Caper Times (2013-01)

www.capermedia.ca ISSN 1929-1140 the voice of the students at CBUVOL. XL, ISS. 8 • 07 Jan. 2013

CAPER TIMES

Welcome to 2013!

THE SEX DRIVE SAVING*, NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONHELPING, ECO-FRIENDLY,MINI-ISSUE. *Results may vary. Contact your doctor.

2 NEWSAbout Us

Mitch MäderEditor-in-Chief & Chair of the Editorial Board

Andrew SkinnerCreative Director

Holly KennedyBusiness Director

Allison RedmondSenior Correspondent

Frederick BoutilierSenior Correspondent

Justine WilliamsonIntern

The Caper Times is a division of Caper Media and is printed on a fortnightly basis with distribution points across Sydney Metro and Cape Breton County. Caper Media is the autono-mous news agency of the Cape Breton University Students’ Union. The Times is proudly printed in the unionised print shop of the Cape Breton Post in Sydney, Nova Scotia. We welcome your questions, comments, enquiries, or submissi-ons from students or members of the greater Cape Breton community via our email: [email protected]

Our offices are located in the Students’ Union Building at Cape Breton University.

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M.G. Mäder, UEEditor-in-Chief

ll(Gabarus, NS) The groyne, commonly referred to as seawall, at Gabarus, Cape Breton County remains in disrepair despite the enormous threat which the structure’s failure poses to the village. Letters to the Minister of Fisheries and Oceans, the Prime Minister, and numerous articles in vari-ous newspapers have failed to garner the atten-tion of the federal government, which claims it does not own the structure because it sits almost entirely on provincial crown land. The Friends of Gabarus society which represents the residents of Gabarus maintains, however, that the groyne is the responsibility of the federal government, citing numerous reports, plans, and documents which show the federal government’s involvement with the groyne’s

construction and repair in the past. The groyne, the group claims, “provides primary protection for our historic, productive harbour and a significant portion of our village.” Cape Breton-Canso MP Rodger Cuzner also forwarded several letters in relation to the issue, to no avail as of late. Municipal and pro-vincial governments have noted that they will not provide all the funds needed for the repair or replacement, but would be open to working with the federal government of the project. The federal government, for now, claims it is not responsible for the project and therefore is not interested in the partnership, leaving the residents of Gabarus wondering about the future of their coastal vil-lage.


llAre you a person who loves to write just for the sake of writing? Do you write stories that fleet on the edge of imagination? Then Third Person Press may be the place for you!Third Person Press is an independent publishing venture that is based here in Cape Breton. It pub-lishes speculative fiction from Cape Breton writers (or those who have a connection with the island) and is constantly searching for new gems that will connect people with wonderful stories that enter-tain the mind. They are a relatively small group who build a connection with the local community to give opportunities to new and established writ-ers and compile works that are distributed for the pleasure of readers everywhere.At the moment, Third Person Press are calling for submissions for their fourth volume in their Spec-ulative Elements series: the Flashpoint Anthology.

They are searching for Cape Breton writers who are interested in submitting short stories up to 10000 words, or poetry up to 100 lines which are of the speculative fiction genre (which includes science fiction, fantasy, horror, magic realism, and paranormal).The payment for accepted, published work is $100 CDN for short stories and $30 CDN for poetry and a copy of the anthology. If you believe you are interested in submitting your work or are inter-ested in learning more about their requirements, please visit http://www.thirdpersonpress.com/submissions.html for more details. They are look-ing forward to hearing from you and reading the interesting ideas that you may have to offer!

OPEN FOR SUBMISSION: THIRD PERSON PRESS

GABARUS GROYNE STILL IN DISREPAIR

3NEWS

M.G. Mäder, UEEditor-in-Chief

ll(Blanc-Sablon, QC)—Québec’s Lower North Shore, or Basse Cote Nord, encompasses a ter-ritory some 600 km long, running from Sept Isle in the south to Blanc-Sablon in the north at the Labrador boundary. This rug-ged coast is dotted with a mere 15 communities, a total of only 5,748 people combined. Nearly all of Caucasian decent, these people, who call themselves “Coasters” are descended from the original French and British settlers who came di-rectly or via Newfoundland in the ninetieth century. They speak a vari-ant of Newfoundland English, not French, and maintain a way of life which has long since passed in many other areas of Canada. However, if you were to drive through this ter-ritory (a short drive as only 4 of the communities are connected by road, an extension of the Trans-Labrador Highway which runs from the Labra-dor boundary to Old Fort Bay about 40 miles west, the rest reached via air, snowmobile, or boat) you would not know it. All signs are in French, in accordance with the Québec language laws, with the exception of one. J.J. John’s Marine Ltd. Proudly sports an English sign with the Shakespearean phrase “Ha! Ha!” written in the corner, in reference to the signs defiance of the provincial language laws. No French sign is found on the outside nor on the inside. When the owner of the Blanc-Saboln shop, John Lavallee, saw my photo-graphing of his sign he wasted no time in en-quiring if I was interested in more information. Lavallee produced a xerox of an article from the St. John’s Telegraph which ran in 1999 detailing

Lavellee’s then-new English signage, as he had taken down older French signage in 1998. When asked if he was originally from Québec, Lavalle responded “Well…I’m originally from Canada.”, in a poke at the so-called uni-fied Québécois nation that the province’s Parti Québécois so espouses. “We’re more Labrador-

ian up here” he added. Lavallee states that his ultimate objective for over 30 years now has been to have the Lower North Shore annexed to Newfoundland and Labrador because, he says, the coast is 95-99% English. He also notes that his name, Lavallee, may sound French but is actually Métis. While the sentiment that Coasters are more “Labradorian” may not hold much weight when consulting a wider variety of Coasters, the senti-ment that they are not Québécois most certain-ly does. Ronald Roberts, a resident of St. Paul’s River some 40 miles to the west of Blanc-Sablon (and also the second-last community accessible by road), responded that he is a “Quebecer”

when asked what he considers himself to be. In-deed, it would seem that many of the Coasters use this term, denoting their existence as Eng-lish-speaking residents of Quebec, frequently used by Liberal premiers. These statistics can-not be found from rummaging through data from Statistics Québec as the territory is rolled

into the constituency of Duplessis along with larger French speaking regions in the south, resulting in the Coast appearing to have voted yes to separation as well as hav-ing been represented by the Parti Québécois for nearly a generation. However, ironic as it may be, the region is one of the most patriotic towards Canada in all of Québec.Yes, the Coasters are a misunder-stood people, not Labradorian but also not Québecois; they represent a fading way of life that fewer and fewer people practice. Many com-munities on the coast also suffer from depopulation, with sev-eral towns having been “closed” (power cut off and residents given pay-outs to have them move to a

larger centre) during the last 30 years. As well, the provincial government also talks about turning the currently all English schools into French schools, essentially demanding that all children learn French (disregarding the fact that few people actually know how to speak French in the region). These factors, coupled with the near 50% unemployment rate, represent some of the threats on the ever-growing list that the region faces. Yet, the Coasters resolve to upkeep their culture means that, while their population is dropping and the number of problems they face is growing; they will stay firmly planted as long as they humanly can on the Lower North Shore.

QUÉBEC’S “COASTERS” STUCK BETWEEN THEIR HERITAGE AND THEIR ‘GOUVERNEMENT’

4 NEWS


llOn December 30th, a day be-fore we rang in the New Year the oldest living Nobel Prize Laureate died in her home in Rome at the age of 103. Born in 1909 in Turin to an Italian Jewish family, Rita Levi-Montalcini was the youngest child of an engineer and a painter, Adamo Levi and Adele Montalcini. She knew that instead of marrying, she wanted to learn medicine. She enrolled at the age of 21 to the Turin School of Medicine in a time when women’s roles were as house-wife and mother. She learned from Giuseppe Levi about the nervous system and studied the nervous systems of chicks. Unfortunately, Mussolini created the anti-Semitic legisla-tion that banned all Jewish persons from working in universities or in medicine. Levi-Montalcini had left the university before this began though, in fear that anyone should get in trouble for allowing her to continue her work. She then went into hiding with her family until af-ter the war. She continued to work in secret though for years. She set up a laboratory in her bedroom and her work during this time helped her lay some of the ground-work for her discovery of the Nerve Growth Factor. After the war ended, she went to the United States to work with Victor Hamburger for some

time, and ended up staying at the university in St. Louis for over 30 years. Here she worked with Stan-ley Cohen in the 1950s to study a protein called the Nerve Growth Factor (NGF). They found tha,t the when putting mouse tumours into chick embryos, this released a large growth of nerves. This went against popular view but she was deter-mined to prove it correct. Their work, done by hand, in unravelling the structure of the NGF took a long time to accomplish but Cohen and Levi-Montalcini proved that this was a source for NGF. The discovery of NGF earned Levi-Montalcini and Co-hen the Nobel Prize in 1986. It had taken her years to convince the world of her discovery but she did it. Rita Levi-Montalcini was a tough and determined woman. She lived though the Nazis, discovered a protein that not only won her a Nobel Prize but also has helped save many people with degenera-tive brain disorders, and lived to 103. She was a fierce, smart woman and truly inspirational to many.

RITA LEVI-MONTALCINI DEAD AT 103

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6 LIFESTYLE


llIf you are anything like me, you've enjoyed the treats of the holidays with free abandon. The festivi- ties of the holiday season tends to entertain gravies, puddings, cakes, chocolates and a plethora of other calorie filled goodies. The average person will have 2-3 dinner servings during celebratory feasts, sometimes consuming over 2500 calories in one sitting. While the numbers are overwhelming, most people don't even realize they are gorging on high-calorie foods until it's too late and their pants aren't fitting properly anymore. Anywhere from 5-15 pounds can be gained over the holidays, which can have detrimental effects on self-image leading to crash diets and intense

resolutions. If you've had hearty servings that have added to your waistline, don't fret! First things first: Don't obsess and don't starve yourself. It'll only make things much worse. Breakfast is doubly important at this time because it can keep you full until lunch time, decreasing your chances of snacking or over indulging. Cutting down on alcoholic beverages during celebra-tions and parties will go a long way as well. The sugar in many drinks is quite high and should be avoided in large amounts. Portions should be managed across many smaller meals per day to keep an even en-ergy level and to avoid mid-meal snacking. Avoid the idea that losing weight centres around the scale telling you your numbers are less. Scales aren't necessarily a true measure of the weight you are getting off. As you exercise, your body could be build-ing muscle, which can weigh more than fat and deceptively make you feel as if you aren't getting anywhere with your weight

loss. Speaking of exercise, it burns ex-cess calories. A daily 30-minute brisk walk will burn off around 1000-1120 calories per week. Combine that with other activities that could make you feel the burn and you'll certainly notice a difference in how you feel and how you fit in your clothes.

Individual Cherry Blueberry TrifleThis low fat treat allows you to savour a single serving desert without feeling guilty.

1 1/4 cup halved pitted fresh or frozen cherries1 1/4 cup fresh or frozen blueberries1 tablespoon light brown sugar16 soft texture ladyfingers1 cup nonfat Greek yogurt4 tbsp sliced almonds

Combine cherries, blueberries, and brown sugar in bowl. Layer 2 ladyfingers, 1/4 cup fruit mixture, 2 tbsps of yogurt into 4 glasses or tumblers. Repeat with a second layer of each and refrigerate for at least one hour. Top with almonds before serving.

CHRISTMAS WEIGHT ISN'T AS SCARY AS YOU THINK

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7LIFESTYLE

Show your student id and receive 2 for the price of 1 on regular priced lift tickets or rental combo’s


llA hearty welcome back from us here at the Caper Times, and we hope that your winter break was enjoyable and relaxing.

Of course, I must be the bearer of bad news, and point out that now the time is upon us to get back to our prior endeavours – and whether that’s very specific (in the sense of a second part of a 6-credit course) or more general (academic/work pursuits), we’re all gearing up again from holiday fun and get-ting accustomed to the grind again. It’s tradition for many to make New Year’s resolutions, and I feel it would be nice to outline some possible ideas and give advice for those who plan on doing such a thing.

My first piece of advice is that those con-sidering making a resolution be realistic. It’s something you hear pretty often (and even more generally with setting goals), but I find it critical to reiterate this point. You can’t set your goal to be something like “lose 200 pounds by next year” or “get 100 in every course” and seriously expect to achieve them. At the same time, your resolution shouldn’t be something so easy you don’t have to put thought into it. As a general rule for myself, I like to say that if it’s something I’d do any day of the week anyway, it’s probably a bad resolution (perhaps this is why I find most New Year’s weight loss resolutions so bizarre; losing the 5 pounds you gained over the holidays is probably going to happen anyway provided you go back to your former diet and exercise routines – doesn’t seem very

fulfilling).

A goal is ideally something you’ve been thinking of doing for a while and putting off, not a snap decision. Thoughts come and go, and you’re probably more likely to do some-thing that’s been on your mind for a while than something you thought of 20 minutes ago. I feel this is where many people go wrong. If you’ve followed the above advice, then it’s probably safe to commit to a resolution. Don’t feel bound by tradition – if you pick up this paper and decide to set a resolution right here and now, don’t worry that New Year’s is passed, and don’t feel bound to call it a resolution. Just set a goal, call it whatever you want. Also, don’t feel bound to one goal, especially if things are interrelated. If your study space at home is too messy to use for study, and you want to improve you grades, then tie them together and say you’ll tidy up and im-prove your grades – goals that feed into each other are, I find, the easiest to achieve.

For those pushing academic goals but cur-rently enrolled in easy courses/not a full course load, I would recommend using free online courses to bring up your academic average, such as those found at Coursera (www.coursera.org) or MIT OpenCourseWare. I’m doing this, and I can honestly say it’s a great way to get your study skills up to where they should be – some Coursera courses will even send you a certificate of accomplish-ment when you’ve satisfactorily completed a course.

If you’ve already set a specific goal or aren’t very goal-oriented, don’t be afraid to set a loftier goal. One of mine this year is “learn a useful skill.” I might learn Russian. I might learn to program in C++ or C#. Similarly, don’t be afraid to set goals like “get myself out there more” or even something like “be happier.” If you at least keep it in mind and try to be observant, you’re bound to find something that catches your eye and work at it (though whether that satisfies your idea of goal fulfilment is another story). One of my goals this year is to bring up my academic average, and for those of you who want some vague connection with others, let’s say ten points. Take the L’Accent pledge and bring your average up ten points if you feel up for it – that’s my pitch. Even if you don’t get the full ten, you’ve got something tangible that will certainly help you in the long run.

If there’s one thing to take away from this ar-ticle, it’s nothing really festive or New Year’s-related, but rather a desire for betterment that we should all strive for year-round that would help us all.

L'ACCENT

8 LIFESTYLE


llThe new semester begins soon and we are all telling ourselves that this year we will not pro-crastinate. That this year we will begin an assign-ment early and not have to stress about it, but then the assignment is in our hands and we say “I’ll start it tomorrow, or the next day” and before we know it, it is due tomorrow. I know I am guilty of it, I put had off writing my articles for this is-sue until after Christmas, then after cleaning up, then finishing a book. Every time I had the blank word document opened before me, soon I re-placed it with YouTube, stupid cell phone games, or a nap. I began to procrastinate by thinking about procrastinating. What does procrastinat-ing do to us?

Procrastination follows a cycle of putting the work off to another time until you reach panic and stress, then you feel like it is hopeless to even try to finish because you will never finish in time. Finally done the assignment you make promises to start earlier next time, but don’t. The stress, especially at exam time, leads to lack of sleep, not eating properly, and a feeling of mental and physical exhaustion. We as students believe that this is normal, that if we just push ourselves through that we will have plenty of

time to rest later. It may seem “normal” to us but there are some serious repercussions to the stress. While students might pull all nighters, or stay up late to finish working, this lack of sleep can harm in the end. It will dumb you down. Sleep plays an important role in how a person is able to think and learn. Lack of sleep will cause you to have difficulties concentrating and will make you less alert, problem solving will become difficult because you cannot make the connec-tions you usually are able to. There is also a con-nection between lack of sleep and weight gain. It will cause you to eat more in order to gain more energy to make it though the day, and then that coffee, energy drink, or sugary snack add up. This is not the only health concern when it comes to lack of sleep, it can lead to heart disease, high blood pressure, and affects your sex drive. Yes, the tiredness and tension that arises from too little sleep is a sure way to kill your sex drive.

Is there a way to “conquer” procrastination so that the stress and all nighters are not neces-sary? You can find hundreds of articles online about “beating”, “conquering”, and “putting off” procrastination. Will they actually work? People will procrastinate. I usually go into an assignment with a strict plan of how much I will do on it each day, and have it set up so there will be plenty of

time to do other homework. This works for the first few days but then it slowly falls apart if I am not careful. It is easy to say, “Get rid of distrac-tions” but if a writing an essay then the inter-net is still a click away. You cannot turn off the internet because you may need online journal articles. I do what all the websites say; I break the work into pieces, I set goals, I try not to think about stress, and I get rid of distractions. I still procrastinate. What kind of procrastination is there though? There is when you do absolutely nothing con-structive, when you do something somewhat important, or you do a very important project. If you can determine what kind of procrastinating you are doing, it can help. If you are putting the silly games ahead of the ten page paper you are doing the first type, the “doing nothing” procras-tinating. While “good” procrastination is putting the important goals ahead of the silly distrac-tions. If you can find a way to categorize the important things that need doing and then ask, “why aren’t I doing that?”If you cannot come up with an answer that you can fit into the “good” type of procrastinating, figure out why you are you not doing it. This can make you focus on what is important to you at that moment. At the very least, this question might guilt you into doing some work.

PROCRASTINATION PROBLEMS

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9LIFESTYLE


llWith the New Year upon us, many New Years resolutions get made with the intention of birthing a sometimes much needed change in our lives. In looking at Facebook, Twitter and other social net-working sites, it's now littered with updates and tweets with information about peoples wishes, al-terations, and resolutions. But why do we make reso-lutions in the first place? Most of us just do it without questioning why, but where did the idea originate? Time for a brief history lesson! New Year's celebrations began with Babylo-nians, who originally celebrated it in March during pre-Christian times, promising to their gods that they would pay homage and pay debts. Romans changed the date of celebration to January for those celebrating the 365-day solar calendar. The Romans also began the custom of formal resolutions, which were mostly of a moral condition like doing good to others as a promise to the pagan god Janus (in which January is named). Christianity became the official religion of the Roman Empire in the 4th century, replacing these resolutions with prayers and fast-ing, as well as moving the date of New Year's itself to December 25th (Birth of Jesus) and then March 25th (Feast of the Annunciation). Finally in 1582, Pope Gregory XIII changed the date back to January 1st. Although Christians avoided naming Janus or honouring the other god, they took the old tradition of prayer and promise to reflect on the past year and contemplate the possibilities of the year to come. This lead to the them adopting resolutions once more upon their reflections. Many cultures have traditions that they enforce on New Years Eve which continues into New Years day. For example, in Spain people bolt down a dozen grapes just before midnight. This is to symbolize their hopes for the future year. In places such as Austria, Hungary, Portugal and Cuba, pork is served as a customary dish due to pigs representing progress and prosperity for the future. In Mexico,

Greece and the Netherlands, ring shaped cakes sym-bolize the years cyclical adventure and is now ready to start again. All of these customs reflect peoples resolutions in non-verbal ways, by telling of their hopes for luck, prosperity, and success. Combine this with the act of verbalizing customary resolutions and you have all the makings of change for the bet-ter. Or do you? It's noted by Psychology Today's author Jim Taylor, PhD., that by the six month mark “fewer than half the people who make New Year's resolutions have stuck with them”. Only 39% of people who actually make a resolution achieve it. 75% of resolu-tion makers maintain it for the first week, with steady declines in those percentages as the weeks pass by. By the time January is over, only 60% of the people who made resolutions are still enforcing them. Change is difficult for everyone. Most of us look for instant gratification and are very interested in the “quick and without effort” methods that seem to be offered for everything from quitting smok-ing to diets. If we weren't interested in this method there wouldn't be a $2.5 billion dollar “self-help” industry for it. The key to New Year's resolution keeping is to keep it simple. Following one change is easier than following five of them, and you have the ability to keep your passion for that resolution longer. There will be days when you just don't have that initial in-terest. Those are the days when extra push is needed to reach your goal. Make resolutions that are real-istic and affordable, therefore it is that much easier to maintain. Keep them realistic to your schedule as well. You are familiar with the amount of time you spend at school, working, or with family and friends. Make time for your resolutions and adjust your schedule to make them fit and remember: “Punish-ment is a poor motivator” (TIME, 2010). Reward your-self for sticking to your changes and you'll be more likely to stick with it. Good luck with your future resolutions, if you have made them of course, and Happy New Year!

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TO CHANGE OR NOT TO CHANGE: A LOOK AT NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS

10 THE BACK PAGES


llWith the holidays now over, Canadians are recovering from yet another season of complete imbe-cility and debauchery. Retail stores, government offices, and pedestrians no doubt enjoyed the wonderful time of year when bar patrons spill over into their spaces (and sometimes very literally). Chad LaMarr, a clerk at a retail store in Sydney, spoke to us about the fun that is the holiday season. “I loved having to spend thirty minutes trying to coax a drunken man out of the store so he didn’t walk into the hamster dis-play,” he said. “Though I can’t wait until I can do something similar, and then forget about it the next day.” Chad then giggled at the thought of a group of hamsters running all over his body, which would most likely be quite ador-able. Many families have holiday traditions that date back years, such as watching a favourite movie together, writing letters to Santa, or having gifting competitions with neighbours – a favourite in many cul-de-sacs. Mr. LaMarr was more than willing to share his family traditions. “Usually, my family gathers for a round of Christmas carolling and then we watch a Christmas cartoon. By that point, my uncle

is already drunk, and we take a moment to laugh at him as he gets his head stuck in a lampshade, fol-lowed by hours of sober thought and crying about his rampant alco-holism,” he said, becoming visibly despondent. The quickly-forgotten esca-pades of residents all over Canada take diverse forms, even outside of traditions, such as petty vandal-ism, drunken carolling, and simply drinking eggnog and watching various seasonal TV shows. The long-time tradition of drunken hockey-watching is, unfortunately, stifled this year with the NHL situation, but reports have come out saying that “NHL ‘13” characters look quite realistic when one has imbibed a probably-dan-gerous quantity of beer – at least realistic enough for a bar fight or two to break out over whose team is superior (it’s probably the Leafs). Fortunately, Cape Breton-ers, too, have had some unique things to look forward to during the holidays, such as rampant window shopping caused by a near-con-stant state of economic struggle; stores of all stripes will no doubt look forward to the constant stream of “Wouldn’t that be nice” again next holiday season, as onlookers realize their inability to purchase the more expensive items in store displays. In other news, the area’s bars and liquor stores were able to once again reap unfathomable profits yet again this holiday sea-son.

Belinda Comeau

llLast month saw the premiere of The Company Store at the Board-more Theatre. The play tells the story of a young man, Ian, and his experiences in Reserve Mines. We watch as his family and friends deal with the tribulations that come with living in a mining town. Despite being centred purely around Cape Breton and a Cape Breton way of life the play definitely appeals to locals and outsiders alike. As someone not from Cape Breton myself I found it to be an educational experience. Not grow-ing up here, I didn't know very much about Cape Breton history in general and went into the play not even knowing what a company

store actually was. I came out with a much greater understanding and appreciation for the history if the island. The actors put a lot of heart and soul into their performance and it really shows. I laughed at their happiness and shed a tear at their sorrows. One scene even managed to make the audience gasp. You could hear the audience laughing and whispering to each other about memories that the play brought up. I forgot a couple times dur-ing the play that I was watching a performance and not real life, as hard as it is to believe. The perfor-mances really felt that genuine to me. Overall a wonderful perfor-mance that pulled at my heart-strings!

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11THE BACK PAGES


llAfter years of hard research, jour-nalists all over the country confirmed yesterday that indeed, newspapers are somehow still a thing in the infor-mation age. Despite the fact that Internet infrastructure can support the de-livery of literally hundreds of news-papers per person per day, and at a cost much less than that of newsprint, newspapers have been confirmed to still exist and even thrive in some locations. It has been noted that some newspapers have made some effort to seem as though they are part of this information revolution, by mak-ing their still-print papers available in part or in full online, often with some modern marvel attached such as commenting or being able to e-mail letters to the editor. While some might attribute this phenomenon (of the newspaper’s continued existence) to an ageing population, many young individuals have been seen with a newspaper crooked neatly in their arm, suggest-ing they are all too familiar with the amalgamation of tradition and limita-tions that is the world of newsprint. Modern conveniences, such as the ability to search article data-bases, updating content, or consis-tently-designed pages are nowhere to be found in the physical news-paper, leading some to believe that something more sinister is afoot. Alex Carr, a North Sydney resident and founder of the ANN (Anti-Newspaper Network) group, noted that the continued subsistence

of newsprint is likely due to a global conspiracy, started by world gov-ernments in an effort to deny their citizens news coverage. Carr reasons that poorly informed citizens with dated news formats are not readily able to access information at an ac-ceptable pace to get angry about any government activities that might be considered ill-natured. Others, meanwhile, point to steady ad revenues, driven by a population of business leaders who are all too willing to not take risks due to a global economic downturn and so advertise in the dinosaur that is print media. While there is a large pile of evidence suggesting that the news-paper is but an ant compared to the anteater that is the Internet, there is still other evidence suggesting that the newspaper is more akin to another, less vulnerable but also less significant animal, such as the turtle or the lowly rat. Just as the turtle is able to plod alongside the anteater despite never even dreaming of harming it, or the rat is able to spread deadly plagues throughout mankind, so is the fate of the newspaper; a lowly existence that is no more than a mere marker in society’s rear-view mirror that is history. Be it by merely dragging its lifespan out for more than is abso-lutely necessary, or by actively trying to keep the citizens of planet Earth ill-informed, it comes as no great sur-prise that the newspaper is increas-ingly being seen as a curse whose weight hangs heavy on the backs of every man, woman, and child despite the existence of something better.

NEWSPAPERS STILL A THING

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Caper Times (2013-01)

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