CHAPTER 7: IMPROVING RELATIONSHIPS

*CLIMATE AND CONFLICT

TWO WAY TO IMPROVE RELATIONSHIPS

Maintain an effective communication climate.

Express and resolve conflict in an effective manner.

COMMUNICATION CLIMATE ISTHE EMOTIONAL TONE OF A RELATIONSHIP

It measure the degree to which a person feels he/she is valued in a relationship.

It is created through: Confirming responses: Disconfirming responses: Conflict Spirals

MESSAGES HAVE TWO DIMENSIONS

Content dimension: substance of the message

Relational dimension: conveys feelings one person has towards the other

person.

GIBBS’ CATEGORIESCERTAIN MESSAGES (BEHAVIORS) ARE MORE LIKELY

TO CREATE SUPPORTIVE OR DEFENSIVE CLIMATES

DefensiveDefensive vs SupportiveSupportive

Evaluation - Description Control - Problem-oriented Strategy - Spontaneity Neutrality - Empathy Superiority - Equality Certainty - Provisionalism

RELATIONAL CONFLICT

CONFLICT

Expressed Struggle

Incompatible goals (perceived)

Scarce Resources

Interdependent Parties

Money

Other Relationships

Lifestyle Decisions

Behaviors

What is it? Major Causes of Conflict

DEALING WITH CONFLICT EFFECTIVELY

Influenced by:GenderCulturePersonalityConflict StyleConflict Resolution Method

CONFLICT AND PERSONALITY

Personality Profiles

CONFLICT: EXPRESSION AND RESOLUTION

Most people, tend to express and/or react to conflict in one of five ways.

Style may vary and be impacted by the situation, but many people tend to rely primarily on 1 or 2 styles most often.

There are four major ways to resolve conflict:Win-loseLose-loseCompromiseWin-win

NONASSERTION

Does not express feelings

Puts other person’s needs ahead of your own

Generally achieved in two ways: avoidance = I lose- you lose accommodation= I lose – you win

Is it ever the best way to handle conflict?

DIRECT AGGRESSION

Directly confronts and attacks the other person

Puts personal needs ahead of the other person

Utilizes competitive problem-solving = I win – you lose

PASSIVE AGGRESSION

Expresses hostility in a vague way

Lose-Lose: If I lose then You lose too.

Uses Crazymaking Actions

Pseudoaccomodators Guiltmakers Jokers Trivial tyrannizers Withholders

INDIRECT COMMUNICATION

Conveys information in a roundabout way

Uses a 3rd party

ASSERTION

Expresses needs, thoughts, and feelings clearly and directly

Asserts own needs without stepping on the needs of others

Part of a Win-Win resolution: I win – you win Utilized in Collaboration = problem solving

process

RESOLVING CONFLICT EFFECTIVELY Perspective

See the issue from the other’s perspective (empathy)

Keep things in perspective

Be Tolerant respect their decisions on how to live their life

Deal with your Anger calm our anger before confronting other

Talk But, remember some things are best left unsaid

Raising Problem sometimes it is important to make another

person aware of the problems they are creating

IN RESOLVING A CONFLICT REMEMBER THESE THINGS:

Consider the other person’s needs/your needs

Consider the most appropriate method of conflict resolution

Use effective communication techniques to address conflict

DESC(describe behaviors/ explain effect/ state outcome/express consequences)

If possible engage in win-win conflict resolution