A Key to Your Success

Building Your Emotional Intelligence

HR Segment Head – Safal Group

Stephen Olieka

24 years experience:• Civil Aviation –

Engineer/Curriculum Developer• Telkom Kenya (KCCT - MMU) -

Lecturer• Kenya Airways - Engineer• Safaricom – L&D Officer• Mumias - Capability Dev.

Manager /HR Director

Passionate about:• Environment• Coaching and mentoring• Training in general

Session Overview • Define emotional intelligence and explain why it is

important to your personal and professional success

• Recognize five competencies you can work on to increase your level of emotional intelligence.

• Listen to and employ your emotions to:

– Make better decisions.

– Show you care, and build trust by displaying sensitivity and concern.

– Build relationships and motivate others.

An area of psychological research popularized by Daniel Goldman’s 1995 bestseller, Emotional Intelligence: Why it Can Matter More Than IQ

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (EI)

Daniel Goleman, Ph.D.Working with

Emotional Intelligence

“We are being judged by a new yardstick; not just how smart we are, or by our training and expertise, but also how well we handle ourselves and each other.”

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (EI)

Daniel Goleman, Ph.D.Working with

Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence Characteristics

• The ability to assess and supervise one’s emotions, thoughts, and self.

• To be aware of the emotions of others and of groups.

• To discriminate among emotions and thoughts and use this information to guide future thinking and actions.

Why Emotional Intelligence?

“There is a growing body of research findings that scientifically demonstrates that emotional intelligence predicts how well we perform at home, school and in the workplace.”

Reuven Bar-On, Ph.D.December 16, 2004

Research Findings (TalentSmart)

• People with average IQs outperform those with the highest IQs 70% of the time

• Of all the people studied at work, 90% of top performers have high EQs

• You can be a top performer without emotional intelligence, but the chances are slim

• Emotional intelligence is the “something” in each of us that is a bit intangible.

Definition• Emotional intelligence is the ability to:

– Recognize, understand and manage one’s own emotions

– Recognize, understand and influence other people’s emotions for personal and professional success.

Personal Benefits of EI

Greater career success Stronger personal relationships Increased optimism and confidence Better health

Professional Benefits of EI

Effective leadership skillsImproved communicationLess workplace conflictBetter problem solving skillsIncreased likelihood of promotion

How Does EQ Differ From IQ?

EQ IQ

• Focus - Developing an understanding of and an ability to manage emotions

• Focus – Developing one’s cognitive abilities; more academically oriented

• Can be enhanced throughout one’s life

• Generally thought to be largely established at birth and cannot be enhanced

• Recently understood to be an important predictor of one’s potential for success

• Has been traditionally used to predict potential for one’s success

• Fosters understanding and management of own emotions

• Allows development of needed knowledge base

• Promotes positive relationships • Enables development of technical skills and abilities

• Increases self-motivation and drive • Enables conceptual thinking

Self-Awareness

Self-Control /Management

Self Motivation

Empathy

Social Skills

The Five Essential

Competencies of Emotional

Intelligence

Five Essential Competencies of Emotional Intelligence

• Self-Awareness

• Self-Regulation

• Self-Motivation

• Empathy

• Social Skills

Relate to Ourselves

Relate to Others

The most important EI Knowing one’s emotions, strengths,

weaknesses, drives, values, and goals—and their impact on others

Involves recognizing the relationship between thoughts, feelings and actions

Hallmarks: Self-confidence Realistic self assessment Self-deprecating sense of humor Thirst for constructive criticism

SELF-AWARENESS

“If you understand your own feelings you get a really great handle on how you’re going to interact and perform with others…

So one of the first startingpoints is, ‘what’s going oninside of me?’”

Chuck WolfePresident,

C. J. Wolfe Associates, LLC

Awareness of our own emotional states is the foundation of all the E.I. skills

Take a honest look at yourself, do not let your feelings rule you

Learn to “tune-in” to your emotions – they can give you valid information about your responses to stressful situations

Recognize the importance of emotions even in “technical” fields

PRACTICING SELF-AWARENESS

The ability to control emotions or redirect disruptive impulses and moods

The propensity to suspend judgment – to think before acting

Hallmarks:

Trustworthiness

Integrity

Comfort with ambiguity and change

Thinking before acting, ability to say no

SELF-CONTROL / MANAGEMENT

“If we are in a heightened state of agitation or anger we cannot make good decisions, we cannot reason well.”

Christine CasperCommunication, Motivation

& Management Inc

Sometimes when you are angry with someone, it helps to sit down and think about the problem.

Accept responsibility for choosing your own emotional responses

Learn to “reframe” stressful situations into ones that are challenging

Be aware of, and learn to manage, your own emotional “triggers”

PRACTICING SELF-REGULATION

A passion to work for reasons that go beyond money or status

A propensity to pursue goals with energy and persistence

Willingness to defer immediate success for long-term success

Hallmarks: A passion for the work itself and for new challenges Unflagging energy to improve Optimism in the face of failure

SELF MOTIVATION

“High performers are those who are able to see with some clarity to what degree they are responsible for a setback and to what degree it may be circumstance or other people, and as a result they areable to be more persistent.”

Dr. J.P. Pawliw-FryCo-Director,

Inst. For Health & Human Potential

Recognize that emotions affect your performance

Identify your “explanatory style.” When a setback strikes, resist asking “what’s wrong with me?” Instead, ask “what can I fix?”

Work to achieve your “flow state,” being in the moment with work tasks

Adopt positive self-talkBuild an effective support network

PRACTICING SELF-MOTIVATION

The ability to understand the emotional makeup, wants and needs of other people

Skill in treating people according to their emotional reactions

Hallmarks: Excellence at managing relationships Good listening skills Avoiding stereotyping and judging too

quickly and recognizing others’ feelings

EMPATHY

“If people will stop for a moment and put themselves in another person’s shoes…it will help them modify their own behavior. It will help them develop relationshipswith those people.”

Darryl Grigg, Ed.D.Co-Developer,

American Express Emotional Competence Program

Empathy means recognizing, and responding appropriately to, the emotions of others

By expressing empathy, you also create empathy in others

Realize that emotions impact such measurable goals as productivity and safety

PRACTICING EMPATHY

Managing relationships to move people in desired directions

End result is effective relationships

Hallmarks

Team player, builds and maintain relationships

Help others develop and shine

Expertise in building and leading teams

SOCIAL SKILLS

"And so there's a real pay-off.  The people who will become the leaders, the people who will become the star performers, are the ones who have the strengths in the key emotional intelligence abilities."

Daniel Goleman, Ph.D.Founder,

Emotional Intelligence Services

Research indicates that EI can be improved through learning (Cherniss & Goleman, 1998, Goleman, 1995; Boyatzis, Stubbs & Taylor, 2002).

Tucker et al. (2000) describes how development takes place across 4 important stages:

Building awareness Training transfer and maintenance, and Evaluating change

CAN EI BE LEARNED?

Observe how you react to people; Do you rush to judgement before you know all

the facts?

Do you stereotype?

Look at honestly how you think and interact with people.

Try to put yourself in their place.

Be more open and accepting of other people’s perspectives and needs

HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR EI 1

Look at your work environment; Do you seek attention for accomplishments?

Humility can be a wonderful quality – does not mean you are shy or lack confidence

Give others a chance to shine – put focus on them

Do not worry too much about getting praise for yourself

HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR EI 2

HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR EI 3 Do a self evaluation;

A number of tools available online to do a self evaluation – Queendom.com, Mindtools.com etc.

What are your weaknesses? Are you willing to accept that you are not

perfect? And you could work on these weaknesses to

make yourself a better person? Have the courage to look at yourself honestly

and it could change your life.

Take responsibility for your actions; If you hurt someone’s feelings,

apologize directly – do not ignore what you did or avoid the person

People are usually more willing to forgive and forget if you honestly apologize

HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR EI 4

Examine how your actions affect others – before you take these actions

If your decision will impact others, put yourself in their place

How will they feel if you do this?

Would you want the same experience?

If you must take action, how can you help others deal with the effects?

HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR EI 5

Session Review • Define emotional intelligence and explain why it is

important to your personal and professional success

• Recognize five competencies you can work on to increase your level of emotional intelligence.

• Listen to and employ your emotions to:

– Make better decisions.

– Show you care, and build trust by displaying sensitivity and concern.

– Build relationships and motivate others.

QUESTIONS