Building Blocks for parenting

Janet Jacobson

My background

• 4 kids• Came to Bear Creek16 years ago• Been teaching for last 15 years• Home schooled them for 9 years• Involved in sports, play groups,

mops, Bible studies, youth groups, and other groups for their development

• Family is very important to me

Our calling

• I believe our greatest calling in this life is the calling to be a parent. We all come to this role from different directions, but it is the greatest gift God can offer us.

• Greater than our vocation, our financial security, our education or status. After our relationship with God, our relationship with our children is most important.

• “children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward…how blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them!” Psalm 127:3

• “A wise woman builds her house” Proverbs 14:1

I’m so glad I ….

• Schedules, routines, chores• meals / lunches/breakfasts• Discipline, good manners• Communication/presence• Family times• Traditions• Scripture and spiritual life • …GRACE for myself and everyone else

Schedules, routines, chores

• Babies thrive by experiencing routine. It helps establish discipline and security.

• Naptime, meal time, nighttime routine, etc (try to avoid overscheduling). It sets seeds of contentment and learning to play creatively.

• Natural segue into chores• Chore chart (try to avoid external

prizes)• Sets seeds to being

responsible/independent

Meals / lunches/breakfast

• Stats on families who eat dinner together• Perfect opportunity to connect, listen, ask

questions that encourage reflection (high/low of the day, older kids can reflect on conversation starters, etc)

• Lunches – big deal to my boys! Shows care and concern for health, do it together, do some the night before, sandwiches in the morning.

• Breakfast – most important meal!

Discipline/good manners• “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and love, and

discipline” ~II Tim 1:7• Discipline is for our good and God’s glory• Start narrow, as they grow we can get broader• One form of discipline is good manners. Manners glorify God

and respect people. Manners start with teaching/training fear of the Lord and His ways. Fruit: words, actions, attitudes

• Self-control: delayed gratification, over-spending, eating whatever we want, toys, clothes, etc. we need to model true contentment and good stewardship

• Lays foundation for discipline in later years (chores, homework, work, relationships)

• Discipline should always be done in private, with respect, and never in anger

Communication/presence

• “your presence gives them a greater sense of security than almost anything else you can offer them” p. 13

• The world pulls at us from all directions. They must know that they are the priority.

• Start early, when they’re little. We model communication and honesty. They pick up on what you say without your words.

• Children crave our presence, not the things we can offer them. We cannot get moments back.

• Keep talking with them. They need/want your input (even if they act like they don’t).

* Talking and sharing communicates “you are important to me” and “I want to know how you feel about this”

• By starting early, and setting the seeds of communication and presence, it makes it natural for them to share with you when they are older

• When they’re older, they don’t want to talk as much (room, grunts) but keep the routine of mealtimes and family times.

• As kids move through stages, our goal should be to move from control to influence.

Family times

• Activities, sports, and even friends will come and go – but family doesn’t. Guard your times!

• Be intentional about it: meal times, game nights, pizza/movie nights, work days, pick from a jar, delegate dinner jobs, etc.

• Support each member’s sporting events, special occasions, etc.

• Start young with spiritual training – make it real and make it regular. When they’re older it makes it easier to tackle issues with the Lord.

Traditions

• Fun! Celebrate the joy of being a family• First fall fire • Thanksgiving: box, delegate food, favorite thing

for the table• Christmas: baby Jesus mangers, advent treasure

box, services/meal traditions, advent calendars (different kinds) nativity sets

• New Years: flip through the calendar• Valentines Day: heart pancakes, love notes• Easter: Easter egg symbols, sedar dinner

Scripture/spiritual life

• Start early!• Prayer: model it, everything, natural,

Ebenezer stones• Scripture memory: charts• Read Bible stories• Family times

GRACE

• Grace for you, for today, for now! Allow yourself to learn

• Grace for your family members – it’s through grace that people see Christ.

• It’s about giving and receiving grace• Time in Bible study• Time with like-minded moms who knew how to

give and receive grace. I saw it modeled.• ENJOY your sweet kids! They’re a gift from God.