Catalunya Chronicle March 2010

The Catalunya Chronicle - Issue 6 March 2010 - www.chroniccat.com -

The Catalunya ChronicleAn English Paper for Tarragona and beyond.... FREE every month ~ suitable for all the family.

Welcome to our March issue - we hope that you will enjoy it. Weare very pleased to announce that we are now being printed in Spain- Lleida, which will give us a little more time to prepare each month.

Furthermore, our print run increases yet again this month, up to4,000 copies which will enable us to deliver more copies to moresites.

A huge thank you to everyone who has helped (and continues tohelp) with the production and distribution of the paper - you areinvaluable.

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Inside This MonthReaders Letters

Tales from the Riverbank

PetsShort Story

Ice without the Gin and Tonic

Whats Online

Whats On

Sports

Reviews

Growing Nicely

Community News

Health

La Matanca

Food

Puzzles

Information

Classified Ads

The Final Word

and more....

ONCE UPON A TIME...

MORA D'EBRE , THE RIBERA D'EBRE REGION AND A BRIEFGLIMPSE INTO THE LIVES OF TWO BRITISH RESIDENTS.Jennifer Figuerola

Standing proudly on the banks of the Ebro and framed by the famous arched bridge, Morad'Ebre has evolved into a bustling market town of 5000 inhabitants, its commoditiesserving many of the surrounding villages and hamlets.

Somehow there is a completely different atmosphere to any of the coastal resorts; yesthere are plenty of bars and cafés, but the main focus is on the community and its needs,giving the town more of a sense of 'normality'. Of historical interest, there is an Islamiccastle and a convent, 'Les Mínimes'.

The parish church of St John the Baptist is beautifully preserved. Like most settlementsalong the river, boats or canoes can be hired to meander up and down to see the sceneryat its best with the backdrop of the mountains and the birds of prey circling overhead.

Other settlements in the region include Riba-Roja d'Ebre, La Palma d'Ebre, Flix, Vinebre,La Torre de L'Español, Ascó, Garcia, Darmós, La Serra d'Almos, Llaberia, Benissanet,Miravet, Ginestar, Tivissa and Rasquera. Mora d'Ebre is situated in the centre of theRibera d'Ebre region, and as such is the region's capital.

Directly across the river stands the smaller town of Mora La Nova, which came into beingafter the train station was built. The first train to stop at the station, from Reus, destinationZaragoza, was on 8 April, 1891. Gradually the town grew until becoming a municipalityindependent of Mora D'Ebre. The manor house, 'Mas de la Coixa', is an emblem of thetown's origins. It has also become very well-known for hosting the annual agricultural fair.Mora d'Ebre hosts the annual 'Casafir', every September.This is a hunters` fair, witharchery, gundogs, displays, birds of prey , police dog displays and obstacle courses fordogs.

For Kath and Gary Jordan, this is their third year actually living in Mora dÈbre, just outsidethe town. They looked around the area for a couple of years before settling and absolutelylove the area. They have around 11 large olive trees and 15 smaller ones, and Gary hasjust become the proud owner of half a very smart yellow tractor, with which he is clearingthe land for more trees and other vegetables.

They moved here to be closer to their son and his family and have gradually filled theirlives to the full. They love the fact that they don't live on the coast and are bombarded bytourists every summer, yet the coast is a mere 25 mins drive away when they do want togo.

Beer is cheaper inland too!

Get Involved.This is your paper - got a story to tell orsomething to moan about - let us know.

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Gary often wanders down to Club Nautica by theriver in Mora. It's one of his favourite dog walks,as there is a fabulous park there and surprisinglynot well frequented, so boxer Nancy is free toroam to her heart's content. Gary loves walkingand motorbiking along the river route and Kathtakes spanish lessons and is a member of theladies' group, Tiara, useful for all expats to gettogether for all sorts of reasons!

They have found the locals very friendly, withgranddaughter Maisie providing a useful way ofintegration, as they met a lot of locals when takingher to school. Their spanish neighbours, Teresaand Pasqual Blanch and their children Rut, IsaacandMario, have been great despite the languagebarrier and are now firm friends. Mora hostsfestivals throughout the year, which they enjoy,in fact the only gripe, if there is one, is the lack oflive music in the area.

A musician himself, Gary finds this frustrating, butintends to investigate the problem further andactually do something about it. So watch thisspace for news of a venue with live music fromthe mandolin, banjo, guitar, bass guitar and violin.Too good to miss!

Returning to the subject of thehistorical attracitons of the region, Ihave simply provided an idea of whatis where; a taster to prompt anyinterested parties to delve moredeeply.

I begin with Riba-Roca. Historical sources inRiba-Roja date back to Neolithic times, as thereare still remains of a settlement there, and otherlater remains of a Roman settlement. Parts of theancient fortress are still there and the church, SantBertomeu dominates the square.

The hamlets Santa Madrona and Berrús arenearby and definitely worth a visit. At La Palmad'Ebre, the church of Santa Maria dates back tothe 12th century, and it has recently beenrenovated. The village was built under theprotection of the magnificent 'Pi del Pino', agigantic pine tree, now itself protected byCataluñan law. It is literally situated a hundredmetres to the north along an old pathway, theGranadella lane. In the Town Hall, on the groundfloor, there is an ancient medieval prison. Just onthe outskirts there is 'Font Vella', an ancientfountain of Arab origin.

Flix is also of medieval origin, located on a hilloverlooking the river Ebro. Industry has alwaysbeen prominent here, principally the hydroelectricpower station and the dam. Yet there are alsomany interesting historical features, namely thecastle remains and the gothic temple of SantaMaria . Nearby is the Sebes Wildlife and NatureReserve of some 204 hectares. It includes thenature area of Sebes, located above the dam,which has one of the largest reedbeds in Cataluñaand a riverine forest.

There is a Meander area, around 5 km ofprotected river, with a river island below Flixcastle. The area is rich in wildlife, both for nestingand migration and there have been sightings ofmore than 200 bird species. In 1175, King Alfonsogave a donation to the knight Español de Prades,and the settlement was apparently thus namedLa Torre de L'español.

High up in the hills, the village is rich in history,but a word of advice if you decide to visit, makeit during the milder months. It can be bitterly coldin winter, with howling, relentless and veryunforgiving winds, which are infinitely

incompatible with wandering around and makinga day of it, and most certainly if you brave it to thetop of the Torno, where the views are stunningacross most of the towns and villages of the wholeRibera d'Ebre region.

There is the Horta fountain, of Roman origin, andthe Torrent fountain and the church isNeoclassical with beautiful detail in Baroque style.For a little place, it certainly holds its head up highin terms of historical interest.

Another town in the region with historical rootsdating back to Neolithic times is Ascó. The streetsare incredibly narrow in places, and overflowingwith signs linking it to its Moorish history. SeveralIberian settlements have been discovered in thesurrounding area, and again, it is dominated bythe classicist church, with a tower and a belfry.

Garcia is another settlement in the region, sittingon the confluence of the rivers Ebro and Siurana.There's a large recreational area on the riverbanks popular with visitors for the natural beautyof the surroundings. The old church, althoughdestroyed in the Civil War, is still standing andworth a look. Also of local interest is the hermitage

of Santa Magdalena, protected by a huge boulder,which is directly above it. The views from here arebreathtaking.

Darmós is an Arabic name, and although thechurch is beautiful, renovated in 1810, the mainfocus of the settlement is the Mata treedominating its surroundings. It is a unique speciesand featured on the Darmós coat of arms.

The municipality of Tivissa comprises the fourtowns of Tivissa, La Serra d'Almos, Darmós andLlaberia. Tivissa itself has a rich historicalheritage. There is the Iberian city of Castellet deBanyoles and the cave paintings of the FontVilella ravine.

The oldest, smallest hamlet of all, Llaberia, lies23km NW of Tivissa. From the hills above, some912m, it becomes clear that this area dominatesthe Tarragona plains. The Romanesque churchis surrounded by fountains, making it memorableand unique. Miravet, with the Knight's Templarcastle at the head, overlooking the village below,is steeped in history over many years of battlesand strife.

It is perhaps the most picturesque of all thesettlements, with houses set onto the cliffs andalong the river, all with a story to tell. The ferry isan interesting way to approach the village, andthe main square sits prettily on the riverside.

Ginestar houses the remains of one of the oldesttowns in Cataluña, the ravine of Gàfols, built inthe 7th century B.C. The church of Saint Marti,clearly visible from the road was built in the 18thcentury, as well as the Sant Isidre Hermitage, builtin 1617, on the outskirts.

Finally, Rasquera, last but certainly not least tobe mentioned, has two distinct parts. The town,ancient, with a centre that conserves the structureof a closed-in village surrounding a castle, andthen the land. Local artisans handcraft their workusing boxwood and palm, and in the Cardómountain range, there is a yew forest.

Skimming through all of the above, for anyoneinterested in the history of the region, it seemsthat you could well have more than a fewinteresting days out ahead, exploring the villagesand hamlets at your leisure. Only one thing left tosay really:

¡Disfrute!

ONCE UPON A TIME...(CONTD)

Nigel MortonEnglish and Spanish Spoken

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Readers Letters - to the EditorPlease address your letters to:- The Catalunya Chronicle , C/ Martirs6, 43500, Tortosa, or alternatively you may email them [email protected] letters must contain a contact telephone number - thank you.

The post-bag started to fill up - many thanksto everyone who wrote in. All submissions must be received by the18th of the calendar month to ensurepublication for the following issue.

READERS CALLS INTO THEEDITOR, REGARDING THEEHIC CARDS

We have had two calls regarding the EHIC -one last week, and one today, which havepassed over to you (Rosie Ray) as our 'EHICexpert'.

Jean & Ken rang to say they have receiveda letter from the UK saying that they are nolonger covered should they travel outside ofSpain. They are pensioners, resident in Spainand registered disabled. Apparently, as theirpension is paid from the UK then Spain willno longer pay for their medical insurance'abroad'.

Their telephone number is xxx xxxxxx(removed for privacy) they seem to bevery confused by the line the UK is taking.

I am passing this on as I have no realknowledge of the issue.

Also had another call from a Mr. Sharpendalewith what appears to be a similar problem.

Rosie Reay replies to the telephonequeries following on from the article onEHIC changes in the December issue andreply to a 'write-in' in the February issue:-

Firstly, Jean and Ken I have tried severaltimes to call the number supplied only to beinformed by the kindly Spanish ladyanswering that she had no idea who you werebut would be very pleased to chat to me allday. So I endeavour to answer your enquiryas best I can on updated information I haveand the standard run of the mill letter issued,as promised, by the Overseas HealthcareTeam to "him indoors" dated 28th Janaury2010. (My elderly mother too received thesame letter.)

However, each person's reference numberon the letter "MED is followed with a 6 figurednumber" and the enclosed eco-green postalapplication form is unique to that person'sE121 form that has been registered with

Spanish or Catalan Social Security body(INSS).

Now, I do not know for sure if this is the letterto which you refer and wondered if you havereceived an additional one. (** Jean and Ken)

Nevertheless, I will proceed, but please docall me directly or text me on +34 619 772492 or email me directly [email protected] so we maydiscuss your issues and alleviate yourconcerns.

Primarily, the online updated informationreads as quoted below.

Note:- it is interesting at this stage (in front ofthe above mentioned MED letters of 28-01-2010 being issued) that they cautiously usethe verb "may".

<New EU regulations from May 1 2010 >

http://www.nhs.uk/NHSEngland/Healthcareabroad/Pages/EUregulations.aspx

Due to changes in European Unionregulations, from May 1, 2010 the UnitedKingdom may be responsible for the issue ofyour European Health Insurance Card insteadof the member state where you live.

This will apply if you are a national of an EUmember state and live in an EU memberstate, and you either:

receive your state pension or other long-termbenefit from the UK and you have registeredthe form E121 with the health authorities inthe member state where you live; or

you are dependent on a citizen working in theUK and have registered the form E109 issuedby the UK

You will need to send your application bypost. An application form, along with anexplanatory letter, will be posted to you duringFebruary 2010. This application form will bedifferent from the EHIC application formavailable in the UK, and will be modified toprove your entitlement to the new UK-issuedEHIC card.

These cards will be sent out from April 2010onwards. If you return your completed

application form by the end of March 2010,your card should arrive before the newregulations come into force.

If you are not a national of an EU memberstate, or you live in Iceland, Liechtenstein,Norway or Switzerland, then the countrywhere you live will remain responsible forissuing your EHIC. In these circumstances,please contact the authorities in your countryof residence.

For more information please call theOverseas Healthcare Team on 0191 2181999.>>>>>

On another UK government'swebsite the following commentstates:

<NEW EU REGULATIONS >

If you live in another European Union memberstate, and the United Kingdom covers the costof your healthcare, the UK may beresponsible for the issue of your EuropeanHealth Insurance Card (EHIC) from May 1,2010.

Secondly, the standard letter issued below isthe very latest information available:-

< the MED letter of the 28th January, 2010-issued by Carol Shotton Business Manager>

The key paragraph reads:

**(Jean & Ken) < Due to changes in ECregulations, from 1 May 2010 the UnitedKingdom, as the member state responsiblefor payment of your pension, will also beresponsible for issue of your EHIC instead ofthe member state where you are now living.

If you wish to apply for an EHIC you shouldcomplete the enclosed application form andreturn it in the enclosed envelope. Pleaseensure you complete all fields and refer to thenotes and examples on the form to aidcompletion.

The application form contains your personaldetails and is not transferable. Applicationscan only be made by post at the present time.The cards will start to be issued by the NHS

CARTES A L'EDITOR


Business Services Authority in April 2010 andcan be used from 1 May 2010. Please notethat if you have any dependent children underthe age of 16 a separate letter and applicationform will be issued.>

I strongly suggest you should complete it andreturn it even if you have no definite plans fortravel in the EU outside of Spain. You neverknow when you may need to go quickly.Youcannot at this stage apply online.Only via'snail' mail and once they issued them it cantake 2 weeks to reach you as DWP post maybe sent via Ireland, Malta or Switzerland foronward despatch. I kid you not!

But read the next paragraph with caution.They continue:-

< The EHIC will cover any medical treatmentthat becomes necessary during your tripbecause of either illness or an accident, or inrelation to some pre-existing conditions.Thecard gives access to state - provided medicaltreatment only and you will be treated on thesame basis as an 'insured' person living inthe country you are visiting.>

I would recommend that you attach aseparate letter with your green MED formstating any pre-existing medical conditionsyou have and ask for written confirmation thatyou are in fact covered for those conditions.Then the reply you receive, always take acopy of it with your card. I find that statementrather worrying!

We proceed further as nothing is ever straightforward with these 'bods':-

<You are advised to take out private travelinsurance before you go to another country

regardless of whether you are covered by yourEHIC. This is because the EHIC does notcover all situations in which you might findyourself. For example, it will not cover the costof your journey back to your country ofresidence if you need to be sent home.>

More expense for the Expats to incur! The nextparagraph I have emailed them about fordetailed and precise confirmation of what eachcountry in the EU will cover. We never knowwhen we may wish to visit or take a differentroad, rail or air route back to old Blighty.

<Each country has different rules about statemedical provision. In some countries treatmentis free but in others you will have to pay partor all of the cost and then claim a full or partialrefund. If you do incur expenses during a visityou may be able to claim a refund bycontacting:

Overseas Healthcare TeamThe Pension ServiceRoom TC001Tyneview ParkWhitley RoadNewcastle-upon-TyneNE98 1BAEngland

Tel:-44 191 218 1999 (Monday to Friday8am-5pm, UK time)>

However, any telephone calls I would suggestyou take a note of the contact person andfollow it up by:

# Fax:0044 191 218 7376 # Email:[email protected].

gov.uk # Letter to the address above.

Their written reply may save you anguish ata later date, whereas a telephone call is noproof of what you are covered for!

I trust this information is helpful to you all. Ifyou are listed as a dependent spouse on theE121 form then you should have received anindependent letter and form. If not write offstraight away for it, cross referencing in toyour spouse's MED number and both of yourNational Insurance numbers. You must applyseparately and have your own card!Without due prejudice.

[email protected]

FOR A FREE CONSULTATION PLEASE CALL:

TONY on 678 149 697 or ANTHONY on 690 055 709 XERTA

E-mail: catalarmya@ live.co.uk

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LETTERS CONTD

Top 10 Things Only Women Understand

10. Why it's good to have five pairs ofblack shoes.

9. The difference between cream, ivory,and off-white.

8. Crying can be fun.

7. Fat clothes.

6. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudgesundae make a balanced lunch.

5. Discovering a designer dress on theclearance rack can be considered a peaklife experience.

4. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scaleever made.

3. A good man might be hard to find, but agood hairdresser is next to impossible.

2. Why a phone call between two womennever lasts under ten minutes.

AND THE NUMBER ONE THING ONLYWOMEN UNDERSTAND:

1. OTHER WOMEN!

Top Ten Things That Men UnderstandAbout Women

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

Sent in by one of our readers .. Femalewe think


SHELTER PAW PRINTS ...

Pets leave Paw Prints on your Heart

In this section we present 3 shelter animals each month, whoare ready for adoption and in search of a good home.

Shelter FavoriteMimi is a 2 year old spayed female. She's a lovely dog andgets along with anything and everything. She loves to playand be cuddled and would make a great family dog. Mimimay not be the prettiest dog to look at, but she sure makesup for it in sweetness! Her dream is to find a safe warmcaring home with lot's of attention.

Shelter AmbassadorThe 1 year old Momo is this months shelterambassador. When he was first brought in to theshelter he was extremely scared. He had beenbadly mistreated. He's a sweet dog who gets alonggreat with children and other dogs. He seems tohave lost his faith in humans and is looking for agood new home where he can gradually gain backhis confidence. Momo's perfect new home wouldbe any place with love and patience.

Shelter May-DayRico is a beautiful German Shepard Mix. He's young.Only about 1 year old. This beautiful animal came tothe shelter through the police, and sadly nothing isknown about his past. Rico is this month's shelteremergency because he's too scared to adapt well tothe shelter surroundings. Though he's big in size, theother dogs in his free-run pen pick on him and havepushed him to the lowest ranks. He's getting morescared by the day and is beginning to wither away.Rico desperately needs to find a home of his own, with a responsible loving owner,who can help him restore the confidence that this type of dog should have.

If you are interested in one of these animals, please visit the no kill animal shelter"Alberg d'animals de les Terres de l'Ebre" in Camarles. Saturday and Sundaymornings 9:00 - 12:00 there are english speaking volounteers present. currentlythe shelter does not have regular opening hours, so please call before visiting toavoid disappointment. Directions: On the N340 between L'Aldea and Camarlestake the entrance road next to the big red Estrella Dam building, at km 1089.5.From here, call the shelter at 619848778 and they will explain how to continue.www.albergdanimals.com

What happend to our shelter buddies from last month? Did they make a lastingimpression? Did they manage to leave their Paw Prints all over your hearts? Who wasadopted and who hasn't found their soulmate yet?

Sadly, none of our 3 shelter dogs have been adopted. They are still waiting for that oneperson to give them a second chance at life, with a caring loving new home. Hopefully asmall reminder of their loyal faces will spark a love with one of our readers and still leadto adoption. Bello, Lila, and Sita.

ARCA Association for therefuge and care of animals

Situated on the C42 TORTOSA ALDEA.

Are you able to help us by adopting one of our loving dogs which will enableus to carry on taking in others.

Alternatively perhaps you could help to sponsor one for a small amount per month as wecurrently have over 200 dogs to choose from.

We would be very grateful for any help or donations you can give to us. If so please contact:

MAVE 678975816 SUE 630791918 CARMEN 655040359.

[email protected]

WWW.PROTECTORAARCA.ORG

www.littlebritain24-7.comemail: [email protected]

TELEPHONE TIM OR ELISAON 696 894 134

FOR FURTHER DETAILS

Nominimum

orderSee us at the following venues:

ARTÍ

UERALCONSTRUCTION

C/Deu, 21, CamarlesTel: 636292568(English spoken)

[email protected]

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New Builds

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LES MASCOTES


TALES FROM THE RIVER EBRO VALLEYBY ROSIE REAY

NEVER TOO OLD TO TACKLEANOTHER LANGUAGE!

For years I have been put off by other Expatsabout taking up Catalan. Oh how I wish I hadnot listened to them and started studying itseriously many years afore. Now I am older,the brain is rustier and I have to now studyharder and longer. Continually pushing myselfdaily to find something in Catalan, outside mydesignated homework period, to not just pickand scan or discard because it looks toodifficult.

The beauty of committing to learning anotherlanguage is so exhilarating. A form ofescapism for me from my daily 24 hour CareDuties for 2 family members, (I put my handsup to this. I am guilty of this.)

But it is more than that! It hasgiven me something to focus on, apurpose, a chance to motivate theintellect locked away for far toolong in my dormant brain.

It has enabled me to think past today, to liveinstead of just exist as I have done for all of2009. I could not then think past the 24 hoursschedule I was locked into. I couldn't thinkabout tomorrow. I dare not think about the dayafter, let alone "Have I done my Catalanhomework for next lesson?" I feel I can startto hope again.

Catalan studying has restored direction backinto my life, irrespective of what the futureholds for me. Furthermore, even after just 4lessons (yes, just four ...quatre classes) I findit easier to read medical instructions andsigns. But the specialists and nurses are onlytoo please also to help me and explain whatcertain medical terms are in Catalan.

Admittedly, I do have a somewhat grasp of"Espanyol" But soon you see the correlationof certain words and phrases are similar, ifnot the same, but just a twist on thepronunciation or the suffix is different. Thoseyears, many moons ago when I sat bored in

a hot classroom, with African sunshinebeating in through the windows, yawningaway as Mother Superior droned on and on,trying to drum Latin verb declensions into me,is finally paying off!

All of the above is happening because I havefound the most delightful teacher. A lady whoshares my passion for all things linguistic, butthe mistress of many Romance languagestucked under her belt. What is more amazingis my professora lives within strolling distanced'la meva casa and I didn't even know until afriend happened to drop it into conversation!

Aside: Kerren Stephens BA Hons(University of Southampton)CertTEFLA. English-Catala-Castellano-Francais = translator,interpreter and teacher. +34 618 571233

This past week has been very exciting forValerie Collins and Theresa O'Shea co-authors of "In the Garlic" who wereinterviewed on Spanish channel 6http://www.buenafuente.lasexta.com/inicio

by the popular host Andre Beunafuente. Ifyou missed it you can see them on YouTubein two sections:

1. #http://www.buenafuente.lasexta.com/articulos/ver/entrevistas/191/dos_inglesas_preocupadas_por_la_burrocracia/138781

2. #http://www.buenafuente.lasexta.com/articulos/ver/entrevistas/191/frases_typical_spanish_traducidas_al_ingles/138783

While chatting with Valerie this week I askedif she could share some amusing or helpfulphrases in Catalan. She charmingly obliged.

"Well, of course there's the famous one 'Anemper feina' -let's get down to work.

Most of my favourites I learned from the TV3soap operas!

# És un tros de pa - He/she's a piece ofbread. Meaning = a lovely person, easy topersuade, a soft touch

# Són quatre gats.- (They are four cats).Meaning = Very few people.

# Aixó son figues d'un altre paner - (That'sfigs from another basket). Meaning = That'ssomething very different. That's another kettleof fish. "

Some people learn the swear words first. Ithink it is far more fun to learn phrases!Gracies a Valerie.

The first word I learned off CatalanTV was " Avui " - meaning Today,and the programme is similar tothe Yorkshire regional channel,where they pop up in localvillages, as well as covering theentire region of Catalunya.

Other methods of picking up Catalan is justto switch on Radio Tortosa while you do thehousehold chores or munch your breakfast.Just an hour each day and you will be amazedhow quickly you pick up the local accent onthese words - aquestes paraules- Theysuddenly start to mean something or becomeclear enough for you to look them up in adiccionari or be able to repeat them ad hocto a neighbour and ask them what they domean.

Local agenda de Jesus:

26, 27 i 28 de febrer

XV Fira de l'Oli de les terres de l'Ebre.

X Concurs de Pintura de Jesus

A local Ebro Valley olive oil fiesta held inJesus just off the C12 on the outskirts ofTortosa and exhibitions of local artists andother stall holders. A very interesting 3 dayand night event.

A method of learning Catalan, though lessamusing, is to loan your sons your car overthe festive season and then have to go andsign for a certified letter (long after they havereturned to the UK) sent to you from Municipi:Tortosa that reads - Estacionar un vehicle enzona de parquimetre, sense l'obtencio' previadel ticket...Import a pagar: 21,00 euro.

Changing holiday-maker trends

Folk in the UK are starting to think aboutholidays abroad and the enquiries are filteringthrough to us at www.BrighterSpain.com.However, it is a buyers market and we are

Ironworks by Stephen Snaith

For a free quotecall Steve

659 225 068NIE Approved

Email:[email protected]

GATESRAILING

STAIRCASESWRECKERS

HOME SECURITYMOBILE

WELDINGNO JOB TOO SMALL

BrighterSpain

RoseannVacation rentals - RelocationActivity Holidays - Property

Management.Local Guide - Advertising

Voice of Ebro Valleywww.EbroVoice.com

+34 619 772 492 (mobile) +34 977 059 306 (eve)

[email protected]


being asked to compete against favourablequotes against reputable hotels along thecoasts that are offering them at ridiculouslylow prices.

One example was for 375 pounds in total fora double room b&b for four weeks. How dothey do it? That is not a weekly rate, but thetotal cost for 2 people!

An enterprising holiday apartment owner(whose property nestles in the Natural Parksof the Els Ports) who has thought long andhard in the face of adversity and has comeup with a novel pricing idea. This is veryforward thinking and is matching the enquirytrends we are now seeing. The holidaymakers are no longer just accepting thedisplayed price structure and barter that whyshould they pay for 5 when there are only twoof them. The prices are quoted in sterling inthis example and are correct for 2010.

07 March 2010 - 08 May 2010 and 03 October2010 - 06 November 2010First 2 occupants 175.00 per week - Extraoccupants 25.00 per week

09 May 2010 - 26 June 2010 and 05September - 02 October 2010First 2 occupants 240.00 per week - Extraoccupants 30.00 per week

27 June 2010 - 04 September 2010First 2 occupants 285.00 per week - Extraoccupants 35.00 per week

Another option we can offer is a two centrelocation by working with two or more holidayproperty owners in different locations. Forexample, the first week the men may wish to

fish (ladies and kids may wish too also) or theladies may wish to "trawl the markets " andan evening meal in and around the town orvillages where you are spoilt for choice inmenus. Possibly taking a couple of days outon the incredible beaches and coves alongthe Costa Daurada and try a meal along oneof those delightful seafood restaurants alongthe marinas before heading home.

The second week they may choose either anexertive family holiday where they can get outon the bikes or hike the trails high up into theEls Ports either on their own or with a properguide (add on cost). The second choice neednot be active. It can be whatever you wish.As tranquil as you please alone with yourmusings, avid birdwatching or photography,lazing under citrus trees reading, writing orpainting or just stretching away the achesand pains, or tiredness as the sun kisses yourbones that have had too harsh a winter inother climes. (How did they survive thatwinter? I am so glad we sought warmerclimes!)

Aside: Will the lady walker-cum-writer (wholives near Tortosa castle) who contacted meover the festive period please, please call meon +34 619 772 492. I apologize profusely. Ifiled your number and email in a very safespot. (Sorry, 'I am only a woman' & all of uswomen are guilty of these safe spot(s) toplace things, I hear the male Ebrobritesgroan., "..never to be seen again.Well, notuntil next spring clean!")

Other holiday owners concentrate on couplesonly and can tailor more to the individualcouples interests and desires and even takethem around certain wineries or sharecompanionship in an enclosed courtyard withwonderful delights of self catering comingfrom the most magnificent outdoor kitchen Ihave ever seen. One you would expect to seeon lifestyle living pages in the "Sunset -Livingin the West" magazine. Your delightful hostshere can offer a choice of two apartments andthe upstairs studio one even has an outdoorjaccuzzi bath where the most amazingsunsets can be viewed while enjoying a glassof cava, or several and relax amongst thebubbles!

But all these properties still allow you to enjoya day out in Barcelona by taking the train. Butfirst I suggest you buy the book

"...from Barcelona. Stories behind the city:Volume 1 ".

See review in last month’s issue atwww.ChronicCat.com

It will give you so much more the feeling andvibrancy of the real Barcelona, plus hours ofenjoyment as you move from one short storyto another.

Talking about the author, he describes his 20helpful Spanish expressions in an article onwww.expat.com -well actually 19. One was inCatalan and it did make me laugh. I can sharethe link but because of copyright can not printthe phrase. But do look them up. You will beamused by Jeremy Holland's 20 phrasesExpatica.com or to learn more interestingfacts about Barcelona read his lively blogwww.frombarcelona.com .

Large families or two families travellingtogether - we have choices too. One thatwould suit those with teenagers more with ahuge pool and open lawns next to a canalwhere you can walk into a nearby village andnot far from the Via Verda, and Tortosamedieval town,

Where as, another has enclosed securedgardens and a delightful range of childrenplay equipment and games and trampoline,pool and more.

Or a posh villa set on the side of the Benifalletmountain with grounds right down to the EbroRiver and sleeps 10 people. Past tourists andlocals claim this as the most beautiful view ofthe River Ebro with a GR walking routecrossing their access road! Already heavilybooked for the 3 summer months, thoughthere are a few free weeks scattered over thatperiod.

Fishermen from Poland and other EasternEuropeans are also looking at holiday spots.So maybe the market is starting to come aliveagain.

We have many more options available andon both sides of the river! Folk are bookingshort breaks to Barcelona and then poppingdown for one day fishing and one night inB&B. Half a loaf is better than no bread at all!

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A Short Story by the Wizard..

A Debt Repaid in manyways

We had arrived here in southernCatalonia full of enthusiasm,expectation and perhaps a littleapprehension, to start a new life inthe campo surrounded by olive andcitrus trees.

Our little finca, small in staturecompared to the home we had left inEngland, gave us the promise of anew life without the pressure anddemands of living in a busy industrialtown in Lancashire. We gave ournew home a lick of paint, hungpaintings and prints on the walls,renovated the kitchen and generallymade ourselves busy in settling intoour new life.

Our Catalan neighbours made it apoint of honour that they introducedthemselves to us and made it clearthat we were most welcome. Gifts oflemons, oranges and bottles of themost tasty prepared olives would befestooned on our gate as if left byfairies and whenever we wereworking in our very large garden,they would shout across to us,waving their arms in welcome andask of us ‘Que tal’ to which we wouldreply ‘Mol be’ in our hesitant Catalan.

By the first summer we hadprogressed well, the vegetablegarden was in full supply and wewere able to repay the gifts that hadfestooned our gate with reciprocalofferings of courgette's, tomatoes,onions and beans. When ourneighbours passed by they wouldhoot their cars horns and nod inapproval that a gift had beenreceived. We truly felt at ease withall things around us.

Every evening on this first summerafter our evening meal, we wouldthrow the left over bread onto thestore roof for the birds and thefollowing day we were satisfied tosee that everything had been taken.Then one evening we were surprisedto see a young kitten, not more than

3 months old clamber up onto thestore roof and eagerly forage for theremains of the bread thrown for thebirds. When we approached, thekitten scampered off in the directionof the nearest hedge preferring thetotal secrecy and darkness that laywithin. Every evening she wouldreturn and as time passed by wewould try to gain her confidence byleaving a little food closer to the patiowhere we ate. Initially, at this stage,the food was left, she dared not tobe close to humans, but hungerovercame her and gradually shewould come up to the patio but notonto it to take the scraps of foodoffered. Our Catalan friends laughedat us saying that you cannot havejust one cat, beware, more will come.Perhaps they could not understandthe feeling that the English have foranimals.

Throughout that summer and intoautumn her confidence in us grewand she would spend more time onour land, taking the food offered andin return offering her thanks bydropping the occasional dead ratnear the doorstep to show herappreciation. We grew into her andshe into us. When we occasionallycame home late she would alwaysbe sat on the drive as if a parentwaiting for child to arrive home. Oncethe car had been parked up and weturned to enter the house, she hadgone, her duty done, but early thenext morning she would be within afew yards of the front door, waitingfor perhaps a few scraps of food.

We never attempted to handle her,and if she wanted something shewould find us, sit a few paces fromus and attempt to meow, I sayattempt because it was apparent thatshe was mute! This did not hinderher from forging a stronger friendshipwith us and occasionally she wouldeven rub up against our legs if shefelt that she was not being noticed.

Winter came and past, she hadfound shelter in the store. I hadthrown a scarf into an old deliverybox and she had claimed it as herown, preferring to sleep there than

out in the open. When she was aboutone year old it became apparent thatshe was pregnant but we decided tokeep her and see what she wouldpresent us with! As her time drewnear she became furtive and uneasy,we would miss her for long periodsof the day but she always returnedat nightfall for her meal. Then oneevening she did not return and forthe next 5 days we only saw a fewfleeting glimpses of her. It wasapparent that she had given birth butwhere was her litter of kittens?

Then one night we had anhorrendous thunder storm withtorrential rain and high winds, on andon it went, seemingly never to end.Just before we retired to our beds wepeered out through the open doorinto the porch and there in the shelterof one of the summer chairs were 3totally helpless kittens and as weglanced up, there on the patio wasmother with a further 2 kittens in hermouth bringing them into the onlyplace that she knew that she couldfind shelter, safety and security. Thefaith and confidence built up over theprevious year was now being repaidin full. On this dark and stormy nightwith rain in torrents and lighteningthat lit up the night sky as if daylight,she knew where of a place whereprotection was to be found with noobligation or demands. We quicklyfound a box and some old but warmbedding, placed it in the shelteredporch and watched as she carried bymouth each defenceless kitten intothe dry, warm box.

Over the next few days she hardlyleft her kittens alone, almost everytime we glanced into the box she wasthere feeding or tendering to heryoung. We quietly left food and waterby the side of the box so that she didnot have far to go in search of herown food. About three weeks later,our Catalan neighbour Phillipe cameup the drive shouting in someurgency. As we walked down to himit was apparent that he was carryingsomething. To our horror it was thebody of our cat, she had been runover by a passing motorcyclist asshe ran from Phillipe’s land onto

ours. We were overcome with griefand when we looked to Phillipe therewere tears also in his eyes, heunderstood our loss and shared ourremorse.

We were now left with 5 three weekold kittens who were totallydependent on their mother. Urgentefforts had to be made if thesedefenceless waifs were to survive. Aphone call to the local animal refugecentre soon put us onto the righttrack and after a quick visit to theiroffices we arrived back home withspecial powdered milk formula andan ample supply of syringes. Whenyou hold such a small creature in thepalm of your hand you suddenlyrealise how slender the thread of lifeis and to have the responsibility tocater for 5 of these creatures alldemanding in their squeals to be fedand cared for makes you realise howsmall we are in this unfoldinguniverse but by our actions anddeeds we can make an effort toassist in fulfilling not only our own lifeand of others around us but in allthings that make this planet such avaried and plentiful place that it is.

As I write this article I can look outonto the patio and see 5 growingkittens, playing with anything andevery thing that takes theiramusement. One of them has thewhite paws of her mother, anotherthe black and tan colouring of hercoat and another the mute cry thatwill always endear my thoughts ofsuch a trusting cat. And sometimes,sometimes, I swear that I can seetheir mother sat alongside them.

A debt truly repaid in full.

UN CONTE CURT

PROGAT DE TORTOSA www.progattortosa.com

Do you find disturbing the way that cats live and are treated on the streets? Join Progat and you´ll help us to help them.

Progat will be holding their next market towards the end of April, beginning of May, (date to be confirmed) where you may adopt a kitten or cat,or just come and support this wonderful charity and meet the volunteers who strive to look after the stray and abandoned cats here. If you haveanything to donate, ie, clothes, books, cds, dvds, bric a brac, anything, please call 977 44 20 26/977 44 66 49. Donations are also welcome.

If you decide to adopt a cat, sterilisation/castration is provided for free. Did you know that one cat can be responsible in only five years, of producing 20,000descendants?! ….


Another month, the shortest one at that, haswhizzed by. Now getting closer to warmer weatherand looking forward to moving away from the heatsource into the sunny outdoors. My mood willchange once awaking to sun and warmth plusseeing the wonderful colours of spring.

At the beginning of the year I promised to take onthe dreaded tasks of dealing with the bureaucraticpaperwork namely the new EU citizen documentreplacing the resident’s card, health card renewaland the easy one of making a new will. Yes thereis a smug satisfaction of it being accomplished,and only four mornings of sheer frustrations. Howone department does not synchronise withanother especially with new forms issued isamazing, now you can’t download them as theyare three-part.

Alright, I put my hands up to upsetting the system;once on their database there is no ability tochange nationality. Back in 2001 I was holding aBritish passport now I walk in with an Irish one. Adifficult very foreign customer just trying their newsystem!

Making a will could not have been easier - it tookabout an hour, cost a little under 40 euros. Nodiscount was offered from the Notary but he slylyasked if I would proof read his translation of thebasic will into English. He wants to be able to offera translation to English speakers. Thinking aboutthis I have now sent it to family members as whowould know I have it if both Peter and I diedtogether? This brings to mind a discussion lastyear.

In the situation of accidental death, not a subjectthat any of us wish to think of. Would your friendsknow the names of your next of kin? Does yourmobile phone just hold names and numbersshould the police or other emergency serviceneed to identify you and or your next of kin wouldthey be able to? A couple of years back I read anarticle which I have found again to share.

In case of emergency (ICE) is a programme thatenables first responders, such as paramedics,firefighters, and police officers, to identify victimsand contact their next of kin to obtain importantmedical information. The program was conceivedin the mid-2000s and promoted by Britishparamedic Bob Brotchie in May 2005.[1] Itencourages people to enter emergency contactsin their mobile phone address book under thename "ICE". Alternately, a person can list multipleemergency contacts as "ICE1", "ICE2", etc. Thepopularity of the program has spread acrossEurope and Australia

When interviewed on July 12, 2005 on the BBCRadio 4 Today programme, Brotchie said:"I wasreflecting on some difficult calls I've attended,where people were unable to speak to me throughinjury or illness and we were unable to find outwho they were. I discovered that many people,obviously, carry mobile phones and we wereusing them to discover who they were. It occurredto me that if we had a uniform approach to

searching inside a mobile phone for anemergency contact then that would make it easierfor everyone."

This came home to me last year when I was askedif I knew the names of a friends sons. She was inhospital but the police could not contact herfamily. What ever way is best for you and yourloved ones, share information as none of us knowwhat the future may be?

Finally the quotes below are some of myfavourites on the inevitable…………….!

Age should not have its face lifted, but it shouldrather teach the world to admire wrinkles as theetchings of experience and the firm line ofcharacter. Ralph B. Perry

Age will not be defied. Francis Bacon

Ageing seems to be the only available way to livea long life. Daniel Francois Esprit Auber

By the time you're eighty years old you've learnedeverything. You only have to remember it GeorgeBurns

Forty is the old age of youth, fifty is the youth ofold age. Victor Hugo

A useless life is an early death. Johann WolfgangVon Goethe

A lady of a ''certain age,'' which means certainlyaged. Lord Byron

Age imprints more wrinkles in the mind than itdoes on the face. Michel Eyquem De Montaigne

Age is a high price to pay for maturity. TomStoppard

Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don'tmind, age don't matter. Leroy ''Satchel'' Paige

Age is not a particularly interesting subject.Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live longenough. Groucho Marx

Alas, I am dying beyond my means. Oscar Wilde

ICE WITHOUT THE GIN AND TONIC

Large portfolio of properties within 50km radius of Tortosaare you looking for a finca or villa or apartment ?

Call or email for a free guide to buying propertyPlaca Paiolet 2 Tortosa (near the old bridge)

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email [email protected]

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GOOD ADVICE FROM KIDS

"Never trust a dog to watch your food."Patrick, age 10

"When your dad is mad and asks you,'Do I look stupid?' Don't answer."Hannah, age 9

Never tell your Mom her diet's notworking."Michael, age 14

"Stay away from prunes."Randy, age 9

"Don't pull Dad's finger when he tells youto."Emily, age 10

"When your Mom is mad at your dad,don't let her brush your hair."Taylia, age 11

"Never let your three-year old brother inthe same room as your schoolassignment."Traci, age 14

"A puppy always has bad breath--evenafter eating a Tic-Tac." Andrew, age 9

"Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at thesame time."Kyoyo, age 11

"You can't hide a piece of broccoli in aglass of milk."Amir, age 9

"Don't wear polka-dot underwear underwhite shorts."Kellie, age 11

"If you want a kitten, start out by askingfor a horse."Naomi, age 15

"Felt-tip markers are not good to use aslipstick."Lauren, age 9

"Don't pick on your sister when she'sholding a baseball bat."Joel, age 10

"When you get a bad grade in school,show it to your Mom when she's on thephone."Alyesha, age 13

"Never try to baptize a cat."Eileen, age 8


Your monthly round-up of the fun andthe factual from the internet.

Hope you enjoyed last month's list,this month we're going to open with auseful little site that makes tiny URL'sfrom long ones. I'll be using themwhenever I think it'll save you timewhen typing addresses into yourbrowser - example: http://bit.ly/

On the right hand side of their homepage there are some Tool options -check these out for easy sharing.

On with the rest then ...

GENERAL INTEREST:Learn how to make a fantastic tinyterrarium in a light bulb:bit.ly/bN6zyT

Think Mars is all red and dusty?:bit.ly/dn2ET0

15 cute(ish) animals that will kill you:bit.ly/85Qq9n

Bored of your desktop picture?:www.wallbase.net

SPANISH STUFF:Be prepared with this Spanish bankholiday list:bit.ly/aSPq60

Get to know your Spanish cheeses:bit.ly/bI3TAl

HISTORY:A sketch-pad story of pretty mucheverything:bit.ly/5m3Jr2

FOOD & DRINK:Quick lunch option of eggs in breadbowls:bit.ly/8sagvC

Spice-up your Sangria skils with thesevariations:bit.ly/bcJWdq

A twist on mussels to keep any manhappy:bit.ly/cIockh

CALLING ALL BRANIACS:You can never have enoughknowledge:www.mentalfloss.com

Now put it to the test(s):bit.ly/98X99P

JUST FOR FUN:Could this be one of the best jazzarrangements of all time?:bit.ly/9pMejU

Some funny takes on how movieposters would look if they told the truth:bit.ly/5WeuG5

A few twists on the humble tea bag:bit.ly/dfN5vk

A gentler approach to online games:bit.ly/179sk

How did your Valentines go? Anyworse than these?:bit.ly/csMC2d

This round-up was bought to you byJamie Watson.

Jamie is a freelancecreative offering webdesign, illustration,animation andbranding services,based in L'Ampolla.

www.jamiewatsondesign.com

WHAT'S GOING ON ONLINE?The Hunting Season is all but over....

Thank goodness that we no longer have to bewoken up by the virtual 4th of July everyweek-end morning. We will be able to stopworrying about the safety of our cats, and otheranimals that may become caught up in theweekly ‘sport’.

I have no problem with hunting for food, provided of course theydo not litter the place with beer cans, spent cartridges, and worstof all, the dogs them deem no longer necessary. With the end ofthe season, we must be aware that poison is put down to cull thestrays that are abandoned - a way of clearing up after themselves.

Last summer I applied to the Department of the Medi-Ambient inAmposta to remove my finca from the hunting register, to no avail.It was apparently not possible unless I had over 250 hectares,and preferably 500.

Speaking to my neighbour last autumn he mentioned that‘theoretically’ hunters were not allowed to shoot within 100m of aroad, that they were not allowed to shoot in the riverbeds, orbarrancs, and most telling of all, they could not shoot on land thatwas cultivated.

Armed with this knowledge, however flimsy, we erected smallsigns dotted about our finca, outward facing that bore the legend‘FINCA PARTICULAR CULTIVADA’ . Letting all and sundry knowthat this finca was private and was being cultivated or worked.Whilst we have seen many hunters nearby this season, we havenot had one set foot on our land. Maybe we were lucky, maybenot. At least our various animals enjoyed a respite.

At the end of October, I received a reply to an email that I had sentto some various department back in August. At the time I haddecided to email everyone and anyone connected to the Rural/Hunting side of things, in an attempt to find out how to take ourfinca outside the local ‘coto’ or hunting ground.

It appeared to have been passed around a bit - hence the delay- but eventually it found the right person, and they enclosed aapplication form which needed to be completed and sent back to

the MediAmbient in Amposta.

Hmmmm.....

I will keep you posted.

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CATALUNYA CHRONICLE SPORT’S PAGEWITH GOCATALUNYA.COM

F1 practice in Jerez ahead of new season

The Jerez circuit saw all the big names testing their cars mid February forthe forthcoming Grand Prix season with the focus of attention on old rivalsFernando Alonso, now with Ferrari, and Michael Schumacher staging hiscomeback with Mercedes.

Other teams practising included McLaren, Sauber, Renault, Red Bull, ToroRosso, Williams, Force India-Mercedes GP and Virgin GP.

Alonso was super confident about the performance of Ferrari’s new F10car, taking it trough 129 laps with a full fuel tank but the final day of testingsaw Britain’s Lewis Hamilton achieve the fastest lap time, albeit with lowerlevels of fuel and a dry track.

Hamilton’s teammate and current world champion Jenson Button also putin some impressive performances but couldn’t top Hamilton’s times.Thorough testing this season is even more crucial as new rules in placemean that there will be no re-fuelling during races.

2010 Formula One Calendar

Bahrain Grand Prix (Sakhir) 12 - 14 Mar

Australian Grand Prix (Melbourne) 26 - 28 Mar

Malaysian Grand Prix (Kuala Lumpur) 02 - 04 Apr

Chinese Grand Prix (Shanghai) 16 - 18 Apr

Spanish Grand Prix (Catalunya) 07 - 09 May

Grand Prix De Monaco (Monte Carlo) 13 - 16 May

Turkish Grand Prix (Istanbul) 28 - 30 May

Canadian Grand Prix (Montreal) 11 - 13 Jun

Grand Prix Of Europe (Valencia) 25 - 27 Jun

British Grand Prix (Silverstone) 09 - 11 Jul

German Grand Prix (Hockenheim) 23 - 25 Jul

Hungarian Grand Prix (Budapest) 30 Jul - 01 Aug

Belgian Grand Prix (Spa-Francorchamps) 27 - 29 Aug

Italian Grand Prix (Monza) 10 - 12 Sep

Singapore Grand Prix (Singapore) 24 - 26 Sep

Japanese Grand Prix (Suzuka) 08 - 10 Oct

Korean Grand Prix (Yeongam) * 22 - 24 Oct

Brazilian Grand Prix (Sao Paulo) 05 - 07 Nov

Abu Dhabi Grand Prix (Yas Marina Circuit) 12 - 14 Nov

* Subject to circuit approval

Seville v Athletico Madrid in Copa del Rey Final

Seville went through to the final of the Copa del Rey despite losing one nilto Getafe in the second leg of the semi-final. The Andalucian team wonthe tie 2-1 on aggregate following their two nil victory at home. Athletico

Madrid booked their place in the final on 26 May for the first time in tenyears after a four-nil home win couldn’t be overturned by the Cantabrianside Racing de Santander who won the second leg 3-2.

Injury woes continue for Nadal

Rafa Nadal has been told that he will be out of action for another monthfollowing a new injury he picked up playing Andy Murray in the AustralianOpen at the end of January. Doctors said that he suffered a tear in thequadriceps muscle in his right leg and was told to rest for at least two weeksthen make a slow return to training.

Nadal withdrew injured from the Australian Open semi-final clash againstAndy Murray and as a result has seen his world ranking drop to numberfour with the Scot moving into third.

Spain criticises Portugal over 2018 World Cup Bid

The Spanish sports minister Jaime Lissavetzky has told the press hedoesn’t see Portugal as "overly excited" at the prospect of co-hosting the2018 World Cup Finals with Spain. He infuriated the Portuguesegovernment by saying "It seems that those in football are more interestedthan the politicians." Portugal’s minister for sport Laurentino Diasresponded by insisting that it doesn't have any money to spend onremodelling stadiums due to the country's financial difficulties and that thefact there would be no new investment in stadiums was clear from theoutset.

The Iberian bid was regarded by many as favourite to succeed inDecember’s vote but this public disagreement will give both the Englishand joint Belgium-Netherlands bids a massive boost.

Next Month...

Full details of the 2010 MotoGP calendar which starts in Qatar on 11 April.

Tickets for all major sporting events, including FC Barcelona tickets, LaLiga tickets & Grand Prix tickets are also available online atwww.GoCatalunya.com

ESPORTS

Renewable Energy SystemsWe have 180 Watt Monocristalline panels in stock:

542,88 Euro incl. IVA.

We provide full installation / sales / service in theAmposta / Tortosa / El Perello region

Call 693 206 868 for more info, we speak English,Deutsch, Nederlands, y un poco de español


REVIEWSTHE EXPAT ARCBY DANIELLE BARKHOUSE

AN EXPAT'S JOURNEY OVER CULTURE SHOCK

Well, that remark issomething I canimmediately relate to,though mine was onarrival in ruralCatalonia and notIndia!

Canadian bornDanielle never set outto write a book. Shemerely startedblogging as a release of her emotions andthe highs and lows of adjusting to life abroadin Chennai, India with her husband (who wason another three year assignment) her sonConnor and his inseparable pooch Kramer. Itsoon became an electronic scrapbook of amore personal journal of her thoughts,experiences and photographs - a means ofstaying in touch with family back in Peoria,Illinois.So she was in fact already an Expat inthe USA. I am ever so glad to her loyal friendswho persuaded her that this would make areally good book.

Indeed it has! Her writing style is so friendly,open and honest. Often Danielle embracesthe use of lists and bullet points, but theseonly add flavour to her Indian 'pie'. Herpersonal photographs are strategically placedand are so descriptive, educational and oftenamusing as the scene unfolds in front of you.

I must be honest with you. I never beforethought of India as a country I would want tovisit. Danielle Barkhouse has unwittinglychanged that for me and I am sure her otherreaders will too place India on their wish listof "Places to Travel to". Danielle has craftedsuch vivid descriptions of the colourful placeand people. Sometimes sad, occasionally in

horror "Did I just see that?" sort of tone, butalways there is an underlining sense ofunderstanding, a very, very steep learningcurve, and a willingness 'not to give up'. Sheis definitely not a quitter. Expats the worldover can all take something of value awayfrom this book with them.

For those of us living out here in Catalonia orSpain we can always relate to her amusingchapters on "Creepy Crawlies", well, to thegeckoes at least. We know all about them!Though I think Danielle had some scarierencounters with more frighteningly "livingthings" in not one "Creepy Crawlies" chapter,but three of them. Oh, I did laugh out loud andsometimes even gasped.

One of the hardest things a woman finds inrelocating abroad is shopping for food andthis follows the cooking and menu planningas well. Even more so in India when youcannot just pop down to one hugesupermarket and buy the job lot, but have togo here there and everywhere.

Your shopping list changes or is discarded aswhat you want they don't have, never heardof or what the heck, "What is in season?" Itwas not long before she wrote "My tastebudshave adjusted to India before the rest of me."

I think the initial cultural shock Danielleexperienced was been given a personaldriver. She first pondered as to why they (herhusband's firm) thought it necessary for herto have one. As the story unravels you willsee tale upon tale about her being "driven outin the car". I don't want to say more as it willspoil the book for you.

Moving abroad with a dog and a school goingyoung child opened up unknown challengesfor both of them as well as the parents. Howthey coped, laughed and cried, coached andrejoiced, is of uplifting value to all Expats

struggling out there and those who arecontemplating doing it.

What Daniella sneaks into her blog stylewriting first for friends and family back homeand obviously later for all her readers, areeducational internet links of places wherethey have been to or as a point of reference.These I thoroughly enjoyed exploring! I onlywished that these beautiful sounding placenames were followed by the phonetics in howto pronounce them - but them I am a Namiac.

Danielle Barkhouse has beautifully coined aphrase as a chapter heading for each of herwritings. So you just do not want to put thisbook down and it is comforting to read hermusings that "India slowly grows on her or isshe growing on India?"

You may wish to visit her website atwww.earthtodanie.com. Even her web portalname made me smile and you warm soquickly to this cheerful person with such apositive outlook on life.

The title of the book was inspired after herfirst year's journey when chatting to a friendshe remarked it was like an arc. "The top ofthe arc is the height of an expat's discomfortand dissatisfaction". She goes on to saywhen you are coming down the other side ofthe arc it "is transformed into a colourfulrainbow, and we know what is at the end ofa rainbow!"

To me the reader, there were more rainbowsthan showers. A book to be enjoyed andtreasured by everyone, but an absolute mustfor every Expat the world over. Enjoy!

Become a fan of The Expat Arc Facebookand you can view a trailer of it too onYouTube.

by [email protected]

AV, Barcelona, 67 Edifici“Marfil” local 1 43892

MIAMI PLATJATEL 977 17 29 39

C/ Sant Antoni, 3143480 VILA-SECATEL 977 39 07 74

E-MAIL: [email protected]

ENGLISH SPEAKING LAWYER

ARCHITECTURE AND ENGINEERING PROJECTS

Avda. Barcelona 92, Local 1, 43892 MIAMI PLATJA Telephone: 659 736 403

Assessment and Legalization of Property Measurements and Topographics

New Building Drafts Valuations, appraisals and surveys

Technical Reports and Certificates

www.taeconsultors.com

David Pique Domingo

"When one engine fails on a twin-engineairplane you always have enough power left toget you to the scene of the crash."

A murderer is condemned to death. He has tochoose between three rooms. The first is full ofraging fires, the second is full of assassins with

loaded guns, and the third is full of lions thathaven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for

him? Answer on page 20


TALES FROM THE RIVERBANK

Well it´s nice to be back in sunny Spain after spending fiveweeks in the very cold UK.

Whilst I was there, I fished twomatches; both times we had to breakthe ice to fish so I was really lookingforward to getting back to some warmerweather - ha ha!!! Since being back Ihave had two days out on the river (oneat Amposta and one at Xerta), neitherwhich were very productive due to theriver being quite high and low watertemperatures. Roll on Spring!

However, II did spend aday at The ReservoirPunta d'Utxesa nearLleida in February. Ihad heard on thegrapevine it had beenfishing quite well, evenin this cold weather.After a couple of hourswith not muchhappening, we startedto get a few bites, after putting down a fairly good bed ofground bait (not too much at this time of the year though).The best thing to do was to sit and wait for a bite and weended up getting some nice carp and some fairly goodroach. We found that on the day, the best baits weremaggots and worms. Elsewhere on the river I have heardthat the sport has been fairly slow due to low watertemperatures and not much colour in the water.

I am certainly looking forward to March and April when theweather warms up to get a bit of colour back in the river,thus improving the sport.

Out on the delta, where they have started draining thecanals, the water levels have dropped. There are still fishto be caught if you can find a decent depth of water.

The English Childrens´clothes shopfrom birth to 12 years

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This is too true to be funny.The next time you hear a politician usethe Word 'billion' in a casual manner,think about whether you want the'politicians' spending YOUR tax money.

A billion is a difficult number tocomprehend, but one advertisingagency did a good job of putting thatfigure into some perspective in one ofit's releases.

A. A billion seconds ago it was 1959.

B. A billion minutes ago Jesus wasalive.

C. A billion hours ago our ancestorswere living in the Stone Age.

D. A billion days ago no-one walked onthe earth on two feet.

E. A billion Pounds ago was only 13hours and 12 minutes, at the rate ourgovernment is spending it.

Building Permit Tax

Cigarette Tax

Corporate Income Tax

Dog License Tax

Income Tax

Unemployment Tax

Fishing License Tax

Food License Tax

Fuel Permit Tax

Petrol/Diesel Tax

Hunting License Tax

Inheritance Tax

Inventory Tax

(tax on top of tax)

Liquor Tax

Luxury Tax

Marriage License Tax

Property Tax

Real Estate Tax

Service Charge taxes

Social Security Tax

Road Usage Tax

Local Tax

Vehicle License Registration Tax

Vehicle Sales Tax

Workers Compensation Tax

STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?Not one of these taxes existed 100 yearsago...

And our nation was one of the mostprosperous in the world.

We had absolutely no national debt...

We had the largest middle class in theworld...

And Mum stayed home to raise the kids.

What happened?

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BITS AND BOBS


When the grasses whisper, I amalways willing to listen to theirsecrets, although not tempted toshare mine with them, because Iknow they will tell!

The songs tell us, that ‘The trees don’t need to know,Don’t tell it to the breeze. Coz she will tell it to the birdsand the bees. Because you (whispering grass) told itto the blabbering trees’

Hit for the Ink Spots (1940)Hit for Davis & Estelle (1975)

Or have you heard the ancient Greek legend? Theysay, when the God Apollo wanted to punish Midas, hecursed the King with a deformity to bring shame onhis entire life, a personal secret he kept from all, excepthis wife, and his barber of-course, that he had ‘earsof an Ass’.

But his barber (or was it his wife) just couldn’t live withthe pressure of keeping such a terrible secret, so inutter desperation, shouted the secret into the ground,but unfortunately, the grasses heard it.

So it is a wise policy wherever you are, either in thecountry, along the river or beach, even in your owngarden, to just listen to the secret wisdom of naturewhen it is whispered.

The grass always tells where the water lies under thesoil, where it collects naturally, in fact, with the help ofthe grasses; I can follow the water, as I did when wefirst arrived.

That was nearly a decade ago, it was very wet, ‘wellyboot’ weather, in the middle of August! I wanderedaround the land, in the rain wondering what I woulddo first, to create my garden when the rain stormsfinally subsided.

First I found mature grape vines trained over dry stonewalls, with their leaves protecting the remains of theuntouched crop of grapes. I made a mental note toprune them.

I was held spellbound by the images of the grasseshung with droplets of water like jewels; water glistenedon the leaves making incredible shapes of our olivetrees. They are old, how old? I daydreamed of whatstories they might tell? Someone told me (was it thegrasses?)

Olive trees, here in Cataluña have been cultivated andharvested for their liquid gold since before Romantimes, in fact somewhere near Siena, there are treesthat have lived for more than 2000 years, and are stillin cultivation!

If you don’t believe me look at the tree in the picture,now protected by the government for its amazinglongevity!

As I walked a little further listening to the whispers,following a line of wild grasses, they became thickerand taller. I could hear them telling me about water onthe land.

Then, there it was, in front of me, a natural cisternformed of natural rock, which at ground level, was halfcovered with an old, almost invisible, curved brick roof,but leaving a gaping cavernous hole for the water togush.

Returning to our campsite to collect netting (to avoidmosquito’s breeding there) and wood to cover the topbefore Lucy, my small (town) dog discovered it, andfell in, I remembered to bring a torch.

Peering into the depth, to see for myself how truthfulthe grasses had been. I saw it was almost full of water,but the torchlight caught a ripple on the on the surface.Fear gripped me as I recognised the moving reflection,a dreadful memory from my trips to India!

Water snake.....water snake I cried very loudly,remembering how deadly poisonous the little tropicalsnakes were, but this was a huge monster.

I had calmed my instantaneous terror and lookedagain, before my partner arrived, what I saw was avery large, and quite distressed snake, that hadobviously fallen in.

We decided to leave a large bamboo ‘olive harvesting’pole in the water, resting on the edge of the gapinghole for the unfortunate creature to escape. Howeverseveral hours later, it was still in there, moving slowlynow, exhausted and unable to escape.

Whilst I was considering what to do next, my partnersimply leaned over into the dark, moved the pole underthe snake and flicked it up and out into the grass.

Time was suspended...nothing moved, we held ourbreath, the snake was still but it’s head was held high,like a Cobra ready to strike! We waited, all three of usfrozen in shock.... and in one spectacular, lighteningmovement, it was gone.

We laughed, cried and hugged. We had had our firstadventure in our new home, our welcome to the land.But those grasses had forgotten to tell me about thesnake!

That day we saved an adult (2 metre) Montpeliersnake, very frightening to a couple of city dwellers.Now I like to find their discarded skins to remind methat they are still living in close proximity, undisturbedby our presence.

The grasses are beautiful; they look so strong andexotic in spring. From such a variety of grasses, I triedto select a single type of grass which is predominant,like Drooping Brome (Bromus tectorum) in specificareas adding such richness to the garden; however,wild grasses are not easily tamed.

Or encourage grasses to grow together with a massof a particular wild flower, like a terrace of FieldScabious (Knautia ervensis), which not only looksfantastic but has a dramatic effect,

The small and beautiful Feather-Top grass(Pennisetum villosum), is so decorative amongst smallflowering shrubs, I try to keep in the flowerbeds but itflourishes, wherever the wind takes the seed!

We strim the grass on some terraces close to thehouse or make pathways, but however wonderful itlooks in spring, by midsummer, the grass is tinder dry.A lawn is completely out of the question with themonths of annual drought.

Instead, I have opted for swathes of green, drapedover pots and pillars, lots and lots of green in fact.Using a tiny plant not more than 5cm high but very fastgrowing, this little succulent perennial has come to myrescue.

Aptenia cordifolia is delightful, with bright green glossyoval leaves, covered in tiny pink daisy type flowers,which attract butterflies and insects.

It grows easily from small cutting 10cm long, planteddirectly in its final situation, spaced closely; it will givecomplete ground cover in months. Yes, it does controlthe weeds as well, but that is the bonus, however, itwill also overwhelm and kill any fragile plants, in itsway if allowed.

Now the cornerstones of my gardens design, is thegreen Aptenia cordifolia that ties all the disparatespaces together and unifies the garden, with beautifulwild grasses that merge it into the country.

GROWING NICELY

Ctra. Plages El Perello-L’AmpollaTel/Fax: 977 26 78 26


The Almond trees are infull bloom. The days aregetting longer. The suncomes out more often.

And the temperature is gettingwarmer. Spring is right around thecorner! ... and with it are the fleas.

Fleas are the peskiest ofall parasites because theymultiply faster than rabbits,irritate the host animal,and can be very difficult toget under control.

Fleas are tiny little dark browncreatures that are sort of flat, withlong legs that can help them jumpquite a good distance. They crawlaround your pet changing theareas where they bite the skin andsuck the host animals blood.

If you try to grab one you findyourself generally out of luck,unless you're a regular karate-kidwith chop-sticks. If you actuallymanage to almost grab one,chances are it'll disappear, andyou'll soon realize it has jumped ...maybe onto you.

Fleas are mostly uncomfortableand irritating to the host animal.But if the animal is very young, veryold, or otherwise unhealthy, theblood loss from an infestation cancause anaemia and death. Manypets also get flea allergies thesedays , which are difficult to cure.

Furthermore, though fleas preferfurry hosts, they don't discriminateagainst us homo sapiens. And inthe case that the host animalbecomes too crowded for some ofthese uninvited guests, they willmigrate onto us.

Fleas are truly pests for our pets!A flea lies in wait someplace. Thenas your unsuspecting cat passesby, The flea jumps aboard hiscandy store and begins to feed onthe poor animals juicy blood.

The bites of the flea cause the catto itch, and the poor animal startsto scratch itself. If the little flea isa female, she will start laying eggsright after her first meal.

Per day, she will lay about 20eggs!

The larvae that hatch from theseeggs hide in dark places such has

wood-floor cracks, tapestry,carpets, pet beds, etc. The larvaeturns into a cocoon and after a fewweeks a mature flea emerges. Thisflea goes in search of bloodimmediately, and after a firstsuccessful meal, will go start layingeggs again, completing thelifecycle of the flea.

How quickly the flea populationmultiplies and how long thereproduction cycle takes dependshighly on the elements, but istypically completed in 20 - 35 days.

If your cat was lucky enough toonly have had this one single hitch-hiker, the picture changes whenthe eggs start to hatch and an extra20 fleas a day start biting andsucking its blood. Your pet will beitching ALL over ALL day, and willstart to become veryuncomfortable.

You'll notice lot's of scratching andbiting itself. Bald spots will appearin the coat, and certain places maybe scratched till they bleed. There'sabsolutely nothing the poor animalcan do to rid itself of these peskylittle parasites, and depends onyou to relief its discomfort.

Your pets main goal is for you toeradicate the adult fleas that arecausing the itching. In the oldendays, fleas were very difficult to getrid off, but luckily with the yearssome very good and effective fleacontrol treatments have beendeveloped and brought on themarket.

You can use powders and spraysof all sorts of brands and for somethese may work fine. Your firstgoal is to kill off all the adult fleas.Many years ago this was done bygiving flea-baths.

Fleas cannot survive inwater and so dipping catsin a treated bath workedwell.

Unless of course the cat didn't wantto get bathed !!! For dogs thataren't afraid of water, a refreshingswim in the ocean helps get rid ofmany of these parasites.Nowadays there are also topicalflea treatments which are simplyapplied to the base of the neck withone quick squirt such asAdvantage and Frontline.

They stay effective in killing offadult fleas for 4 to 6 weeks, afterwhich the treatment should berepeated. With these treatmentsyou not only kill the adult fleasalready present on the animal, youalso kill the new hatchlings as soonas they get onto your pet, and anystray hitch-hikers that get pickedup from the environment.

Your pet will immediately feelrelief!

Be careful with using Flea Collars,especially on cats. Cats can easilystrangle themselves in thesecollars, and their safety to theanimals are disputed due to hightoxicity. The "Scalibor" Collars thatwork so great on dogs ONLY

against ticks and other stingingbugs, do absolutely nothingagainst fleas.

Do not forget about the flea eggsand larvae though that are hidingsomewhere in the petssurroundings. If you think that thebiggest extent of the flea problemare the fleas on your pet, you'requite mistaken. Only 5% of a fullblown flea infestation takes placeon your pet, the other 95%happens in the animalssurroundings, such as your home.

Be sure to use some type of fleatreatment for the environment aswell to kill off any of the eggs orlarvae that may be present there.There are many brands of spraysthat you can use that work quitewell.

But I must confess that they docome with an unpleasant odour,and most likely aren't the bestthings for us caretakers to inhale.But if you're unlucky enough to findyourself in the middle of a fleainfestation, you'll probably have toresort to these to break the cycle.

Your best protection against aflea infestation for yourself andyour pet, is prevention!

As a preventive measure you canstart in march by giving your pet aflea treatment which is effectiveagainst ALL the stages of the fleacycle for a continuous period ofaround 4 weeks and keeprepeating this treatment until themain flea season ends in the latefall.

This way, the fleas do not even getthe chance to diposit the 95% ofthe life cycle into your home! Oryou can comb your pets fur everyday with a flea comb and at thesign of the first flea, start givingtreatments for the fleas and thesurroundings.

In the colder seasons of the year,adult fleas are scarce and thelarvae in your home are dormant.

But as spring approaches and thetemperatures become morefavourable, the eggs will hatch allat once, and a massive fleainfestation will be upon us onceagain.

by Meike Knol

LES MASCOTES (2)

TELEPHONEBAZ ON

660 879 852or

977 050 302after 6pm


COMMUNITY NEWSPARSON PAUL PONDERS . . . .

The sky is blue, the sun beams down on theMediterranean coast at its best and a couplegaze into each other’s eyes, then make theirvows in a beautiful Spanish church. Itsounds like the perfect wedding scene andis very different from the British versionwhere the grey skies and drizzle might takethe gloss off your big day – not to mentionthat the bride is late and there’s anotherwedding party waiting to take over thechurch in 45 minutes.

This Mediterranean dream prompts many people to telephone me and ask“Can my daughter and her partner get married in church in Spain?” It is alovely idea and since we are all in the European Union you would think itcould be done easily but experience has taught us to proceed with caution.

Spain, like France and many other countries, views marriage primarily asa Civil Ceremony which may be followed by a church celebration. TheBritish custom where a Vicar acts as Registrar as well as Minister comesabout only because the Church of England is an “established church” andlinked formally to the state. In the UK because I am an Anglican Priest Imay also act as a Registrar – with all the attendant paperwork and worriesabout getting things absolutely right.

I have known British couples start the long form filling administration to tryand get their wedding performed in a similar way here but as yet none havesucceeded. They have got bogged down with bureaucracy as ever more

forms and certificates are demanded of them. We always encourage Britishcouples who want a wedding here to complete the legal and civil part in aRegistrars Office in the UK with as little ceremony as possible, then armedwith their marriage certificate we can offer the “real wedding” here, normallyin a local church which our Roman Catholic hosts allow us to use. A Vicarfriend of mine links this with the experience of buying a house. There is aday to sign and exchange contracts (that UK Civil ceremony) but the bigoccasion is Completion Day.

We do not refer to these weddings as Marriage Blessings but see them asmore than that. We offer the full marriage service, minus a couple of legalparts which have already been done in the UK. It also means that we havea day without legal concerns and can all enjoy a real Marriage Celebration.

They can include hymns and other music although not every church isequipped with an organ or suitable instrument. Catholics often singunaccompanied in their services. This has developed our resourcefulnessand ingenuity with pre-recorded music and the like. We also encourageother family members to be involved in the service if they wish – withreadings or poems.

Planning normally starts at least a year ahead although weddings can bearranged at much shorter notice. Until recently many families found a localrestaurant could cater for the wedding feast more cheaply than in Britainand our local hosts put their all into a celebration like this. Photographersare welcome – except at key moments during the service itself - and we(and the local Catholic church) are delighted when a family provides flowersfor decoration.

Our wedding fee of €350 reflects the cost of time, travel and preparationand compares favourably with the fee for a civil wedding in Britain. Ourchurch receives no outside funding for the many aspects of our ministryand most couples are also very willing for a collection plate to support themission and ministry here.

Although there are similarities with British church weddings we try to seizethe novelty of our location and make every couple’s big day memorableand individual. Over the past three years I have enjoyed getting to knowbrides and bridegrooms as together we prepared for a day to remember –in a unique setting. It is a joyful and encouraging aspect of a Vicar’s task.

Paul Needle is the English Vicar serving local congregations in Alcossebre,Ampolla and Vinaros. He can be contacted on 662 482 944 or there aremore details on the church website http://www.azaharanglican.org

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Saturday 6th March

Saturday 20th March

Saturday 3rd April

At the Homogenic Bar.

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WHAT ARE PROTEINS?

The word proteincomes fromGreek andmeans first. Asits name implies,proteins areessential, noprotein, no life. Ifyour body werea house theproteins would be the bricks and thereplacement parts when it needed repair.

Proteins are the essential material from whichwe are built and are part of the structure of alltissues and have key activities throughout thebody, from brain function to the formation ofdefences. Moreover, our body can use proteinas fuel (energy source) when needed.

Almost all foods contain protein to a greateror lesser amount, but not all are consideredhigh-protein foods. For example, fats (oils,margarine, etc.) contain no protein, and fruitsand vegetables contain only trace amounts.

Dairy products are rich in protein but areclassified as foods rich in calcium. The sameapplies to cereals, it is true that they havevegetable protein content but are noted fortheir high content of carbohydrates (sugars).

Foods rich in protein can be of vegetable oranimal origin:

Proteins of animal origin: meat, fish,eggs and dairy.

Vegetable protein: legumes, nuts,seeds and grains (especially wholegrain). Moreover, one must take intoaccount all derivatives of these foodssuch as tofu, veggie burgers, etc.

Given that in our body there is no reservoir ofproteins and that there is a high turnover ofproteins in organs and tissues (e.g., liver andintestinal mucous are regenerated in a fewdays), we can appreciate the importance ofa daily supply of protein through food.

The protein intake should be split into threemeals a day, because if you eat toomuch protein, it becomes fat, and excessnitrogen is excreted through the kidneysas urea and uric acid.

It is important to know where proteins areto learn how to eat better. Vegetarianshave long practiced thecomplementation of proteins, becausethey reduce the consumption of animal

protein (lactovegetarians) or even eliminatethem completely from their diet (vegans).

This protein supplementation is to join twoplant proteins (for example, a legume andcereal: beans on toast), or to pick a vegetableprotein and animal protein (e.g. milk andcereal: cornflakes with milk).

For non-vegetarians it is interesting to knowthis to understand that there is no need to eatas many meats, fish, eggs and dairy productsevery day and still be well nourished. Inindustrialized countries there is an excessiveintake of animal protein, so the currentrecommendation is that at least 50% of theprotein foods we consume are of plant origin.

To understand how this complement ofproteins works we have to imagine theproteins as if they were "words". These"words" consist of "letters" which are aminoacids. Animal proteins have all the "letters andcan form "complete words".

However, vegetableproteins were usuallymissing one or more"letters" (amino acids) andtherefore are "incompletewords" (incompleteproteins). Nevertheless,proteins have the property

of being able to complement each other, sothat vegetable proteins (legumes, cereals,nuts) which need a "letter" can join with othervegetable or animal protein which has thatmissing " letter " and form a complete protein.

The following combinations of proteins arecomplete proteins that substitute perfectly fora steak:

o Vegetables & Cereals: lentils with rice,beans on toast

o Legumes + nuts / seeds: hummus, whitebeans with chopped almonds (picadacatalana)

o Legumes + dairy: chickpea salad with freshcheese o Nuts / seeds & cereals: muesli

o Nuts / seeds + milk: yogurt with nuts oCereal + milk: rice pudding, bread and cheese

You need only add one further item to makebetter use of the nutrients and plant proteinsto enable them to replace a steak. Forexample, a salad and a dish of lentils and riceare a perfectly balanced menu, however, tomake it more complete you would have asalad with lemon dressing or eat a piece offresh fruit, as well as fruit fresh lemons arerich in vitamin C.

Why do this? Vitamin C helps our body toabsorb and make better use of the iron inlentils and vegetables. Foods high in animalprotein (meat, fish ...) have an "animal" ironthat we can absorb without problem, so noneed to add vitamin C, however it isnecessary when we eat plant protein(legumes, nuts ...).

A clear traditional example is humus; it is apuree of chickpeas with crushed sesameseeds (also known as tahini) with oil, garlic,salt and lemon. It's perfect, nutritionallyspeaking, as it is a legume together with oneseed, two incomplete plant proteins that lacka "letter" that together form a "word" orcomplete protein. In addition, lemon is addedin order to better absorb the plant iron.

Recommendations:

FAO / WHO recommend a protein intake ofbetween 12-15% of the total daily calories, ofwhich at least 50% should be of plant origin(vegetables, nuts ...).

How do you translate these manyhundreds of protein and calories intoreal food?

How do you know how much and how oftenyou eat these foods high in protein?

For simplicity we talk about daily food rations.The daily food recommendations by SENC(Spanish Society of Community Nutrition) fora healthy adult are 2 servings per day of meat,legumes and / or nuts.

One serving equals the following amounts offood, all weights are net (without bones,spines, shells, etc.):

1 serving of lean meat = 100-125 g

1 serving of white or oily fish = 125-150 g

1 serving of eggs = 2 eggs

1 serving of cooked legumes = 1 plate of150-200 g (60-80 g raw)

1 serving of nuts = 20-30 g, unshelled

CONTINUED ON PAGE 19...

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The Matança or pig killing is an annualevent in Catalunya, and usual is an excusefor a party, albeit only after the hard workhas been completed.

There is anelement of ritualsurrounding theday, but inreality, it is thesummation of ay e a r ' sinvestment inanimal feed andthe provision ofmeat for theyear to come.

Our neighbours had been rearing two pigs,and mentioned that they would be holding amatança, enquiring whether we would like tocome and help. There is always a lot to do,and the more available to help the better. Acold, clear day is best and so I duly trotteddown the road at the appointed time to meetthe matador (slaughterer) and the pig'sowners, and lend what assistance I could.

The actual killing of the pig (with no name)was very simple, fast and quiet.

No stuck pig here, and within a matterof minutes we were loading it's carcassonto a van to transport it 400 yardsaway to prepare it for the pot.

Scraping the skin with a knife, having firstsinged it with a blowtorch revealed a coveringof smooth milky white fat and then the workbegan. Skilfully, the butcher split the body intotwo halves, extracting the various 'bits' whichwere put on one side for one purpose oranother. It was eerily like watching an episodeof 'Silent Witness' as they remarked that mostof the internal organs were similar in size tothat of a human body.

No doubt the origin of the phrase'long pig' in the cannibal language.

Having extricated the necessary pieces totake to the vet for analysis, the two sides wereput on a table and covered, to be left for thenight, and ready for the sausage fest thefollowing day. I looked at my watch and wassurprised to see that only 90 minutes hadelapsed – they work fast especially wheresomething as important as food is concerned.

I was exhorted to bring my family the followingday, and by the time we turned up, a cauldronwas on the go (my daughter would not evenlook into it) full of suspicious-looking piecesof skin and bone, together with some bits youthought you could recognise, but would rathernot.

The best meat – fillets, chop, pancetta andsteaks – had already been whisked away, andwe were left with the making of the sausages,a serious business. We helped cut up, mix,and prepare the various piles of meat thatgrew ever larger. There was a remarkable airof calm and busy endeavour as it all slowlybegan to make sense. This meat goes intomaking that type of sausage – these bits wewill barbecue now – put those over there for

making fuet, and where is the parika?

When it was judged that we had processedall the meat possible, we had a break for

breakfast – a glass of red, bread with oil anda rib or two, together with some pieces thattasted delicious and fortunately wereunidentifiable having been barbecued.

My son (el carnivore) almost had to bedragged from the table.

Vast bowls were now assembled, spices weremixed and the sausage machine was broughtout, together with a bowl of casings that hadbeen soaked overnight. We made chorizo,bottifara – black and white, plain sausages,sobrasada and fuet – salt and pepper here,more paprika there. A hint of chili, some sugarto balance it, and some eggs to add somerichness.

Each type of sausage had it's own cut ofmeat, and therein lies the tricky part, knowingwhich bits to put into what sausage.

Next we fed the sausage machine, havingprimed it with the casings, and then cut andtied them off into the correct size accordingto the recipe. The botifarras were then boiledin the cauldron, for twenty minutes and hungout to dry, under the careful eyes of twoever-circling dogs, waiting for their moment.

Once the work was over, we cleaned up andretired into the farm-house with a roaring fireand a table groaning with beans and variouspork-derived products. It is traditional to servebeans with the pork at a matança, and cooked

LA MATANÇA DEL PORC

4th April 2010THREE COURSE SELECTION

INCLUDING GAMMONOR TURKEY

ROASTS

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with pork fat, these were some of the nicest I had everhad.

The texture of the meat and it's flavour, was astonishing,quite unlike anything we had tasted before, and thesausages had an undefinable quality which attested totheir freshness.

We left in the late afternoon, replete and honoured tohave been asked to share in this fiesta – we admiredthe skill of the butcher and his knowledge. Later thatevening, our neighbour called in with several kilos ofmeat as a gift for helping – it's traditional apparentlyand I have no argument with that tradition.


LA COMIDA

Traditional Butchers since 1910

Specialists in Home Cured Meats

Camarles (Main Shop) - C/27, 8 - Tel: 977 470 045Deltebre - C/Sebastia Joan Arbo, 6 Tel: 977 480 633

Tortosa - Pl.Jaume 1, 1 Tel: 977 510 323

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Lamb - Pork - Beef - Chicken - and much moreSausages - Burgers - Meatballs

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We supply Joints with the skin left on for Crackling

Los

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lats del Paolo

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 18

There are at least seventeen officially recognised varieties of sausagein Catalunya, and we made four types.

Botifarra - the most common of all - white botifarras are medium coarse in textureand were seasoned with salt and pepper with a few eggs stirred into the pork. Blackbotifarra is a blood sausage using bread soaked in the blood of the animal andsometimes rice is added.

They are boiled for 20 minutes to ‘set’ all the ingredients, and hung out to dry for acouple of hours.

They are traditionally served boiled and sliced, although I much prefer the fried a laNorthern Black Pudding from the UK.

Sobrassada is a smooth almost pate-like sausage flavoured with garlic and paprika,and is the speciality of Mallorca. It is bright orange.

Spread on toasted bread, it is very rich, and a little goes a long way. It is dry-cured- we have been given one which has to hang in our kitchen for at lest two weeksbefore we can use it.

Chorizo - heavily reliant on paprika, in our version they included garlic, salt andpepper. Another one to dry but for much longer than the sobrassada.

Fuet - again dried - this sausage contains mixed meats and only salt and pepper. Itis dried and then sliced as a cold cut.

CHEAT’S CUISINE

Meat Pate

Buy a large jar ( or 2 small ) of meat pate of yourchoice and empty into a bowl, fry off a few choppedonions with a little chopped garlic and you can add afew chopped mushrooms if you wish, throw in a fewchopped herbs, fresh or dried mix together andseason to taste, chill for 30 minutes then enjoy withcrusty bread,toast or add to a salad for a light meal,if you are entertaining pour a little melted butter overthe top of the pate. Done.

Cinnamon Apples

Slice some apples and cook off in a little water towhich you have added a small amount of brown orwhite sugar a little cinnamon to taste and somesultana's or currants cook on low heat until soft about10 minutes depending on type of apple, it is nice tokeep a little bite to the apples, serve warm or cold withcream,yoghurt or ice-cream. I know it is too early tobe reminded but they make you think of Christmas soare a nice quick winter pud.

Meat cooking Tip

For many years I have always cooked my meat orchicken ( except for pork with crackling ) in about ainch of water this tip was given to me by an auntieafter asking why her meat was always soooo moistand of course is healthier and ideal for watching yourweight.SENC weekly recommendations for a healthy adult:

Oily fish (mackerel, sardines, tuna, salmon ...): 2 servings / week

White fish (hake, grouper, monkfish, cod ...): 2 servings / week

Eggs: 3 or 4 a week

White meat (chicken, turkey, rabbit ...): 2 servings / week

Red meat (beef, lamb, beef ...): 1-2 servings / week

Nuts (almonds, hazelnuts, walnuts ...): 3-7 servings / week

Legumes: 2-4 servings / week

ARANCHA COROMINA DIETITIAN-NUTRITIONIST

LA SALUT

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 17

Simply text:- your name, the town you live in,your email address & your date of birth to:- 600 516 603

You could win :

A necklace from the Vie Jewellery Collection,

An Aromatherapy Massage

A Skin Specialist Facial

Or a pamper session where you can try thelatest innovations in skin care and cosmetics

Ms. M. L. Wilcox Holistic Therapist,in conjunction with Vie at home.es


The Xerta Citrus Fair which came into beingonly last year and was a great success, takesplace again this year on the 6th and 7thMarch.

The main activity will once again be based around theCasal with numerous stands dedicated to citrus fruitand local cuisine. Xertolins and xertolines will bedemonstrating local cooking techniques and preparingdishes including desserts typical to the area andFrancesc Lopez, chef at the "Torreo de l'India", the restaurant at the Villa RetiroHotel, who has recently received a Michelin star is expected to take part.

Visitors to the fair will be able to sample some of the dishes that restaurant ownersand volunteers will prepare in the kitchens that are being especially set up forthe occasion. In the central area other stands from Xerta and the Terres de l'Ebrewill be offering food and drink to sample against the purchase of special ticketswhich can be bought on arrival.

As was the case last year, there will be a marquee on the sports ground outsidethe Casal and this will house the remaining exhibitors: various local councils,local associations and businesses, etc. No doubt photographs entered in thephotography competition will once again be on display, the subject of which willcome as no surprise: "THE ORANGE".

Should you not be fortunate enough to live in the 'orange belt' as we do, rememberthat until next month we still have available oranges and satsumas freshly-pickedat 1 Euro per carrier bag (as well as home-made marmalade). Just [email protected] for more details.

MASSATGE a 11 punt 11

► OINTMENTS► CREAMS► GELS► LOTIONS► OILS► EMULSION► EROTIC COSMETICS

► THERAPEUTICMASSAGE► SPORTS MASSAGE► RELAXINGMASSAGE► BEAUTY MASSAGE► SHIATSU

Tel 977 58 11 11Plz Joaquin Bau 13

Tortosa

►LYMPHATICDRAINAGE(VODDER METHOD)

►RESONANCEWAVE PRESSURE,THE ALTERNATIVE TO

LIPOSUCTION, TONING,WEIGHT-REDUCING ACTION

Near Mercadona www.oncepuntonce.com

We supply complete installations – direct import.Solar Panels 800W, Regulator, Inverter, Batteries 3.950€

Wind Turbine: 500W/1.120€ - 1.000W/1.620€ -2.000W/2.150€

Generator diesel aut. start/stop/charger/inverter 1.590€

Incl. IVA delivered Camarleswww.notjustolives.com/explo

Mobil:644 24 3415 / [email protected]

SOLAR PANELS / WIND TURBINESEXPLO ESPAÑA

M MMONE MAINTAINANCE

Finca, House, Swimming Pools,Repairs, Decoration, Construction,Pruning and Garden Maintainance

ENGLISH - SPANISH - CATALAN

For free estimates please call:636 250 794 [email protected]

Beware the processional caterpillars! They makesilken cocoon style nests in the pine trees and when onthe ground, they form a line, hence their name. TheyFata Morgana

Restaurante Pizzeria

EntrantesPastas

Pizzas enhorno de

leñaCarnes

PescadosMenu diario

Horarios:De Lunes a Domingo de13:00 a 15:00 y de 19:00 a23:30. Sábado mediodíacerrado

Plaza del Club Náutico43895 L'Ampolla

Reservas: 977 460 707 619 757 648

New and Resale Properties, Large/SmallFarms/Coastal, River/Countryside.

We have several clients looking for your property so give us a call if you want to sell it.

www.catalonianproperties.com e-mail: [email protected]/Fax: (0034) 977 470 924 Mobile: 606 813 219 or 615 316 722

Catalonian Properties

Riddle AnswerThe room with the lions is the safest - as they have not eaten for three years,they they will be very dead.

Last Months’s Crossword SolutionAcross: 1 Estuary English, 10 Radii, 11 Deadly sin, 12 Tally-ho, 13 Toffees, 14Nabob, 16 Organ loft, 19 Magic eyes, 20 Hatch, 22 Fairway, 25 Rip-offs, 27Itinerant, 28 Snail, 29 Greetings cards.

Down: 2 Saddlebag, 3 Unify, 4 Radiology, 5 Enact, 6 Goldfinch, 7 Issue, 8Handset, 9 Cretin, 15 Buckwheat, 17 Gastritis, 18 Out of hand, 19 Miffing, 21Hassle, 23 In ice, 24 Yearn, 26 Pasta.

Distribution Points.A full list and map of all our collection locations isavailable on our web-site, and if you do not find onenear enough to you, then please let us know.

Currently we have managed to place the paper in thefollowing towns and villages.

L’AmpollaL’AmettlaCamarlesAmpostaTortosaMiravetTres CalasEl PerelloCambrils

SalouHospitaletReus AirportAlcossebreUlldeconaFlixXertaRiba-RojaMora D’Ebre

PeniscolaBenifalletMiami PlatjaGandesaBitemVinaros

... with more tocome

A MISCELLANY


PASSATEMPSBelfastBlarneyBogBostonDublinEmeraldErinFiddlersGaelicGoldGreenGuinnessIrelandIrishIsleJigKillarnyLeprechaunLimerickMichaelMonaPaddyParadePatrickPeatPotatoRainbowShamrockSlainteSnakesStone

Across 1 Closure device, a foot and a timepiece without charlie (7) 5 Gap between an island (5) 8 Supporting the Anglican Church (5-8) 9 Away, extinguished, available (3) 10 A curse for the modern motorist, it surely does not (9) 12 A person who travels by foot (6) 13 Pleasantly occupied, a poet with an old penny (6) 15 Soft woollen fabric, these mate for life, and then go lower (5,4) 16 A groove, not a good place to be stuck in (3) 18 Unconscious gaffes, Austrian womens underclothing (8,5) 20 Foliaceous, page at a journey's end (5) 21 Noisy young woman, boy denoting small size (7)

Down 1 Musical instrument, soft (5) 2 Image recording device, of fingers to begin with (7,6) 3 Without smell, (9) 4 Bears, issue a knockout sadly (6) 5 Tree money without college head (3) 6 Tie yourself down and show signs of this (4-9) 7 Cut out the bad part (7) 11 Had many amourous affairs, this lady is in the printing world (9) 12 Sad (7) 14 A foul of sorts in a summer game, missing a round object (2,4) 17 Flavour, style, a strong

liking, take a sample of (5) 19 Humorously sarcastic or

mocking, lacking moisture(3)

Cryptic Prize Crossword

Little Britain €10 voucher for the first correctsolution. Please email or post it to us, with yourname and telephone number.

Word Search - with a St. Patrick’s Day feel to it.

Easy Medium Hard - 234567890 used


Que? Monthly look at some differences between Catalan andSpanish words

English Spanish CatalanMarch Marzo MarcListen Escucha Escolta

Let´s see A ver.... A veure....doctor El medico El metgeparents Los padres Els paresbrother El hermano El germasister La hermana La germana

chocolate chocolate La xocolataHerbal tea La infusion La infusio

tea El te El teOrange La naranja La taronja

Wine El vino El vijuice El zumo El suc

Advertising RatesTo advertise in the next edition of the Catalunya Chronicle wewould need your copy before the 10th of February 2010.

Personal Classified Ads are FREE up to a maximum of 35 words, and subject toa maximum sales value of €1000.

Business Classified ads start at €15, subject to size.

Whether you have your artwork or not, included in the price we offer a designservice and we will endeavour to match your requirements.

The cost of advertising is €0.80 per square centimetre, and there is a 10% discountfor a six month run. This price includes IVA ( at 16%).

Let people know you are in business - can you afford not to?

The CatalunyaChronicleC / Martirs 6, 43500, Tortosa,Tarragona, Spain.

Website: www.chroniccat.comemail: [email protected]

Telephone:636 292 568 (Chris) or646 353 442 (Tim)

Deposito Legal: T-1528-2009Circulation: 4,000 this month(1000 more than last month - whoopee)

Printed by: Lerigraf sl

No part of this document may bereproduced without written consentfrom the paper.

The Catalunya Chronicle cannot beheld responsible for the contents of thearticles supplied by it’s contributors,nor for the claims made by it’sadvertisers. Trademarks andCopyright are held by their respectiveowners.

We would like to thank all ourcontributors, article writers andadvertisers for all their fabuloussupport.

Copyright © The Catalunya Chronicle2010 All Rights Reserved.

INFORMATIONWhat’s On

Sunday 28th February 2010L’AMPOLLA BOOT SALE10.00am – 1.00pm Camping St Jordi, Platje Ayellanes,L’Ampolla. Tel: 679 115 247

Friday 5th March 2010CLASSIC CAR MEETING6.00pm For new location and more details call 678 718446 .

Saturday 6th March 2010FREESIA GROUP BOOK SALE Homogenik, El Perello.

Saturday 6th March 2010 - 14th March 2010FIESTAS DE LA MAGDALENA, CASTELLONVarious events throughout the week. For furtherinformation go to www.castellonturismo.com

Sunday 7th March 2010MORA BOOT SALE9.00am – 1.30pm at C/Garcia Restaurant Braseria, CanPalomo, Mora La Nova.

Thursday 11th March 2010INTERNATIONAL SPEAKING GROUP MEETING6.30pm at Edificio Bahia Blanca C/Paisos Catalans, 74L'Ametlla De Mar. For more details please call 977 267418 or email [email protected].

Sunday 14th March 2010TORTOSA FRIENDSHIP CLUB10.00am Meeting for all nationalities at Parky’s in Rival DiChrist. Contact Brian Parkin on 660 990 422 or 977 059911 for more info.HIPACA ESCORNALBOU, VILANOVA,D’ESCORNALBOU BOOT SALE.Sellers 9 am, Buyers 10am, Bar & Restaurant - No freshproduce allowed. Contacts: Cosme on 620 215 772 orSilvia 665 159 781.

CHURCH OF ENGLAND CHURCH SERVICE12.30pm L'Ampolla Village Church. All welcome. Followedby optional Menu Del Dia Lunch. Enquires 977 593 219

Saturday 20th March 2010ARCA TABLE TOP SALE10am until 2pm Bar Estacion,L'Ampolla to raise money forArca Dog Refuge Centre.

FREESIA GROUP BOOK SALEHomogenik, El Perello.

Sunday 21st March 2010MORA CARAVANS, MORA CAR BOOT SALESellers 9.00 am Buyers 10.00am C12, km 61 Mora LaNova – Ginestar All enquiries to 977 400 375 / 659 418317

Wednesday 24th March 2010CHURCH OF ENGLAND CHURCH SERVICE12.30pm L'Ampolla Village Church. All welcome. Followedby an optional Menu Del Dia Lunch. Enquiries: 977 593219

Sunday 28th March 2010L’AMPOLLA BOOT SALE10.00am – 1.00pm Camping St Jordi, Platje Ayellanes,L’Ampolla. Tel: 679 115 247


CLASSIFIED SECTION

Home MassageL’Ampolla Area~ Therapeutic ~

~ Relaxing ~~ Thai Massage ~

~ Shiatsu ~Call Fina

669 110 719Only €30

FOR SALETOWN HOUSE, MIRAVET

Ideal B&B4 ensuite double bedrooms

Roof Terrace,Garage275 000€

Tel: 977407540/ 675071794

FOR SALEDREAM CONVERTED BARN,

DORDOGNE, FRANCE

3 beds/2 bath/2 reception,one with huge fireplace,

garden, well,.....Bargain, 275 000€

Tel: 977407540/654875163

PICK YOUR OWNCITRUS FRUIT

Pick your own XertaSatsumas and oranges forjust 1 Euro per carrier bag

Tel 977 473278 fordirections

FOR SALEFinca of 4 journalesin Filato, Camarles.

Good location with casa.Two bedrooms, kitchen,dining room, bathroom,

garage etc.Has Olive and Carob trees.

Good price.Tel: 626 111 368

NVQ 3 Qualified CareWorker

Available forhome help / respite care

Also 24/7 house/petsitting

El Perello/L'Ampolla/Tortosa & Amposta areas

Contact Hazel on638430338

[email protected]

or for Vinaros/Benicarlocall Dot on 600564097

COMPACT TRACTORSIROMER 204s 25 BHP 4WD, POWER STEERING,SHUTTLE GEARBOX, 5

YEARS OLD,GOOD WORKING ORDER,

VERY GOOD WIDETYRES,

GREAT LITTLE TRACTOR,DELIVERY POSSIBLE€4,100 OVNO (COST

€7,000 NEW)TEL: 610 550 371 (FLIX)

FOR SALEBaby’s Large Crib

€70on wheels(can be wheeledaround the house) made in

Germany, comes with lemondressing

Miami Playa977262697

[email protected]

FOR SALETrace & Invertor Charger 1.5

KVAVery Good Condition

490 Euros ono.Telephone 650 318 700

WANTEDLooking to rent ideally athree bedroom house,suitable for family, with

caretaking and maintenanceduties considered.

Tortosa Area.Please Call 630 533 548.

HOLIDAY RENTALMORA D´EBRE.

Traditional village house.Small courtyard, terrace and

balcony. Close to shops,river and mountains plusonly 30 mins drive awayfrom beautiful beaches.

35€ per night all year round.Sleeps 4.

Tel: 977414188/670287358

FOR SALEGenerator automatic

start/stop due to batterycharge. From 999€+IVA

Viggo Peetz 644 24 3415 /[email protected]

FOR SALEStuder inverter 12 volts.

2 years oldnew price 1850 euro s.

price 975 euro s.Tel: 637.937.637

Beautiful watercolourpaintings of your pet or

your house.The perfect special gift andan exclusive work of art totreasure always. Price €38.For further information callRosalind on 664 721 744

FOR SALEMotorbike - Suzuki 50 cc

Yellow Spanish reg.price 275 euro .tel 637.937.63

FOR SALEPanasonic Digital TV 28

€70 onoSilver

5 years oldL’Ampolla Area

Phone 977 460 043

FOR SALEPetrol driven water pump

Offers4" bore. Static unit - buyer tocollect. Any reasonable offer

considered.Telephone 669 079999

WANTEDMusicians wanted for male

and female vocalists,keyboard, lead guitar,rythm

etc. Influences Rock,Country, Stones, Quo,

Diamond. Jam sessions withview to Gigging.

Phone Peter 977473008 or652995723

FOR SALEBaby's Pink Bath and

Changing Mat€60

on a stand with wheels andshelves so that all is at hand,

also has pipe fixed to bathfor easy emptying


[email protected]

Diagnosed with Cancer?or had Cancer in the past?

We are a support group whomeet once a month & keepin touch to share, care &

support each other.Contact Charlotte -

[email protected] 622 553446

MUSIC LESSONS, MiravetTeacher: Jennifer Anne

Figuerola, (English)Piano, keyboard, violin,

Theory of MusicRoyal Associated BoardExaminations possible

Individual half hour lessonplus 15 mins aurals 10€

Tel: 977407540/654875163

BACKACHE? VARICOSEVEINS? FROZEN

SHOULDER? TENNISELBOW?

FEEL THE RELIEFMULTI-LEVEL THAI

MASSAGEA drug-free procedure,

suitablefor men, women or children.

Initial consultation 20€;Subsequent individual

treatments, 30€Contact Floreal Figuerola in

Miravet: 977407540675071794

FOR SALEBaby’s Pram

€200Brand New, can be used as

baby car seat, pram andthen pushchair, three in one.

Dark orange and grey,perfect condition.


[email protected]

FOR SALEElectric Cement Mixer

€150two years old. Privately

owned had little use. Costover 300€

View Mora d Ebre.Telephone 669 079999

Personal FOR HIREAll types of Agricultural

Work undertaken byexperienced farmer. Treessprayed and pruned. Land

ClearedHelp with Livestock.

Has own tractor.No job too small.

Call Davide on680 150 309 (Spanish) or

636 292 568 (English)

FOR SALEDining Table and Chairs

€390 o.n.o.Dark wood dining table with4 brown real leather chairsfor sale. Perfect condition,hardly used - can deliver


[email protected]

FOR SALE220/240 approx Plastic rooftiles (Unbreakable & strong)

2 sheets MDF 1.2 m x2.00m & a quantity of

Decking.Any reasonable offers.

Phone 670395754

FOR SALEHigh sided Trailer

€350100cm X 100cm X 70cm

incl. spare wheel and cover.Inside base wood covered.Ideal for building materials,

olives, carobs etcTel 977473008 or

652995723

FOR SALE20 x 2 metre fencing poles

€150 for all 20or €10 each.

Call 977 059 101

FOR SALE3 large water deposits 1000

LTRS50 euros eachtel 634162377

FOR SALEJob lot complete clearanceof floor and wall tiles latest

modelstel 634162377

FOR SALE100 acaroids buy what you

need 3 euros each and largeamount of metal fencing 5

euros a sheettel 634162377

WANTEDGas fridge, gas cooker, gas

bottles (yellow butane)wanted offer to

[email protected] ormobile: 644 24 3415

FOR SALEDIY and builder’s kit for sale.

Power tools, scaffold,barrows, pumps, props.

Near L’Aldea. Please call fora full list

629 010233FOR SALE

SUBARU LEGACY GX 4WDAUTO PETROL ESTATECAR 1995 N REG RHDTOWBAR/ELECTRICS6STACK CD PLAYERALARM 88000 MILESGOOD ALL ROUND

CONDITION 895 EUROSTEL 626641078

FOR SALEElectric Cement MixerGood

working order.125.00 euros

Telephone 977 456 915

FOR SALEOutboard Motor

Mariner/Mercury 15hp LS 4stroke. Superb condition,

1000 eurosAndy 600890453 Tortosa

FOR SALELarge amounts of plumbingand electrical material buythe lot or what you need

guarantee less than 50% ofthe cost

tel 634162387

FOR SALEGas Water Heater Edesa95€ Mobile Gas Heater

Ufesa 55€ Both in Perfectcondition, Butane Cylindersincluded. L'Ametlla De Mar

628 283 861

Free to a good home.New home urgently wanted

for 2 yo British Bulldogcalled Lily.Good

temperament, full pedigreeand fully innoculated.

Genuine reason for need torehome.

Please call 977 810 392

LostSense of Humour - last seen15 years ago. Disappeared

at the same time as mymarbles. If found please call

636292568


THE FINAL WORD

We go that extra mile to ensure your move runs smooth!ESTATE AGENTS

URGENTLY WANTED - PROPERTIES FOR SALEIN L’AMPOLLA & L’AMETTLA DE MAR

Doh!

My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the girl a £5 note.Our total was £4.20, so I also handed her a twenty pence piece. She said, 'you gave metoo much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but that way you can just give me a pound back.' Shewas puzzled and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, andhe handed me back the 20 pence and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.'The girl then proceeded to give me back 80 pence in change!

Do not confuse the staff at MacD's.

We had to have the garage door repaired. The GARADOR repairman told us that one of ourproblems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for aminute, and said that we had the largest one GARADOR made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.He shook his head and said, 'Madam, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 waslarger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two…'

We haven't used Garador repair since.

I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the local town council officeto request the removal of the "DEER CROSSING" sign on our road. She said the reason was:'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them tobe crossing anymore.'

My daughter went to a local Kentucky Fried and ordered a taco. She asked the person behindthe counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,"'Has anyoneput anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was withoutmy knowledge, how would I know?"He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with anintellectually challenged co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. Iexplained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'Whaton earth are blind people doing driving?!'She is a Local County Councillor

When my husband and I arrived at Our Local Ford dealer to pick up our car, we were told thekeys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic workingfeverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctivelytried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to theFitter/Mechanic, 'its open!'His reply: 'I know. I have already done that side.'

A coach party were out for the day, stopped off at a refreshment halt in Hertfordshire andqueued up for tea and coffee. One group asked for "Six decaffeinated please.” To which thegirl replied: "Sorry, we only do coffee!"

STAY ALERT!

They walk among us, and the scary part is that they have theRIGHT TO VOTE and to REPRODUCE!

It was a beautiful, sunny Sundayafternoon while Moses, Jesus, andanother guy were out playing golf. Onthe first tee-box, Moses pulls out hisdriver and blisters a shot up the rightside of the fairway, rolling fasttowards a water hazard. Mosesquickly raised his club, parting the water while his ball rollsthrough to the other side safely.

Next up on the tee, Jesus hits a really long drive righttowards the very same water hazard. His ball came to restdead centre of the pond, hovering just over the surface ofthe water. Jesus casually walks out onto the pond, andchips it up onto the green within a couple feet of the flag.

Not impressed, the third guy steps up to the tee withouttaking any time and just randomly whacks at the ball.Rightfully so, the ball is hit with a nasty hook that clearsthe left OB markers and goes over a fence into oncomingtraffic. It bounces off a truck's windshield hitting a nearbytree, bounces onto the roof of the green keeper's shed,back out onto the fairway and towards the same pond thatMoses and Jesus hit. Before it gets wet, the ball ricochetsoff a small rock and bounces onto a lily pad on over thewater when a bullfrog jumped up and ate the ball. Right atthat moment, a bald eagle swoops down and grabs thefrog, flying away. As it flew over the green, the frog squealswith fright and drops the ball right next to the flag, takingone bounce and landing in the cup for an astounding holein one.

In disgust, Moses then turns to Jesus and says, "I hateplaying with your Dad."

Catalunya Chronicle March 2010

News & Politics

Transcript of Catalunya Chronicle March 2010