Breakup Medicine - 10 Creative Exercises for Getting Over a Breakup

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  • 1. Breakup Medicine10 Exercises for Healing your Heart

2. Breakup Medicine10 Exercises for Healing your Heart(A free preview version. Full version has 21 exercises.)Matjaz Trontelj2013, All rights reserved.www.breakupmedicine.comAll photos except the Earth image by D Sharon Pruitt.Earth image by NASA. 3. ContentsExercises 7Focus on the path, not on the obstacle. 8Find the magic hidden in your senses. 10You dont need a reason to love yourself. 12Let confusion guide you. 14You will survive. No, strike that! You will thrive! 16You are the hero in this movie. 18OMG! I did something stupid! 20Your self-worth doesnt depend on others. 22Everyone deserves happiness except you! 24Dont poison your own soup 26Action Tips 29About the iPhone & iPad App 32 4. Hi, there!First of all, Im truly sorry that you are going through dicult times!But you should know one thingno matter how hard the situationis right nowyou will be ok. You will come out of this stronger andwiser.How do I know?It is clear that you are not the type person to wallow in despair, oryou would never have found this book. You are actively searchingfor a solution, for ways to grow from this experience.Which brings us to the book.It has 21 exercises that will help you heal your heart.Healing a broken heart can only be done by using the healingpowers of the heart: loving yourself, becoming friends with youremotions, connecting with nature, gratefulness, and kicking yourselfin the butt when you become too patheticEach exercise gives you something to think about; some also giveyou something to do. Most of them involve writting emails to4 5. yourself. Keep these emails unopend in your inbox and read themlater, for example the next day. These emails also serve as a journal.At the end of the book are a couple of pages with action tips.Action tips are suggestions for activities that you can do to makeyou feel better. A lot of tips involve hanging out with your friendsand family, having fun as well as ridding your life of clutter andorganizing your life.Best way to choose an action tip is to close your eyes and randomlypoint your finger at one.Daily exercises and action tips work in balance. Exercises arefocused inward, while suggested actions help you take your mind othe breakup and gain control of your life through physical and socialactivity.This book is just one piece in the mosaic of your recovery andit doesnt cover everything. It is a great addition to the supportprovided by your friends and family, to taking care of your body,socializing, pursuing your hobbies and seeking professional help ifyou need it.5 6. We also have a iPhone and iPad mobile app with all the exercisesand action tips. The app gives you daily assignments and it lets youcreate posters with your own photos and messages of recovery orwith your own notes. Check it out!Wish you a speedy bounce-back!Matjazp.s. I would love to hear from you about your experience with thisbook and the mobile app. What worked for you? What didnt?Together we can make them even better!p.s.s. These exercises are based on the methods I use in my lifewhen dicult times hit. I thought they might be useful to others aswell. Many of them can be used even without a breakup :)6 7. 10 Exercises 8. Focus on the path,not on the obstacle.Exercise 1 9. Despite all the uncertainty in your life right now,a couple of things are clear:1. You will be ok.2. It will take time.You have the time you need.Be patient. You cant solve all your problems at once.Do today whatever feels comfortable, delegate the restto the future you.Amazing opportunities are waiting for you.Youll change and grow.The exciting new chapter of your life just began.Every day brings something new.Remember, it is break UP, not break DOWN.TO DO: Write an Ill be fine email to yourself. And mention why.Not convinced? Just make up some fun scenarios: Ill be finebecause space fairies will visit me one day and give me a magicmassage. Btw, your exs name should not be mentioned in thisstory.9 10. Find the magic hiddenin your senses.Exercise 2 11. Fighting against unwanted thoughts is like trying to subdue wavesby jumping in the water. They only get stronger. The more you try tostop thinking about your ex, the harder it becomes. Stop trying. Justleave those same old boring thoughts as they are. They dont deserveyour attention.At the same time bring more attention to sensations in your body.Repetitive thinking about your ex cant compare to the magichidden in your senses.Feel the freshness of licking an ice-cream scoop, the playfulness oftickling your bare foot, the wind swirling through your hair.Become a curious explorer Oh, I wonder how that would feel!Then go ahead and try it.TO DO: Look around yourself; find something you could explore.Open the fridge and feel the wave of coldness embracing your body.Or go outside and walk barefoot on grass. Write an email to yourselfabout it.11 12. You dont need a reasonto love yourself.Exercise 3 13. I love myself, because Stop. Thats blackmail, not love!I love myself. No questions asked.TO DO:A. Stand in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eyes and say: Ilove you. Do it at least eight times per day.B. Browse through photos of yourself, from the time you were acute kid till now. Forget that this is you. With kindness observe thisunique human being, yearning for happiness with every breath heor she takes, deserving love.Again, write an email to yourself as a reminder. Leave it at the top ofthe inbox, unopened for a couple of days.13 14. Let confusion guide you.Exercise 4 15. Should I call him? Or not? Should we get back together? Should westay apart?Confusion is a clear sign that you should not do the thing you areconfused about. Dont call your ex. Dont get back together.Confusion is telling you that you should stick with the choices youmade.Once you get back on your feet, once your heart and mind are clear,you can re-evaluate everything. Confusion is telling you to wait untilthen. Trust it.TO DO: Whenever you feel the pressure to decide something butcant think clearly about it write an email to the future you: DearFuture , here are a couple of things that are botheringme. Please take care of them when you can And then relax youpassed the dicult task to someone else.Once your confusion clears away you can even reply to these emails.15 16. You will survive. No, strikethat! You will thrive!Exercise 5 17. You had your life before you met her. You were laughing andplaying (you were a kid once, right?).You have your life now, after she is gone. You will laugh again, soon.And re-learn how to play, in case you forgot.Grass rests under the heavy snow cover in winter. In spring it growsagain, nourished by the water of melted snow. Nature is resilient,indestructible. If grass can do it, so will you!TO DO: Go outside for a walk; find an example of this force ofnature. Connect with it. Write to yourself about it.17 18. You are the hero in thismovie.Exercise 6 19. This is your life. Its not about your ex. Its about you.Forget about making him suer less. You are not the person whocan help with that. Forget about making him suer more. He willreap the consequences of his actions regardless of what you do.The plane youre ying in lost cabin pressure and oxygen maskshave dropped from the ceiling. Put the mask on your face first.Check if it is working. Only then you can start helping others.Now is the time you take care of yourself. Remember, being selfishis good at this point.TO DO: Write an email to yourself about all the dierent ways youneed to take care of yourself. And about how you WILL do that. Ineed to keep my body healthy and strong. Ill go for a walk everyday. Oh, and Ill invite one of my friends to join me. And Ill startmaking head stands again. Once I was so good at it19 20. OMG! I did somethingstupid!Exercise 7 21. Really?! Join the club!What is done is done. Life has no Undo function fortunately! It ismuch more interesting this way.TO DO:The first step: Stop worrying. Imagine looking at the Earth fromspace. You are just a tiny dot! Your mistakes cant even be seen fromup there. So, relax. The world will not end because of your mistake.The second step: Can you do something to make things better? Ifyou yelled at your mom, apologize to her. If you slept with your ex,just let it go. It happens.The third step: What can you learn from this? Do you need to paymore attention to something? How will you avoid repeating thesame mistake?21 22. Your self-worth doesntdepend on others.Exercise 8 23. Did she ever really love me?It doesnt matter now. If she didnt it is her loss. You can only beresponsible for what you do; for being honest with your feelings.Dont let others decide your worth. Be yourself. Be free.TO DO: Think about all the times in the past when you worriedabout what others think of you; of all the times when you were notyourself because of it. Doesnt it all look silly now, looking back?After all, we are all the same, just human beings. Nobodys opinionis any more valuable than your own.Bring this insight into the present moment is something similargoing on right now? The time for you to be yourself, to be free, isright NOW. You wont get any other chance.23 24. Everyone deserveshappiness except you!Exercise 9 25. Just kidding. You are not that special. :)The purpose of life is to be happy. What does that mean to you?TO DO: Send an email to yourself: What is happiness for you? Andthen add I deserve to... Feel stuck? Just start with simple stu,like I deserve a scoop of ice-cream! I deserve to have an umbrellawhen its raining...25 26. Dont poison your ownsoupExercise 10 27. with hatred and bitterness.Perhaps you are hurt and angry. It is natural and normal to beupset. Dont try to subdue anger by pretending to be a nice guy orgal.Thinking, We separated as friends. It was a mature thing to do. Hischeating on me was just a wakeup call while clenching your teethand fists doesnt work.Let the anger ru