Castles in the Air

THE STUDENT WEEKLY SINCE 196904.08.10

Inside: Public officials, free agents, and The Last Song.

Castlesin theAir

04.08.10 vol. xli, no. 20

2 [email protected] 04.08.10 • The Harvard Independent

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Cover art by KAYLA ESCOBEDO

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Co-PresidentsPatricia Florescu ‘11 and Susan Zhu ‘11

Editor-in-ChiefFaith Zhang ‘11

News and Forum EditorRiva Riley ‘12

Arts Editor

Pelin Kivrak ‘11

Sports EditorDaniel Alfino ‘11

Graphics EditorSonia Coman ‘11

Associate News and Forum EditorWeike Wang ‘11

ColumnistsChris Carothers ‘11

Sam Barr ‘11

Staff Writers John Beatty ‘11 Ezgi Bereketli ‘12

Arhana Chattopadhyay ‘11 Andrew Coffman ‘12 Levi Dudte '11 Sam Jack ‘11 Lester Kim ‘11

Marion Liu ‘11 Hao Meng ‘11 Alfredo Montelongo ‘11 Nick Nehamas ‘11 Steven Rizoli ‘11 Jim Shirey ‘11

Diana Suen ‘11 Alex Thompson ‘11 Sanyee Yuan ‘12

Graphics, Photography, and Design Staff Chaima Bouhlel ‘11 Kayla Escobedo ‘12 Eva Liou ‘11

Rares Pamfil ‘10 Lidiya Petrova ‘11 Kristina Yee ‘10

For exclusive online content, visit www.harvardindependent.com

FORUM34

ARTS567

SPORTS8

NEWS9

SPECIAL10-11

EdUCATINg PUbLIC OFFICIALS

dOMESTICATINg ThE MUSk Ox

The LasT song

EvOLUTIONARy PERSPECTIvES

Leah

ThE CASE FOR LA

Ivy NEWS

FROM ThE ARChIvES

[email protected] 3The Harvard Independent • 04.08.10

indyForum

One of the draws of a republican democracy like ours is the principle of equality. It may

not be fully realized, but still, pretty much every citizen would at least say that it’s one of our core values. Equality makes it possible, in principle, for the poor, for members of the minority, and even for the crazies to be represented and to run for office, no matter their education level, income level, or height-above-sea level. But let’s pretend for a moment that I’m dictator of the world, and that I can make a list of prerequisites that need to be fulfilled in order for someone to hold elected office. In particular, I want every candidate who takes office to be reasonably knowledgeable.

I would require them to take classes that are important for a country’s leaders to know and understand. I realize that each elected official has aides and unpaid summer interns (pick me!) to do research for them on every topic, thereby eliminating the necessity of knowing everything. I still think, however, there is much to be gained in having general knowledge, even in certain fields that may not necessarily be related to the substance of policy.

I recognize that this idea is not feasible in the least. Would taking these classes have any effect on how much they listen to lobbyists? Would they all become elitist snobs? When would they even have time to take these classes, given that when officials aren’t busy debating each other and running the country, they’re busy campaigning for the opportunity to debate each other and run the country? So here is my admittedly unrealistic dream list of classes I think every elected official should take. Let’s begin with one I think few would argue is unimportant for an elected official to know: economics.

EconomicsPeople vote with their wallets, so

shouldn’t politicians know how the economy works? While setting interest rates is the Fed’s job, it wouldn’t hurt for politicians to understand what exactly they’re voting for when they vote for stimulus packages, economic sanctions, or proposals to bully China about its currency. Almost every piece of legislation will affect the economy

in some way, shape, or form, since almost every proposal requires doing something with money. I’d rather politicians have a general idea of economics on their own, rather than relying on information from a specific party or lobby group.

PsychologyI don’t mean for politicians to take

psychology so that they can read the opposition’s mind and figure out how to get swing votes, but rather so that they can craft better policies. Sometimes, it’s all about how you frame a proposal. For instance, in social psychology, we learn about how countries with an opt-in organ donation program have donation rates that hover around 20 percent, while countries with an opt-out organ donation program have donation rates in the 90 percent range. Neither mandates that you donate, but the rates are dramatically different due to the way the policy is presented. Similar results have been found with opt-in and opt-out social security/retirement plans in the US.

Psychology can help politicians even outside of domestic policy, in areas like conflict resolution with countries whose cultures are different from ours. Using another example from social psychology, the 2001 incident where an American surveillance plane collided with a Chinese fighter jet resulted in a long, drawn-out, heated conflict between the two countries (though thankfully one in which neither nation resorted to force). The Americans saw fault with the individual Chinese pilot, but the Chinese saw fault with the situation of Americans spying on China — western countries are more likely to focus on individuals, and non-western countries are more likely to focus on the context. Neither side wanted to apologize because they didn’t think they were in the wrong, but the tension and ensuing foreign policy awkwardness could easily have been avoided.

United States HistoryWhen I say United States history, I

don’t mean the middle school version where students learn to admire the “good” presidents, ignore the bad ones, and essentially come out of class with the idea that the US has

always been on a trajectory of “doing the right thing” and that even when the US was kind of mean to some sectors of the population or to other countries, we eventually righted ourselves because we’re all so moral and nice all the time.

Let’s be clear. We’ve been assholes. Every country has these moments, and while it’s nothing to be proud of, it is something to learn from. The fact that we eventually realized that we were being terrible people in some aspects doesn’t mean that our past behavior has been without consequence. An apology like, “hey, sorry about that whole slavery thing” doesn’t change the fact that there is a black/white test gap, or that employers are less likely to hire an African American when there are white employee alternatives. American history is not a series of separate big events, but a chain of cause and effect in which every event, intentionally or not, has affected the current state of our nation. The more our politicians can recognize that, the more fair our legislation will be. And hopefully, we can learn from past experiences.

World HistoryI wonder how many politicians know

history outside the scope of American and European involvement. For the same reasons that American history is important, so is world history: it helps us understand why the world is in its current state, and helps us avoid making the same mistakes. People are alarmed by communist and socialist countries, but there are reasons why they became that way. Maybe if we understood why, we wouldn’t be so terrified. Obviously, world history is extremely broad, so perhaps as an independent study, each politician could concentrate on the modern history of one country.

World Cultures and ReligionOutside of western cultures and

Judeo-Christian religions, Americans don’t seem to really understand other cultures or religions. In speaking about India and the Ganges River, Glenn Beck said that “Ganges” sounded like a venereal disease — never mind that it’s considered sacred to Hindus and that the name didn’t originate in English. I hope our politicians can show more respect

and understanding than that; it could be key in how the US interacts with other countries. With the rapid speed of globalization, America needs friends and allies, whether it’s to support our troops or to make environmental and economic pacts. Respect for others could only help.

Foreign language (at least one, to be chosen by the official — should be a language still used in communication today)

Languages help us understand cultures, and it could only be beneficial for politicians when they go overseas, again because it could be seen as a sign of respect. I’ve always found it a bit pathetic that Americans only know one language and expect people to use English not only in America, but wherever American tourists go. Perhaps the difficulty of learning a second language could help show politicians why immigrants still struggle despite all their hard work.

Computer literacyWhy? Because everyone should

know how to “do a google.” Knowledge of the internet can be extremely important in reaching out to the public, in understanding new internet privacy concerns, and in accessing and providing information. If politicians are serious about transparency, they better learn how to get more transparent in ways that matter.

Basic sciencesWhen it comes to science, I just

want politicians to understand some of the basic aspects of ecology and energy usage. Energy usage could be a lot more efficient, but we’re not investing in new technologies the way other countries like Germany or China are. Adding a bit of agricultural science and medical advancement couldn’t hurt. America is still big on agriculture — it would prove useful to learn about such an economically important topic. Politicians could also see how helpful medical research is, understand the price tag that comes with the research, and try to find ways of reducing costs to both researchers and patients.

Susan Zhu ’11 (szhu@fas) would also demand that politicians compete for merit pay.

Class is Now in Session By SUSAN ZHU

What our politicians should know.


Forum

In the shadows of alaska’s great mountains lies a not-for-profit farm on which lives a creature that I didn’t know could be domesticated: the

belligerent-looking, wooly musk ox, which sports a pair of curved, pointed horns. This creature resembles a buffalo and is surprisingly petite, standing about four feet at the shoulder, and used to be commonly hunted for its meat and valuable wool. Although it is by no means a new addition to the fashion lives and culinary delights of the northern human populations, the musk ox is still news to people because of its very recent domestication—the first domestication occurred this century, as late as the 1950s.

The reasons for this domestication were very simple, namely that continued hunting of the shaggy mammal would have depleted populations and ultimately caused the species to disappear. Farming the musk ox allows its meat and wool, called qiviut, to be used sustainably, and The Musk Ox Farm in Palmer, Alaska has dedicated itself to raising, caring for, and using the musk ox to help support native populations of Eskimos whose ways of life have been interrupted or even made impossible by the encroachment of western civilization. Near the beginning of the project in 1954, Eskimo women were taught how to knit the qivuit into unique lacy-patterned garments, which are luxuriously soft and for sale online. In the time since the project’s inception, the patterns of the different qiviut garments have evolved based on each village’s traditions, and now the patterns are unique documentations of the culture and history of the population that produced them.

This venture and the successful domestication of musk oxen (which are neither musky-smelling nor true oxen) have proven successful methods of helping the native peoples of Alaska maintain their roots and continue the tradition of living in symbiosis with the musk oxen. Of course, as with many non-profits, The Musk Ox Farm is always in need of donations, and you can support this project either by purchasing qiviut goods or by donating at muskoxfarm.org and officially become a Friend of the Musk Ox, which is truly a respectable title. Aside from putting in a plug for the The Musk Ox Farm (with which I am actually not affiliated), and noting the farm’s unique approach to helping stabilize a species while helping native peoples, I think it’s important to discuss The Musk Ox Farm visitor experience. This way, if you’re ever in Alaska, you will be sure to visit.

Yes, The Musk Ox Farm is open to visitors, and it is now at the top of my list of places to visit in Alaska. During the summer months, tours are held throughout the day, and for a small fee you can enter the farm and see the miniature bison-like musk oxen in person. Visitors can actually interact with the non-smelly, really quite adorable animals. As the website notes, these animals are ancient in origin, having colonized the Americas during the same period as the ground sloth, among other fascinating creatures. Visiting the Musk Ox Farm would be like entering the movie Ice Age, but in miniature! Or at least, I imagine it would. I’ve never spent any extensive amount of time with a musk ox, but if I could, I definitely would—I’m quite confident

that it would be a memorable experience. In any event, it would be an opportunity to inspect one of the most recent domestications, a phenomenon to which humankind owes its quality of life, and it would furnish a story for any audience. “Hey, did

you hear about those musk oxen?” you could say. Catchy, isn’t it?

Riva Riley ‘12 (rjriley@fas) has faith in musk oxen.

For the Love of a Musk OxThe many uses of a newly domesticated animal.

By RIVA RILEY

SONIA COMAN/Independent


indyArts

Mi l e y C y r u s i s a u n i q u e phenomenon. Non-fans can pick at her public image —

tsk-tsking at her uncharacteristically un-Disneyesque Vanity Fair photo shoot and her tendency to get photographed in ripped short-shorts making out with her much older boyfriends — but they cannot accuse her of lacking originality. From her recognizable scratchy-raspy voice to her boisterous personality, Cyrus has built her fortune and her empire by “just being Miley.”

As I prepared to watch her newest movie, the drama and family film The Last Song, I was admittedly quite excited to see her debut in a different role. A few weeks ago, after watching her personally mentor the top eleven contestants on American Idol and emphasize the importance of stage presence and confidence, I wondered if her savvy with live performances would translate to the silver screen.

Unfortunately, her role as a rebellious teenager did not come across in nearly as original a way, lacking genuine dimension and believability. Nevertheless, despite her questionable acting as the lead in the movie, The Last Song still stands as a poignant and enjoyable film experience on the strength of the storyline and the heartfelt portrayal of the other characters.

Written specifically for Cyrus by bestselling author Nicholas Sparks, The Last Song follows two siblings who spend one summer with their father in his quiet Southern home. Since their parents divorced and their father left the family, the older sister, Ronnie (Cyrus) has acted out. Although she showed early promise as a pianist, she has refused to play since her father’s departure and has instead opted to shoplift, consistently talk back to her mom, bribe her little brother to keep her secrets, and generally keep a distance from other people.

As audiences catch their first glimpse of Ronnie, though, she looks merely sulky, wearing an expression that is half-pout, half-squint and that continually reappears through the whole first quarter of the movie. Cyrus confuses the viewer. Accustomed to playing the bubbly Hannah Montana on her Disney Channel TV show, she does not quite seem convincing

as an average angry and angst-ridden teen. Brushing off her father’s initial attempts to welcome her, she comes across as just extremely cranky. However, Ronnie’s attitude immediately changes — taking a complete 180-degree turn — once she meets the town hunk — the grinning beach volleyball player/car maintenance worker/local aquarium volunteer Will, who takes an interest in her snappy attitude. Different from the other girls who throw themselves at his feet, Ronnie seems to challenge Will. Played by Liam Hemsworth — Cyrus’s current boyfriend — Will’s character is consistently honest and

likeable. The quick changes that he brings forth in Ronnie, though, seem rather rushed and random. We wonder how the presence of a guy can have an impact so significant as to move her from moodiness to exuberance.

The plot, on the surface, sounds cliché: coming-of-age story about a teenager who rediscovers herself as she grows closer to her estranged father while simultaneously finding love. However, Sparks, known for including sentimental twists in his stories, gives substance to the movie with his surprises and touching smaller details. He offers viewers a closer insight into the emotional

depth of Ronnie’s character with her lifestyle choices. She wants to reform after one shoplifting incident, she does not drink (unlike the common crowd with whom she affiliates), she is a steadfast self-proclaimed vegetarian, she tries to be a comforting older sister, and she willingly takes on the role of primary protector for a group of abandoned turtle eggs that she finds at the beach. Despite her seemingly tough exterior, she wants to take care of the things and people in her life. The turtle eggs provide us with an analogy for Ronnie’s own world. Dedicating herself to watching over the eggs day and night and risking face-offs with ferocious egg-eating raccoons, she shows that she is capable of having patience and harboring a fierce yet loving devotion. The care that she doles out to the eggs pays off, and she learns about sustaining the fragile things in life.

Teaching her another lesson about the fragility of life in true Sparksian fashion, her father reveals that he is entangled in a bitter battle with cancer. Her consequent struggle to accept the brief time her father has left with her and her brother offers the most poignant moment of the movie. Realizing that she has wasted the majority of her summer in picking pointless arguments with her father, Ronnie reaches a pivotal point in growing up. This is when we realize that the story is not about Ronnie’s summer romance, but primarily focused on the relationship between her and her father. And this is where Sparkss talent for pulling at the heartstrings of his audience shines through.

As the title of the movie begins to make more sense, Sparks’s story treats the audience to an emotional journey filled with tears, laughter, and a deeper look into human connections. He wants us to think about the different definitions for the concepts of forgiveness and trust — and the way in which both suffuse our lives. He pushes us to think twice before we push others away out of fear or anger. Most of all, he inspires us with Ronnie’s own change of heart. In this regard, The Last Song is, like its main actress, very unique.

Sanyee Yuan ’12 (syuan@fas) is not one of those non-fans.

Pitch Perfect

By SANYEE YUAN

The Last Song hits all the right notes.


Arts

WarninG: T h i s a r T i C l e may be disturbing to those who are unfamiliar with

evolutionary psychology. In some respect, viewing our bodies as vehicles for gene survival paints a rather bleak picture of human existence. However, one should bear in mind that evolution only gives a powerful explanation for how our bodies and minds came to be the way they are; it does not provide any sort of fixed guidance as to how you should live your life (e.g. if you should marry, have children, help the homeless). Remember, whether you think life has meaning or not is determined by you, not science, nature, religion, your family, or any other external agent. Personally, I don’t think that I am just a “walking ball of sperm.” Evolution has given us the ability to appreciate friendship, love, and beauty in our lives. Our brief stay on Earth is the only life of which we are certain. Enjoy the experience while it lasts.

That said, from the Darwinian perspective, sexual intercourse serves only one fundamental purpose: reproduction. Despite this simple purpose, the life experiences that lead to fulfilling this purpose are quite complicated. In this article, we will analyze human attraction through the eyes of an evolutionary psychologist and later apply our results to improve our mating strategies.

THEORYIn most sexualized species ,

females are pickier than males. For females, engaging in sex is a much larger investment, since they usually carry the developing offspring. Males can leave as soon as the eggs are fertilized. As a result of this differentiation, females look for males with good survival traits. Qualified males are the ones who are able to win the fights against competing males. Males are picky to the extent that they fight for the females who have high reproductive value. If a female has low reproductive value, males would avoid and not fight over her. She would have no males to choose from.

In human societies, men are often just as choosy as women are. The reason for this also has to do with investment. For humans, it is not enough to merely reproduce; we have to look after our children until they are old enough to survive on their own. For most of our ancestors, this usually required a minimum of ten years, a significant portion of an individual’s life at a time when life expectancy was low. In order to maximize the number of copies of the parents’ genes, it is in the parents’ interests to split the burden of raising their children; this would explain why marriage exists in virtually every society. Both the quantity and the quality of offspring matter.

The most important factor in what men find attractive is physical appearance. Youth is by far one of the most attractive physical traits. Younger women are usually fitter than older women are to bear children and have more time to give birth to as many descendants as possible. A low waist-to-hip ratio is also an indicator of a woman’s ability to bear children. Both of these factors indicate the importance of a woman’s reproductive value to a man, but he is also concerned about her ability to mother. Although DD-cup breasts are not necessary, they should be large enough to adequately nurse the infants; this would explain men’s common preference for nicely sized and shaped breasts. One should also note that traits such as patience and compassion are also highly appealing since they are necessary for raising healthy kids.

The distinctive qualities in men that women find attractive can be summarized into two categories: security and resourcefulness. A universal physical trait women find attractive in men is height. Tallness indicates strength and overall healthiness. A strong, healthy man can protect his family by fighting off attackers. They are also more likely to be the leaders of groups and therefore better able to protect and provide for their families. Wealth and high social status are also very attractive since they indicate a man’s ability to provide

security and resources for the family. Being well-groomed and having expensive possessions signal to women a man’s ability to provide. It is interesting to note that a man’s physical appearance is far less important than a woman’s and that a woman puts a stronger emphasis on her potential mate’s personality since that is a more important factor in making sure her children are provided for.

Obviously, there are overlaps between what members of both sexes find attractive. Physical symmetry is appealing because it indicates health, both a survival and a reproductive value. Kindness and generosity are also important because we are social creatures and such qualities are beneficial to surviving in a community . Confidence is also attractive because it signals good mental health and personal strength, both survival traits.

Fidelity is of absolute importance to both parties, but for slightly different reasons. A husband tries to gather enough resources to provide for his progeny; an unfaithful wife can cuckold him, which provides no benefit to his genes. A wife does her best to make sure that her children get the resources they need from her spouse; an unfaithful husband can allocate these resources to other women. Thus, women generally find emotional infidelity more repulsive than sexual infidelity, whereas the opposite is true for men.

T h e r e i s n o d e n y i n g t h e attractiveness of intelligence (for both sexes), but it is unclear what its role is from an evolutionary p e r s p e c t i v e . M o s t p e o p l e ’ s immediate guess would be that intelligence is a powerful survival trait. It allows us to make items and create strategies that enable us to survive in a wide variety of different environments and situations. A less obvious proposal would be that intelligence is actually a potent reproductive trait. We often compete with members of our own sex to attract members of the opposite sex. Intelligent people are better able to come up with clever tactics to defeat other competitors and seduce their targets.

APPLICATIONSo how does this theory work in

practice? For women, increasing their chances of attracting men is mostly based on improving their physical appearance. Elaborating upon this point can become quite offensive to women (not the intention of the author), even though the methods would naturally follow from applications of the theory. Also, males would probably not be very interested in this issue and more interested in the next paragraph, so I will skip this topic.

For males, there are many factors aside from enhancing physical appearance that can improve their chances of attracting desirable females. Men of high status are very attractive so it would be beneficial to display personalities that convey alpha male status: dominance, confidence, emotional and social intelligence, leadership ability, and humor. Behaviors that display high status behavior include: ability to connect with people, having many friends and acquaintances, being well-groomed, and the ability to make people laugh and be playful.

An interesting note is that men often come to a general consensus on whether a woman is highly attractive or not, but women do not. At a party, if a highly attractive female is present, pretty much every male will agree that she is attractive. However, if a highly attractive male is present, he would be lucky to get half of the females to think that he is attractive. What constitutes as attractive for males appears to have more universality than that for females. Not every woman is attracted to the adventurous jock or the charismatic rock star.

Upon careful analysis of the ritual of human attraction, we see that the source of our attractions stem from the Darwinian principle “Survival of the Fittest,” where “fittest” refers to those who are the best able to survive and reproduce. For a much more thorough explanation of what we covered, I would recommend you read The Evolution of Desire by David Buss.

Lester Kim ’11 (lkim@fas) will now attempt to put these principles into practice.

The Sexual EvolutionA biological perspective on romance, desire, and reproduction.

By LESTER KIM


indyArts

From Sonia Coman's LEAH


SportS

Kobe on the bulls? Carmelo as a Knick? “The Flash” in a Nets uniform? Joe Johnson blasting

off with the Rockets? Paul Pierce livin’ like a King in Sacramento? Carlos Boozer playing for Minnesota (total karma for being a douche the last time he was a free agent)? Amare Stoudemire feeling the Heat in Miami instead of in Phoenix? Each scenario and many others could happen this upcoming summer during the eagerly anticipated NBA free-agent bonanza. There is one deal, though, which more than any other needs to happen: Lebron James to the Los Angeles Clippers.

For all you NBA drive-by fans, this summer is one of the most anticipated free-agent signing periods in the history of the league. Every star mentioned above, along with several other valuable players, are up for grabs for a few lucky teams. The New York Knicks in particular have been tirelessly preparing for this summer by trading players and future draft picks every which way in order to shed their salary cap. By taking these steps over the course of two seasons, they have transitioned from a losing team with the highest payroll in the league to a losing team with only $18.6 million committed next year. Such activity has given the Knicks and other salary-shedding teams a chance to offer a big contract to a marquee star and develop a new roster around him. For all of these teams, the desperation for cap space has come with a price. You know, like winning games.

In fact, the teams with the least salary committed for next year (Knicks: $18.6m, Nets: $26.6m, Heat: $30.7m, Bulls: $31.9m, Clippers: $33.5m, Kings: $33.9m, and the T-Wolves: $35.2m) have a combined record of 176-342 (.34), with only the Heat having a winning record. With at least a few free agent stars staying put on their current teams,

a few teams will get very lucky this summer, while the others will miss the boat and overpay for mediocre players or washed up superstars — Allen Iverson should expect a call from Minnesota this summer — in order to at least sell tickets next season. This unfortunate luck will doom some of these teams to another couple of years in NBA limbo (potential 8 th seed in the playoffs but never a contender) if not outright NBA hell (when the fans want to cast their team into a stadium of fire and brimstone for eternity — like they do in Jersey). This summer can either reverse these teams’ fortunes or can damn them to years more of unfulfilled hopes. Imagine Obama’s first year over and over and over again.

Where all these stars end up and which teams make the right strategic moves will make for wonderful theatre, with Lebron James as the biggest star and the prize to be won (and women say men aren’t nearly as objectified. I just called Lebron James a “prize to be won,” and it wasn’t even sexual…). As the central protagonist in this sensationalized free-agent summer bonanza, Lebron James is the archetypal ambitious young man who wants to see the world but always feels drawn back to his small hometown — think George Bailey from It’s a Wonderful Life. The teams luring him into their clutches for the next five years of an easy $100 million contract are the antagonists tempting him with big money, loose women (the question is whether LA or NYC dominates this category...the former have fake tans but the latter have fake body parts), and a large media market. All of these teams and Lebron’s agent are hoping his greed will overpower his desire for an NBA championship but I, humbly, will serve the role as savior within this exciting tale by saving Lebron from his lust for temporary worldly

pleasures. Remember, Lebron, championships are forever, and sex definitely isn’t (scientists, get to work on fixing that), which is why you should go to the Clippers. Seriously, hear me out. Out of all the teams (minus the Heat, since Wade will probably leave), there are only two with a solid enough supporting cast to be a potential contender with you, Lebron: the Bulls and the Clippers.

The Bulls have Derrick Rose developing nicely, with Joakim Noah, Luol Deng, and Kirt Heinrich offering a solid supporting cast. The team, however, is still relatively young and their experience level is low. Furthermore, to channel George Bailey, the Bulls are in the same division as the Cavs, and you would be forced to confront your home town team four times a year in a Bulls jersey. Think about your friends and fans in Cleveland and the agony you would put them through by leaving a half-decent but experienced team for another half-decent but inexperienced team a few hundred miles away (349 miles, to be exact). Come on, man, think about the bad karma; I can almost guarantee the Basketball Gods (Hoopiter, Stars, Shooto, and Dunktune) would curse you forever. Also, you would always be in the shadow of Michael Jordan because he defines the Chicago franchise; you wouldn’t be able to leave your mark, even in the 3rd largest media market in the country.

That leaves us with the Los Angeles Clippers. Let’s start with the roster. The Clippers have an experienced point guard with great passing abilities in Baron Davis, a 7-foot all-star center Chris Kaman, and a star in the making in Blake Griffin. This supporting cast easily rivals that of the Bulls and can easily be a contender if they sign you and a shooting guard who wants to play. Lebron, Baron Davis,

Blake Griffin, and Chris Kaman as a nucleus: don’t tell me that doesn’t sound appealing.

Now think about the benefits of being in Los Angeles. The place is so basketball-crazy that it doesn’t even need a pro football team and easily maintains two NBA teams that play in the same arena. Fans, check. You are in the second largest media market in the country and one of the largest in the world. Exposure, check. You get to take on Kobe Bryant, the current NBA alpha dog (sorry man, he has four championships and you don’t), in his home town while he is on the decline and you are on the rise. What better way to prove your dominance than by going head to head with Kobe in his home town. Dynasty, check.

Los Angeles has all the benefits of New York, except that the Clippers have a better surrounding cast. The reason the Knicks have so much money left on their salary cap next year is because they only have four — yes, only four — players returning next year: Danilo Gallinari, Toney Douglas, and injured veterans Eddy Curry and Wilson Chandler (who?). Some argue that by going to the Knicks you could remake the franchise and be the man who saved the Knicks, but remember that you’ve done that already! What were the Cleveland Cavaliers before you came along? You need to be somewhere where you can gain exposure and win a championship. One without the other doesn’t mean much. Championship potential, check. The Los Angeles Clippers o f fer a greater championship potential while giving you worldwide exposure, the ability to become the alpha dog of the league, and the face of basketball. Legendary icon, check.

Alex Thompson ’11 (athompson@fas) objectifies men, especially those whom he finds LeBron-y.

By ALEX THOMPSON

A Match Made in HeavenLebron and LA are nothing less than soulmates.


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Ivy News RoundupCompiled by FAITH ZHANG

The DartmouthAdmissions rate hits record lowBy Bridgette Taylor(April 2, 2010)

The College has admitted 11.5 percent of applicants to the Class of 2014, the lowest acceptance rate in College history. The Admissions Office accepted 2,165 of a record 18,778-person applicant pool, according to Dean of Admissions and Financial Aid Maria Laskaris.

College administrators are considering increasing the size of the Class of 2014 as a way to generate additional revenue for the College in the budget planning process, but they have not yet made a decision on the issue, Laskaris said.

“Certainly additional students will bring additional revenue,” Laskaris said. “But with the need-blind financial aid process we also don’t know the amount of aid needed for students.”

Conversations concerning class sizes will continue throughout the Spring term, Laskaris said, adding that the class size is projected to be between 1,100 and 1,140 students, while previous class sizes have ranged between 1,090 to 1,135 students.

The College accepted 461 students in December through the early decision program, compared to 401 accepted early decision for the Class of 2013, The Dartmouth previously reported.

The 18,778 applicants this year constitute a 3.5 percent increase from the 18,130 applications submitted last year, making it the largest applicant pool in Dartmouth history, Laskaris said. The 11.5 percent selection rate marks a decline from 12.5 percent for the Class of 2013, she said.

Several of the College’s peer institutions also saw a decrease in their admissions rates this year. Harvard University accepted 6.9 percent of its applicants for the Class of 2014, down from its 7 percent acceptance rate last year, The Harvard Crimson reported.

Columbia University admitted 9 percent of applicants, down from 10 percent last year, while Brown University had a 9 percent acceptance rate this year, compared to 11 percent for 2009, according to BusinessWeek.

The University of Pennsylvania accepted 14 percent of applicants for the Class of 2014, down from 17 percent for the year before. Cornell University’s acceptance rate dropped from 19 percent to 18 percent this year, according to BusinessWeek. Stanford University accepted the smallest percentage of students in its history, 7.2 percent. Yale University has not yet released its admission rate, but it was the only Ivy League school to experience a decrease in application numbers, receiving 134 fewer applications this year, BusinessWeek reported.

Over the past decade, the number of applicants to Dartmouth has grown by 80 percent, according to Laskaris.

“When the Class of 2010 applied, the applicant pool was just under 14,000 applicants — this year it was almost 19,000 applicants,” she said. “Our selectivity has gone from about 15.5 percent to about 11.5 percent. It’s more difficult now to be admitted.”

About 50 percent of admitted Dartmouth students will receive need-based financial aid from the College, according to a College press release issued Tuesday. Dartmouth’s 2010 fiscal year budget includes $78 million earmarked

for financial aid, which represents a 10 percent increase over the amount given in fiscal year 2009. College admissions are need-blind, promising to meet 100 percent of a student’s financial need.

The College accepted 1,083 men and 1,082 women. Fourteen percent of students admitted are from the New England area, 27 percent are from the Mid-Atlantic, 11 percent are from the Midwest, 17 percent are from the South, 22 percent are from the West and 7 percent are international students, according to the release.

The growing number of applications is due to outreach and recruitment efforts by the admissions staff, tour guides, student bloggers and alumni volunteers representing Dartmouth in college fairs around the country, Laskaris said. Dartmouth has also increased its involvement in social media outlets, such as Facebook and video chat web sites, according to Laskaris.

The average SAT scores for the admitted students were 733 for the critical reasoning section, 741 for mathematics and 740 for the writing section, while 39.9 percent of applicants ranked by their secondary schools were first in their class, according to the press release.

For the past two years, the Admissions Office has hired additional application readers and reviewers to assist in the admission process. Four out-of-state former Dartmouth admissions staff members from Alaska, North Carolina, New York City and Boston evaluated applications this year, according to Laskaris.

“The pool of applicants has grown, but no one has given us more time [to review the applications],” she said. “Having experienced readers to jump in has been very helpful.”


Special

1980The MBTA starts five years' worth of construction to extend the Red Line to Harvard, Porter Square, and Alewife.

1978The tradition of primal scream gets its start in the Quad, as 'The Howl'.

1985The Kong has been serving up Scorpion Bowls apparently since at least 1985. What happened to the 69 beer club?


indySpecial

1977In the aftermath of Roe v. Wade, ads appear offering counseling for girls going through the abortion process.

1993The Fly votes to allow women to be 'punched' for admittance into the club.

By KAYLA ESCOBEDO

drawn & quartered

Castles in the Air

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Transcript of Castles in the Air