Brave New Worldpart 2

JANUS

Brave NewWorld part 2

JANUS

Boa’s Chariot 2010

I’ve thought about doin’ a sequelAbout Walter and Francis, both Sirs,Who sailed in West Indian waters.(Treatise published by Boa refers.)

But old Cristo took most of the credit -For discov’ring that new place to stay.He’d not ‘eard about Eric and t’Vikings,Way oop narth, where the polar bears play.

Thing is: they were useless at bus’ness,Yon Vikings I mean.When it rained,They stopped off for swag or a party;And went ’ome when the Mrs complained;

Whereas Spaniards werecanny, real dealers;They could spot a mainchance in a flash.They ’ad sponsors ’n’agents ’n’ lawyersAnd they’d barter theirgrannies for cash.

So Queen Isa, in charge of the project,Said, “Cristo,melad, pay me ‘eed!I don’t want them English to profit;They’re famous for lootin’ and greed.”

“I want all them islands you’re findin’To be private for me and me mates.So give ‘em cool names, like Bahamas,And I’ll sell ‘em on FaceBook for dates.”

So that’s why the Indies are foreign.And maybe it’s best: can’t you see?‘Cos if Walter and Francis ‘ad done it,They’d be called ‘Little-Bootle-on-Sea’;

And ‘Basingstoke Is-land’, not Cuba -And ‘BirminghamCove’ and ‘New Leeds’.Even worse, ‘Raleigh’sIsle’, not Bermuda,Whatever his derring-do deeds.

Later on,Good Queen Bess got it sorted:“Forget about t’tiddlers; go narth!There are much bigger fish on the mainland.Go and show us what England is warth!”

And it didn’t take that long to do it —Just a couple o’ centuries would doWith Virginia and sweet CarolinaAnd Georgia and Maryland too.

What a country they’d found, them explorers!What a glittering future there’d be!Men would sing of ‘the home of the brave’ there,And fly flags o’er the land of the free!