Building Relationships with Students

Laura A. Riffel, Ph.D.

Discipline without a relationship leads to rebellion.

Dr. Josh McDowell

Why is it important?

• Three components to building a relationship:

–Touch

–Eye Contact

–Dialogue• Ann Corwin (2008)

Touch

• Fist bump• High five• Hand on shoulder

Eye contact

Students can tell if you are looking at them or through them. Make sure you are looking at them.

Dialogue

• Don’t put any value on what you say. Just remark about things that have no value.– I see you got a new backpack.– I noticed you like basketball.– I saw your mom dropped you off this

morning.• Don’t mention anything bad that happened

previously or tell them you “love” something about them like their haircut. Just label things you see.

Bhaerman and Kopp (1988)

• A student is less likely to drop out of high school if an adult in the school knows and uses their name in a positive way. It is best if this adult is not one of their teachers.

To what they have to say and listen to what they aren’t saying.