/the-dead-lands.

Red Rose http://www.tiff.net/festi-vals/thefestival/programmes/contem-porary-world-cinema/red-rose.

16 FALL 2014 | Issue 47

Best Practices in Time Management

By Deanne Kelleher

Do you ever feel overwhelmed? Like you’re always trying to catch up? Or like you’re doing your best and it’s just not enough?

No matter what they say, this “getting organized” stuff isn’t as easy as the articles make it out to be. If it were really as simple as “three steps” we’d all be perfect by now. More realistically the opposite is true – we feel disappointed that we can’t keep up, we wonder why, and how we’ve end-ed up in this place.

Imagine a time when you were juggling multiple things at once, each of them very important. (For some of you, we could be talking about yesterday.) You may have been juggling a mixture of a difficult per-sonal situation, an aging parent, a very sick friend or relative, a failed project at work, a death, a demanding boss, a birth, a divorce, a change of job, or an influx of new clients. Each of these has the potential to be a stressor on its own. As humans, our initial response to stress is heightened senses and, from there, we move into fight or flight. Our bodies, ever so beautifully, go into protective mode. Unfortunately, this mode doesn’t help us with the little things, like our need for day-to-day organization. So what you might begin to notice are little things

going wrong – missing appointments, constantly running late, feeling over-whelmed, not being able to focus, losing notes, paying bills late, and a general sense of falling behind.

If you continue to juggle (because this is just the reality of our lives sometimes) without processes in place to support you (calen-dars, time strategies, a place for your bills, effective task lists, and files for your paper-

work) then the negative feelings will continue until you choose to

make a change or until your life calms and the mind begins to think more clear-ly. This is usually the time when individuals decide they’d like systems that work in their lives.

Not only does time spent planning

increase your productivity and save you money, it’s esti-mated that each minute spend in planning saves ten minutes in execution. The tools outlined below contribute positively to your overall productivity. For best results, choose one that resonates with you, implement it, and then introduce the next.

Set Your GoalsClearly defined goals are only the first step to get you to where you want to go. The next step is to schedule the time to work on them.

• Write down three kAos SMART ™ goals:

1) Simple, Measurable, Achievable, Real, and Timetabled (scheduling the next step in your calendar with a start and finish time).

2) Keep it in plain sight.

3) Review the benchmarks related to each goal weekly.

Use your goals to keep you focused and on track.

Manage ProcrastinationIs it really procrastination or do you need a block of time to start, or work, on a larger portion of the project?

• Schedule time to plan the project and break into manageable pieces.

• Set timelines for interim completion points.

• Delegate where possible; collaborate when necessary.

Manage your Meetings People who value their time, value agendas.

• Agendize (a new word which blends agenda with organize) your meetings.

• Title agenda items as review, discuss, decide, or other.

• Allocate specific amounts of time for each agenda item.

• Define who is responsible for each deliverable and when it is due.

• Schedule your tasks following meetings that you attend.

• Allocate 15-20 minutes to review, draft communications, schedule your action items, and then move on with your day.

• Optimize your time by scheduling meetings in the same area, on the same day, or back to back.

Write it All Down Create one master system (you can trust) for your actions, ideas, and thoughts.

• Schedule appointments in one calendar.

• Enter contact information in one database.

• Update tasks in one task area.

• Create templates for actions you repeat.

• Create a project file – if it’s a project – no matter how big or small.

• Conquer paperwork

Have an effective paper control system in your office. With the kAos Group Core Four System™ you can control the paper in your world using 4 sections:

To Do | To Pay | To File | To Read

You can visit http://kaosgroup.com/resources/the-core-four-system/ for your own kAos Group Core Four™ workbook.

Visit www.cawee.net for the latest news and more information on upcoming events.

Upcoming Events

CAWEE Breakfast Club Start your day off right!Date: Thursday, December 11, 2014 Time: 7:30am to 9:00am

Location: The Hot House Restaurant, 35 Church Street, Toronto

REGISTER

On October 22nd, CAWEE members and friends gath-ered at BnB Toronto Bistro Bar for an evening of wine tasting hosted by Michelle Paris of Adventure in Wine.

Guests tapped into their inner wine sommelier and learned the main characteris-tics of several varietals.

CAWEE’s After Work Events build relationships, expand your mind and inspire!

CAWEE would like to hear from you! We always welcome new ideas for aft er work topics and ways we can help you and your business grow through education.

CAWEE Aft er Work

19FALL 2014 | Issue 47

As a CAWEE member, you get regular opportunities to:

• Connect regularly with a bright, dynamic group of women• Build your network and develop valuable relationships• Develop genuine sales leads• Give and get qualified referrals you can trust• Exchange ideas, advice and support from highly

experienced executives and entrepreneurs• Enjoy networking in a comfortable, stress-free

environment

In addition, as a CAWEE member you can enjoy the following benefits:

• Save money with member discounts on all events• Provide guests with event discounts• Get published in our Acclaim Newsletter• Demonstrate your skills by joining a Committee or Board• Access members and our global affiliate members,

The International Alliance of Women• Take advantage of exclusive members-only events

and opportunities• COMMUNIQUÉ, sent

monthly to CAWEE members and Affiliate Organizations

• Association Medical, Health, Insurance, and Dental Plan with Manulife Financial

• Discounts through Constant Contact of up to 23% depending on your utilization and plan – please check with our office for more information.

Who are our members?

CAWEE women are leaders in their fields with strong professional networks. Our executives are typically middle management or of greater seniority within their business, and our entrepreneurs are typically the sole proprietor of a business with at least 4-12 employees.

Apply for membership today and take advantage of exclusive CAWEE events and opportunities.Join the CAWEE

Mailing List!Visit www.cawee.net and sign-up.

CAWEE Membership.The CAWEE Marketplace Benefits of Membership

Our members are seasoned executives and entrepreneurs who offer a wide range of products and services. We have built a strong network of women who are dedicated to providing the very best service with high professional standards. Check out our Marketplace and find out how one of our members may be able to assist you.

If you would like to place an ad in the CAWEE market-place, please connect with us at contact@cawee.net.

20 FALL 2014 | Issue 47

It’s Not What You Think.By Ellen Samiec

Are you a woman who is successful in life, but not in love? You’re smart, strong, and attractive, a great catch and wondering why you are still single. You’re questioning why the right man has not come along or the ones that have, seem to disappear. You may have gotten into relationships that were just not right for you and you are determined not do that again. After all, you have a lot going for you and you shouldn’t have to settle. Your strength and intelligence have worked well for you in business and brought you success in most other areas of life. You might even have heard those qualities might be working against you in your love life; that some are intimidated by strong, successful women.

Those who are insecure, can be intimidated by strong successful people, whether that person is male or a female. But, those are not the people you want to be in a relationship with.

Quality men do find successful, independent women attractive. The myth that men are intimidated by successful women is just that: a myth. It’s a misconception perpetuated by women who have come to believe that their strength and success is the reason they are

not in a relationship. They have probably even heard that excuse from their friends who are just trying to be helpful. That is because they can’t think of any other reason. The truth is, something else is getting in the way.

The best advice is: if you can’t find a great partner for you, then check your blind spot.

The reason most women are still single, or are in the wrong relationship, is because of their relationship blind spot. This is an inner block to love and relationship success that is holding you back. We all have our blind spots when it comes to romantic relationships, but some can be more challenging than others. The secret is finding your relationship blind spot. But the trouble is you can’t see what is there; you are not conscious of it. It affects your perceptions and can keep you from seeing and attracting a great man, even if they are right in front of you.

The Truth about Why Strong, Independent

Women are Still Single

The reason most women are still single, or are in the wrong relationship, is because of their relationship blind spot.

How can you tell if you have a relationship blind spot? There are a number of different indicators depending on what the block is:

• You feel invisible to men or potential partners – you never seem to meet any good people.

• You attract men and then they disappear.

• You keep attracting those that are emotionally unavailable.

• You attract good men, but you find an excuse to get rid of them only to regret it later.

• You have been told you are intimidating, but you are just being you.

So, what is the number one blind spot that is sabotaging women’s success in relationships and is keeping them single? It’s a block to feminine energy.

Women are born with a natural ability to attract men or partners, and in some cases it has been suppressed. You have probably seen the evidence of this natural ability in some pretty average-looking women who have no problem attracting great partners. This natural ability is feminine magnetism which comes from express feminine energy.

Women have both masculine and feminine energy, but, to get ahead in what has been a man’s world, some women have learned to use more masculine energy and supressed their feminine energy in the process. That masculine “take charge” approach can be effective in their professional life, but when it gets carried over into their personal lives it does not have the desired effect. After all, a date is not a business transaction; it requires a different approach.

Expressing feminine energy does not mean being weak or being a doormat. That’s neither feminine nor attractive. Feminine qualities are being open and receptive, warm and caring. This feminine energy is powerfully attractive. Men are looking for women they feel good with. So, if you are not expressing your feminine energy they can’t feel those qualities. And that is just not attractive.

It does not matter how great a woman looks, it is the vibe she puts out and the qualities she expresses that attracts and makes men want to be in a relationship with her rather than engage in a casual hookup.

To start to identify your relationship blind spot, look for the clues in your relationship life. The clues are in the patterns you experience in your relationships. It may seem like you never meet the right man, but consider if there are any common traits with the ones you do meet? Are they unavailable?

With greater self-awareness and learning to access and express your feminine energy, you will start to attract the relationship you want.

Masculine

Feminine

22 FALL 2014 | Issue 47

Kerry Cathers has been working with small- and medium-sized businesses for over 15 years creating and improving their documents. She brings clarity, purpose and strategy to business writing along with style. She provides a comprehensive style guide for brand consistency through all communi-

cations. She works with companies to create strategies for all communications. Kerry has produced reports, procedural manuals, HR documents, employee packages and brochures for such companies as KPMG, Assante, Aon Reed Stenhouse, Canadian Association of Women Executives and Entrepreneurs, and the British Governments’ Ministries of Defence and Agriculture. Check out her website at www.editorsplusinc.com or contact her for a consultation at editorsplus@gmail.com.

Krista Downey is a Graphic Designer. A visual storyteller, Krista believes good design starts with establishing authentic connections, followed by information gathering and asking the right questions. Her best quality is her ability to interpret information and determine your business,

product or service personality. From there, she will work with you to implement meaningful design solutions that will help you cut through the clutter and establish your unique position-ing. “I strongly believe great design makes for great marketing.” Contact her at 416.577.1251 or visit www.kristadowney.com.

Editor in Chief Kerry CathersArt Director Krista Downey

Assistant Editor/Writer Susan Yellin

Contributors The ABCs of Executive Presence by Anne Sowden

Risky Business - The Future of Bombardier by Alison LamDisability Insurance - What to Do? by Nancy Shapiro

Having Dif� cult Conversations by Amy Brassart and Judy GroutTIFF Means Business by Heather Freed

Best Practises in Time Management by Deanne KelleherThe Truth about Why Strong, Independent Women are Still Single -

It’s Not What You Think by Ellen Samiec

Forget Networking. Try Relationship Building.

Anne K. Sowden, AICI CIP, of Here’s Looking at You, is a Certifi ed Image Professional with the Association of Image Consultants International. She helps men and women present themselves with more confi dence and impact. This includes assessing their wardrobes, taking them

shopping, coaching verbal and non-verbal communication, refreshing business and social etiquette skills, and helping managers manage up and down. Anne co-authored Executive Image Power, the key ingredient to building professional confi dence, making a great impression and advancing your career in every meeting. Contact her at 416-429-8028 or through her website at www.hereslookingatyou.ca.

Susan Yellin is a former reporter turned public relations and communications professional, bringing strategic thinking and media know-how to proactive communications projects. Susan’s forte is taking complex issues and making them into compelling and interesting pieces aimed at specifi c target markets. She

has an in-depth background of the investment management and insurance industries and their issues, but has also written for members of the legal profession and St. Michael’s Hospital and is game for new projects in any fi eld. Contact Susan at 647-218-3241 or at s_yellin@rogers.com.

Heather Freed, CFP, CLU, CHS is an independent insurance specialist and investment representative. She works for her clients to fi nd them the best and most appropriate coverage. Most of her clients are business owners and self-employed individuals looking to protect themselves,

their families and their businesses from the unexpected occurrences of everyday life. Heather helps you “Insure Your Freedom.”

Alison Lam has been involved in the aviation industry since 2010. She owns and operates AeroCare International, a cross-provincial aircraft grooming and maintenance company that offers interior cleaning and exterior wash services to business jets as well as commercial aircraft. She volunteers extensively, participat-

ing on the board of directors of two non-profit organizations, bringing her business and entrepreneurial expertise in an effort to promote their continued development. With an MA from Queen’s University in French Literature and an MBA from the Kellogg-Schulich Global Executive MBA Program, Alison brings a unique perspective to her career, projects and endeavours.

Nancy Shapiro provides full-service employ-ment advice to employers and employees. She is available to assist with contract preparation and review, termination, restructuring, wrongful dismissal litigation, human rights issues and all of your employment needs. She is frequently engaged on the preparation and negotiation

of employment contracts and manuals, policies and assistance with Bill 168 compliance in an effort to proactively minimize risks and cost for her employer clients. Nancy can be contacted at nshapiro@kmlaw.ca.

Amy Greenleaf Brassert RSW is a psychotherapist and relationship coach. With over 20 years experience, she is both fascinated by and passionate about how we relate to ourselves and each other. She owned and operated a private practice as a psychotherapist in Seattle, WA before relocating to Toronto

in 2004. Amy believes her role is to people “re-assemble” their relationships in new, creative and innovative ways that support health and growth. Amy works with individuals, couples, business partners and any two people who want to “re-assemble” their relationships in new, creative and innovative ways that support health and growth. She believes that strong, healthy and vibrant relationships take care and attunment.

Ellen Samiec Ellen is a Relationship Mentor, Personal Executive Coach and Author, helping single business women overcome relationship challenges so they can find love and keep it. Ellen’s proven and powerful process empowers women to dissolve their hidden relationship blocks so that they attract love rather than

chase after it, enjoy romantic relationships that are aligned with their values, and create new, enriching relationships with them-selves and their ideal partners.

Ellen’s training, combined with her corporate experience in the financial sector and her 20 years as a Personal Executive coach working with clients internationally equips her with the understanding, compassion, skills, and lessons learned from the demanding career trenches to guide high achieving women to navigate the world of dating and relationships to winning and lasting outcomes that give them reason to celebrate beyond the scopes of their all-important careers.

Visit www.FinallyFindLastingLove.com or email Ellen@EllenSamiec.com to learn more.

Judy Grout MSW RSW brings over 25 years of experience as a psychotherapist providing individual, couple and family counselling. Judy currently heads up Compassionate Counselling, a private practice that provides counselling, coaching and wellness workshops. She has an expertise working with women

experiencing life transitions; in particular women who are single again after many years in a relationship, women who are single parents,(even with adult children), and women who are building their networks and friendships. Judy believes that by looking in the rearview mirror of self-reflection it is possible to find inner contentment and know how to build meaningful and lasting relationships moving forward in life. Her newest passion is the development of a program entitled Dating from the Inside Out, with her colleague Amy Greenleaf Brassert for those women wanting to prepare themselves for a healthy, loving relationship. For more information or inquiries please visit Judy’s website at www.compassionatecounselling.org.

kAos Group is a Toronto-based profes-sional and personal organizing consultancy. At kAos Group, we counsel clients to lift the weight of what isn’t working by providing practical solutions to optimize productivity, increase profits, and enable individuals and teams to move forward more easily.

As the leader and key driver behind kAos Group’s vision and Core Four System™, Deanne Kelleher develops systems and processes that help individuals and companies identify and implement needed changes to improve efficiencies and maximize growth potential, in both their professional and personal lives. We invite you to visit www.kaosgroup.com for more information.

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