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A1jlivalssta11111111\~ . _-~~tve~1M of t he m eal, these h e a d e dc o m m a n d o s

the water closetR v t it

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ICrap-driven e n z e a l o ts

phi losophy of ' do i t now an dg

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p a y

fuckeadfor i t la ter '. Without ever

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rippedl 'O all, they fail bloody finge rsto fly ou t o f(~ 1 ~ drivers , as bodiesand being sucked out,

1 j ~ n o w h e r eb l o w i n g conc eal their hideosm e t h e y tures of deads fre

the cute li t tle pictop the sea ofature withwith

people floating helplesslya

spinning faces all yelling that something isgoing wrong. ..and fast

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q glorC racking, fa l ling, laughing, ea t ing , analways won dering wh ere the fuck it 's a lgonna begin, the BUTTHO LE SURFERSseem to think the stuff betwee n their toesis something more than a highway, morethan a se a tur tle , more than sca bs whichblock their view. Could i t be a revelation?No, probably not, but maybe just maybethe stuff they leave behind c ould sm ell upthe whole world and make G od rol l downhis window and that little fly calledDumbass could get out of the car. NO noThey'l l never die. They'll never l ive. Thebread they ea t com es f rom a d i ffe ren tstore and their scars turn into open sore sas the acc iden ts they had reoccur wi th

a n d

startl ing regularity. Bathing in the clayrefuse of a thousand blackened bananas, ,the fruits of their labor are the grap es ofwrath, and the m onkeys they walk to thesea don ' t know how to swim. Co uld i t bethe de l icate thre ad of san i ty i tself haswoven round the penis of malcontent l ike avice crushing the han d of a naked judge,or is i t jus t a do g hov ering l ike a schoo lteacher in a bad dream poised above fieldsof razorblade studded sunflowers, a bunchof chi ldren with brain tumors the s ize ofTurkish weddings?

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GIBBY Who a . . . hard one to buthen you ve had a few Tkihurs weddingsremo ved f rom your head , funny th ingsstart to happen .M R R: Gee, i t's a drag wh en surgery won 'tsolve allyour p r o b l e m s .PA U L: It 's a problem w hen surgery won'trag out all the pain.

M R R: Wh y d id you guys dec ide to tourduring the Christmas holidays?BILL: We like to follow the circus.Tn o w s

E R R E S S A: Shut up Bill . Everyonelogs do n't roll uphill.TTfTr I

They look l ike sh i ts gon na r ing t i t They sm ell like hellW onsome sick

SURFERS just comsomle teeBd the

thorough wiping of t hateda theeWes t

b e a c ht h e m C o a

s t . S

l

o m e

ra

w i

sog nve rvedtheih e m , m e

.dumpsthey dotook the show e But thers they had,and the teeth they neg lected to brush willp e o p l e

eo o n

inbe the rgotten by at lea st a dozenNorthern C al ifornia a re al o n e .

a th s/1r0r

r it w a shearing men moan ing, "Go

a w a y in N e w M e x ic o r e s t,Whether there wereaway oppOdiscovering that thestops or of flies in East Phoen ix shitload sBUTTHOLES themselves probably learne

d atwo, and the mone y they spentnt

thing n is at this ver momet atg pa t te rn san d generated dizzyinspinning bra in an d fuzz the m ind wi th

like WH Y ?Oh these

co m p l ic a t edquest ionsumb the had a

may have appeared to haved id; and wha t they

guys t ime , but the yg o o d diets from Franco, theydea about Uthelicopter rep air from

l l e a r n eBiafra.

R h it eM B L IN

c D Ohe the rd ~r ,ko in a sm el lyKing ssa her red-headed s e xw King the bro ther the b lond bom bso me t i m e s ' V ola t t i i le lychildish Gibby,bl thee m i- co n s c i o u s

y aul,er Bill andpull off bass pla theira embarr some of the s t u p id e s t m a n a g e dto

d most' g show tt s indry ice sl iRock and Roll 'call

i e c e n tmemory, calltook up your pe rs ofheint ns hoe

fahele g

.n off the old' thes e ladsquirrel ande . .~ . . , stuck

rr e * O i

. .rr,failfa~r~11~ay~matYou co uld slough it off as self-indulge n c e or you could dism iss i t as justdumbasses , but i t cann ot be denied theseBUTT-weilding scaven gers of the innerhave m ore than just a fewp r o b le m s

nder their wigs. It is with totalup u

aftera m a z e m e nt

e m b a rr a s s in g hs o n gIwithetheoaudacu d a c i t yand agili ty of a sm all retarded child, andthe rewards they receive are brown andspread between. You won t find theseassholes w ast ing t im e around the p ot ty;i t' s one hand dow n wh ile the other handhits the ground for these so ns of bitches

eyed clowns. Oozap o a n d p p insnd one gontage l ike a raw egg dropp edyour mother s c leavage , thei r d ia logue isthat of a spastic jackal hurling aan d

nd Christa s h e d e v o u r s t h e b o d ychild. Blessed not with the courage offive, but with the smell of ten, their3-ring brown circus of sick fits has caused

chil dren to m iss school, blood to appe arear in' your s tock ings , and a g row inga gland thatirregularity among dogs.got out of hand , these s wollenr t

throwba c k s

to the brown age Cnjuruand t fa chicken- e y e d girlfriends gu t -wren ching t raged y of floa t ing c orn .

if an ugly person was knocking1I Yes, as your door, these chocalate bodyserve mute testimony to the childish

tlt memory of the stupidest man alive.a y.olmegrmel l e g o.ii Q

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.ag1ora r__, ; . .a - .__easaaOi

to

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M R R: Hey guys se t t le dow n. So whathe diameters ofyour penis holes?IL L: Quarter inch.K I N G: 3/8 I guess.f GIBBY: That 's weirdquestion.A U L: 9/32.T H E R R E S S A: About an inch.R R: Mmmm , nice and t ight.T H E R R E S S A: Th a n k s.

011111.01M R R: So Kin

(King Vi tam in) I

seee(in press release ) that you have a pcorn s tuck in your l e ft ea r. Er . .. w hthe story?K I N G: Well one evening Iw a s boredkings tend to be, and so me of the had eaten for d inner remained on aIn a very innocent gesture, I stuck a~piece in my ear where i t has remdeeply lodged and unm oving fo rthree years now. I t's sort of l ike he athe world through corn-shrouded eaM R R: That 's wi ld and you are f rom K I N G: Yes, and I was born and ra isFt . Worth, Texas.M R R: You guys real ly go wild wheplay live gigs.E V E R Y B O D Y :Thanx. . . w o w. .. c o o l. ..bitchin. MRR : Haa . .. and I jus t wanted to as k you

wh ere you got off to acting like hanasal-thinner and the diseased m ustan. ia .

.0siolillil gOgo* . ev . : . 0 il 0

Ralf IISIv ; 8fiiisaw~ setThrown clear of the wreckage of tdecade, these SURFERS ask not whacan do for their cou ntry, but just ewhat their country has stuck up theirbutts . Some sa y aim low and you wilyour goal. They say, Hell No , aim syou wil l p iss on your shoes. Not onlythey bite the hand that feed s themtry to make it jack em off . These jeknow the difference between m ayonamiracle whip an d aren t unw i ll ing tothe cur ta in and scrape the old bag

the nails. Not too long a go you co

buy a good scre am. Those days are band nuns are doing backflips inconvenience s tores wheneve r thesfloatin cow beaters plop into town. Noignore the crust around the ed gethese gals you get the pa thway of a w iff of flyhead s, and the ga ssy eof death itself from the bow els ofe m b a r r a s s m e n t. Bugs stand in line asmonkeys hump and grind. Not just anocase of the deaf leading the bl ind. Soout and cornit. . ..the brown crime

/11101100ili 2ali IM eau,

M R R: So what are your favorite bandsE V E R Y B O D Y: F R I G H T W I G ,

B L O WMOSES, ED ASNER IS A GUY, LH E N R Y B A B B L E W IG S ,M R R

: W ow, I thought fo r su re youcould hand le yourselves in a crow dnut and berry gatherers.T H E R R E S S A

: Yeah, for a while it reallyb o th e r e d u s a n d t h e m o r e w e t h oabout it the m ore we had to s tar t wleg and arm braces.

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;SUS .f~11. 1 1 1I;MRR: So, are you guys associated withany of those bea d-pul l ing bands f rom jus tnor th o f Hous ton?GIBBY: No . CLEOPATRA S VAGINA,W I G WA M C A F E TA R I A P E N C I LS , L O R N EGREEN S BIKINI, the JACK OFFICERS,A C O R N S T R A N G ER; STERN FARMER,GARLAND MIDGET TRA ILS, DOUBLED-UPNUN, IRON TOOTHPICK, LEG WHEAT, theA G A I N S T E R S , S C O T T I S H D O N K E Y

STUNTMANTHROAT OYSTER CULT,SENATOR,J E S U S

C UPAK ELJ E SUS, MILKBLOOD AND HAIR, SCREENDOOR PENIS, the

FOCKLERS, the TWIGS OF SISTERYESTERDAY, SNAKE HANDLERSCO NVENTION, HITLER'S LOST TESTICLE,PILLAR OF FISH,

ARTHUR E PALE AAND WASPS, ALL OLD

D E A D LYLAWHALES, G A Y TRINE,FLUSH AND BUR L IVES.

a eli tts essissest s li nesssGII sv a

s Photo by Murray Bowles

. expose' 4 >

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1 1 1 H. /1~ U T T T H O L E SURFERS:

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*PLEASE NOTICE* We are phasing-out our dis t r4but- lon operat ions.You can contact Toxic Shock (714) 865-2088 as wel l as *otherd i s t r ibu to r s fo r d st r ibut ion of your products . TO T H O S E P E O P L ETO W H O M W E S T I L L O W E M O N E Y: We are s t i l l col lect ing our accountsrece ivab le and wi l l be pay ing eve ryone o ff a s we r e ce ive ou rpayments . Th i s may t ake some t ime , so p l ease bea r w i th us . Thanks.

*UPSTART re l eases ava i l ab le th ru : Bonaparte , Dutch East India ,Greenwor ld , Impor t an t , J em, Rough Trade , Sounds Good , Sys t ema t i c ,Tox ic Shock , and Twin C i t i e s

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