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Camp FreaksSammy: I can’t believe I got roped into going to this stupid camp.

I don’t even know anybody. And I have to ride on this disgusting

bus.

Priscilla: Totally dude. This is bogus. My mom totally bugged about

me hangin’ out at the pad, so like she sent me here. Can you

relate?

Sammy: What?

Priscilla: Did I stutter?

Sammy: I’m gonna sit over there.

Priscilla: That’s groovy, peace.

Sammy: Oh my gosh, that girl is such a freak.Marlina: I know.

Sammy: She reminds me of if Whoopi Goldburg threw up all over

Full House.

Marlina: You’re funny.

Sammy: Thanks, I’m Sammy.

Marlina: I’m Marlina. Nice to meet you.

Sammy: So tell me about yourself.

Marlina: Well, I like dancing, and-Sammy: What a coincidence, me too!

Marlina: Cool, but what I really love is cats.

Sammy: Cats?

Marlina: Yes, all kinds: long-haired, short-haired, Persian,

Himalayan, Persian, Tabby Cat, Siamese, Norwegian, Birman,

Bombay. I prefer Tom Cats, but kitties are kitties, right?

Sammy: Sure, but I’m more of a dog person.

Marlina:(pretending to lick her “paw” like a cat) Meow, meow. (shehisses and claws)

Sammy: Wow, OK, well I’m going to sit with Whoopi again.

Marlina: The kitties above frown upon you.

Sammy: Oh my gosh, that girl is such a freak.

Priscilla: I know. She Oogley.

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Sammy: Right, so anyways, my name’s Sammy.

Priscilla: I’m Priscilla.

Sammy: That’s an interesting name.

Priscilla: Like Elvis’ wife, but I’m not really her.(she laughs)

Sammy:(not laughing) OK, so how are you?

Priscilla: I’m pretty fly. This bus is crunk, dude. What about you?

What’s crack’a’lackin’?

Sammy: Excuse me?

Priscilla: You trippin’? I said you know, ‘sup? What’s goin’ down?

Sammy: Sorry. I’m OK, except that I’m the only sane person on

this bus. (Marlina hisses)

Priscilla: Look at that tard. I should give that geek a swirley.Sammy: She’d have to be clawed first.

Priscilla: True dat, what a wastoid.

Sammy: So what is this camp like, have you ever been before?

Priscilla: Totally, it’s righteous. Tubular. There’s this wicked

water slide and awesome pool.

Sammy: I can’t swim.

Priscilla: Oh, well then it’s pretty much the pits.

Sammy: Great, I really think that-Priscilla: Yo, dawg that’s my homie. Can you peace so I can chill

with my homie?

Sammy: I guess, but that means-

Priscilla: Rad, time for you to bounce.

Sammy:(sitting next to Marlina) Hack up any hairballs yet?

(Marlina hisses, then Sammy sighs.)

Marlina: So I heard you can’t swim.

Sammy: Yeah, that’s true.Marlina: Neither can cats, well they can, but they don’t want to.

Sammy: Good for them.

Marlina: Why don’t you like my feline friends?

Sammy: I don’t know, their attitudes I guess.

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Marlina: I think you just can’t handle the emotional and

intellectual stability cats have. You have to plead to get them to

stoop down to you. Dogs will do anything for food, because they

don’t think for themselves.

Sammy: Do you have many friends?

Marlina: Do cats count?

Sammy: No.

Marlina: Books?

Sammy: No.

Marlina: Then I guess not.

Sammy: Figures.

Marlina: (hisses) Kitties live, kitties love. (she claws)Sammy: That’s it! I can’t take this anymore! You are a freakish,

insane, cat-like maniac and you, you went out of style like 20

 years ago! Stop the bus! I’m getting off. (she exits)

Priscilla:(sitting next to Marlina) Wow.

Marlina: That girl is such a freak.

Priscilla: Word.

(blackout)

END