BuildingRelationshipsofTrust

8/7/2019 BuildingRelationshipsofTrust

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TRUST:TRUST:

Firm reliance on theFirm reliance on theintegrity, ability, orintegrity, ability, or

character of a personcharacter of a person

or thing.or thing.


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Why are trustingWhy are trusting

relationships sorelationships soimportant in theimportant in the

workplace?workplace?


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The connections we make are what pull usThe connections we make are what pull us

through hard times and give meaning to thethrough hard times and give meaning to the

good. Simply put, we need one another. Wegood. Simply put, we need one another. Weneed connections that matter, connections thatneed connections that matter, connections that

are heartfelt. We need to connectare heartfelt. We need to connect----oror

reconnectreconnect----to our friends, our families, ourto our friends, our families, our

neighbors, ourneighbors, our communities. We also need tocommunities. We also need toconnectconnect----or reconnector reconnect------to our pasts, ourto our pasts, our

traditions, and our ideals.traditions, and our ideals.

ConnectingConnecting


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A human moment occurs anytime twoA human moment occurs anytime two

or more people are together, payingor more people are together, paying

attention to one another. Theseattention to one another. Theseconnections are the key to what countsconnections are the key to what counts

in life, from a happy family to ain life, from a happy family to a

successful business to a sense of innersuccessful business to a sense of inner

peace, even to physical health andpeace, even to physical health andlongevity.longevity.

Human MomentsHuman Moments


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Emotional CompetenceEmotional Competence

For star performance in all jobs,For star performance in all jobs,

in every field, emotionalin every field, emotionalcompetence is twice ascompetence is twice as

important as purely cognitiveimportant as purely cognitive

abilities.abilities.


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THREEMOST DESIRED CAPABILITIES OFTHREEMOST DESIRED CAPABILITIES OFEMPLOYEES:EMPLOYEES:

Communication SkillsCommunication Skills

Interpersonal SkillsInterpersonal Skills InitiativeInitiative


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Good Communicators:Good Communicators:

Are effective in giveAre effective in give--andand--take, registeringtake, registeringemotional cues in attuning their messageemotional cues in attuning their message

Deal with difficult issues straightforwardlyDeal with difficult issues straightforwardly

Listen well, seek mutual understanding,Listen well, seek mutual understanding,and welcome sharing of information fullyand welcome sharing of information fully

Foster open communication and stayFoster open communication and stayreceptive to bad news as well as goodreceptive to bad news as well as good


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The most effective people inThe most effective people in

organizations naturally use theirorganizations naturally use their

emotional radar to sense how othersemotional radar to sense how othersare reacting, and they fineare reacting, and they fine--tune theirtune their

own response to push the interactionown response to push the interaction

in the best direction.in the best direction.Daniel Goleman, Working with Emotional Intelligence, 1998

Interpersonal SkillsInterpersonal Skills


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Those with initiative act beforeThose with initiative act before

being forced to by external events.being forced to by external events.

Those who lack initiative constantlyThose who lack initiative constantly

reactreactto events rather than beingto events rather than being

prepared for them.prepared for them.

InitiativeInitiative


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Whats Below the Waterline Makes theWhats Below the Waterline Makes the

Difference in Performance!Difference in Performance!Necessary for topperformance, but notsufficient

Underlyingbehaviors ofcharacteristicsmore critical to

fit, satisfactionand success

TechnicalCompetencies:Easier to identify

and develop

Behavioral

Competencies:Harder to identifyand develop

Skills(e.g., presentation

delivery)

Knowledge

(e.g., MS-Excel)

Social Role(e.g., Leader)

Self-Concept

(e.g., I am a TeamPlayer)

Traits(e.g., Analytical

Thinking)

Motives(e.g., Drive to

Achieve)


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Star PerformersStar Performers

and the Nineand the NineWork StrategiesWork Strategies


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ShowShow--andand--TellTell

Perspective*Perspective*

SelfSelf--ManagementManagement

CoreCore

Initiative*Initiative*

Cognitive AbilitiesCognitive Abilities

Technical CompetenceTechnical Competence

LeaderLeader

--shipship

TeamTeam--WorkWork

Networking*Networking*

FollowershipFollowership

Organizational SavvyOrganizational Savvy


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InitiativeInitiative

1.1. Manage the white space. Seek outManage the white space. Seek out

responsibility above and beyond theresponsibility above and beyond the

expected job description.expected job description.

2.2. Undertake extra efforts for the benefit ofUndertake extra efforts for the benefit of

coworkers or the larger group.coworkers or the larger group.

3.3. FollowFollow--through to completion (dontthrough to completion (dont

delegate to the boss).delegate to the boss).

Many Work Hard but in the Wrong WaysMany Work Hard but in the Wrong Ways


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PerspectivePerspective

For too many people, ten years ofFor too many people, ten years ofwork experience is merely the firstwork experience is merely the first

years experience repeated ten times;years experience repeated ten times;

there is no learning to move in and outthere is no learning to move in and out

of the basic environment, no leap toof the basic environment, no leap tothe perspective ability that definesthe perspective ability that defines

expertise.expertise.

You need to learn 50,000 pieces ofYou need to learn 50,000 pieces ofinformation to be come an expertinformation to be come an expert


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Seek out learning experiencesSeek out learning experiences

that push your limits of knowledgethat push your limits of knowledge

Make sure you learn from it byMake sure you learn from it by

internalizing patterns and formsinternalizing patterns and forms


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NetworkingNetworking

1.1. Networking can haveNetworking can havedramatic impact on thedramatic impact on the

speed, quality, and quantityspeed, quality, and quantity

of your output.of your output.

2.2. Build a knowledge networkBuild a knowledge networkaa

relationship tree of manyrelationship tree of many

different kinds of peopledifferent kinds of peoplerepresenting many differentrepresenting many different

skills and interests.skills and interests.


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We all have a sense of theWe all have a sense of thetwo ways of being and thetwo ways of being and the

differences between themdifferences between them

Two Ways of BeingTwo Ways of Being


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II--ItIt

Worried about selfWorried about self

ScarcityScarcity--mindedminded

Resents othersResents others

successsuccess

InsecureInsecure Sees others as rivalsSees others as rivals

ControllingControlling

II--YouYou

Interested in othersInterested in others

AbundanceAbundance--mindedminded

Delights in othersDelights in others

successsuccess

Secure, peacefulSecure, peaceful Sees others as friendsSees others as friends

TrustingTrusting


II--It and IIt and I--YouYou


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II--ItIt

ManipulativeManipulative

Concerned withConcerned withquantityquantity

SelfishSelfish

LonelyLonely ReactiveReactive

GuardedGuarded

II--YouYou

SincereSincere

Concerned withConcerned withqualityquality

SharingSharing

SupportiveSupportive SolicitousSolicitous

OpenOpen


II--It and IIt and I--YouYou


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II--ItIt

AnxiousAnxious

SuspiciousSuspicious

FearfulFearful

RigidRigid SelfSelf--centeredcentered

DefensiveDefensive

II--YouYou AssuredAssured

TrustingTrusting

SereneSerene

FlexibleFlexible

OtherOther--centeredcentered

AccommodatingAccommodating


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The following chart illustratesThe following chart illustratesthe perfect correlationthe perfect correlation

between variousbetween various

commonplace accusationscommonplace accusations

that selfthat self--betrayers make andbetrayers make and

the resulting sense they havethe resulting sense they haveof being victimized:of being victimized:


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AccusingAccusing

JudgmentJudgmentIts your fault

Youre not being fair

Our suppliers are unreliable

The instructions werentclear

You insisted on having this kid

Sense ofSense of

BeingBeing

VictimizedVictimizedIm suffering because of you

Im getting cheated

We were prevented from

meeting our production quotas

You made me foul up the job

Now my whole career isgoing to pot


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CHANGE ANDCHANGE AND

HOW WEHOW WE

RE

ACTRE

ACT


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Effects of ChangeEffects of Change

At the individual level, changeAt the individual level, change

can engender emotions andcan engender emotions and

reactions that range from optimismreactions that range from optimism

to fear, anxiety, challenge,to fear, anxiety, challenge,

resistance, ambiguity, energy,resistance, ambiguity, energy,

enthusiasm, helplessness, dread,enthusiasm, helplessness, dread,

motivation, and pessimism.motivation, and pessimism.


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ChangeChange

Change is fundamentally aboutChange is fundamentally aboutfeeling: companies that wantfeeling: companies that wanttheir workers to contribute withtheir workers to contribute withtheir heads and hearts have totheir heads and hearts have toaccept that emotions areaccept that emotions are

essential to the newessential to the newmanagement style .management style .

Jeanie Daniel Duck, Managing Change, The Art of Balance,

(Harvard Business Review on Change)


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To Improve Is to Change; To BeTo Improve Is to Change; To BePerfect Is to Change OftenPerfect Is to Change Often

~Winston Churchill

The issue isnt whether or notThe issue isnt whether or notpeople have negative emotionspeople have negative emotions

[about change]; its how they deal[about change]; its how they deal

with them.with them.Jeanie Daniel Duck, Managing Change, TheArt of Balance, (Harvard Business Review on

Change)


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I believe the single, most significant decision I can

make on a day to day basis, is my choice of attitude.It is more important than my past, my education, my

bankroll, my successes or failures, fame or pain,

what other people think of me or say about me, my

circumstances, or my position. Attitude is that

Single String that keeps me going or cripples my

progress. It alone fuels my fire or assaults my hope.

When my attitudes are right, theres no barrier toohigh, no valley too deep, no dream too extreme, no

challenge too great for me.Charles Swindoll,

Strengthening Your Grip

BuildingRelationshipsofTrust

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