Breakfast with strangers(introduction)
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Transcript of Breakfast with strangers(introduction)
Matt Webber & Courtney Dillard
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Copyright © 2013 by Courtney Dillard & Matthew Webber
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form without written permission of the publisher.
For information, address !
Breakfast with Strangers LLC, 3519 NE 15th Ave, Box 300, Portland, OR 97212
www.BreakfastWithStrangers.com
ISBN: 978-0-615-93066-4
PHOTO CREDITS!
Front Cover - iStock. !
Page 8 - Bluebird Photography (Austin, TX)
Formatting and Design: Shawn Mihalik
PROLOGUEor, How one finds themselves spending their honeymoon standing outside a Waffle House at 8am in Bay St. Louis,
Mississippi with a giant sign.
ÒA stranger is just a friend I haven't met yet.Ó ~ Will Rogers
Most people spend their honeymoon relaxing in a ro-
mantic setting usually with a tropical drink in hand and
the soft sound of gentle waves breaking on the beach
before them. Most people. For us? We decided to spend
our honeymoon living in a 1997 Ford Aerostar minivan
and taking strangers out to breakfast across America. !
WeÕve been asked more than once how we came to em-
bark on such a quirky adventure. Well, it started like
many things do, at the breakfast table. We were out one
morning at one of our go-to breakfast spots here in
Portland when Courtney noticed someone dining alone
and wondered aloud what their story was. She was itch-
ing to invite them over but that seemed like a strange
thing to do. I mean, outside of the movies, does anyone
do that? So we kept to ourselves and our weekend rou-
tine.
And yet during the following weeks the question resur-
faced: can you ask strangers to breakfast? Courtney thought maybe you could. Matt on the other hand, as the more sensible of the
two, had his hesitations. He felt more comfortable picking up a strangerÕs tab and then dashing out the door. We continued to talk
about it and then serendipity stepped in. One morning while sitting at the counter of our regular breakfast spot, Cafe Vita, we got
into a conversation with a man who was taking a break from his Saturday ritual. Every Saturday he got his hands dirty refurbishing
an old boat he planned to sail around the world one day. A casual ÒHowÕs your morning going?Ó soon turned into conversation that
lasted well beyond our meals. Hours later, we left that experience excited and inspired, thinking about our own dreams. The seed
that was planted now started to sprout roots.
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We decided to post an invitation on
Craigslist, asking people to tell us in
500 words or less why we should take
them to breakfast. While the post may
have raised a few suspicious eyebrows,
being Portland, we got several great
responses. We eventually had break-
fast with a wonderful woman who
even brought her photo scrapbook
along to explain how her recent mis-
sion trip to Haiti had changed her life.
Again, another amazing stranger and
another inspiring story. We were two
for two.
As time passed, we started talking
about getting married. We had been
dating for close to nine years but had avoided tying the knot
in part because it seemed like such a traditional thing to do.
Then we had an idea: Why not start our married life together
by taking strangers to breakfast across America? We got our
pencils out and our grand plan unfolded on a sheet of note-
book paper (which we still have). Very quickly the sheet was
covered with names of people who could help, places we
should visit and supplies we would need. In our hands we
held the blueprint for a five month odyssey of getting to know
ourselves, our country and each other over breakfast.
Little by little and step by step, we moved the project along
from the idea to a reality. !For instance, Courtney asked for a
personal leave from work and Matt arranged things so that
his contract work would come to an end around the beginning
of the trip. We came up with our own wedding registry replete
with gift cards for gas, hotels and groceries, as well as camp-
ing and travel gear. Hoping that others might be willing to
help us pull this off, we decided to post the project on Kick-
starter a the well-known crowd funding website. In essence,
we were strangers asking strangers to help fund taking other
strangers out to breakfast. Why not!? With the help of a few
dear friends and our buddy who not only had the video skills
but also owned an actual camera, we put our video pitch into
cyberspace, as well as launched our website. Word got out
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and people liked our idea. We met our funding goal with time to spare and over 140 backers.
Once we realized that this trip was actually going to happen, we had to answer a key question: how exactly were we going to find
these breakfast strangers? We came up with a variety of ways: bulletin boards, classifieds, flyers, word of mouth, Facebook, Twit-
ter, Craigslist, Reddit, pure chance, and earned media. Matt started promoting the project on various online forums and sites and
soon breakfast and media requests started flooding our inbox. Before we knew it we had close to 1000 emails from potential break-
fast guest from every corner of the country. We were also getting requests from the media now and soon found ourselves in print,
over the radio, and on TV being labeled Ôthat
strange couple doing that neat thing.Õ It also
amazed us how many people wrote to us telling
us how they loved and supported our idea. In
addition to people wanting to go to breakfast,
we heard from dozens of strangers just wishing
us luck on our journey. !It seemed that while all
of us had been adequately schooled in stranger-
danger, most of us still believed in the old adage
that a stranger is just a friend we havenÕt met
yet.
In order to make these new friends, we had to
hit the road. Our next move was to trade our
house full of stuff for a storage unit and a van.
But what type of van? When Courtney thought
about road trips she envisioned herself in a
funky 1970Õs Volkswagon bus or an upscale
modern Eurovan, but Matt had different ideas.
He had his heart set on a Ford Aerostar which
he loved to note was the only all-wheel drive
van built on a truck chassis which also had
enough room in the back for him to stretch out
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comfortably. The way Matt saw it, even the smallest town in the middle of nowhere was going to have a mechanic with Ford parts
if we ever needed them. Since there arenÕt many VW buses still capable of traveling across America and the EurovanÕs price tag
caused us severe sticker shock, Courtney acquiesced. After looking at a number of Aerostars on Craigslist, we went with a 1997
model which we bought from a guy in The Dalles, Oregon named Chester for the cool price of $3,750, at least $15,000 less than
CourtneyÕs dream vehicle. After getting our chariot road ready with a tune-up, a carrier box on top and a custom built bed frame in
the rear, we dubbed her the USS Pancake and ordered ourselves a pair of custom Oregon license plates that read ÔBWS50Õ.
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From House To Storage To Van
We also decided it might be a good idea if we had a few break-
fasts before we left just as practice, as neither of us had much
formal experience with taking strangers out to breakfast. We
put ads on various online sites and met our fellow Portlanders
at restaurants around the city.
There was:
Mark, a navy reservist and self-proclaimed feminist, liberal
40-something white male who looks like a conservative arche-
type. Mark spends his free time volunteering on the board of a
local non-profit that works to prevent sexual assault and sup-
port assault survivors and sex-trafficked children.
Jennifer, a Floridian who moved to Portland to find the crea-
tive community she could never find back home. She now
lives in a tent on a farm and makes her own dandelion beer.
Jared, a Nebraskan transplant who moved west and literally
shed his old self (he lost 100lbs) to start a new life in Portland
as a video game designer. Even though heÕs from a farming
community, his family views him as a hippie for having back-
yard chickens.
Hannah, who at the time worked for a prosecutorÕs office
monitoring the telephone conversations of prisoners at a
county jail. Every day she spent hours listening to the calls of
strangers, looking for clues of their guilt, eavesdropping on
both the mundane and profound aspects of their lives.
In the process, we learned it was best to keep things informal
and unstructured at the breakfast table and just chat with peo-
ple about their lives and especially what they love to do. These
beta breakfasts also helped us establish our breakfast budget
and set some boundaries on our own food consumption as it
was obvious we would gain a fair amount of weight if we did
not.
So in July of 2012 with all this planning behind us and shortly
after walking down the aisle, we hit the open road. We set off
on our honeymoon, taking a leap of faith not only with each
other, but also with our fellow Americans.
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Van Life 101
¥ You donÕt need to spend $30,000 on a Eurovan. There are plenty of highly functioning Ford AerostarÕs still out there for $3,000.
¥ Gas stations have free coffee creamers, so stock up. The top-tier will also have free condiment packets.
¥ Walmart parking lots are free to camp in.
¥ If you want to put up curtains, velcro is the way to go.
¥ You can get free wi-fi at most McDonalds parking lots across the USA without ever making a purchase.
¥ They make adapters so you can plug your laptop into your lighter (allowing us to watch Downton Abbey for hours!).
¥ Turn off the radio. YouÕre only going to hear the same Journey song played over and over again in every single radio market.
When we decided to take strangers out to breakfast for our honey-
moon we thought it was quirky but certainly not dangerous. After
all, whatÕs the worst that could happen while dining with someone
in a public restaurant? And yet when we told people our idea,
many expressed concern for our safety. Cautious from the daily
barrage of news reports detailing schemes and shootings, our
friends and families warned us to be careful on the journey. The
most insistent of these voices was CourtneyÕs mother who was cer-
tain we would Òend up dead in a gutterÓ (her words, not ours). !
Many strained phone conversations later, CourtneyÕs mother gave
us her reluctant blessing only after she had promised a few things:
1. Stay off the backroads.
2. Never meet a stranger at their home.
3. DonÕt let a stranger cook you breakfast (lest they try to poison
you).
The very first place we wanted to visit on our tour was Frenchglen,
OR which has a bit of a legendary status among a certain set of
Portlanders. Not all of Oregon is lush green, covered with Douglas
Firs, and filled with left-leaning hippies despite the impression
you may have gotten from Portlandia. If you look at a map of Ore-
gon there are these incredibly large blank spaces in the Southeast
corner of the state. ItÕs the kind of place where youÕll pass a sign
that reads ÒNext services in 75 miles.Ó In the middle of that blank
space is Frenchglen whose name suggests an oasis in a desert of
unincorporated towns like Voltage and Wagontire. When a person
gets out the Oregon map to show off their intra-state wanderings,
Frenchglen is a persistent prize. !Eager to see it for ourselves, we
pointed the USS Pancake southeast and drove towards the Oregon
outback that was still unknown to us.
After what seemed like an eternity, we rolled into town parched
from the high temperatures and the remnants of forest fire smoke.
Our choices for a cold drink were either to grab a soda from the lo-
cal mercantile or stop at the only other business in town - The
Frenchglen Hotel. We chose the later. The hotel serves as more
than just a place travelers spend the night, it is also the only place
in town for locals to eat (you have to sign up for family style meals
in advance due to limited seating), talk local politics over a drink
or display their wares for sale. With this in mind we figured the
proprietor of the hotel, John, was someone who had his finger on
the pulse of Frenchglen whose reported population is 12 (accord-
ing to Wikipedia). As we enjoyed our beers on the enclosed front
porch, we gathered the courage to explain our project to him and
finally ask: ÒSo who is the most interesting person in Frenchglen?
WeÕd like to take them to breakfast.Ó It took him only thirty sec-
onds to tell us who he thought would be the ideal candidate for
our first road breakfast: John W., a fourth generation rancher.
A few minutes later and a Budweiser down with the number in
hand, Matt picked up the phone to ask a total stranger, a real life
cowboy at that, to breakfast. After explaining the project to JohnÕs
wife who answered the phone, we waited with bated breath for
their answer. When she suggested that we drive to their mountain
cabin instead and eat with the entire family, we didnÕt miss a beat
before saying yes. It wasnÕt until the next morning when we found
ourselves driving 14 miles into the Steen Mountain Range on a
dusty and bumpy dirt road with no cellphone reception to dine at
the cabin of strangers that Courtney realized it had only taken
three days for her to break every promise she had made to her
mother.
We both agreed, this was going to be one heck of a honeymoon.
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