Building Emotional in the Workplace · Online at University of Texas, Austin, search on “Managing...

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Building Emotional Resilience in the Workplace

MASBOFebruary 8, 2013

Karen D. Lloyd, PhD, LP

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Emotional Resilience is a Mindset & a Skill Set


COPING is not THRIVING


Positive Psychology

• Explosion of research from starting in 1990 with a book by Martin Seligman PhD, Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life

• Prior to this the field of psychology focused on understanding and treating mental illness

• Now an active branch of psychology focuses on research regarding emotional wellbeing, resilience,

peak performance and happiness

• These concepts are included in sports psychology, executive coaching, counseling and therapy


Research on Healthy Lifestyle

• Institute for Clinical Systems Improvement (ICSI.org) reviews research and provides guidelines for primary care physicians.

• One guideline is on Healthy Lifestyle• Components are:

– Increased physical activity– Improved nutrition– Decreased tobacco use and exposure– Decreased hazardous / harmful alcohol use– Practice positive thinking (added in 2011)


Your Physical Self & Your Mental Self

STAMINA • Physical health and stamina for leadership

– Nutrition– Exercise– Sleep– Preventive health– Relaxation

VITALITY • Cognitive / emotional vitality for leadership

– Mental focus– Growth mindset– Emotional availability – Personal world view


Physiological

Safety

Esteem

Social

Self Actualization

Highly Effective,Peak Performance,Thriving Self Confidence,

Self Respect,Respect of

Others

Leading,Influencing,Inspiring,

Maslow’s Hierarchy

Typical health & wellness

focus


Thrive: Quick Checklist

Physiological• Healthy Nutrition

– Fruits and Vegetables– Hydration– Portion control

• Regular Exercise– 3 times per week

• Walking, biking, jogging• Stretching

Adequate Sleep– 7‐8 hours

• Preventive Health – Screenings and immunizations

• Relaxation– Your established methods

Value of novelty– Diversion / distraction / renewing connections / mastery


Thrive: Quick Checklist

Safety• Freedom from:

– Natural disasters– Violence– Financial hardship– Accidents and injuries– Historical trauma (PTSD)

• Possessing:– Dependable good health– Safety for those we care about and ourselves


Our Focus: 3 Higher Level Needs

• Personal Level– Self Confidence– Self Respect– Respect of Others

• Social Setting– Leading– Influencing– Inspiring

• Peak Performance– Thriving– Creative Problem Solving– Self actualization

All of these are vulnerable to

negative self‐talk


The Role of Negative Self‐Talk

• Subtle• Pervasive• Prevalent

• Rather than being immune, even high achievers may be at risk


Managing Stress

• At some moments are you looking

composed but mentally

you are

clinching your fists or your teeth?


Managing Stress: A Key to Leadership Effectiveness

1. We all

have stress and we always will

2. We all

have negative self‐talk

3. We all add

to our own stress

with our own negative

self‐talk

4. Negative self‐talk can be changed

through awareness

and practice

5. Practicing “Healthy Thinking”

for 10‐14 days:

– reduces stress

– frees us up for creative problem solving

– increases our interpersonal & leadership effectiveness


We All Have Stress

Types of Stress

• Negative vs. positive –Unanticipated or unpleasant events–Desired or pleasant events

• Different circumstances, but similar stress responses


•Promotion or Demotion

•Change in Work Roles

•Changing Work Demands


Marriage

Divorce


Change is Difficult


Coping with Stress

• We all have stress and always will

• Both positive and negative events can be stressful

• We need to reduce negative self‐talk to avoid adding

to our own stress

• Methods of coping with stress are either adaptive or maladaptive


Adaptive or Maladaptive Coping?


What Drives Maladaptive Coping?

Our own negative self‐talk…• Negative self‐talk:

– Interferes with problem solving

– Makes interpersonal communication difficult

– Makes us anxious, irritable, sad, angry, disgusted or hopeless

• These emotions prompt us to engage in maladaptive coping


Why is Negative Self‐Talk Important?

• Research shows that

what

we think has a major impact on how

we feel.

• Under stress we generally experience negative self‐talk.

• Negative self‐talk is just a habit

but it creates more

stress.


Negative Self‐Talk

• Negative self‐talk increases stress • Consider: Is negative self‐talk like being your

own bully?• Sometimes negative self‐talk is actually

verbalized–Can be directed toward yourself or others

• With negative self‐talk 20‐50 times daily, is it any wonder many of us feel at times

demoralized, defeated, anxious or upset?


Negative Self‐Talk

• I must be perfect.• I never

get acknowledged.

• This situation is intolerable!• It’s always my

fault.

• It’s not fair! It shouldn’t be this way!• I will never try that again!• He’s so perfect! I’ll never measure up.• I hate it!• There is just no way to deal with this!


We Create Our Own World View

Why do we have “unhealthy”

thinking and negative self‐talk?

• We build assumptions or beliefs about the world– So ingrained they become unconscious– Most of our assumptions are in place by age 5

• We should be careful what we think – Unconsciously search in order to justify our

assumptions– Repeating certain things to ourselves, we in effect

“self‐hypnotize.”

We create

“self‐fulfilling prophecies.”


Unhealthy Thinking Aaron Beck, MD popularized by David Burns, MD in "The Feeling Good Handbook".

1. All or nothing thinking• Thinking of things in absolute terms,

like "always", "every", "never”• Few aspects of human behavior are

so absolute2. Overgeneralization

• Taking isolated cases and using them to make wide generalizations.


Unhealthy Thinking

3.

Mental filter• Focusing almost exclusively on

certain, usually negative or upsetting, aspects of an event while ignoring other positive aspects

4. Disqualifying the positive • Continually deemphasizing or

"shooting down" positive experiences for arbitrary, ad hoc reasons.


Unhealthy Thinking

5.

Jumping to conclusions• Drawing conclusions from little or no

evidence.• Two specific subtypes:

Mind reading -

Assuming special knowledge of the intentions or thoughts of others.

Fortune telling -

Exaggerating how things will turn out before they happen.


Unhealthy Thinking

6.

Magnification and minimization • Distorted thinking that twists facts • Objectivity is lost• Exaggerating others’

positive traits

and magnifying your own negatives 7.

Emotional reasoning

• Decisions based on intuitions or personal feeling rather than an objective facts and evidence


Unhealthy Thinking

8. Should statements • Thoughts focused on "should"

or "ought to be" rather than reality• Having rigid rules which

"always apply" no matter what the circumstances


Unhealthy Thinking

9.

Labeling and mislabeling • Explaining behaviors or events, merely

by naming them• Labels seem absolute and unalterable• “Loser, bossy, wishy-washy, shy,

perfect, cheater”10.Personalization

• Attributing personal responsibility for events over which you have no control

• Magical thinking


Healthy Thinking

Upsetting event self‐talk (usually negative)

emotional response (usually negative)

• Watch (what you say to yourself)

• Check (to see if it is literally

true)

• Correct

(substitute a true, fair statement)


Let’s Practice


Resources


https://ixconversations.healthwise.net/HealthPartners/name/positivethinking.htm

https://ixconversations.healthwise.net/HealthPartners/name/positivethinking.htm


Other Resources

1.

Burns, David (1980 & 1999) Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, Avon Books.2.

Ellis, Albert (2001). Overcoming Destructive Beliefs, Feelings, & Behaviors: New Directions for Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy. Prometheus Books.

3.

Dryden W., & Neenan M. (2003). Essential Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy. Wiley. 4.

Ellis, Albert. (1994). Reason & Emotion In Psychotherapy, Revised & Updated. Secaucus, NJ: Carol Publishing Group

5.

Ellis, A. (2001). Feeling better, getting better, staying better. Impact Publishers 6.

Ellis, Albert (2003). Early theories & practices of rational emotive behavior theory & how they have been augmented & revised during the last three decades. Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cognitive-Behavior Therapy, 21(3/4)

7.

Lyons, L. C., & Woods, P. J. (1991). The efficacy of rational-emotive therapy: A quantitative review of the outcome research. Clinical Psychology Review, 11, 357-369.

8.

Colin Feltham (ed) (1997). Which Psychotherapy?: Leading Exponents Explain Their Differences. SAGE

9.

Cooper M. (2008). Essential Research Findings in Counseling & Psychotherapy. Sage. 10.

David D. et al. (2005). A synopsis of rational-emotive behavior therapy: Fundamental & applied research. Journal of rational-emotive & cognitive-behavior therapy 2005, vol. 23

11.

Ellis A., Abrams M. & Abrams L. (2008). Theories of Personality.

Sage Press 12.

Online at WebMD, search on “Manage Stress”13.

Online at University of Texas, Austin, search on “Managing Stress.”

(Especially good for college students)

14.

Online at Yahoo, search on “Health”

and then “Stress Management”

(content from Healthwise)


Personal Plan‐‐‐Getting Started

1. Do you want to work by yourself?• Or get a colleague, friend or spouse to

work with you?

2. Do you want more background?• Get a book for more in‐depth

information

3. Use the online virtual coach

• Positive Thinking


Personal Development Plan

My “favorite” negative self-talk phrases: ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________More accurate statements: ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________My Healthy Thinking practice plan:____________________________________________________________________________________________________________


No Benefits Unless You Put this Info into Practice


Questions &

Comments?

Building Emotional in the Workplace · Online at University of Texas, Austin, search on “Managing...

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