by! !Jonathan!Yukich! Adapted!from“The!Legend!of!Sleepy ... ·...

WAKING SLEEPY HOLLOW by

Jonathan Yukich

Adapted from “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow” by Washington Irving

Waking Sleepy Hollow 1

CHARACTERS

PIPER KATRINA VAN TASSEL

NICOLE BROM BONES

MAYOR Z OLD LADY

OLAF REALLY OLD LADY

ICHABOD CRANE FARMER BART

PUPIL WHO CAN ADD MRS. FARMER BART

PUPIL WHO ASKS QUESTIONS MR. VAN TASSEL

PUPIL WITH GUTS MOTHER OF JOHNNY MOTHER OF EVA MOTHER OF LUKE

PARTY-‐GOER WITH PIPE PARTY-‐GOER WITH CAKE PARTY-‐GOER WITH BIG HAIR THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN

VARIOUS PUPILS, CHOIR MEMBERS, PARTY-‐GOERS AS NEEDED

CASTING NOTE

The play has 22 roles but can be performed with as few as 8 actors. Gender flexible casting is possible and encouraged. If the production chooses to perform the play with the minimal amount of actors, the following character doubling is suggested:

ACTOR #1 plays PIPER, PUPIL WHO CAN ADD, MOTHER OF JOHNNY and KATRINA VAN TASSEL ACTOR #2 plays NICOLE, PUPIL WITH GUTS, MOTHER OF LUKE, MRS. FARMER BART, PARTY-‐GOER WITH PIPE and PARTY-‐GOER WITH BIG HAIR ACTOR #3 plays MAYOR Z ACTOR #4 plays OLAF ACTOR #5 plays ICHABOD CRANE


ACTOR #6 plays PUPIL WHO ASKS QUESTIONS, MOTHER OF EVA, REALLY OLD LADY, FARMER BART and MR. VAN TASSEL ACTOR #7 plays the HEADLESS HORSEMAN and PARTY-‐GOER WITH CAKE ACTOR #8 plays BROM BONES and OLD LADY

NOTE ON SETTING

The stage should resemble an attempt to recreate the setting for Sleepy Hollow in the year 1790. Please note the word “attempt,” as its realization should be a cross between authentic reproduction and the sort of garish, hokey contrivances you find at some historical sites that are also tourist traps. It’s okay to let the artifice show. All design components can be as simple or as elaborate as the given production deems necessary.


SCENE ONE

AT RISE: (An old-‐timey banner reads “Welcome to Sleepy Hollow: Home of the Legend.” PIPER and NICOLE, dressed in costumes of late 18th century America, are both absorbed in their cell phones. Several hushed seconds go by before . . .)

PIPER

(Abruptly reacting to something on her phone.) Shut up!

NICOLE I didn’t say anything.

PIPER (Yelling at her phone.) No! No! No! NO! NO! NOOOOOO!

NICOLE Oh dear – it’s phone rage.

PIPER My life is ruined!

NICOLE Calm down.

PIPER I’m going to be sick!

NICOLE What happened?

PIPER (Showing her the phone.) This happened!

NICOLE It’s Robby. So what?

PIPER

He just posted it! Look who he’s with!


NICOLE It’s a selfie.

PIPER In the background!

NICOLE

Where?

PIPER In the background!

NICOLE Who? That girl?

PIPER Yes, that girl!

NICOLE You can barely see her. She’s like twenty yards away.

PIPER See how she’s ogling him.

NICOLE I don’t think she’s ogling him.

PIPER It’s pathetic.

NICOLE I think she’s asleep.

PIPER She’s peeking – I can tell!

NICOLE I don’t get the big deal.

PIPER The big deal, Nicole? The big deal is Robby’s in France, and I’m here! He gets to study overseas for the summer and I’m stuck playing dress up in Dullsville, USA.

NICOLE It’s not such a bad job.


PIPER It’s called Sleepy Hollow for a reason. I should be with Robby. I should be there to fend off prowlers like her!

NICOLE I really think she’s napping.

PIPER

Robby wouldn’t stray – would he? He wouldn’t – would he? No, never – would he?

NICOLE Piper, deep breaths. Whenever Robby posts a picture with another girl anywhere in the frame you freak out.

PIPER But he’s so far away.

NICOLE You have to trust him.

PIPER I do trust him – it’s barracuda Barbie I don’t trust. I mean – come on! – WHO LOOKS LIKE THAT WHEN THEY SLEEP? She’s perfectly angelic! I hope she snores, or drools – or both! Can we pretend she snores and drools?

NICOLE Put the phone away. You’re flipping out.

PIPER You’re right. I’ll forget about her. And him. And all the fun he’s having – seeing Europe, the culture, the food, the people. I’m going to forget all about that. And try to enjoy myself, working all summer as a hokey tour guide, retelling a 200 year-‐old story for googly-‐eyed tourists who have nothing better to do! (Stops, foot in mouth. Gazes out at the audience, i.e. the tourists.) Oh, hi there . . . googly-‐eyed tourists . . . (PIPER and NICOLE, sheepishly putting phones away, shift into bright-‐eyed

tour guide mode; addressing the audience)

NICOLE A hearty hello from Sleepy Hollow!

PIPER What I said there – it’s all part of the act.


NICOLE Pay no attention to her.

PIPER I didn’t mean to say that you have googly-‐eyes. You don’t, of course. At least not all of you.

NICOLE You should stop talking.

PIPER Welcome to the Sleepy Hollow tour!

NICOLE I’m sure you’re an awesome group. So, without further adieu –

PIPER (The girls begin the story-‐mode spiel.) Nestled in this tranquil valley –

NICOLE Among the high hills –

PIPER Across the brooks and streams –

NICOLE Is a land called Sleepy Hollow.

PIPER Known as the quietest place in the world.

NICOLE

Made famous by Washington Irving’s story –

PIPER The Legend of Sleepy Hollow! Note the banner.

NICOLE A story full of classic characters.

PIPER

But perhaps the most famous character of all –

NICOLE Is the town itself.


(MAYOR ZONDERKOP appears, dressed in the period, sounding a bell.

PIPER and NICOLE exit.)

MAYOR Z (To audience.) Well, what a fine sight is this! Allow me to pay you an official welcome! I’m Mayor Zonderkop, or Mayor Z for short. On behalf of the citizens of Sleepy Hollow – all three hundred of us – I’d like to say how grateful we are for your presence here. Being tucked away, we don’t get many visitors from the outside world. (OLAF rushes on.)

OLAF

Mayor Z! – am I glad to see you!

MAYOR Z Oh! It’s Olaf the Pig Farmer!

OLAF Why are you ringing your own bell?

MAYOR Z I had to let the town crier go last week. Budget cuts.

OLAF Oh. Well, I come with urgent business!

MAYOR Z Out with it.

OLAF My pig’s gotten caught in a tree.

MAYOR Z Again? You’re not a very good pig farmer, Olaf.

OLAF The pig’s a prodigious climber.

MAYOR Z

Well, if the pig can climb up the tree, let him climb down the tree.

OLAF But that would be ridiculous.


MAYOR Z Can this wait? Can’t you see I’m busy?

OLAF (Noticing the audience.) Who are these folks?

MAYOR Z Visitors! I was just acquainting them with our town!

OLAF Well, I can assist with that!

MAYOR Z You won’t mention the pig again?

OLAF Promise.

MAYOR Z (Resuming the narrative.) Most who are born here are buried here too. Few of us ever leave. And why would we? It’s beautiful here – and peaceful too.

OLAF If ever you should wish to steal away from the world and its distractions, you can do no better than this valley.

MAYOR Z Even in the year 1790, not much has changed in these parts.

OLAF We take pride in our sameness.

MAYOR Z Same vegetation, same families –

OLAF Of course, we haven’t always had a pig that could climb trees.

MAYOR Z Olaf.

OLAF My fault.


MAYOR Z We’re decent people, though strong in our beliefs.

OLAF And our superstitions.

MAYOR Z We should say, up front, that this place is under the sway of some witching power.

OLAF Letting loose all sorts of spectral happenings.

MAYOR Z Trances and visions.

OLAF Ghosts and goblins.

MAYOR Z Spirits feel at home in the bosom of our tranquil valley.

OLAF Heh heh – you said bosom.

MAYOR Z Olaf.

OLAF Sorry.

MAYOR Z Ask any man, woman or child, and they can tell you stories about these parts that will chill you to bone.

OLAF But the most dominant spirit, the worst of all, the one who still haunts this enchanted region –

MAYOR Z

Hold it there, Olaf. We wouldn’t want to frighten our guests away.

OLAF But surely they’d want hear about the Hhh –

MAYOR Z I said enough. It’s better to ease into these matters.


OLAF Whatever you say – you’re the mayor.

MAYOR Z

You know, earlier this year we had another visitor.

OLAF That’s right! We did! Poor fella.

MAYOR Z His name was Ichabod Crane.

OLAF (Re: the audience.) What’s that? You flinched as if you’d heard of him.

MAYOR Z You wouldn’t happen to know where he is, would you? Yes? No? He disappeared, you see, and no one’s been able to locate him.

OLAF It really is the queerest story.

MAYOR Z Let’s start at the beginning.

OLAF His name was Ichabod Crane.

MAYOR Z I just said that.

OLAF Right. (As they speak the following description, ICHABOD saunters onstage, stiff and haughty.)

MAYOR Z

He was tall.

OLAF But exceedingly lank.

MAYOR Z

With long arms and legs.


OLAF And feet that may have served as shovels.

(The actor playing ICHABOD should subtly react to the unflattering description, becoming gradually more irritated by its excess.)

MAYOR Z His whole frame was most loosely hung together.

OLAF His head was small.

MAYOR Z Like a pea, wouldn’t you say?

OLAF Yes, much like a pea. A pea head.

MAYOR Z With a flat top.

OLAF Huge ears.

MAYOR Z Big eyes.

OLAF And a large snipe nose.

MAYOR Z Which resembled a weather-‐cock.

ICHABOD (Unable to take it anymore.) My nose does not resemble a weather-‐cock.

OLAF That’s not your line.

ICHABOD How much do I have to listen to?

MAYOR Z It’s what the story says.


ICHABOD Your description is so unflattering.

OLAF

Well yes.

ICHABOD I’m not nearly so awkward looking.

MAYOR Z Relax. It’s fiction.

ICHABOD I like my nose.

OLAF It’s a fine nose.

ICHABOD Thank you.

MAYOR Z But Ichabod Crane is known for his long nose.

OLAF You have to let the audience imagine that you have a huge snoz.

MAYOR Z It’s called acting.

ICHABOD You’re right. Sorry. Sorry everyone. I can be overly sensitive sometimes.

OLAF (Muttering.) What a diva.

MAYOR Z May we continue with the script as written?

ICHABOD Post haste! It won’t happen again. (Proclaiming.) I am now Ichabod Crane! (The actor fully embraces the character of ICHABOD, strutting the stage,


nose up, with a hammy daintiness. And the narrative resumes . . .)

MAYOR Z To see him striding along a hill on a windy day, with his clothes fluttering about him, one might have mistaken him for some scarecrow eloped from a cornfield.

OLAF Now it should be said that Ichabod Crane wasn’t merely passing through.

MAYOR Z He had arrived in Sleepy Hollow with a purpose.

OLAF He was to be our new schoolmaster!

(Transition into the schoolhouse. A modest, upright chalkboard is brought on. A handful of students bring on their wooden classroom desks. ICHABOD is now in the middle of a lesson.)

ICHABOD

And so if Mary has three gooseberry pies, and Erik gives her three more gooseberry pies, how many gooseberry pies does Mary have?

(PUPIL WHO CAN ADD raises hand.) You there.

PUPIL WHO CAN ADD That would leave Mary with six gooseberry pies.

ICHABOD Excellently done. (Writing on board.) “Six Gooseberry Pies.” Scrumptious.

PUPIL WHO ASKS QUESTIONS Mr. Crane, sir, why do all of your lessons have to do with gooseberry pies?

ICHABOD (Relishing even the thought of one.) Because I adore gooseberry pies. So so so much.

PUPIL WHO ASKS QUESTIONS (A little weirded out.) Oh. Okay.


ICHABOD Now for today’s science lesson. Who can tell me the best ingredients for gooseberry pie? (Inadvertently, one of the pupils drops a note while passing it. ICHABOD

hears it drop. He spots it on the ground, scolds the class with his eyes. ICHABOD walks to the note, dramatically, taking his time, as the class quivers in their seats, exchanging looks of alarm. ICHABOD picks up the note. Reads. He is aghast. Collects himself. Decides to read aloud.)

ICHABOD (CONT’D)

(Reading slowly, for effect.) “It’s so big I bet he can smell tomorrow’s dinner.” (Pause.) To what is this note referring? (Silence.) Well. Which of you wrote this? Boys? Girls? (Silence.) All I want to know is its meaning, but since no one will come forward, you shall all receive a lashing.

(ICHABOD pulls out a ferule. It is foreboding.)

PUPIL WITH GUTS Mr. Crane?

ICHABOD Yes child?

PUPIL WITH GUTS May I speak honestly?

ICHABOD I wish you would.

PUPIL WITH GUTS The note is referring to your nose.

ICHABOD My nose? But why?

PUPIL WITH GUTS Because it’s gigantic.

ICHABOD Is it now? So big that –


PUPIL WITH GUTS You can smell tomorrow’s dinner. It’s hyperbole.

ICHABOD Hyperbole?

PUPIL WITH GUTS An exaggeration.

ICHABOD I know what hyperbole is! But what is the point?

PUPIL WITH GUTS Well, again, sir – that your nose is massive. So big that –

ICHABOD It can smell the future.

PUPIL WITH GUTS Something like that. (Gasps and groans from the frightened pupils.)

ICHABOD And this is humorous?

PUPIL WITH GUTS Well, when you break it apart like that, it loses some of its punch.

ICHABOD I see. You leave me no choice. For this insolent stunt, which each of you has apparently conspired to enact, you shall all receive a lashing. (Groans from the pupils.) As the golden maxim says, “Spare the rod and spoil the child.” Your parents will thank me later. Now, who’s first? (As MAYOR Z and OLAF speak, transition out of schoolhouse. Even

when not directly in the scene, ICHABOD strolls about the stage when being spoken about.)

MAYOR Z

Though not exactly adored by his students, it behooved Ichabod to keep on good terms with their parents.

OLAF

After all, this was a schoolmaster’s livelihood.


MAYOR Z He depended on these townsfolk for his food and board.

OLAF He’d make the rounds of the neighborhood –

MAYOR Z Lodging with various families a week at a time.

OLAF He was sure to travel light –

MAYOR Z All his worldly effects tied up in a cotton handkerchief.

OLAF His one constant possession was a copy of Cotton Mather’s “History of New England Witchcraft.”

MAYOR Z Which, by the way, he could recite from memory.

OLAF Being a firm and potent believer in such devilry.

MAYOR Z While coarse with his pupils, Ichabod could be gentle and ingratiating with their mothers.

OLAF Especially if they could cook. (Three MOTHERS enter with small baskets on their arms.)

MOTHER OF JOHNNY Schoolmaster! How’s my darling Johnny doing in your class?

ICHABOD Madam, the young boy is brilliantly articulate.

MOTHER OF JOHNNY Even with his chronic stutter?

ICHABOD Yes.


MOTHER OF JOHNNY And his constant lisp?

ICHABOD Even so.

MOTHER OF JOHNNY (Elated.) How splendid to hear! May I offer you a taste of my savory sweetmeats?

ICHABOD (Mouthwatering.) Madam, I’d love a taste of your sweetmeats! (Pulls a taste from her basket; ICHABOD indulges and is overwhelmed

by its deliciousness.)

MOTHER OF JOHNNY What do you say, Mr. Crane?

ICHABOD So tender! So moist! I could munch from your basket all day!

MOTHER OF JOHNNY Oh, Mr. Crane, I’m blushing!

MOTHER OF EVA Schoolmaster! How is my little Eva getting along in her studies?

ICHABOD Most remarkably. It is a privilege to be in the same room with her.

MOTHER OF EVA Even with her body odor? It’s impossible to get that girl to bathe.

ICHABOD I have noticed a rather peculiar smell emanating from Eva. All the same, she is a cherub – a bright, inquisitive, stinky cherub.

MOTHER OF EVA A cherub! She is, isn’t she! Oh, Mr. Crane, you’re too kind. Would you like a taste of my dainty slapjack?

ICHABOD I thought I smelled well-‐buttered buckwheat.


MOTHER OF EVA Fresh too!

ICHABOD Well then, I’d love a taste of your dainty slapjack! (Pulls a taste from her basket; ICHABOD indulges and is overwhelmed


MOTHER OF EVA Is it good?

ICHABOD Better buckwheat I have not smacked!

MOTHER OF EVA Oh Mr. Crane!

MOTHER OF LUKE Schoolmaster! Tell me how my precious Luke is learning!

ICHABOD The boy is a genius! The next Newton!

MOTHER OF LUKE Do you mean it?

ICHABOD Undeniably.

MOTHER OF LUKE Seems to me he just picks his nose all the time.

ICHABOD There’s more to a child than his hobbies. It takes a trained eye to see that. The boy’s a genius, I say – the next Pythagoras!

MOTHER OF LUKE Oh me!

ICHABOD The next Plato!

MOTHER OF LUKE Oh my!


ICHABOD The next Dante!

MOTHER OF LUKE Oh me! Oh my!

ICHABOD Do you have anything to eat? I can’t go on forever.

MOTHER OF LUKE Perhaps a taste of my hasty-‐pudding?

ICHABOD Madam, I’d love to taste your hasty-‐pudding. (Pulls a taste from her basket; ICHABOD indulges and is overwhelmed


MOTHER OF LUKE Do you like it?

ICHABOD Like it? Madam, your pudding is like heaven in my mouth!

MOTHER OF LUKE There’s more where that came from!

OLAF And so it was with Ichabod’s charm. It wasn’t just his good manners that allowed him to get on.

MAYOR Z He also had other vocations.

OLAF

Such as leading the neighborhood choir.

MAYOR Z Even we took part in that.

OLAF We were pretty good too.

(The CHOIR forms.)


ICHABOD And once more from the top . . . (Everyone sings, led by ICHABOD. Rather than a hymn, consider taking the liberty of having the group sing something more fun and upbeat, like a pop song from the 80s, something like “Total Eclipse

of the Heart”*** perhaps. It could be especially fun to sing this in the stiff style of a church choir.) (Song ends.)

MAYOR Z

It was in this way that Ichabod found favor with the town.

OLAF Most of us, especially the womenfolk, thought him impressive.

WOMEN OF THE CHOIR A man of great erudition.

OLAF Any observer would agree that the schoolmaster had a wonderfully easy life of it. He fit right in.

MAYOR Z After all, he was already predisposed to Sleepy Hollow’s marvelous beliefs.

OLAF Many days, after school was dismissed, you’d see him strolling about town, usually clutching his copy of Cotton Mather’s “History of New England Witchcraft.”

MAYOR Z His belief in the book only increased when he moved to this spellbound region.

OLAF No tale was too monstrous for him to accept as fact.

MAYOR Z Often he’d stretch himself out next to a little brook, and there read over old Mather’s direful tales, until night began to fall. Then, as he made his way home, every sound of nature, at that witching hour, fluttered his excited imagination. (As the sounds are spoken, we hear them and ICAHBOD reacts.) ***Licensees are solely responsible for obtaining permission to use copyrighted music.


OLAF The moan of the whip-‐poor-‐will.

MAYOR Z

The cry of the tree toad.

OLAF The hooting of the screech owl.

MAYOR Z The fireflies startled him too.

OLAF As did shrubs, and crickets, and his own footsteps.

MAYOR Z Pretty much anything that moved or made sound.

OLAF Still, Ichabod could not get enough of the macabre stories.

MAYOR Z One of his pleasures was to sit with the old wives of the town and share stories while passing long winter evenings.

OLAF

Often while roasting apples at the hearth.

(ICHABOD, OLD LADY, and REALLY OLD LADY appear with long prongs with apples on the end, holding them over a makeshift hearth. It is a stormy night.)

OLD LADY

Mr. Crane, will you tell us again the story of the Woman in White?

ICHABOD If you wish.

REALLY OLD LADY It makes my hairs stand.

ICHABOD Then be sure that your hairs take their seats. (The OLD LADIES erupt in laughter.)


OLD LADY Oh, Mr. Crane – you’re a hoot and a half!

ICHABOD I’m most pleased to relate the story, but I wouldn’t want it to set off your heart murmur again.

OLD LADY Oh, we can’t resist.

REALLY OLD LADY Go on, Mr. Crane, tell the tale.

ICHABOD Very late one night, many years ago, in my native Connecticut, a comet blazed in the night sky above a tiny hamlet. Many sensed something passing, but only one person was awake to eyewitness the incredible phenomenon: Young Sarah Dibble, the preacher’s daughter. She’d had a strange dream, and was left wide awake counting the stars. After seeing the comet, she became endowed with the most astounding gift. Astounding, I tell you – too sensational to be believed! She suddenly had the powers of . . . a psychic!

REALLY OLD LADY Oh Lord, I feel my murmur.

OLD LADY Shut up about your murmur. Let him finish.

ICHABOD Whatever lay ahead, good or bad, Young Sarah Dibble could foresee it. Everything from who was to die, to the bounty of the harvest to come. In the beginning, the town embraced her ability, hailed her talent as ordained from above. Many believed she was an angel, which is why she was always dressed in white. But not long after the town came into a rough patch. There was drought, famine, unbearable winters. Sarah foretold it all. Soon, the town began to blame her for every bad thing. They were desperate to accuse someone. And so they found her guilty of . . . witchcraft!

OLD LADY

You can’t be too careful when it comes to witches.

REALLY OLD LADY They’re a shady lot.

ICHABOD They took Young Sarah Dibble to the main square and stoned her bloody.


REALLY OLD LADY Stoning’s the only surefire way to kill a witch.

OLD LADY Aside from burning at the stake.

REALLY OLD LADY But the stench –

OLD LADY The smell of a burnt witch is the worst.

REALLY OLD LADY And, oh golly, does it linger.

OLD LADY For days. Worse than a dead skunk.

REALLY OLD LADY They were wise to have her stoned.

OLD LADY Please proceed.

ICHABOD The next day, in the same square, the people of the little hamlet had a celebration, thinking they were free from the curse. But in the middle of the festivities, hovering in the sky above them all, there appeared the ghost of Young Sarah Dibble, wearing her blood white dress. Legend has it that all who laid eyes on her that night never made it home. And she’s haunted the area ever since. To this very day, if you’re hapless enough to meet the Woman in White, death cannot be far behind.

REALLY OLD LADY I think I just peed myself.

OLD LADY You’re old. You’re obliged.

ICHABOD Perhaps this should be my cue to say goodnight.

OLD LADY But you haven’t heard a story from us.


ICHABOD I should be on my way before the storm gets worse. Besides, with all due respect, ladies, I think I’ve heard all of your stories before.

REALLY OLD LADY There’s one we’ve yet to tell.

OLD LADY It’s terribly horrifying.

REALLY OLD LADY We thought we’d let you get settled in town before sharing it.

ICHABOD I’ve likely heard tell of it already.

OLD LADY You haven’t heard this one.

REALLY OLD LADY It’s special to Sleepy Hollow.

ICHABOD Then, by all means, what’s it about?

LADIES TOGETHER (The ladies look at each other, then at their visitor.) THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN. (A crack of lightning and a peel of thunder. All start with a fright.)

ICHABOD Headless, you say?

REALLY OLD LADY

Indeed. A figure on horseback, without a head.

OLD LADY It’s quite a sight.

REALLY OLD LADY He’s very grumpy.

ICHABOD You’ve seen him?


OLD LADY Thankfully, no – but plenty have.

REALLY OLD LADY Legend has it he was a soldier in the Revolutionary War.

OLD LADY He had his head shot off by cannonball.

REALLY OLD LADY

At night he appears in the church graveyard –

OLD LADY And rides through the valley –

REALLY OLD LADY Upon his horse, galloping at ferocious speeds –

OLD LADY Ever in a rush.

ICHABOD What, if I may ask, is his hurry?

REALLY OLD LADY Why, to find his head by daybreak. (Another peel of thunder. Pause, as ICHABOD contemplates the horror.

He is nearly shivering.)

OLD LADY Well, have a good trip home, Mr. Crane!

REALLY OLD LADY We do enjoy your visits.

OLD LADY Here, take some apples.

REALLY OLD LADY You may want to stay close to the road.

(OLD LADY and REALLY OLD LADY exit. ICHABOD steps forward, seized with fear.)


MAYOR Z From then on, hardly an hour passed that Ichabod did not pay some thought to the headless ghost. He pictured the most ghastly abomination and its equally frightful horse! The vision of the two beasts – wicked and vile and bent on revenge – began to take hold in his head, a kind of phantom of the mind! The very thought nearly caused the schoolmaster to collapse in terror! (With this, a loud chord sounds and the image of the HEADLESS

HORSEMAN upon his horse, appears with lightning and thunder. We hear the HEADLESS HORSEMAN’S amplified, booming cackle, both sneering and mocking. This is a product of ICHABOD’S mind. Still, the thought makes ICHABOD jump, drop his apples, and rush off in fear.) (The image of the HEADLESS HORSEMAN looms, still mounted in its all-‐powerful pose, lightning going off around it. Allow the image to really sink in. Blackout.)


SCENE TWO

(Lights up on PIPER, alone onstage. She is visibly upset. NICOLE enters, clearing the apples, and sees PIPER.)

NICOLE

Pipes, you alright?

PIPER Yeah, sure.

NICOLE You don’t seem –

PIPER I just need a minute.

NICOLE Break’s almost over. The group’s mingling in the gift shop. We’re going to pick up with the Van Tassels. We need you for that.

PIPER The universe is a cold, cruel place – void of meaning and lasting happiness.

NICOLE Maybe you shouldn’t mention that to the group.

PIPER Robby broke up with me.

NICOLE What!

PIPER It’s over.

NICOLE But why? Don’t tell me –

PIPER Sleeping Beauty.

NICOLE Oh, Pipes, I’m sorry.


PIPER Apparently she doesn’t snore or drool.

NICOLE He’s a fickle jerk. You’re better off.

PIPER What hurts most is he broke it off by text message. (Reading message from phone.) “I break up you.” There’s a word missing. He didn’t even bother to proof it.

NICOLE At least break it off with a complete sentence.

PIPER Right. Would it have killed him to throw in an emoji?

NICOLE Totally classless. How long were you dating?

PIPER A week and a half.

NICOLE That’s not really very long.

PIPER I gave him the best week and half of my life.

NICOLE Listen, the tour’s about to start back. Do you want me to cover for you?

PIPER No, I’m okay. I can do it. It’ll help me forget.

NICOLE Positive?

PIPER Yeah. Thanks for being a friend.

NICOLE No worries. (Takes a deep breath, a little unsettled.) Okay, let’s finish this.


PIPER Are you okay?

NICOLE Yeah – why?

PIPER You look a little queasy.

NICOLE If I tell you something, promise you won’t laugh?

PIPER Of course.

NICOLE This story still gets to me.

PIPER The legend? You’re kidding. We must’ve told it a hundred times this summer.

NICOLE I know, but there’s something about this place, especially around the Headless Horseman stuff.

PIPER That’s so cute.

NICOLE You said you wouldn’t laugh.

PIPER I’m not laughing. I’m patronizing.

NICOLE It’s not like I believe any of it. I just get a little – unnerved sometimes.

PIPER (With a smirk.) It’s okay. I’ll protect you.

NICOLE Alright, be like that. Don’t tell anyone okay?

PIPER Sure. It’s between us.


NICOLE

Come on. We’re about to start back.

PIPER Just remind me where we were at in the story. (NICOLE and PIPER exit as MAYOR Z and OLAF enter on the line.

As they do, OLAF, out of character, is in mid-‐argument with MAYOR Z.)

OLAF The bell doesn’t make any sense.

MAYOR Z I like the bell.

OLAF But the town crier rings the bell, not the mayor. Details are important. We should aim to make Sleepy Hollow look like it’s the year 1790.

MAYOR Z Ease up on the authenticity. For crying out loud, the town has a Dunkin’ Donuts!

OLAF

There are some drawbacks.

MAYOR Z (Noting the audience.) Look, they’re staring at us.

OLAF It’s usually what audiences do. Pick it up.

MAYOR Z (Into character mode.) Greetings, friends! Where we left off, Ichabod had just learned of the Headless Horseman. Despite this discovery, he liked Sleepy Hollow very much.

OLAF And was thinking of establishing roots.

MAYOR Z Though he wasn’t content being a schoolmaster forever.

OLAF Oh no, he had his eye set on loftier aspirations.


MAYOR Z Ichabod Crane might have lived out a simple life in Sleepy Hollow, had his path not been crossed by a thing much more perplexing than any ghost or goblin.

OLAF Her name was Katrina Van Tassel. (KATRINA appears, striking a number of poses, enjoying all eyes

being on her.)

MAYOR Z She was a blooming lass.

OLAF As rosy-‐cheeked as one of her father’s peaches.

MAYOR Z

Universally famed, not merely for her beauty, but her vast expectations.

OLAF Meaning her father was rich.

MAYOR Z Katrina was much aware of her beauty, and enjoyed being the apple of every eligible bachelor’s eye.

OLAF A bit of a flirt, if you ask me.

MAYOR Z She and Ichabod became acquainted during her weekly singing lessons. (ICHABOD instructs KATRINA.)

ICHABOD And sing . . .

KATRINA Tra-‐la-‐la-‐la-‐la!

ICHABOD Again.



ICHABOD Once more.


ICHABOD Superb, Katrina, just superb.

KATRINA I feel my psalmody is vastly improved.

ICHABOD You’re becoming quite the songbird.

KATRINA I owe it all to you, Ichy.

ICHABOD (Blushing.) Oh well –

KATRINA

You’ve made such an impression in our little town.

ICHABOD I do what I can.

KATRINA You’re a true original.

ICHABOD Who am I to argue?

KATRINA Are you familiar with my father?

ICHABOD (Blurting eagerly.) Old Baltus Van Tassel!

KATRINA Yes, he’s the one.


ICHABOD (Collecting himself, underplaying.) I may have heard of him.

KATRINA Well, he’s hosting a merry-‐making at his estate tomorrow evening.

ICHABOD A merry-‐making?

KATRINA A party with no frill spared. I’d like you to attend.

ICHABOD (Barely keeping composed.) Me? I’m, I’m jubilant – I’m honored!

KATRINA Then you’ll be there?

ICHABOD I wouldn’t miss it for anything.

KATRINA Oh yay! I think you’ll like my home!

ICHABOD Many have spoken of its elegance.

KATRINA It’s a green manor house perched on the Hudson. (Throughout the following description, ICHABOD struggles to contain his ecstasy. He has daydreamed ceaselessly about the estate.)

ICHABOD

Sounds picturesque.

KATRINA We also have a farmhouse and a barn.

ICHABOD As I’ve heard.

KATRINA Treasures of the farm seem to burst forth from every crevice.


ICHABOD Do they?

KATRINA

Acre after acre of fat meadow lands.

ICHABOD It must be stunning.

KATRINA Oh it is. And along with the land, we have pigs.

ICHABOD (Mouthwatering.) Bacon.

KATRINA And chickens.

ICHABOD Roasted.

KATRINA And geese.

ICHABOD With gravy.

KATRINA As well as rich fields of wheat, rye and corn. And orchards overrunning with fruit. And that’s only the outside.

ICHABOD Please, go on.

KATRINA Once you enter our mansion, you’ll see immense treasures of old silver and well-‐mended china. A space the size of which you haven’t seen before, yet somehow filled full with resplendent wonders and handsome valuables. It is luxurious in every way thinkable. So we shall see you tomorrow evening.

ICHABOD

I’ll be there! I’ll be there!

OLAF Ichabod’s heart yearned after the damsel who was to inherit these domains.


MAYOR Z His only goal, his sole purpose, was to gain the affections of the woman before him.

OLAF

But there was one thing standing in his way. (BROM BONES enters with a loud, confident swagger.)

BROM (Boastful.) You ready to go, Katrina?

OLAF Brom Bones.

MAYOR Z Local hero.

OLAF And town hunk.

KATRINA Brom, what are you doing here?

BROM I’m here to walk you home.

ICHABOD (Sardonic.) Mr. Bones, come right in.

KATRINA That’s so sweet of you to escort me home. Isn’t that sweet, Ichy?

ICHABOD He’s a peach.

BROM I was waiting outside. I figured you’d be about done with this rooster.

KATRINA Oh, Brom, you and your good-‐natured nicknames. Ichy’s coaching my voice.

BROM I bet he’d like to coach other things too. (Towering over him, threatening.)


BROM (CONT’D) Isn’t that right, slim?

ICHABOD I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.

BROM Hey, did anyone ever tell you that your nose looks like a weather-‐cock? (This incites ICHABOD, but he keeps it together.)

KATRINA Oh Brom, stop teasing. Let’s be on our way. Until tomorrow, Ichy.

ICHABOD Yes. I’m all abubble.

BROM Abubble? Seriously? Who says abubble?

KATRINA Father will be so pleased to meet you. I talk of you incessantly.

BROM What is this? You invited him to the merry-‐making?

KATRINA Yes I did.

BROM (Bothered.) Oh, that’s real super. I wasn’t aware his type would be there.

KATRINA And what type is that?

BROM The foppish, dull type.

KATRINA Be nice, Brom.

ICHABOD

I think, perhaps, Mr. Bones isn’t accustomed to competition.


BROM Competition? From you? If I wanted, I could bend you in two.

ICHABOD

Not all attributes derive from muscle and brawn.

BROM You wanna bet?

KATRINA Come on, Brom. I’m ready to go. Goodbye, Ichy.

BROM (Mocking.) Yeah, bye, Ichy. Oh, by the bye, you’d better take caution tomorrow night – I hear there’s a full moon. Later, slim. (They exit. ICHABOD turns a little pale.)

ICHABOD Full moon?

MAYOR Z Such was the formidable rival with whom Ichabod Crane had to contend.

OLAF To his credit, he was not about to back down. In his own way, he was tough, stubborn.

MAYOR Z He was not a man to be thwarted in his amours.

OLAF He would do whatever it took to secure Katrina’s hand.

MAYOR Z And so he was categorical in his preparations for the next night’s frolic.

OLAF This was his big chance.

MAYOR Z The following day he dismissed school early.

(ICHABOD prepares himself as the following is described.)


OLAF He clad himself in his best jacket.

MAYOR Z One he only wore on special occasions.

OLAF He combed and accounted for every hair on his head.

ICHABOD (Counting hairs as he combs.) 884 . . . 885 . . . 886 . . .

MAYOR Z This alone took him seven hours.

OLAF Then dabbed himself with rose water.

MAYOR Z More like drenched.

OLAF He was as freshly spruced as any man of his means could be.

MAYOR Z Yet he had no mode of transportation.

OLAF Other than walking – but he wanted to go in style.

MAYOR Z So he asked to borrow his current boarder’s horse. (Enter FARMER BART.)

FARMER BART Gunpowder?

ICHABOD Yes.

FARMER BART You want me to loan you Gunpowder?


ICHABOD That’s right, your horse. I’d be very grateful. It’s quite a shindig I’m attending.

FARMER BART It must be. You smell like a rose.

ICHABOD Thank you.

FARMER BART It’s not a compliment.

ICHABOD Well, what do you say? Can you part with your steed for the evening?

FARMER BART He’s just a broken-‐down plow horse, but I reckon there’s no harm. (Calling off.) Thelma, bring out Gunpowder! Mr. Crane’s going to borrow him for the evening! (To ICHABOD.) Now, this horse, he’s not keen on going out at night.

ICHABOD I’ll ride him slow.

FARMER BART You won’t have a choice. (MRS. FARMER BART enters with Gunpowder. The horse can be a simple

riding stick, dressed up to reflect as much of Gunpowder’s sluggish personality as possible.)

MRS. FARMER BART

Here he is. Just woke him.

FARMER BART He’s not much to look at.

ICHABOD Oh, he’ll do in a pinch. Any special instructions?

FARMER BART Not really. A horse is a horse, as they say.

ICHABOD Does he have any particular likes?


FARMER BART Just naps.

MRS. FARMER BART And passing gas.

FARMER BART Sometimes both at once.

MRS. FARMER BART They do take after their owners.

FARMER BART It’s why we call him Gunpowder.

ICHABOD (Having mounted the horse.) Well, off I go. I’m forever indebted. Come along, Gunpowder.

FARMER BART Think nothing of it.

ICHABOD Bye now. (ICHABOD rides off on Gunpowder as the BARTS wave and call out.)

MRS. FARMER BART Good evening!

FARMER BART Have a nice time!

MRS. FARMER BART Try not to die! (The BARTS exit. We see ICHABOD riding.)

MAYOR Z It was a jolly autumn day when Ichabod rode to Van Tassel’s.

OLAF The sky was clear and serene.

MAYOR Z Along the way, he fed his mind with many sweet thoughts –


OLAF Imagining the culinary abundance he would soon indulge in.

MAYOR Z

Platters of cakes – of every variety.

OLAF Sweet cakes and short cakes –

MAYOR Z Ginger cakes and honey cakes –

ICHABOD (Shouting to himself.) The whole family of cakes!

OLAF And then there would be the pies.

ICHABOD Oh, the pies . . .

MAYOR Z Apple pies, and peach pies, and pumpkin pies –

OLAF Beside trays of ham and smoked beef –

MAYOR Z Next to plums and pears, and bowls of cream!

OLAF He told himself he’d taste it all.

ICHABOD I’ll taste it all!

OLAF And so he would.

MAYOR Z It was early evening that Ichabod arrived at the Van Tassel manor.

OLAF His head already swimming with the riches of the place.


MAYOR Z It was spirited scene.

OLAF Half the town seemed to be present.

MAYOR Z Including the two of us. (With this, the company enters. It’s a party! Men and women eat and drink, laugh and chat – really whooping it up. MAYOR Z

and OLAF join in. KATRINA and BROM are here too. There is great frivolity, everyone having a good time. ICHABOD is seen in the middle of this crowd. Someone takes Gunpowder and welcomes him. ICHABOD nods and smiles at the merry-‐makers, very pleased to be here. He is met by MR. VAN TASSEL.)

MR. VAN TASSEL Mr. Crane?

ICHABOD Yes?

MR. VAN TASSEL Baltus Van Tassel.

ICHABOD Oh, sir, it’s an honor.

MR. VAN TASSEL The honor is mine. My daughter speaks very highly of you.

ICHABOD Does she?

MR. VAN TASSEL You’ve done wonders for her voice.

ICHABOD It is my hope that I may continue to serve this family in a number of ways.

MR. VAN TASSEL Oh, how generous of you. Do you juggle? I’ve always wanted to learn to juggle.

ICHABOD That’s not quite what I had in mind.


KATRINA Father! I see you’ve met Ichy!

MR. VAN TASSEL I have, indeed – at long last.

KATRINA

Isn’t he impressive, father?

MR. VAN TASSEL Quite so. Mr. Crane, I assume you will enjoy yourself?

ICHABOD Oh, more than you know, sir.

KATRINA Daddy, when can we dance? You promised we could dance!

MR. VAN TASSEL Right away, my darling. (Claps hands.) Let there be music! Everyone dance!

(Music starts on cue, everyone dances instantly, wildly. Again, as before, consider using contemporary dance music here, perhaps electronic dance music.)

(After a moment of mass dancing, it becomes clear that ICHABOD and BROM are the two best dancers. The party-‐goers begin to notice this and clear the space for the them to duel in a dance off, cheering and urging them on. ICHABOD and BROM square off.) (Much fun should be had with the rivals trying to one-‐up each other with dance moves. In the end, ICHABOD prevails as the winner and everyone cheers him, clapping him on the back. BROM sneers and

pouts.)

PARTY-‐GOER WITH PIPE Who knew the schoolmaster could dance!

PARTY-‐GOER WITH CAKE Such gyrations! Saint Vitus would be proud!

PARTY-‐GOER WITH BIG HAIR I didn’t know the human body could do that!


MR. VAN TASSEL Well done, Crane, well done!

KATRINA Oh, Ichy! That was sensational!

ICHABOD It was nothing really.

MAYOR Z Three cheers for Ichabod Crane! (A chorus of hip-‐hip-‐hoorays!)

OLAF Well, how do we top that excitement?

MR. VAN TASSEL Why don’t we tell ghost stories? (The room approves with “yeas” and “huzzahs.”)

MAYOR Z

Which one should we tell?

PARTY-‐GOER WITH PIPE How about the Ghost of Widow Pearl? (“Yeas” and “huzzahs.”)

PARTY-‐GOER WITH CAKE Or the Three Witches of Beekman Wood? (“Yeas” and “huzzahs.”)

PARTY-‐GOER WITH BIG HAIR Or the Demon of the Old Well? (“Yeas” and “huzzahs.”)

MAYOR Z

Let’s hear all three! (“Yeas” and “huzzahs.”)


BROM (Interrupting brusquely.) Why bother with that tripe! There’s only one that really matters.

MR. VAN TASSEL And which would that be, Brom?

BROM The most terrifying of them all: the tale of the Headless Horseman. (Ooohs and ahhhs.) We all know he’s been spotted several times of late, patrolling the valley.

MAYOR Z

Perhaps, Brom, it’s too late in the evening for such disturbing accounts.

BROM I’m not afraid of him. No way. I’ve seen him with my own eyes. (Ooohs and ahhhs.) That’s right. All of you say how this region is haunted, how the land is infected with dreams and fancies of the supernatural. But your evidence is based on idle speculation and rumors. I, conversely, have seen the Headless Horseman face to face.

PARTY-‐GOER WITH BIG HAIR How can he have a face if he doesn’t have a head?

BROM It’s a figure of speech. Work with me here.

MAYOR Z Let’s hear, Brom – how did you come by the fiend?

BROM I was passing by the church cemetery late one night. That’s where he tethers his horse and begins his nightly ride. He lives among the graves. (Ooohs and ahhhs.) He bolted straight for me, but I did not budge. He wanted to frighten me, but I stood firm. Ghost or not, I won’t be made a fool by some galloping Hessian. I could see the callous horseman admired my courage. I offered to race him.

PARTY-‐GOER WITH CAKE You offered to race the horseman!

BROM For a bowl of punch.


KATRINA Oh, Brom, you’re so brave!

BROM I was sure I could beat him. My Daredevil is the fastest steed there ever was. The horseman and his goblin horse were no match. And so we raced. From the church, through the graveyard, over bush and brake, over hill and swamp, the earth shook beneath as the living and the dead settled their bet. On one side of the cemetery raves a large brook among broken rocks and trunks of fallen trees. Down this path we rode – with me in front, mind you. Ahead there was the bridge, and I was sure I could stretch my lead once we crossed. But just as we reached it – bam! (Gasps from the listeners.) He turned into a skeleton! (More gasps.) Then went up in flames and disappeared into thin air! Poof! (More gasps.) I’ll remember it as long as I live. A thing so real suddenly vanishes into thin air! What do the laws of science say to that?

PARTY-‐GOER WITH PIPE You were the better horseman, Brom!

BROM I wouldn’t want to gloat –

ICHABOD (Muttering.) Too late.

BROM But I dueled with death, and whipped it good.

MR. VAN TASSEL Three cheers for brave Brom Bones!

(A chorus of hip-‐hip-‐hoorays!) Now let us move beyond such eerie lore, and continue with the revelry! (Music picks back up and the party continues. MAYOR Z and OLAF step out to address the audience.)

MAYOR Z The revel didn’t last much longer.

OLAF It was growing late, and all were stuffed full.


(PARTY-‐GOERS begin to file out.)

MAYOR Z Before departing, Ichabod was anxious for a word with Katrina.

OLAF It was time to profess his feelings for her.

MAYOR Z Or, to put it frankly – time to make his move.

OLAF At last, the two were alone.

ICHABOD

Katrina, may I have a word?

KATRINA Of course, Ichy. What is it?

ICHABOD These last few months –

KATRINA My voice has advanced immeasurably. (Sings.) Do-‐Re-‐Mi-‐Fa-‐So-‐La-‐Ti!

ICHABOD No doubt, it has. But I’d like to discuss something even closer to my heart.

KATRINA Closer to your heart?

ICHABOD These last few months, your lessons have been the highlight of my week.

KATRINA Aw, Ichy, that’s sweet.

ICHABOD And I think – it is my wish – that our relationship may move beyond mere teacher-‐pupil status.

KATRINA What status did you have in mind?


ICHABOD Husband-‐wife.

KATRINA Husband-‐wife?

ICHABOD (Kneels.) Katrina Van Tassel, will you take my hand in marriage? (Pause. Awkward. Then KATRINA bursts out laughing.)

KATRINA Oh, Ichy, you’re full of surprises! Tonight, I’ve not only learned that you’re a gifted dancer, but that you also possess the most remarkable sense of humor!

ICHABOD I’m not sure I follow.

KATRINA (Speaking through her laughter.) Me marry you! What an utterly outlandish thought! You’re such a jokester, Ichy! How have you been thinking that one up?

ICHABOD Since I first set eyes on you.

KATRINA Everyone knows I’ll likely end up with Brom. I’m just drawing things out because I like to see him jealous.

ICHABOD Oh.

KATRINA The very notion of me betrothed to you – it’s hysterical!

ICHABOD Yes.

KATRINA You were joking right?

ICHABOD Oh yes. Ha ha.


KATRINA Ouch, my gut hurts!

ICHABOD It’s not that funny.

KATRINA Ichy, you’ve been so entertaining tonight. I’m so glad you came.

ICHABOD (Flatly.) Me too. (KATRINA exits laughing. Someone from the party brings out Gunpowder.)

OLAF

And it was with heavy heart that Ichabod left the revel.

MAYOR Z He mounted Gunpowder and began the glum journey home.

OLAF Along the sides of lofty hills, which he had traversed so cheerily in the afternoon.

MAYOR Z His hopes and dreams of securing Katrina and her wealth had been squelched in an instant.

OLAF The sole positive was that Ichabod had forgotten how late it was.

MAYOR Z The hour was as dismal as himself.

OLAF

Nor did he register the slowness of Gunpowder’s gait.

MAYOR Z That is, until a dog howled in the distance. (ICHABOD starts at this; it stirs him from his sulking. He now realizes

it’s late, dark, and that he is alone. Things become gloomy, spooky.)

MAYOR Z It was at this point that Ichabod remembered himself.


OLAF He began to shudder with dread.

MAYOR Z For the cemetery was straight ahead.

OLAF And this was where the great chase would ensue.

MAYOR Z Before we get to that, let us show you a map. Olaf, if you will. (OLAF unfurls a large map. The map shows what the two describe. MAYOR Z uses a pointer. Throughout the chase, MAYOR Z indicates where they are on the map, helping the audience to follow the chase.)

OLAF A visual aid.

MAYOR Z (As shown on the map.) To help you get a lay of the land. This is the road leading to the cemetery, and Ichabod is right about here at present. All of this over here is the cemetery. Running up the side of the church is a series of streams and brooks, a path that leads to the little wooden bridge, where the Headless Horseman burst into flames. Just beyond the bridge, on a grassy knoll, stands our whitewashed church.

OLAF As Brom Bones described in his story.

MAYOR Z But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. In summary, if you encounter the Headless Horseman at the cemetery, you must make it across the wooden bridge to escape him.

OLAF Now back to Ichabod, who again –

MAYOR Z (Indicating with pointer.) -‐-‐ was right about here.

OLAF Ichabod recalled all of these details as he rode.


MAYOR Z He was troubled by the absolute silence of the night. Listen. (For a few moments ICHABOD, petrified, rides in silence.)

OLAF Finally, he heard –

MAYOR Z Or thought he heard –

OLAF Distant ghostly chants that seemed to be saying –

GHOSTLY CHANTS OFFSTAGE (Phony, Scooby-‐Doo ghost calls.) I-‐I-‐I-‐cha-‐booood! I-‐I-‐I-‐cha-‐booood! I-‐I-‐I-‐cha-‐booood!

ICHABOD (Trying to reassure himself.) Keep it together, Crane – it’s just the wind . . .

GHOSTLY CHANTS OFFSTAGE No-‐o-‐o-‐o-‐o it’s not! It’s not just the wind! It’s something much scarier!

ICHABOD Still the wind . . .

GHOSTLY CHANTS OFFSTAGE Again, to clarify, it’s not the wind! It’s the spirits of Sleepy Hollow! Ooooo!

ICHABOD The wind’s playing tricks on me.

GHOSTLY CHANTS OFFSTAGE How many times do we have to say? It’s not –

ICHABOD (With finality.) Shut up, wind!

GHOSTLY CHANTS OFFSTAGE (Still in Scooby-‐Doo ghost voices.) So ru-‐u-‐u-‐u-‐u-‐de!


(ICHABOD rides on – essentially riding in place on Gunpowder – listening for the voices. They seem to be gone. He relaxes a little. He tries to relax a little more by whistling.) (He whistles a couple of bars, but, from offstage, the whistling echoes. He whistles again, followed by the echo. He whistles a final time, but it comes back to him again.)

ICHABOD Hurry along now, Gunpowder. Pick up the pace.

MAYOR Z It was here that Ichabod passed by the cemetery.

OLAF He sensed he was being watched.

MAYOR Z His heart began to thump.

OLAF He gave Gunpowder a kick to the ribs.

MAYOR Z Whatever eyes were on him – he could feel them gaining.

OLAF Summoning his courage, he avoided passing out.

MAYOR Z Ichabod jerked the horse’s reins.

OLAF He was nearly clear of the cemetery when –

MAYOR Z Just at this moment, in the dark shadow of the grove, he beheld something huge, misshapen and towering. It stirred not, but seemed gathered up in the gloom, like some gigantic monster ready to spring upon the traveller. (A loud crash is heard along with the ferocious neighing of a horse. In a flash of lightning, the HEADLESS HORSEMAN appears.)

OLAF

Though the night was dark, he appeared to be a horseman of large dimensions, and mounted on a black horse of powerful frame.


ICHABOD Who are you?

MAYOR Z Stammered Ichabod.

ICHABOD Who are you, I say?

OLAF But there was no reply.

MAYOR Z Then suddenly, the Headless Horseman put itself in motion, aiming straight for the schoolmaster.

ICHABOD Ahhh!!!

OLAF And off they went.

MAYOR Z A race for the wooden bridge. (With regard to staging, it is best to keep the chase simple. It is advised

that they do not literally chase each other about the stage. This approach could appear clunky and muddled. Rather, ICHABOD and the HORSEMAN, perched up their horses/riding sticks, should ride in place. The rising action of the chase can be created with composition, sound, lighting, ICHABOD’S panic, and the HORSEMAN’S intensity.)

OLAF Downhill they plunged –

MAYOR Z Now clear of the cemetery –

OLAF And into a sandy hollow, shaded by trees –

MAYOR Z Which formed a narrow road that led to the bridge.

OLAF The goblin was hard on his haunches.


ICHABOD Run, you dumb nag! Run! Can’t you see the devil’s behind us! (We hear the steady boom of the HEADLESS HORSEMAN’S

amplified cackle.)

MAYOR Z Ichabod felt the black steed panting behind him!

OLAF He even fancied he felt his hot breath!

ICHABOD If I can reach that bridge, I’m safe!

MAYOR Z An opening in the trees showed the church bridge was at hand.

OLAF Ichabod’s heart soared with relief. He was going to make it.

MAYOR Z Gunpowder sprang across the bridge –

OLAF Thundering over the resounding planks.

MAYOR Z Now on the opposite side, Ichabod cast a look behind –

OLAF To see if his pursuer should vanish, according to rule –

MAYOR Z In a flash of fire and brimstone.

OLAF It was only now that Ichabod had a vivid picture his ghostly hunter.

MAYOR Z The figure was gigantic in height.

OLAF Ichabod was horror-‐struck on perceiving –


MAYOR Z -‐-‐ you guessed it -‐-‐

OLAF

-‐-‐ that it was headless!

MAYOR Z But worst of all –

OLAF As if things could be any worse for Ichabod –

MAYOR Z Worst of all, he observed that the head, which should have rested on the Horseman’s shoulders, was now tucked under one of his arms!

OLAF Ichabod’s terror rose to desperation –

MAYOR Z As the Horseman gripped its head and hurled it at the helpless schoolmaster! (Indeed, the HEADLESS HORSEMAN throws his head, which is only a pumpkin with a carved face. It falls before ICHABOD, splattering if possible. At this, ICHABOD screams in absolute despair. He drops Gunpowder and rushes offstage, screaming the whole way.) (The HEADLESS HORSEMAN, triumphant, rears his horse Daredevil. His cackle amplifies louder than ever. After a moment, lights go out on him, and a softer, more peaceful light floods the stage. MAYOR Z and OLAF are now alone. Pause. Quiet settles in.)

OLAF (Picking up Gunpowder.) The next morning the old horse was found, but no Ichabod.

MAYOR Z The children sat at their desks in the schoolhouse, but no Ichabod.

OLAF Boarders prepared breakfast, but no Ichabod.

MAYOR Z The brook was searched for bodies, but no Ichabod.


OLAF It seemed he had vanished in the night.

MAYOR Z The only clue was the shattered pumpkin.

OLAF But no one knew what to make of it.

MAYOR Z And so we here in Sleepy Hollow have come to the conclusion that Ichabod Crane was carried off by the Galloping Hessian.

OLAF All signs point to it.

MAYOR Z Maybe the Horseman got the head he’d been coveting.

OLAF We natives sure hope so.

MAYOR Z Maybe now he’ll let us be. At any rate, things are mostly back to status quo.

OLAF It’s how we prefer it.

MAYOR Z The big news is that Brom and Katrina are engaged.

OLAF They’re to be wed later this year.

MAYOR Z Old Van Tassel’s throwing another feast in their honor.

OLAF We’re sure to attend, aren’t we, Mayor Z?

MAYOR Z Oh, you can be sure – though I’ll probably leave before dark. (They laugh.)


OLAF I think we all will.

MAYOR Z (Re: the audience.) Speaking of the dark, you’d better be getting home yourselves.

OLAF We hope you’ve enjoyed our tale.

MAYOR Z You’d be wise to keep a steady pace on your way out.

OLAF Avoid the cemetery at all costs.

MAYOR Z And, just to be safe, once in a while, you may want to glance behind you.

OLAF After all, in these parts, you never know what will be following.

MAYOR Z Goodnight now!

OLAF Goodnight from old Sleepy Hollow! (MAYOR Z and OLAF wave and head off together. They can be heard chatting out of character.)

MAYOR Z

You up for Dunkin’ Donuts?

OLAF You read my mind.

MAYOR Z Let’s get out of these costumes first.

OLAF Gladly. I’ve had a wedgy since scene one. (They exit. Brief blackout into the next scene.)


SCENE THREE

(NICOLE and PIPER onstage, out of costume, after the performance.)

NICOLE

Nice show.

PIPER Thanks – you too.

NICOLE Are you going to be okay tonight?

PIPER Yeah. Just stings a little. I’ll get over it.

NICOLE I think we’re the last ones here.

PIPER Big shock. No one cleaned up the pumpkin.

NICOLE Leave it. We’ll get it before tomorrow’s tour.

PIPER Let’s just do it now. It’ll be less gross.

NICOLE It’s almost dark.

PIPER It’ll only take a second.

NICOLE Alright. (The two begin to clean up the shards of pumpkin.)

PIPER What do you think actually happened to him?

NICOLE Who?


PIPER

Ichabod.

NICOLE From the story? Well, the Headless Horseman got him.

PIPER Yeah, but the story’s kind of making fun of these people for the superstitions. Isn’t it more likely that someone played a trick on him?

NICOLE You mean, like Brom Bones.

PIPER Yeah, to scare him off. He’s the one who planted the idea at the party. Plus, he was a skilled horseman, and his steed was the fastest in the region. He could have easily pulled it off.

NICOLE Sure, possibly.

PIPER Or maybe Ichabod staged it all himself.

NICOLE Why would he do that?

PIPER From a broken heart. When someone rejects you, really hurts you, don’t you want to just get away? Start over again someplace else. Maybe that’s what he was doing.

NICOLE Could be. Or maybe there really was a Headless Horseman.

PIPER Maybe. But that’s not how I read the story. It’s called a legend, and legends aren’t typically true.

NICOLE You’re such a skeptic.

PIPER I’m a realist. (They’ve finished cleaning up the pumpkin.)


NICOLE Did you bike here?

PIPER Yeah. You?

NICOLE Yeah.

PIPER Where’d you park?

NICOLE On the other side of the cemetery.

PIPER Oooooooo . . .

NICOLE Shut up.

PIPER It’s okay. I’ll walk with you. Besides, bicycles have replaced horses. I wonder if the Headless Horseman rides a bike now.

NICOLE You can’t tell me that you don’t find this place the least bit creepy at night.

PIPER Alright, it’s a little creepy. (A light slowly, gradually, begins to come up on the HEADLESS HORSEMAN, looming behind the girls, unseen.)

NICOLE See – you admitted it.

PIPER But that doesn’t mean it has goblins.

NICOLE I didn’t say it did. I’m only saying that you can see how one might believe –

PIPER It’s called a legend for a reason.


NICOLE Legends can be true – they’re just unproven.

PIPER Whatever. It’s late. Come on.

NICOLE Wait. Do you feel that?

PIPER Feel what?

NICOLE Like someone is here with us?

PIPER That’s not funny, Nicole. Stop goofing.

NICOLE I’m not. I’m serious. You know how you can sense when someone’s watching.

PIPER (Uneasy.) I’m done with this.

NICOLE You can feel it too. I can tell.

PIPER Let’s go. Are we getting our bikes or not?

NICOLE I think we should run for it.

PIPER Run? Are you for real? For the last time, it’s only a legend. (The light is up full on the HEADLESS HORSEMAN, large and threatening. We hear his ominous cackle a final time. PIPER and NICOLE look at each other in disbelief.) (Blackout.)

END OF PLAY

by! !Jonathan!Yukich! Adapted!from“The!Legend!of!Sleepy ... ·...

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Transcript of by! !Jonathan!Yukich! Adapted!from“The!Legend!of!Sleepy ... ·...