Breaking Dawn a Changing Heart

8/4/2019 Breaking Dawn a Changing Heart

1/10

Author's Notes:

This story takes place between Book 2 and Book 3 of Breaking Dawn, starting from the pointwhere Jacob leaves, believing Bella is dead (pages 355-378). The time where Bella is hovering

near death, and then unaware of her surroundings, is retold here from Edward's point of view.

In Edward's words

A Changing Heart

She's not here anymore. The words flashed through Jacob's mind as his hands weakened, unable

to fight for Bella's life any longer.

The hell she's not, my thoughts screamed in reply. She promised to keep her heart ourheart

beating. I wasn't going to let her give up, even if he could.

"Go, then," I spat. Get away from her, you bastard. I slapped Jacob's hands away, barelyregistering the snap of his bones breaking. And he thoughtIwas a traitor? I pressed against

Bella's tired heart, forcing it to move the thick venom through her system.

Jacob stepped back, mindlessly turning toward the door, shrouding himself in prematuremourning.And Bella had counted on him?

"She's not dead. She's going to be fine," I said as a dismissal.Iwon't let her die. I won't let usdie.

"Bella, my love, stay with me, you have to fight," I whispered. Her heart didn't respond, and her

lungs were deathly still. I stopped only to blow a fresh supply of oxygen into her chest. As myhand returned to encouraging her heart, the furnace in my throat raged. Her blood was

everywhere, bathing her naked form, covering my hands, coating my lips. The scent and flavorthat had drawn me so intensely before, didn't entice me any longer. The burn in my throat was

not one of desire, but of the hell I was so close to entering.

"Bella, I love you; stay with me, please," I begged. Jacob's mind intruded again, as heremembered the horror he'd just witnessed. Was there nothing I could do to help her return to

me?

I heard Jacob's thoughts crumbling Maybe I was begging for the wrong things. Anything I

would do anythingto keep her with me. "Bella, you promised Jacob you would keep your heartbeating he needs you. Please, you can do it."

Nothing. Bella's face was blue now, the face of death. The compressions had broken nearly all of

her ribs, and the sound of her bones grinding together overpowered nearly everything else.No,she can't die! We can't die and then I heard it.


2/10

A soft coo, and Rosalie's responding murmur. She is so beautiful, she thought. Our baby wascontent, the whispers of her thoughts focused on the cup at her lips. I should be comforted by

that, by this new life. I'd held my daughter only for a moment, had felt her heart reach out tomine but without Bella, there was no future for me. The cold reality was an ice dagger in my

chest. Rosalie would have the daughter she always wanted, and I would perish with my wife, my

love, hopefully consumed in the same flames that cremated this body this beautiful body I hadbeaten to death with my own hands. The image of Bella's battered face filled Renesmee's mind,and my heart ached with her need for her mother. I tried one last time.

"Bella, you have to live for our daughter, she needs you most of all. Live for Renesmee."

Just as I caught Jacob's murderous thoughts and lifted my head, Bella's heart twitched against my

pounding, bringing my life into focus for one instant. I continued the compressions, but feltanother twitch, and then her heart began to beat on its own.

"Bella, you're doing it. One beat at a time, my love." My hands stilled, and I brought my face to

hers. I felt the faint wisp of air being pulled into her mouth as she took a shallow breath, on herown. Prayers weren't something that graced my lips often, but the "Thank you" that escaped wasexactly that.

I kissed her gently, the flavor turning my throat to charcoal as the enormity of the last minutes

took hold in my chest. My head fell into her blood-soaked hair and I wept. Tearless sobswracked through me, and I shook as I fought for some kind of control. She was alive, but had

been so close to deathshe had been dead.

Grief, love, fear, relief, anger, joy, regret every emotion that existed exploded inside me all atonce, crushing me. With every breath my chest heaved, the motion reminding me of how I'd

forced her to overcome death; torn her from heaven as violently as if I'd ripped her heart out withmy fingers. Could she forgive me if she ever woke up?

"I'm sorry Bella. You didn't deserve this. I love you," I choked. Her heart picked up speed inresponse, chastising me, I knew. I could imagine her words

It's youI don't deserve, she would say, with a blush. Another sob coursed through me, knowing

the agony she must be enduring if she was ever going to speak again.

Please let this be the last pain I cause her.

Time and space were lost; for once the sound of other minds did not interrupt the emotionalupheaval of my thoughts. Everything I was before was gone, there was nothing left. No logic, nothought, no ability; nothing. I existed only in the hyperactive beating of Bella's heart our heart.

I'd come so close to losing her to killing her and not with my monstrous thirst, but with mylove. The pain ripped me again, burning nearly as hot as the fire she must be experiencing in her

haunting silence.


3/10

Eventually my awareness and control returned, and I finally lifted myself above my love, myexistence. She was no longer blue, but still extremely pale. Even covered in blood she was

beautiful, so peaceful with her eyes gently closed.

At the thought of peace, I panicked surely the change had started, but there was no evidence of

that. Even with her heart pounding in my ears I felt her arm for a pulse did I do somethingwrong? Could she really be dead, the heart beat just an involuntary memory of a lifeless body?

Bella took a stronger breath then, and her heartbeat strengthened. I inhaled as well, but the reliefwas not as complete this time. The incineration that was my throat ached again, but I embraced

it. "I'm burning with you, Bella, you're not alone," I whispered in her ear. How I wished I couldtake the pain she must be feeling upon myself. She's suffered enough already.

Her heart continued to strengthen, and I reached out for her cheek again, but stopped. My fingerswere still crimson with her blood, dried on my hands and arms. The others would be returning

soon, and wouldn't fare nearly as well as Rosalie had. Reluctantly I pulled myself to the

temporary sink set up near the door and meticulously washed as if preparing for surgery.

Thankfully Carlisle, or perhaps Alice, had the foresight to leave several sets of scrubs next to the

sink, and I quickly slipped a set on before tossing my blood soaked clothes in the fireplace. Theflames burst to life, dancing happily over the fabric, eager for more. My eyes wandered around

the room, finding more than enough fuel for the fire.

My gaze rested on Bella, and the rest of the carnage disappeared. Nothing else would be toucheduntil I'd cared for her.

Slowly I washed her, torn between the fear caused by her frozen state and the relief that she

didn't seem to be experiencing the torture that the change brought. Perhaps she'd been so close todeath that the pain was delayed. Maybe she was in some sort of limbo between death andtransition. As I carefully wiped away the stains, I cringed as red was removed only to reveal

purple. Her bruises hadn't healed, and had in fact multiplied from the brutal CPR she wassubjected to.

When I got to the bite mark that Renesmee had left, I stopped. Teeth human babies weren't

born with teeth, but it was evident that my daughter had a full set. I examined the red crescentsclosely, intrigued by the slowly healing injury. If venom had been applied to the bite, it would

have vanished by now. Renesmee was a true mixture of human and vampire andshe wasn'tpoisonous. In what other ways would she surprise me?

Bella took another breath, and I worked my way up to her face. As I slowly wiped her blood

stained cheeks, I couldn't resist kissing her. Her lips were still warm, her pulse a hummingbird'sbeat within. She didn't respond, and another chill radiated through me. I washed her hair, finally

remembering that we were not alone in the house.

She is so perfect.


4/10

The sentiment stunned me because Rosalie wasn't the source.Jacob?

His thoughts were simple, and exceptionally clear. Areyou cold, little one? Hungry? Such astrong grip you have.

What was going on? He'd been ready to kill my daughter how long ago was that? and now hewas acting like she was his daughter? I listened to Rosalie's mind, and found even moreconfusion.

She reached out forhim? Why would she want thatputridmutt? He'd better give her up or I'llrip his head off I could see the cup in her hands as she prepared another meal of blood for

Renesmee.

We're almost there, Edward, hang on. Carlisle's thoughts loudly cut in, announcing the return ofthe rest my family.

Finally, the help I needed. Bella remained gruesomely still on the table I hoped that Carlislecould tell me if she was really going through the change. If she was really, truly alive.

I finished cleaning her abused body and covered her to the chin with a clean sheet. My mind

buzzed with surprise and awe as each member of my family was introduced to my daughter. Ipicked up Bella's hand and held it to my cheek. "She has your eyes, my love," I whispered. The

urge to be with Renesmee, to be the one holding her, showing her off, divided my attention, butas long as Bella suffered I couldn't pull myself away. This was another birth that I was

responsible for, and I wouldn't let her bear this alone.

Carlisle's hand didn't startle me when it rested on my shoulder. You did it, son.

"Did I? She hasn't moved. Not a millimeter."

Have faith, Edward. You remember that it took time for the venom to permeate Esme's

consciousness. There was so much damage, and the repairs had to be made before she couldsense the pain. His mind filled with a horrific image of his wife, paralyzed, but moaning gently

before the intense fire filled her. When the first screams sounded in his memory I winced withhim, feeling the agony in his heart that mirrored the pain in her body. How would I make it

through this?

And there was the morphine, maybe it really does work. But she is definitely alive, Edward. Be

patient. I'll be with you. You are not alone.

She is alive, I told myself as I rubbed the back of her hand. Her heartbeat radiated through my

fingers, and the gentle warmth, though fading, was still evident. Carlisle cleaned the roomaround me, filling the air with the sharp tang of bleach as Bella's heart ticked off the seconds. It

beat quickly, rivaling the speed of Renesmee's tiny rhythm. The next days were going to betorture, and I steeled myself against the screams I knew were coming.


5/10

"Thank you, Carlisle, for everything."

We all love her, and you.

He finished cleaning in silence, his mind focused on the image of the baby suckling downstairs.

Renesmee was the center of attention; Bella would call her dazzling. I smiled, remembering howI'dbeen dazzled by her face; her brown eyes an exact duplicate of her mother's. Of course theyloved her, how could they not?

So this is what it's like, finding the one you'd die for. The thought was so intense, so forceful thatmy head whipped around to the door. It was partnered with the image of Renesmee cradled in

Esme's arms. I recognized the feeling in many ways. Bella evoked the same reaction in me, solong ago, but this was more basic, more animalistic. More wolf-like.

"No, he didn't" The words came out as a snarl. I'd been so focused on Bella that I'd missed the

excitement downstairs.

Edward, what's wrong? Carlisle thought innocently. I looked at him and clenched my jaw. He'dbecome quite adept at hiding his thoughts, it seemed.

"Tell me, Carlisle there's no use hiding any more."

His golden eyes didn't waver, but I heard him weigh the decision before responding. "It appearsthat Renesmee has had a profound impact on every member of our family. Including Jacob."

Carlisle didn't speak to me without a reason, and the sound of his voice silenced everyone

downstairs. They all knew, and their thoughts washed over me like a heavy rain.

He's so gentle, she is perfectly safe.

I'll hold him for you, Edward. You can pulverize him.

If you'd thrown the dog out days ago, we wouldn't have this problem.

She adores him. Not like she loves you or Bella, but she cares for him, wants to protect him.

I can't see a damn thing, they are both blank to me.

I couldn't help it, you know that, Edward. I only want to protect her, that's all. You've read Quil'smind, you understand how imprinting works.

And one last tiny thought.Mine.

I'd barely held her, and now my baby, our baby, was focused on Jacob Black. Bella's hand fellfrom mine so that I could press my fists into my eyes. When would things get easier? Would

they ever? This was too much. I'd fought so hard for Bella, and now I had to fight for my own


6/10

daughter? This must be the hell I'd earned, to be so close to everything I could ever want, only tohave it ripped away before I could reach it.

"Renesmee" I moaned.

She must have heard me, because her tiny word vanished and was replaced by the memory of myface, staring with wonder into hers. The word repeated as I watched my lips say it to her, secondsafter she was born. Renesmee. The memory was filled with such love that I gasped. Love only

for me.

"Let's go see Daddy," Esme said, confusing me. My daughter hadn't spoken, yet Esme heard her?

I looked at Carlisle.

"Carlisle, what the hell is going on? Jacob has" The word vanished, but Carlisle noddedminutely, and I swallowed. Bella's breathing slowed, distracting me for a split second, and I put

Jacob out of my mind. "And Esme can read minds now?"

He just smiled.No, she can't. Your daughter, my granddaughter, his smile widened, has anamazing talent. You'll see.

A talent? Before I could consider his statement, Esme came in and brought Renesmee to me.

"She is so beautiful, she looks just like you, Edward," she said warmly as she put the tiny bundlein my arms. My daughter.

Her eyes were exactly Bella's, so deep and warm, and I couldn't help but remember the first time

I'd seen such loveliness, in a cafeteria of all places. Renesmee's face was not Bella's, and though

I couldn't see myself in it, her countenance was eerily familiar. I recognized the color of her hairas mine, and ran a finger through her soft curls.

Her eyes didn't leave me, and as my hand caressed her perfect cheek, I was rewarded with a

strawberry blush, and a smile.I love you, Daddy.

"She smiled. Oh Edward, that's her first smile, just for you." Esme's voice wavered, and I couldhear the joy that would have given her tears. A murmur of awe, and a little jealousy, rippled

through the minds downstairs, but nothing specific registered. I was holding Renesmee, ourchild.

"Hello, my sweet daughter. I love you too." As the words left my lips a lump filled my throat, asif trying to add more strength to the words. Her scent was sweet with human blood and vampireperfume, but there was no desire, no thirst burning my throat. I'd helped create this life, this

perfect baby girl, and could never conceive of hurting her. She affected my being so deeplythat words failed me.


7/10

Renesmee wiggled in her wraps, and her hand reached up for my face.Momma, she thought, andimages passed through her mind of Bella's blood streaked face. When her hand touched my skin,

the same pattern repeated.

I moved her tiny fingers to my lips, kissing them lightly, and the lump grew. "Momma's alright,

my sweet. She'll hold you later." My mouth unwillingly creased in a weak smile, and Renesmeewas unconvinced.

She twisted around, amazingly strong for a barely-born infant, and turned to Esme. Her handpulled away from mine and she reached for her grandmother.

My heart ached as I realized she wanted Esme, and I prepared to pass her back.

"No, Edward, she doesn't want me to hold her, she wants to tell me something," Esme said. Sheleaned her face down to my daughter, who touched it just like she had touched me. The same

word,Momma, accompanied by the same images, appeared in her mind again, and I watched in

amazement as Esme answered her question. "She's just fine, my dear, don't worry. Daddy isright, she'll hold you after she wakes up."

Renesmee has the ability to put her memories into another's head with her touch, Edward,Carlisle thought.

"Uh" Words eluded me again.

I'm going to give Bella a quick exam, alright Edward? Taking advantage of my stunneddistraction, Carlisle lifted the sheet covering Bella gingerly. I nodded numbly, and Esme stood

close, blocking Renesmee's view of her mother.

Esme looked into my daughter's eyes. "Daddy is special too, Renesmee. You don't have to touchDaddy to tell him your thoughts, sweetheart. He hears how much you love him every time you

think it."

The infant in my arms watched her grandmother with clear comprehension before gazing up at

me.I love you, Daddy, she thought with her tiny mental voice.

"I know, my sweet, I know." I pulled her face to my lips and kissed her cheeks, then herforehead. My eyes closed, savoring the warmth of her skin against mine, and the contented sigh

her mind made as I did.

Bella is doing well, Edward. Her bruises are nearly gone, so the venom seems to be working. Wejust have to wait. Carlisle came to stand next to me as I raised my head from my daughter's. Her

eyes were drooping, and fear raced through me.

"Carlisle, is she"


8/10

Sleepy, Edward. He smiled at me, patting my shoulder, calming me. The human traits sheexhibits are quite remarkable.

"She's one of a kind, just like her mother," I said, my chest warming when she smiled again at

the sound of my voice.

"We'll come check on you in a little while," Esme said, stepping toward the door.

I looked back at Bella who was still perfectly motionless, her dark hair draped gracefully over

one shoulder.

"Call if there is any problem," Carlisle added, glancing toward Bella before holding the dooropen for his wife. I heard him fielding questions once he reached the family room, including

concerns about Renesmee. Luckily Jacob didn't press the issue. This is my daughter, not his.

Renesmee yawned, and her eyes closed for a long blink. Memories of holding a sleepy, human

Bella under her tattered quilt ghosted by, and without thinking, I started rocking. The musiccame next, automatically pouring from my throat. Renesmee's eyes opened wider for a moment,entranced with the sound and I stopped.

More Daddy?

"All right, but close your eyes, my precious." I smiled, and she mirrored my expression as Ibegan again. Bella's lullaby became Renesmee's lullaby. Her breathing slowed, but deepened as

she drifted to sleep, and I watched her dreams begin to unfold. It seemed so easy to block outeveryone else's thoughts with our baby in my arms.

Still rocking, I moved closer to Bella. "She's amazing, my love, I can't wait for you to see her." Astab of guilt pierced me as I realized that it would be a long time before Bella could hold ourdaughter. A newborn vampire had no sense of control, and even if Bella some how avoided

draining the blood from this precious life, she could so easily crush our baby just by hugging her.Renesmee was clearly stronger and tougher than a human, but still not fully vampire. She would

be in danger until Bella got control months from now.

My face passed through Renesmee's dreams, and a new reality set in.I'm a father

In all my years, I never considered that I would be in this position. Of course I never imagined I

would find someone as amazing as Bella, so I shouldn't be surprised that her miracle would

extend to the baby girl snoozing in my arms. The completeness that Renesmee brought wasstaggering. She fulfilled a need I didn't know I had, and expanded a love that was alreadyinfinite.

Renesmee existed because of the unending love I feel for Bella a living, amazingly breathing,

tangible result of that love. My heart responded in kind, expanding to encompass this new lifewhen I thought it had already been filled to overflowing. The realization left me paralyzed as I

tried to define something so boundless. I began breathing again when I found the one boundary


9/10

that could possibly haunt forever. One brown-haired beauty slept in my arms, another lie just asstill on the table before me. God help me should I ever have to choose between them.

I barely noticed Alice enter, I was so engrossed in memorizing every detail of our beautiful

baby's face as she slept in my arms. When my sister breezed past me without a glance, she got

my attention. "Alice, what are you doing?"

"Dressing your wife something you neglected to do," she said sharply.He never thinks twice

about what she wears until he sees it on her. Like the clothes just materialize on her body

I started to groan, but the distressed look on Alice's face stopped me. Had the future told her

something? "What's wrong now, Alice?" I braced myself, refusing to imagine what else wewould be forced to endure today.

"Your daughter is still unreadable, and having her here makes it impossible for me to see how

Bella will awaken, so don't even ask," she grumbled. "But I think I know her well enough to

predict that she wouldn't want to be stark naked when she does open her eyes."

My jaw relaxed; I'd inadvertently been gritting my teeth. "I'm sure your right, Alice. Thank you."

She drew a long dress out of the garment bag she'd brought. "Be gentle, Bella's spine" Myvoice became a croak, unable to continue as sound of Bella's back snapping echoed in my

memory.

"I will, Edward. Try not to worry."

Bella's face with golden eyes appeared in Alice's mind a picture she'd seen on and off for two

years now and my fears subsided for the moment. The perfect baby in my arms took a deep

breath, and I watched her sleep, just as entranced as I was when I watched her mother sleep.Renesmee's forehead creased as she dreamed about Rosalie whisking her away from Bella. I heldher close, humming again, and the fear in her mind faded.

Alice paused, staring at me. "I could never have foreseen this," she said softly.

I met her gaze, and was surprised to see her face relaxed and smiling. "No, Renesmee is amiracle that defies prediction."

"True, but that's not what I meant." She finished buckling dangerously high heels on Bella, then

stood in front of me, resting her hand on her niece's curls. "You. I could never have predicted

that you would want to be a father if you had the chance. You have changed again, Edward, andit's lovely." Her hand moved to my arm and she gave it a squeeze.

"I had no idea no one is more surprised than I am." I glanced at Bella. "She knew, though."

"It'll all be fine, you'll see. I'll come back later when Renesmee is back downstairs and check on

Bella. Thenyou can find some clothes," she looked meaningfully at my pale green attire.


10/10

Breaking Dawn a Changing Heart

Documents

Transcript of Breaking Dawn a Changing Heart