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UNSW COMSOC

Editorial

Contents

Publications Directors:

Alarice Thio Raymond Leea.thio@unswcomsoc.com r.lee@unswcomsoc.com

Publications Team:

Katherine Choo Leslie Wong

Shirley Weng Tiffany So

Alarice Thio + Raymond Lee

I’d love to write an opening editorial with enthusiasm. I really do. But that’s just impossible at the moment. As much as we’d love you guys to hold this copy of Comunieco with unparalleled joy and excitement, the reality is, the fact you’re reading this means Semester 2 2007 has offi cially begun. I don’t know about you but those last fews words sound like all hell’s gonna break lose. Students suffering from long holiday deprivitus are set to return to unleash their heavy and infectious symptoms into the campus jungle like never before. Come on seriously, since when can a couple

of weeks be labelled as “Holidays”? The last time I digged through the Oxford dictionary, “Holidays” should at least be 2-3 months. But anyhow, I don’t have enough cash to sue the uni, so there’s nothing much we can do at the moment really. Anyway...As the highlight of this month’s issue, we’ve been able to scramble a couple of...um...intriguing COMSOC director profi les for you guys to scrutinize through those tedious fi rst lectures. Hopefully the riveting content will bring an auspicious start to the new semester. Ciao.

THE COMMONER

I’m Confi dent...Are You?

VERBAL DIARRHOEA

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WHATS HOT & WHATS NOT9

Do You Suffer Chronic Laziness?

COMSOC DIRECTOR PROFILES4

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Premier Sponsors of COMSOC

Major Sponsors

Affi liate Sponsors

THE BIG PAYOUT1414

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COMSOC COMSOC DIRECTOR DIRECTOR PROFILESPROFILES

There is a legend in UNSW history that identifi es those affi liated with COMSOC to be the most irresistable people on campus, with personalities to boot. To save Kensington from a salivation overfl ow, the explicit details of these members were never presented to the public. Til now. Some crazy, daring person went the ultimate distance to steal the profi les of the COMSOC Directors, coming away with the most intriguing six, and somehow these ended up in the offi cial COMSOC publication. Yes, the world is, a very strange place.

Young, incredibly handsome and brilliant man looking for COMSOC Volunteers a date.

I enjoy long walks around UNSW postering for COMSOC, and watching the sunset while mind-ing the COMSOC stall. My favourite past-times including posting on the COMSOC forums, going on COMSOC camps and going to COMSOC dance parties. My favourite hang-out is the COMSOC offi ce.

I am looking for someone who shares my diverse interests, and is dedicated and hard-working. My ideal partner would enjoy holding hands under the table at COMSOC meetings, and intimate late nights administrating the COMSOC website.

Visit www.unswcomsoc.com to be recruited date me.

Non-Commerce students and creepy old men need not apply.

CHAIRPERSON:CHAIRPERSON:

ADAM DONGADAM DONG

Being at uni for over a year has taught me the following things:

1. No matter how fi t you think you are, the stairs to upper campus will prove you wrong.

2. Celebrating too much on a Saturday night leaves you incapacitated on Sunday, which almost guarantees you will be completely unprepared for the quiz on Monday morning.

3. Overall, uni life is great. If you ever have to endure a stint of full-time work, you will come to embrace uni life with the kind of enthusiasm a drowning man would show for a fl oatie.

4. COMSOC is great. Except when you are woken by a phone call at 4am, and asked to send in an about-me piece. Immediately. You say you only got to bed two hours ago. The response is unsympathetic. You say you need to get up early for a 8am lecture. The response is unsympathetic. You struggle to your computer, blink at the monitor and attempt to string together a coherent sentence or two – only to come to the sad conclusion that when one would give a vital organ to be allowed to collapse on the nearest fl at surface capable of supporting one’s weight, one is unable churn out writing with any entertainment value.

5. The vending machine at the Blockhouse sells Pocky.

VICE-PRESIDENT:VICE-PRESIDENT:(EXTERNAL)(EXTERNAL)

CINDY WEICINDY WEI

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* Product Name: David Xu

* Product Description: University student – Commerce style * Dimensions(WxDxH): 55cm x 25cm x 177cm * Weight: 72 kg * Optical Status: Mildly hyperopic * Operating Modes: Sarcastic, Lame, Studious, Shy, Cuddly (compatible with girlfriend OS only) * Accessories: Movies, Novels, Poker, Youtube * Focal Length: 0 min – 15 min (to increase, refer to supported batteries) * Coolness: Not available in this model. Please see you retailer for other products. * Supported Batteries: Caffeine, Taurine * Price: Free (plus postage & handling)

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STREASURER:TREASURER:

DAVID XUDAVID XU

10 Things I Hate About You:

1. I hate the way that you have now made me utterly sleep deprived 2. I hate the fact that I have a last minute assignment due tomorrow morning that’s worth 20% 3. I hate the fact that my neck now hurts from working at Coles 4. I hate how anime comes out at the rate of one episode per week 5. I hate how all the good manga series are over 20 volumes long 6. I hate how the iced green tea chiller from Gloria Jeans has chunks of ice at the bottom 7. I hate how the queue for coffee is always unbelievably long 8. I hate how creepy crawly things always fi nd a way into the house 9. I hate Cityrail and how it always manages to make me late 10. I hate how this “10 things I hate about you” piece turned into a “10 things about me” piece

HR DIRECTOR:HR DIRECTOR:

SHARON NGSHARON NG

Let me tell you a few things about myself.

First of all, I see myself as being very easy going1. I pride myself in being a well rounded2 individual who loves reading3 and loves sports4. Nevertheless, my friends say I’m extremely down to earth5.

My parents often boast about the fact that I’m independent-minded6 and spe-cial7. I have always been self-confi dent8 and I thank my parents for that, who listen to whatever I have to say. That’s why I’ve learnt to be a good listener9.

People say I’m a very funny girl10. My ex-boyfriend once told me that was what he liked most about me. He left me though. He said it was because I was too eager to help others11 and that I love the outdoors12 (he was a boring law student).

Notes:1 Easy going: I’m assertively aggressive and can be quite lazy at times.2 Well rounded: Nothing I am really good at comes to mind right now.3 Loves reading: I usually spend the day reading trashy magazines.4 Loves sports: My favourite pastime is watching Ferrero play Roddick in the 2003 US Open Final.5 Down to earth: I will not speak to you if you are smart, pretty or successful. You make me feel inadequate.6 Independent-minded: I’m very stubborn so you better not stand in my way.7 Special: There’s something weird about me that makes me different to others. I prefer not to disclose why.8 Self-confi dent: I am arrogant. Spoilt. A control freak. A dominatrix as they say.9 Good listener: When I fi nd what you’re talking about is really boring, I do a great job pretending to be interested.10 A very funny girl: not funny.11 Eager to help others: I’m quite nosy. I like to keep updated with people’s lives.12 Love the outdoors: I only do things that happen in the outdoors. Say we start dating, get married and have two kids, I won’t buy the groceries, do the laundry or help the kids with their homework because those things don’t happen in the outdoors.

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CAREERS DIRECTOR:CAREERS DIRECTOR:

KAREM TAMKAREM TAM

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WHATS HOT WHATS NOT

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- Gloves - coz it’s cold godamnit.

- Grey - bar the anatomy.

- Flat boots - give those stilettos a break in winter.

- Assignments - blah!

- People on sugar highs.

- The latest outbreak of the Flu.

THE

RIDDLER

Big Jim, while on holidays away from UNSW, was enjoying a relaxing afternoon with his parents in the Australian outback.

Observing the enchanting scenery through his window, the sweet tranquily slowly brought him to sleep.

Yet, after only a mere few minutes of sleep, Big Jim woke up and was shocked to discover that the scenery through the window was completely different to that which he saw before his short nap. He was staring through the same window.

How is this possible?

(Answer in next issue...)

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Answer to Last Issue:THE LITTLE SISTER WANTED TO SEE THE MAN AGAIN.

CAREERS DIRECTOR:CAREERS DIRECTOR:

ALEX CHEUNG ALEX CHEUNG Alex is a big fan of martial arts, Bruce Lee, Muay Thai, K-1, and Tyson are all his favorites. Unfortunately, some people align martial arts to violence, and Alex has on more than one occasion been accused of having an unhealthy obsession with violence... He doesn’t (he thinks, at least), though he admits that he found “Saw III” very invigorating...

In fact, Alex is a kind person, he loves (to eat) animals. He recently picked up the hobby of fi shing, and his latest visit to Balmoral Beach proves that he loves animals. Alex’s love for animals (marine especially) went almost as far as doing Marine Science as a degree, but fortunately (or unfortunately), he chose Commerce/Law instead, so he gets the pleasure of squeezing every bit of his creativity writing about himself at 2am on a Sunday night.

Lastly, Alex loves COMSOC, but regrets that he is not the Token FOB in the team.

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““I’m Confident….Are You?”I’m Confident….Are You?”

Consumer confi dence has been measured at record level highs and has sparked a debate on whether this would create a large backlash in the future as the Reserve Bank of Australia is predicted to take a neutral stance during the election year.

Consumer confi dence has been the highest it’s been in

about 30 years ac-cording to the Westpac-Melbourne Institute consumer sentiment index. Largely due to low rates of unem-ployment, a strong Aussie dollar and strong confi dence that interest rates will remain on hold for the rest of the year.

While the government’s expan-sionary budget (with its recent tax cuts) contributing to the rise in consumer sentiment, the strong performance of the Aus-tralian share-market was another

important factor all leading to a very strong market economy.

Yet, strangely, with all these fi gures supporting the govern-ment’s decisions, Labor is often polled in front of the Coalition for the next election.

Underlying issues show that increased infl ation levels are

making their mark on many employ-ees work-ing within retail and hospitality industries.

With Work Choices claiming to have cre-

ated more jobs, many workers, fi nd that their wages are barely keeping up with infl ation levels.

Yet recent fi gures have shown declining rates of underlying infl ation and controlled wage growth.

With consumer spending in the Australian economy reaching

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“ ...a strong Aussie dollar and strong con-fidence that interest rates will remain on hold for the rest of the year... ”

such high levels, it could be pre-dicted that the Reserve Bank of Australia would tighten Monetary Policy in an effort to curb the economy.

With many people believing that this would be delayed until after the election year, what would the effect be on Australia’s economy?

If the Reserve Bank raises interest rates next year, this may result in a large backlash for the Australian share market and consumer confi -dence will likely follow suit.

So would the likely fi x to the problem be to raise interest rates now?

Of course not, its election year.

Tiffany’s cool. She knows it. Tell her you know it too.

comunieco@unswcomsoc.com

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““Do You Suffer Chronic Do You Suffer Chronic Laziness?”Laziness?”

As I glance at my computer screen too lethargic to think of any subject worthy of writing about, it came to me that what better way to commemorate my half ass job than to write an entire article about how awesome it is to be lazy. Hence, I present:

The perks of one’s indolence:

1. Being lazy, especially when it comes to one’s room, often has its perks. Although people who are too lazy to clean their rooms often get frustrated with the annoying clutter and inability to reach their bed without stepping on a mountain of papers, clothes and the often foreign organism, the messiness and clutter of an unclean room can be quite soothing. It symbolises life, a place that has been lived, and provides a much calmer atmosphere than the controlled environment of a clean room.

2. “Organised” mess that results from one’s laziness to put things away is one of the best ways to cope with the mountain of materials that build up during times of tedious study, in which piles of lecture notes and tutorial questions fi nd no better place like home than a nice spot on the

carpet. Things are easier to fi nd, and often, fun arises as one attempt to manoeuver through these piles, in which each clutter

poses as an obstacle to get to certain vicinities of your room. Each step is thus an adventure.

3. Being lazy when it comes to room cleanliness allows the shift in responsibility from the occupant of the room to other occupants of the household. This may result from an absolute disgust upon sight or smell of the untidy room. And hence, as a result, those who are lazy often

“ ... those who are lazy often come home to a nice surprise and find that their room is no longer messy... ”

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come home to a nice surprise and fi nd that their room is no longer messy; that is, until they can’t fi nd something and everything goes back to the way it was. However, this perk may apply only to those who live with family or extremely annoying fl at mates.

4. Lazy people are fed better as people around them tend to harvest a sense of responsibility to keep the lazy one from malnutrition. This results from the lazy one’s lack of motivation to go through the trouble of searching and processing food for consumption. Hence, food is often brought to the sluggish. However, this perk once again may only apply to certain people, and contains a massive drawback in that being well fed; the lazy one may be pushed into acts involving the use of energy, like walking, which is a most unnecessary form of exercise.

Thus, there are often more pros than cons when the art of being lazy is perfected around certain circumstances, and it is a trait that we should harvest and treasure for all of eternity.

Shirley prefers Woolies over Coles. Do you?

comunieco@unswcomsoc.com

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Customers From Hell: Gnawing at the Tip of the Ice Berg.

The Café Edition.

Ah, regulars. The old couple who come in for chocolate milkshakes everyday, the guy who always tips 20 cents (no more, no less) and the lady who wears the same pumpkin coloured tunic every single time she pops in. God bless them. And then there are the CFH, there is no escaping these (if the word “service” exists anywhere in your job description, that is).

You want coffee? Two things:(1) Don’t make me stress over your stupidity.

Customer: Excuse me!Waitress: Is everything okay?C: No, I asked for a cappuccino. Look at what you gave me!W: …sorry, did you want skim milk?C: NO! I don’t want milk! I never asked for milk in my coffee! I’m not stupid you know, I can taste it! W: Would you like a long black? C: Just don’t put milk in my coffee. You’re going to make me another one free of charge right?W: Sure. Sorry about that. (2 minutes later)W: Here’s your long black.C: …where’s the foam?W: Sorry?C: Where is the foam? I wanted a cappuccino! This has no foam! God, can’t you do anything right?Right about now I’m wishing you would just storm out – quickly. So I can go to the back and bitch about you in peace.

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(2) I’m 100% sure it isn’t cow’s milk, okay?

Waiter: Soy decaf latte?Customer: Yes – wait! Are you sure this is soy?W: Yes, decaf soy latte.C: Because I’m allergic to dairy. I could die if I have too much. Just wait there – (sniff sniff, little sip) - oh, its okay, you can go.Really, thanks for the theatrics but maybe it wouldn’t have been so comical if you didn’t have a half eaten ham and cheese melt in front of you.

Zero common sense? Zero sympathy.You come with a bunch of friends at 12:30pm expecting to be seated right away. The place is packed; with people who have made reservations might I add. This surprises you. You demand I make a table. I cannot kick people out half way through their meal. This confuses you and slowly starts to anger you. Some people leave, I usher in new arrivals because they have reservations. You explode in my face, cuss and complain loudly to your friends. I have zero sympathy for you. I have zero desire to help you. I do, however, have an imaginary bowling ball in my hand I wish to pound continuously into your face. Maybe if your meal costs $2000.Waitress: That comes to $56.35 – or would you like to pay separately?Customer: Nah. I’m gonna pay for everything and I’ll pay cash alright?W: Sure.C: But you’ll do me a better price, cool?W: Sorry?C: I’m paying you in cash.W: Oh…no, sorry, we don’t do that here.C: Oh what? Look, I’ll just give you $50, okay? I’m in a rush. W: No, sorry. I can’t do that. C: That’s just so (bleep) stupid! Please remember: We are not The Good Guys.

I am so underpaid.

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