Bratislava-Family-Matters-Issue-2

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Which University is right for my child? Page 27

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4 FAMILY MATTERS CONTENTS

FAMILYMATTERS

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ZINE

Family Matters issue 2

contributions welcome from all of the

Bratislava community. please contact

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exited stage left, finding a quiet bench outside to enjoy my lunch on. I realised at that moment that my long immersion among people who spoke a language I didnt understand had weakened some mental muscle I didnt know I had. Apparently that muscle allowed me, and presumably others, to block out the noise of those around me. It was sort of like taking off your sunglasses on a sunny day, exept that your eyes dont adjust. Sensory overload, in other words.

While the symptoms did seemingly subside in time and were by no means cause for genuine concern, the experience did instil in me an appreciation for one aspect of expat life that is generally overlooked peace and quiet amidst the cacophony of everyday life. the Family Matters team

An interesting thing happened to me on a recent trip to my native country that I had yet to experience in my years as an expat living abroad. Im not sure what the precise term for it is, but I imagine it might be called reverse culture shock. While most people are aware of what culture shock is and how it affects those who have relocated to a foreign land, Im quite sure far fewer have experienced the opposite effect returning to their native country and having culture shock deja vu, so to speak.

Over the course of my time abroad Ive generally visited home (I still call it that) with regularity, at least twice a year for a few weeks at a time. However, over the past three years, due to my work schedule and other international travel, I had not been back, instead opting for Skype video calls on holidays and birthdays. Understandably, I

didnt fully understand the effect that this prolonged absence was going to have on me.

The most interesting and annoying aspect of my experience was my seeming lack of ability to shut out the voices of others in public places. Upon visiting the food court of a busy shopping mall, I found myself unable to enjoy the long-missed food that I had specifically sought out on this occasion. Instead, the conversations of those around me overtook my mind, causing what could be described as a minor anxiety attack. Perhaps it might be better to describe it more as indoor road rage rather than anxiety, but either way, I desperately wanted those around me to stop talking. I didnt want to hear about Justin Biebers new song or that it might rain later that afternoon. I didnt want to know. So I grabbed my food and

FAMILYMATTERS

MA

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358Personalising learning

dr terry creissen discusses the importance of personalising learning

EDITORS WORD

facts machine

Mark angus offers helpful insight into how to get the most out of your school

PUBLISHER The British International

[email protected]

CHIEF EDITORTravis Murray

[email protected]

ART DIRECTORTravis Murray

[email protected]

COPY EDITORAelred Doyle

[email protected]

[email protected]

CONTACTThe British International

SchoolJ. V. Dolinskeho 1

841 02 Bratislava, Slovakia+421 2 6930 7081 (2)

www.bis.sk

Entire contents 2011 by Family Matters Magazineunless otherwise noted

on specific articles

14more than work

Maurice dusault and alessandra Mariani take Family Matters through a day in the life of iB students

FAMILYMATTERS

WHICH UNIVERSITY IS RIGHT FOR MY CHILD? Page 27

EDUCATIONFacts machine

ASK THE EXPERTSWhats your expat story?

TRAVELBali: Island of the gods

HEALTHThe winter blues

MAGAZINE

ISSUE 2

5CONTENTS FAMILY MATTERS

XX

605040 66Whats your expat story?

ensUring recovery

neil Jensen tells Family Matters about his experience as an expat

Family Matters offers some advice on how to treat basic sports injuries

27Which university is right for my child?

Mark angus provides some advice for parents whose children are

moving on to university

room service shares some tips on how to choose the right domestic helper

household services cinema of dreams

david robinson runs down some classic films for the whole family

DISCOVER THE BEST SHOPPING IN THE CITYSHOPPING RESTAURANTS CAFES BILLIARD BOWLING CINEMAS

Inz OP 208x279 EN.indd 1 18.5.2011 16:22:52

7FAMILY MATTERSCOMMENT

COMMENT

the art of getting your children to talk to you

Why we need some good old-fashioned advice

Helpful ideas to encourage better communication at home

Some reasons people avoid seeking help even though they need it

Problems come in different shapes and sizes from minor inconveniences to crisis situations that cant be outrun or wished away. Theres no way to escape these trials of faith and sanity other than facing them head on.

Among the difficulties people face every day, none are so distressing and painful as relationship problems. These can cause a great deal of stress and even lead to depression, and fights between couples can become so overblown that the only way for the fight to end is for a mediator to come in. Sometimes, a mediator is needed to be a third party, a referee or a peacemaker. The mediator is also expected to provide the necessary guidance and counselling to the feuding parties.

Still, many involved in a tussle refuse to acknowledge the need for counselling. Whether were talking about a married or engaged couple, siblings or very close friends who suddenly became bitter enemies, the thought of seeking professional help just doesnt come to mind. Many people hold back from seeking counselling for the following reasons:

state of denialAngry people sometimes deny the existence of a problem. With stubborn pride, an angry person can just fume away and dismiss the need to control anger and resolve a problem, believing in effect that things will simply sort themselves out. People can also camouflage or mask their vulnerabilities by refusing to seek help. They see counselling as a situation that will expose them for who they are, warts and all. They wish to avoid that kind of vulnerability at all costs and, as a result, find themselves in a state of denial.

social stigmaSome people have a misconception that only mentally troubled people go to therapy. This mindset prevents a lot of people

from getting the help they need, because they value what others think about them more than what they need emotionally and psychologically. They fail to see the value of professional counselling, which is objective, scientific and result-oriented.

FearThe fear of facing the truth and reliving painful experiences like sexual or physical abuse, drug addiction or trauma from violent incidents can prevent people from going to a counsellor. Remembering painful memories is usually part of counselling sessions and therapy. These memories cause fear and anxiety on the part of the patient. But if someone under great stress or suffering from severe depression neglects to get proper therapy, the problem can be expected to get worse. Reopening a painful emotional wound is never pleasant, but we dont heal unless we learn to face, and eventually cast away, painful memories from our past. Through counselling, people with serious problems can learn to adjust and cope with their emotional and psychological issues.

religious stigmaSome associate counselling with religion or dogmatic beliefs, making the act of getting counselling uncomfortable for those who dont consider themselves religious or spiritual. While many people have found comfort and refuge in church-based counselling sessions, many are still wary of getting counselling there since they think they will have to become a member of the church.

Few people are strong enough to face lifes storms alone, and theres no shame in seeking counselling to cope with relationship problems. The important thing is to put time and commitment into your relationship, in the hope of positive results, and over time the resolution of your problems.

Being a parent isnt easy. Some days just getting everyone in your family all together at the same time for dinner can seem like an impossible dream. Between after-school sports and clubs and working and errands and carpools, its not surprising that almost half the parents in a recent survey said they felt a growing distance between themselves and their children.

Todays children have more things to deal with than kids did even just twenty years ago. Drugs, mixed messages in advertising, peer pressure, packed schedules and outside activities all add to the pressure they face.

So how, in the midst of all this chaos, do you find time to talk to your kids and more importantly, have them talk back to you?

here are several ideas that can help: 1. Eat dinner together as a family at least three times a week. Conversations flow easier when they happen around the dinner table. If your family is conversationally challenged at first, think of conversation starters before each meal. Plan a family vacation, letting each child talk about where theyd like to go or what theyd like to do. Talk about current events, the latest films or upcoming special events. Ask your children open-ended questions that have to be answered with more than a yes or no.

2. Turn off the outside world. Set aside family time each night and have everyone turn off their phones, computers and the television. Let your friends and extended family know that you wont be available during that time, and stick to it. Your kids (especially teenagers) may joke about it, but secretly theyll probably be delighted. Use this time to reconnect with each other. Watch a film, play board games, take turns reading out loud, but whatever you do, do it together.

3. Cook at least one meal a week together. Even your youngest children can do something to help. If your kitchen is too small for everyone to fit, schedule a helper or make your children responsible for different parts of the meal. Your family will grow closer during this time, and your kids may even start the conversations themselves. (You can always get the ball rolling by talking about things you did with your parents. While you may not be cool, chances are your kids think your parents are, and will be impressed.)

4. Make it safe for your kids to talk to you. Let them know that you wont get angry or upset if they talk to you about whats going on. If they tell you something off the record then make sure it stays that way (emergencies and dangerous situations aside).

5. Listen to what they have to say. If youre working or doing something else when your child starts to talk to you, they may give up if they know your attention is really somewhere else. Give them your undivided attention when theyre speaking.

6. Use active listening skills. Make sure that you understand what your child is telling you. Repeat what they told you and ask questions.

7. Set aside special time to spend with each child. It may be nothing more than taking one child at a time with you when you run errands, but let each child know that you value spending special time with them.

8. Be patient. Dont expect a perfect family. If youre not a 1950s TV family, its okay. Remember that perfect families dont really exist anyway.

Just keep trying, and youll learn the art of conversation with your kids isnt as hard as you thought!

8 FAMILY MATTERS EDUCATION

Everyone wants the business of starting in a new school to be as smooth, quick and painless as possible, especially if its also in a new country. Pupils want to meet their new classmates and teachers and make friends as soon as they can, while parents want to feel reassured that they have made the right decision and that their child will be happy and flourish in their new environment, so they can stop worrying!Schools also want joining a new learning environment to be a positive experience for all concerned. They want to get to know you and your child, to welcome you into the community and to be able to get on with the business of helping pupils to learn as soon as they can. So while different schools in different countries with different systems might all have their own registration, enrolment and induction procedures, each with their own particular idiosyncrasies, there is nevertheless one constant, one thing that any school wants about their new starters, wherever in the world that school is everyone wants information.

Therefore, you can really help your new school simply by giving them as much information about your child as you possibly can. You might think that schools are only interested in dry, academic documentation. Of course this is important, but schools are about so much more than this and, as a consequence, they value and appreciate information from as wide a variety of sources as possible. It might seem irrelevant, unimportant or even silly, but youd be surprised at what schools can make out of seemingly unpromising material.

Give Your neW school all the inForMation theY can handle

fActs mAchine

by Mark angus

9FAMILY MATTERSEDUCATION


school reports vary markedly around the world, depending

on factors such as whether the school is in the independent or maintained sector, the style of

curriculum and assessment, the frequency of the reports and a

host of other things besides


academic

School reports vary markedly around the world, depending on factors such as whether the school is in the independent or maintained sector, the style of curriculum and assessment, the frequency of the reports and a host of other things besides. It may be that the school reports you have are familiar to us, or they may represent a new variation on a theme that we have not encountered before. Dont worry whatever the format, a school report will always provide us with useful information and therefore you should provide your new school with all the reports you have, not only the most recent ones. A range of reports over a number of years allows a school to see the ways in which a pupil has developed and gives them some idea as to what might be to come.

Your previous schools may also have provided you with other documentation, and its useful for us to see that too. These documents might include: standardised test scores; CAT scores (cognitive ability test); educational psychologist reports; speech or occupational therapy reports; reading age scores. These and similar documents will always be useful, as they help us to make sure we are setting the right targets for

new pupils and challenging them appropriately right from the beginning.

However, other seemingly less significant material is also of use to us. Small academic prizes might not in themselves demonstrate the direction of a pupils future career, but they nevertheless help a new school build up a more complete picture of that pupil as quickly as possible. Therefore, dont underestimate the value of that Year 3 award for spelling, or that teachers commendation for a project, or that prize for memorising times tables they all help us to understand your childs overall approach to school, the pride they take in their work and their ability to do well under pressure or under test conditions. Knowing this information can sometimes save us a lot of time in getting to know just where your childs particular strengths are.

community involvement

All schools, and international schools in particular, place a good deal of emphasis on helping pupils to understand the importance of engaging with the community, learning about social responsibility and tackling difficult questions about how the wider world works. Therefore, it is extremely helpful to know the level to which pupils have previously been engaged in addressing these and other related issues.

For older students, we value very highly pupils who have taken part in the International Award (called the Duke of Edinburgh Award in the UK), as it means that they are already on the way to having an understanding of the importance of civic responsibility. Likewise, pupils who have previously been involved in Model United Nations will possess a degree of political and social understanding that sets them apart from their peers. Therefore, this is information that your new school will definitely want to know about and will be useful in establishing the right sort of expectations form the outset.

In the case of younger pupils, involvement in organisations such as Boy Scouts or Cubs, Girl Guides or Brownies, army, navy or air force cadets, European Youth Forum, Rotary International, Junior Chamber International, Raleigh International or any similar organisation is also valued highly. If your child has been involved in a group or organisation of this nature, your new school will undoubtedly want to hear about it. It is also useful if your child can speak enthusiastically about their involvement and what they think they learned from the experience.

However, it isnt always necessary to have a certificate or badge to demonstrate the level of engagement. If your child has been involved in any sort of charity or community project, whether at their previous school or through an

What do schools want to know?


outside agency, encourage them to talk about it and describe the sort of work they did and what they felt the benefits were this is the sort of conversation that principals love to have with prospective pupils and families, and that will really help your new school welcome you into its community.

sports

A lot of the school sport in international schools is of an extremely high standard and very competitive, and so principals are always keen to hear about new pupils sporting skills and exploits. Therefore, this is an area where its useful to provide as much documentation and physical evidence as you can.

If your child has earned medals, certificates, ribbons or badges for any sort of sporting event then bring them along to an interview. Have they set a school or district record? Been involved in a championship winning team? Won a gold medal? Been selected to represent their county, state or country? Achievements like these are things to be proud of and shared, and you should encourage your child to talk confidently about their favourite sport and discuss their achievements as maturely as possible.

However, people dont have to be an expert or a champion, or even especially skilled, to enjoy sport; it doesnt matter at which level your child has competed or if they have ever been a gold medallist; the very fact that they enjoy and take part in a sport will be important to their new school, and so they should feel comfortable discussing what it is that they like about their sport, and why.

extracurricular activities

There are as many extracurricular activities to potentially talk about as there are pupils in the world, so no matter what your childs into, tell us about it! There are formal activities from which you may have supporting, documentary material (its helpful to collate this and be prepared to present it during an interview or meeting), or there are smaller-scale activities organised on a much more casual basis. In either case, its really helpful if your child feels secure and confident enough to be able to talk about them with us.

They may be a musician who has completed grade examinations; they can show us the pieces of music theyre working on now to give us a good understanding of their level so we can match them up with the right teachers and fellow musicians. They may have been in an orchestra or ensemble at their old school, in which case it is really useful if they can talk about the pieces they played and their composers, as well as describe their role in the group. Or perhaps they were in a band again, it helps if theyre able to talk about the type of music they play, and discuss their influences and the other sorts of music that they like.

There are so many other fascinating things out there that people are interested in, and likewise so many fascinating things that we are interested in hearing your child talk about. Maybe they can speak other languages. Are into mountain climbing. Have an unusual pet. Have travelled to exotic locations. Have met someone famous. Collect antique coins. Like going to the theatre. Spent some time in hospital. Are part

of a large family. Anything! Whatever it is, we think hearing them talk about it will help us to understand the sort of person and pupil theyre going to be.

Perhaps the most important thing is that your child knows how to talk about what interests them. Can they explain when they first became interested in mountain climbing? What is the most valuable coin in their collection? Why do they like to travel? What is the play they have most enjoyed? Their aim should be to share with us their knowledge, understanding and passion for their hobbies and interests, so that we get a good idea of what makes them tick.

A range of reports over a number of years allows a school to see the ways

in which a pupil has developed and gives them

some idea as to what might be to come

next steps

In the end, you really cant be too prepared when your child is applying to a new school:

Get as many documents together as you can, even if they seem unimportant or trivial.

Get your child ready to show off their sporting medals and ribbons.

Think about the way in which your child presents him- or herself, and make sure that theyre confident talking about and answering questions about their hobbies or interests.

Doing all of this will help the school to get to know your child as quickly as they can, and then everyone him or her included can get straight down to the serious business of really enjoying the new school.


at, study and sleep. So often, one will hear IB students claim (and complain) that their life has been reduced to these three basic components. Of course, in reality this

is not what being an IB student is really like. The programme has so much more to offer by providing an environment in which we can develop in diverse ways. Our teachers certainly do have high academic expectations and always encourage us to produce our best possible work at all times. However, the wonderful thing about being an IB student is that the programme is about far more than just academic study. The way the course is structured around a core affords so many opportunities for us to develop in a holistic manner. We participate in all sorts of learning opportunities outside the classroom. The life of an IB student is the starting point of an amazing and intriguing journey as a life-long learner.

If theres one thing you learn as soon as you start the IB, its to be organised and do things systematically. We have so many internal assessment and homework deadlines to meet that if we dont work in a methodical manner well soon fall behind. Fortunately, if we do find ourselves in a spot of bother and needing a little help to cope with the demands of the course, we have a safety net in the form of academic review. If necessary, were placed with a mentor who helps us through rough patches by setting targets and offering advice.

Gone are the days when we go to class and expect the teacher to disseminate knowledge that we magically absorb. We are now independent learners and, as such, we need to be prepared for the days lessons so that we can participate in discussion and activities in a meaningful manner. We have to ensure that our watches are synchronised: there are no bells during the day to signify a change of lesson. This is all part of being independent learners, taking responsibility and ownership of our studies.

The typical IB student takes six academic subjects of their choice, one from each of the six groups of the IB hexagon, which is designed so that students gain a broad, well-rounded education. We must study two languages, science, mathematics and a humanities subject. We then have the choice of taking an additional arts, science or humanities subject to make up the full complement of six subjects.

E

the wonderful thing about being an iB student is that the programme is about far more

than just academic study

By Maurice dusault and alessandra Mariani

a day in the life of an iB student

more than work


If we take English as a first language, its very different from the subject we studied at Key Stages 3 and 4. Grammar rules and spelling are replaced with learning how to effectively analyse text. We have to be prepared to share our opinions and justify our views. Challenging? Yes, but at the same time a rewarding and enriching way to learn.

The old adage about maths is that you either love it or hate it. Even the less mathematically inclined would never believe how interesting doing an IB Mathematics Internal Assessment is! As for English, the old preconceptions about the subject vanish when we discover that mathematics is so much more than sums. We have to reason out problems, to give

rational explanations for our choice to opt for an algebraic instead of exponential equation. This rational journey is the key to mathematical success.

The IB promotes multilingualism, a pivotal characteristic of developing international- mindedness. All IB students have to study a second language. School offers us access


if youre more the artistic type,

you also have the chance to exhibit

your works at the end of each school year in your own art

exhibition


to many of the traditional languages, and our teachers patiently and methodically take us through the process. We know we will graduate with the ability to communicate meaningfully with people in countries all over the world.

The Treaty of Versailles, Single Party States, Nazi Germany, Fascist Italy, Communist Russia and Modern China these are some of the topics we tackle in History. Who could fail to be intrigued by such dynamic and relevant topics? History is no longer an endless dry list of dates and facts. The History classroom is an active and dynamic environment where were encouraged to debate and examine historical sources from many different perspectives. Who would have thought it such a fluid and vibrant subject? We have an extensive syllabus yet still find time to balance hard work with some educational fun preparing amusing skits of Tsarina Alexandras infatuation with Rasputin for our School Open Day.

Biology provides an insight into the workings of the human body and the stunning chemical reactions that take place inside each and every one of us at a cellular level. Who cannot be captivated for a full sixty minutes when exploring the extraordinary workings of organisms? Physics also covers a wide range of topics, from Astrophysics to Medical Physics. A world of scientific wonder awaits beyond the doors of the science laboratories.

Something that was completely new to us at the start of the course was Theory of Knowledge. Initially, we had no clue what all this was about. It quickly became apparent that this is a critical thinking course where we learn to examine what we think we know. In TOK, we learn to question everything, to look at things from different perspectives by asking questions and probing evidence, finally making an informed decision about what we accept into our own personal store of knowledge. The key to TOK success is participation coupled with an open mind and a willingness to consider any new idea. We are not forced to accept anything, but rather learn the process of examining concepts before making our own decisions about their validity. We soon realise that Theory of Knowledge applies to all our subjects. It is one of the most important application skills we learn in the diploma programme and it will give us a distinct advantage at university.

At the end of the formal school day, we have the opportunity to participate in extracurricular activities or organise

in toK, we learn to question everything, to look at things from different

perspectives by asking questions and probing evidence, finally mAKing an informed decision about what we

accept into our own personal store of knowledge


Maurice dusault and alessandra Mariani


we are enquirers, thinkers and

communicators who are knowledgeable,

principled, open-minded, caring, balanced and

reflective

our own self-directed CAS project. Creativity, Action and Service are mandatory requirements for the successful completion of the diploma. In addition, we must not fall behind on our Extended Essay deadlines so we arrange regular meetings with our Essay supervisors to discuss our progress. After a busy and stimulating day, we head home to hit the books for a few hours before falling into bed to catch a few hours of sleep before that alarm goes off again.

We know we might have scared you a little, but dont worry. The IB isnt only spikes and thorns. It only seems like that when all the deadlines are piling up. Its never all work and no play. If youre a musician, youll have ample opportunity to perform at school

and at city-wide talent shows and music festivals. If the school bands, ensembles and choirs already on offer do not appeal, were able to start our own groups as a self-directed CAS activity. If youre more of the artistic type who enjoys painting, taking photographs or creating sculptures, youll also have the chance to exhibit your work at the end of each school year in your own art exhibition, which is open to the general public. Last year, we participated in the school musical. Aside from providing us with extensive input for our CAS folders, this afforded us the experience and camaraderie of working as a team to achieve a challenging goal.

We dont forget to enjoy the unique experience of being teenagers. Were

reminded from time to time that the IB profile requires balance. So we aim to balance our school life and social life.

The aim of the IB Diploma Programme is to develop us into lifelong learners who are open to new possibilities, new ideas and different cultures. This programme is far more than a set of examinations: its a way of life centred on the ideals of the IB learner profile. We are enquirers, knowledgeable, thinkers, communicators, principled, open-minded, caring, balanced and reflective.


TO WHAT DEGREE SHOULD PARENTS GET INVOLVED: SHOULD IT ONLY BE UP TO THE CHILD?By liz stucke, university counsellor

WhAt role shoUld PArents PlAy in their childs University seArch Process?


n older teenager craves independence and yet still expects and needs the guidance

of parents. One moment theyre confident that they can conquer the world and make all decisions on their own, and the next theyre overwhelmed, wondering how theyll ever make all the decisions needed to get into the right university. This is where it gets confusing. Parents want to know the correct amount of involvement a parent should

Parents, ask yourself some tough questions. Do you want to wear the Cambridge sweatshirt when you play tennis with your friends? Sure, who wouldnt? But dig a bit deeper and get to what really concerns you about sending your child off to university. Not everyone has the same answer, but many parents have fairly similar issues. One parent recently said to me, I just want to make sure she makes it in the world, that after university she can either get a good job or has found that passion to follow a further course of study. I want her to find her place in the world. Other parents see university as a means to financial stability for their child success, independence and opening up more opportunities.

UNDERSTANDING EXPECTATIONS

have in the university application process.

Because each child is different and each parent-child relationship is different, its important to first assess both your and your childs expectations by asking the basic questions: What do I want for my child from a university education? What does my child want from a university education? Below are a few guidelines for how parents can encourage and support rather than add to the pressure.

older teenAgers crAve indePendence And yet still eXPect And need the gUidAnce of PArents

A

trintiy college, oxford

Whatever the reason, make sure you understand what it really is you want for your child. If its success and happiness you want for them, remember that success only comes when a person loves what theyre doing. A person that follows his or her passion is more likely to work hard and become committed to their field, with greater results, than someone struggling in a field they hate just to make more money.

Second, its important to have your son or daughter go through the same exercise independently. What are they looking for in a university experience? On the website www.thestudentroom.com.uk students were polled and rated these four factors in order of importance: 1) Course 2) Reputation of the university/league tables 3) Social concerns who you can get along with and 4) Location. Your child might already be doing this with their college counsellor, but if not get them to brainstorm and discuss what theyre looking for in their university experience. Many students I talk with are interested in finding the right course of study, but they also express other important factors:

finding that perfect place for their first experience living away from home

an education with a great reputation

a comfortable atmosphere with students that have similar interests or values, such as a love of the outdoors or perhaps a love of city life

opportunities to socialise with new friends

intellectual students that will challenge their thinking

opportunities to study with leading thinkers in their field of study or where famous politicians or scientists are frequent lecturers

Dont be worried if they dont know exactly what they want. This is meant to be a brainstorming list that they will revisit and revise again and again, as they gain a better understanding of what they want.

After parents and child have completed this brainstorming exercise on paper, listen to your childs interests first, and then very carefully explain your interests for your childs future. I say carefully, because as parents we tend to look way out into the future, seeing their path as far into the future as our own. Teenagers, on the other hand, are thinking more about the next few years. Saying that we want them to become financially independent can be interpreted by teenagers as Youre on your own, kid. Get a job, get a life, Im tired of paying your bills; when instead, what we really want is for them to grow into that confident self-reliant person who will feel great providing for themselves.

Its absolutely fine to discuss what a parent can and cannot afford and what help you expect the child to provide in financing their education. Its not alright to simply say, I want you to go to a top-20 university. Perhaps what youre really trying to say is that you want them to have every opportunity in life, and you want whats best for them. Remember that the surest path to success for most people is to follow their interests and skills. The most important part of this exercise is listening to their interests and what they want from their college experience, to get a realistic grasp of what theyre thinking.


Knowing where their interests lie, a parents role is to then provide their child with the support and encouragement they need. Thats easier said than done, as one new York times columnist wrote in a column about her daughters college application process. In response to one universitys recommendation to parents that support and encouragement are more appropriate than pressure and unsolicited advice she responded, I try hard to relieve her stress and dont say much unless asked. Well, most of the time. So what are some ways to offer support and encouragement without pressure and unsolicited advice? It always depends on your childs desire for this support. But if your child hasnt come home in their junior year (US) or Year 12 (UK) talking about the university application process, then you need to start the conversation. Here are some easy ways to offer support without the pressure.

ENCOURAGEMENT, NOT PRESSURE

UNIVERSITY VISITS

You dont have to make an appointment or do anything formal to visit a university. Just simply show up and walk around, especially if your teenager is on the feeling more pressure than support side of the equation. Then if time permits they can revisit universities that interest them, and make an appointment to sit in on a few classes and even talk to the admissions director. For parents of younger children, expose them to universities by visiting them in a casual way. Whenever we travel, my husband and I make it a point to visit a university. Universities usually have a great place to eat and a courtyard or park to take walks in. From an early age children can start getting a sense of what they like and dont like.

from An eArly Age children cAn stArt getting A sense of WhAt

they liKe And dont liKe


FRAMEWORK FOR NARROWING DOWN CHOICES

While its important that you allow your child to lead the process of researching and applying to universities, you can help them create a framework to narrow down the choices. Being an international student and seeing classmates apply to universities from all over the world can be overwhelming. There are so many universities to consider, where does one begin? Its easy to understand how students become paralysed with choice and avoid even beginning the process. Breaking it down into some manageable pieces can help start the process. A parent may suggest creating a spreadsheet and listing the various factors that the child feels strongly about, using this as a way to identify which universities match their interests. Here are some of the deciding factors that you can use to filter these choices.

Which country? Does your child want to go back to the country they were born in, or to the country of their current international school, or to another country altogether? This also determines whether they want to be close to their parents during this time or are fine living further away.

City or country? Small or large university? Are they more comfortable in a university where most of their life will be on campus: living quarters, meals, classes, shops? Or would they prefer a city-centre campus where the university is spread throughout a city and where city dwellers and university students intermingle (think Edinburgh)? Do they want access to a huge campus with diverse offerings (think University of California, Berkeley) or a smaller liberal arts college (think Colby College)?

Climate? While this is one of the last things people think should be involved in a university decision, it plays an important part in the emotional wellbeing of the student.

Course of study? If your child knows what they want to study than this makes it easier, but many students at the age of 18 dont know yet, and thats perfectly fine. These students will need to choose more liberal arts-focused universities to continue a more general education and then specialise in their third or junior year.

Social activities? Does social life revolve around a sorority, eating clubs, athletics? Does your child like the idea of attending a school with a big-name sports team (think American universities such as the University of Tennessee or the University of Florida)? Or would they prefer a university where the city and the arts are the source of social life and entertainment (think New York University or University College London)?

Cost and financial aid prospects? Will your son or daughter need to find a job to support their education? If so, ensure that this is permitted in the host country. Does the university provide some type of financial aid or scholarship opportunities?

These are just a few examples of deciding factors that a student might put on their university spreadsheet. This framework is merely a tool to give your child a meaningful way of narrowing down choices; its not a final tally sheet. It helps create the list. What wins out in the end is usually the emotional attachment a student has for a university. Sometimes that emotional attachment is not fully understood, but can just be described as it feels like the right place to go.Finally, the most important thing a parent provides is the emotional support needed during the roller coaster ride a teenager goes through

when contemplating their future. Help them stay above the fray of gossip and hurt feelings that can go on at school about who is assured a spot at Cambridge, or why a certain person got into a university and another did not. Help them understand that in this process they are likely to get some rejections, and that they will be disappointed with some of the outcomes. But also remind them that in rejection and chaos new opportunities arise that might not have existed before.

Of course, a teenager isnt always ready to hear this when they receive a rejection from the school of their dreams. But allow for the grief and then help them pick up the pieces and continue the search. Either they will indeed find a new university and direction, or they might decide to take a gap year and reapply, or attend another university, make great grades and then reapply. As most parents know, life takes many unexpected turns. Some turns are annoying detours, but there is always something to be learned and gained along the way.

its eAsy to UnderstAnd hoW stUdents Become PArAlysed With choice



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HELPINGWe do everything to support people and be useful to them, always keeping their best interests at heart.

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THRIVETo grow. To flourish. To learn. To be inspired. To stretch yourself further than you, or anyone else, thought possible. To experience more. To keep going, onwards and upwards, closer and closer to your aims and dreams.


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[email protected] www.nordanglia.com/bratislava

the britishinternational schoolBratislava, Slovakia


his question, which so many parents ask, is a complex one. However, there is another question that perhaps needs to be addressed first: namely, what

exactly is meant by the best universities?There is undoubtedly an elite group of universities that are renowned throughout the world: Oxford, Cambridge, Harvard, MIT, Yale. They are quite deservedly famous, have superb facilities, excellent teachers and in some instances a place at one of them does go a long way to guaranteeing a head start in ones chosen career.

t

www.nordanglia.com/bratislava

By Mark angus

some helPfUl Advice for PArents

Which University

for my child?is right


n addition, there are universities that have excellent reputations within their own countries but are perhaps not as well

known abroad: Seoul in Korea, Canberra in Australia, McGill in Canada, Leeds in England, Tokyo in Japan, Beijing in China (this list is far from exhaustive). These universities, and indeed many others, have the same standards in real terms as more internationally famous institutions.

However, there is another, perhaps more important question that parents should ideally be asking: Which is the best university for my child?

The choice of university is a very personal one not every student is suited to every institution. A wide variety of additional factors need to be considered alongside the schools academic reputation. Factors such as how comfortable a young adult would be living very far from home; the international nature (or otherwise) of the university town or city; the support services for international students; the availability of scholarships for international students all of these are important. Even seemingly irrelevant factors such as the weather can have a bearing on a students success and happiness it is not always straightforward for students from warm countries to travel somewhere very cold, for example, even to an extremely well thought-of university.

Many parents underestimate the effect of the social conditions at a university on the

academic progress of students. The drop-out rate for universities somewhat surprisingly runs at around 10 percent. Social support and friendship groups are hugely important for all students, even the most shy and retiring introvert. A university with a tradition of accepting students from all over the world may be more welcoming to students from diverse backgrounds than those that do not have such traditions. Even for a student attending university in their home country such matters can be important. Students from a particular location or background might find it easier to make friends and a have a better social network in one university than another.

A particular faculty and its reputation are also important considerations when making a choice and it should be borne in mind that in certain careers and professions it is undoubtedly true that the university one attends can influence future prospects and career. Thats why your choice should have as much to do with the specialties and excellence of the teaching staff in the field that youd like to enter as more general notions of reputation. For example, in the UK Leeds and Edinburgh are recognised as being superb medical centres of excellence and a degree from either is an excellent passport around the world despite their not necessarily being seen as elite institutions. Therefore, a key

I there is another, perhaps more important question

that parents should ideally be asking: Which is the best

university for my child?


issue for parents and students is getting quality information that is relevant to you and the courses you wish to study.

Another way in which to seek information is to ask the professionals. If your child is interested in design, call a design company and ask for their thoughts. The same with engineering, or medicine, or indeed any other career. Companies are in fact very willing to answer brief enquiries and a little flattery can go a long way. Of course, you cannot expect them to provide detailed careers advice, but they will often be very happy to say, Oh yes, I went to Madison University in Wisconsin as it has a superb biotechnology facility, or Of course, you must study history and politics at Beijing University as it has a superb reputation.

fees

curriculum and high school

Cost is a real issue for many parents. Sending a child to university is not simply a matter of paying the tuition fees. Accommodation, food, travel, books the costs mount up at a considerable rate. The cost of tuition is not always directly linked to the quality of education on offer, or indeed the reputation of the university in its home country. Careful research into the other indirect costs is vital when considering a university, even in ones home country, as costs can vary considerably from city to city. Financial aid, bursaries and scholarships are being offered

more and more and looking into these and what is on offer can make a considerable difference to the overall cost. In many cases, it can make the difference between being able to attend a first choice university or not.

The key factor here is to enquire early, in most cases some three to four years before the intended entry date. This is simply an issue of practicality as many scholarships have detailed requirements for entitlement that might involve a number of years of service to a particular institution or perhaps evidence of belonging to a particular community or service group. Sporting scholarships, artistic scholarships and even musical scholarships also often have such provisos attached. Many parents of talented musicians have made the mistake of thinking that scholarships are always handed out purely on the basis of artistic ability. This is sometimes sufficient but more and more often additional criteria must be met, and knowing what they are in good time will greatly increase the odds of financial aid being available. Furthermore, it is worth approaching a wider range of funding bodies than might be traditionally considered. Even in these credit crunch times, many large businesses and organisations will still have financial aid packages available for university students. Many do have strings attached, such as a requirement to work with the company for a period of time, but these strings might also be seen as benefits. One shocking fact is that each year 22 percent of scholarships remain unclaimed, mostly because no one has applied for them. A quick search of the Internet is

perhaps the best way to begin looking into the funding that might be available simply typing scholarship into Google produces over twenty-six million hits.

Universities themselves often have discretionary funds available to help undergraduates in times of financial hardship, but these are not available until the student is already enrolled and university finance managers take a very dim view of planned hardship, so beware!

Another way in which to seek information is to ask the professionals. if your child is interested in design, call a design

company and ask for their thoughts

Students today have many choices. By far the most popular choice for international school students is the IB Diploma, which is also the qualification of choice for many of the universities mentioned above, and students with the IB receive favoured applicant status at a number of high-profile institutions. Various national qualifications like the AP programme from the US or the A-level programme from the UK are of course still important in those (and other) countries and might still be a good option for a student who is only considering entry to that country, but the fact remains that the IB offers a far wider choice and should be considered a superior qualification purely in terms of university entrance. Even in the US and the UK, IB is often preferred to AP or A-level.

30 FAMILY MATTERS School Life

Academic grades play a huge part in the admissions process and there is no way around this


xcept in a very few rare cases, the high school which a student attends (or more specifically, the name of the school)

does not have any great implications in terms of university entrance. Of the many thousands of high schools around the world, only around ten have meaningful relationships with universities and these are all matters of local or historical tradition. The most important aspect of a high school career is rather the quality of the school in terms of its delivery of the curriculum and the care and attention to the students pastoral needs and careers guidance. Once again, a good school for your child is the key factor here. The school should nurture their interests and challenge them to do their best without promoting burn-out. You should also consider the pastoral care provided. Keeping a student on a good path and promoting good behaviour and manners is important. For universities with limited places, a school character report can make a very real difference between acceptance or not.

Participation in activities beyond strictly academic areas can often make the difference between being accepted and being rejected. This is especially true of those universities with more applicants than spaces available. The International Award, internships, community service, work experience and participation in school teams and sporting events can all make a vital contribution as to whether a student is accepted at the university of their choice.

Many universities around the world, even in non-English-speaking countries, offer courses in English. Therefore, very often a minimum standard of English proficiency must be achieved. The most popular around the world are IGCSE (from the University of Cambridge, Edexcel and OCR in the UK), TOEFL and IELTS. Some, but by no means all, universities have self-administered tests that can be taken instead of these qualifications but be aware that this is not frequently the case. Having a recognised qualification is generally the easiest (and often the only) way to open the door to the admissions process.

Mark Angus read English and Drama at Flinders University, Adelaide, where he specialised in Elizabethan and Jacobean theatre. He also has an MA in Early Modern Studies from Kings College, University of London, where his main focus of study was the repertories of 16th- and 17th-century playing companies. Further study included a Post-Graduate Diploma in Acting from Mountview

Theatre School, London, which was followed by six years as a professional actor in theatres throughout the UK. He gained his PGCE in Secondary English from the Open University and was previously the Academic Deputy Head at Westminster Cathedral Choir School in central London.He was at BISS from 2007 to 2011, becoming Principal in 2009. Mark Angus has written for the theatre and radio and published articles in a variety of journals on a diverse range of subjects, from Victorian crime to the theatre of Sophocles. His interests include literature, theatre, wine, sport and travel.

more than schooling, or a school that offers more

e

language

And finally

All the tricks, tips and hints in the world wont be able to bypass the one constant in

the process of finding and being admitted to the best universities. Academic grades play a huge part in the admissions process and there is no way around this. However, should your childs grades fall below the absolute optimum for any reason, dont despair. A gap year is no blemish on an application and, if well spent, can be a real asset. Using a gap year well and then retaking examinations that didnt go so well can be a very good use of time. Of course, not all retakes require a gap year and some can be done later in the same year. Also, dont forget that there are very many very good universities around the world that are perhaps not quite as famous as others and might have slightly lower requirements for entry. For some students these are not a poor second-place choice at all. A good school will of course give you sound advice on all possible avenues, from grades that exceed, meet or fall below expectations; you should at no point be left feeling alone.

one shocking fact is that each year 22% of scholarships remain

unclaimed, mostly because no one has applied for them

Mark AngusFormer principalthe British international school shanghai


with feedback on progress and inform development. It can be used to identify any areas which would benefit from extra attention on the part of the student, or extra support from academic staff. The methods used are less formal than a test or exam.

Formative assessment should be taking place all of the time in school, while summative assessments are more likely to happen on a term or end of unit basis. Good teachers are aware of a childs level throughout the year, and many schools embed a range of formative techniques and summative tests, constituting a key part of the schools ethos. Together, summative and formative assessment combine to provide a complete picture of a childs level and progress within the school.

have learnt at the end of the learning process. This assessment is seen in the form of tests. A number of different tests have been devised over the years to help assess pupils. British schools use a range of these in any given subject. However, the tests that most British schools use at the end of an academic year are called SATs (not to be confused with the American SAT test, which assesses suitability for university). SATs (Standard Assessment Tests) are given formally at the end of Year 2 and Year 6 and are used to show a childs progress and how they compare with other children born in the same year. Optional SATs are available for Years 3, 4 and 5, and schools may use these to identify a childs level at the end of the academic year. In this way you can be confident that a school using summative assessment will be keeping a close eye on your childs progress all the way through school.

The second type of assessment used is formative assessment. This is an ongoing aid to learning and is based on both the teachers and pupils assessment of where they are at a given moment and what they need to do to move forward. Its designed to provide learners

Throughout the world, a number of different levelling systems are used to help you know how your children are performing and how they compare to other children. Britain* and schools around the world following the British system base their teaching on the British National Curriculum. The National Curriculum was devised to standardise teaching in schools throughout Britain and, in turn, provide standardised ways of assessing pupils in order to make it easier to compare school success throughout the country.

In Britain, children are levelled throughout their school careers. All good international schools following the British system level children using the same methods. This ensures that teachers, and thus pupils, schools and parents, know what progress a pupil is making throughout the school year, as well as year on year. The British system of assessment can sound complicated, but its not as difficult as it might at first look.

There are two main types of assessment used in schools. Summative assessment allows teachers to see what the children

understanding assessment and levelsDo you really know how well your children are performing?

by christine armstrong


If your child is in a school following the British system with good formative and summative assessments in place, then their level will be clear. The final hurdle for parents unfamiliar with the British system lies in understanding the levels themselves.

In Primary School, the National Curriculum is split into five levels ranging from level 1 to a potential level 5. A general guide to where an average pupil will be throughout their primary school life is shown in the table to the right.

By the end of Year 6, when pupils finish primary school, the average child will be a Level 4.

Each level can be split into three sub-levels: a, b and c. Sub-level c represents a child who is only just managing to work within the level; b represents a child working securely within the level; and a represents a child working towards the next level. For example, an average Year 2 child should be a 2b by the end of the year, indicating theyre working securely within the level 2 range. An average Year 6 child is expected to be working at level 4b, and so would be working securely within level 4.

The table to the right gives an outline of the sub-level a child should be at by the end of each year in primary school.

While these levels and sub-levels are used to help assess how children are performing and the progress being made, it should be stressed that theyre indicators only. Finding that a child is working below or above these sub-levels tells a story that implies something may need to be addressed. In some cases this may lead to extra support and provision through the Gifted & Talented programme, or through additional learning support. Other factors, such as English as a second or third language or settling into a new school or country, also influence where a child is at any given moment in time.

Its the duty of teachers and schools to use their expertise to consider everything in context to best meet the needs of the pupils within their care, and to make sure that all pupils make excellent progress in school.

*For the purpose of this article, Britain refers to England, Wales and Northern Ireland, as Scotland uses an alternative curriculum system.

Good teachers are aware of a childs level throughout the year, and many schools embed a range of formative techniques

Levels Average Age of Child

Development Matters & Early Learning Goals

2-5-year-olds, working towards a Level 1

Level 1 Average for 5-6-year-olds




Level 5 Above average 11-year-olds

Year Group Age of Child Sub-Level Target

1 5-6 1b

2 6-7 2b

3 7-8 2a/3c

4 8-9 3c/3b

5 9-10 3a/4c

6 10-11 4b or above

Bansk BystricaBratislavaDunajsk StredaKomrnoKoiceMartinMichalovceNitraNov ZmkyPieanyPreovPrievidzaSenecamornTrennTrnavailina

P o k a d e j s t r n k e v i a c

A bookshopwhere you can relax

Pant

a R

hei

Visit the chain of Panta Rhei bookshops offering a wide range of books of various genres as well as books in English, including DVDs and CDs.

Take a breather at our Caf Dias shops and enjoy coffee from around the world, or a tasty cake.

The paints, special materials and painting tools offered in the DaVinci workshops wont just be enjoyed by the children!

www.pantarhei.sk

Panta_208x279.indd 1 15.6.2011 12:51:36


Personalising learningBy dr terry creissen

If you really want to make the right choice of school for your children, you need to be aware of how the school meets their individual needs. With a class of pupils, how can we really guarantee that all children are stretched and supported in developing their skills, knowledge and understanding so that they remain motivated and passionate learners?

There are many ways in which schools try to make the learning experience individualised to pupils. Perhaps the best way is one-to-one tutoring, but there are many other ways that teachers can group pupils to ensure that they are challenged and stretched on an individual basis. Some schools choose to select their pupils on entry through testing, similar to many private schools in the UK and elsewhere. Others offer a streaming approach which classifies learners as high, average or low ability. This approach is, in my view, fundamentally flawed because it fails to recognise that there are different skills required to be good at maths compared with English. Branding them through selective education or streaming fails to recognise their individual talents and fails to support their specific areas of development. Similarly, relying on mixed ability can be harmful because few teachers

can manage the individual needs of pupils effectively in broad ability groupings. Professor Eric Bolton, the former Chief Inspector of Schools in England, said that in classes where no setting takes place, Most teachers aim for the middle: the bright children are frustrated and the ones at the bottom get left behind.

This is why many school have adopted a more flexible approach through setting. This targets pupils at different abilities in different subjects. Children are tested to find out their innate abilities and then placed in sets tailored to their learning needs.

The problem with any approach that groups children by ability is that children do not always progress in their understanding at a fixed and steady rate. In the same way that they have physical growth spurts, children also experience mental growth spurts. One minute they are half the size of their parents and before you realise it, they are towering over us. The learning process is not an exact science and many children experience a series of eureka moments when they suddenly make the breakthrough in a specific area. Teachers see this regularly in lessons when children just seem to finally get it. A problem that

they have not been able to master suddenly becomes clear, and they make a great leap forward in their understanding. So, even with a setting system, there needs to be flexibility throughout the academic year to ensure that children can move easily between sets, based on their progress. This requires teachers to make continuous assessments of the abilities and progress of all pupils in their classes, coupled with formalised tests and questioning to check understanding along the way. This progress needs to be carefully tracked and measured against standardised assessments to ensure that the teachers assessments are in line with other staff. In the UK, this was previously managed through the Standardised Assessment Tests (SATs) but good schools prefer a more regular, termly assessment to ensure that their judgements on individual pupils are accurate.

So, when you visit a school, ask them how they ensure that children in classrooms are monitored and assessed to ensure that theyre making the right level of progress, and ask how they provide additional support to children who are experiencing difficulties with their learning. Check to see if they have a learning support teacher who can sometimes work with children on an individual basis for a short period of time to overcome barriers to success in the education system. If theyre using a setting system, check to see if there are systems in place to ensure consistency in marking and termly checks to guarantee that learning growth spurts are rewarded and that areas of concern are quickly addressed. Only by asking the right questions can you be sure that your children will be given the chance to thrive and be the best that they can be.


Why is it important to learn

ou dont need to be fluent on an instrument to reap the benefits of learning music. Simply humming your own tune or listening to your favourite music can instantly

bring on a smile. Music gives people the confidence to step up to their peers and perform with their own interpretation and feelings. Music gives people the opportunity to lead and work as a team. Music can help to define a nations culture and shape communities. Music can help to characterise moods and is proven to help heal the body. In short, music features in everyones life in some form or another, so learning about music can be extremely beneficial in shaping a persons future, attitude and work skills.

By heather BrownMusic teacher

mUsic?

confidence and self-esteem leadership, management and teamwork

How many times have you been nervous when delivering that presentation to the executive board, taking charge of a meeting or speaking in front of the class? Having the confidence to perform in front of others, either solo or in a group, is an invaluable skill that can be transferred into nearly every school subject and area of life. Music gives you ample opportunities to perform on many

Y different levels. This may be performing your own composition, or singing while acting a role on stage. Perhaps you will perform to the class, or maybe to the whole school perhaps even on television. Performing allows you to develop the skills needed to face an audience, make mistakes and deal with those mistakes under pressure. Performing also gives you the chance to learn about your audience, discovering how to engage and interact with them. Reading an audience can be crucial in clinching that deal or selling your product, summing up to the jury or breaking news of a life-threatening condition to a patient. Performance skills are easily transferable to other subjects and situations, and music is one of the simplest platforms for improving these skills.

Many jobs today require leadership, management and teamwork. Being part of a musical group can help to advance these skills in a fun and creative way. Learning to be a principal player in an orchestra, lead trumpeter in a jazz band or front man in a rock band gives you the opportunity to take responsibility for others in


if i were not a physicist, i would probably be a musician. i often think in music. i live my daydreams in music. i see my life in terms of

music. i get most joy in life out ofmusic.Albert Einstein

culture

community

the group, manage rehearsals and build a positive and healthy team attitude. Management skills, deciding who gets to perform what solo when or which piece to play at which concert, are crucial. Decisions have to be made in all areas of life, and making sure everyone is catered for while enjoying themselves and improving their skills is a fundamental management skill found in nearly every profession. Opportunities to develop such transferrable skills are abundant throughout all kinds of music activities, at all ages, from the recorder ensemble in primary right through to the senior choir. Creating an ensemble together teaches you to accept ideas from others, implement your own ideas and learn to compromise, and demands negotiation and discussion skills from all members of thegroup.

Every culture shares some common features and celebrations such as weddings, funerals and birthdays, and music can be the one thing to gel them all together. You dont have to speak another language to be able to jam or perform with someone. You dont have to be fluent in German or Italian to enjoy listening to Mozarts operas. Music can help children to understand the values

of others and the way their cultures and nations think. Through performing, listening and composing their own Christmas, New Year, Divali and Thanksgiving music, for example, children can learn the similarities and differences of music from cultures around the world and appreciate their richness and diversity. It also helps children to define their own identity.

Music also gives people a chance to work across the age groups, religions and races. People from different walks of life get the chance to meet others, not only within their own school or community, but also through wider regional, national and international competitions, school trips and regional orchestras. For children, there are also national youth initiatives such as the National Youth Orchestra of Great Britain. Children get to work with adults both in and out of school hours in a professional capacity. All these opportunities help children develop their sense of relationship with people and their varying roles within the community. Furthermore, performing in the community allows children to become a greater part of it and, in some ways, define it. Look at music of the recent past, for example. Music from the


students who can perform complex rhythms can also make faster and more precise corrections in many academic and physical situations.

center for training and Motor skills, 2000


one group of elementary

students received musical training, while another group

received an equal amount of discussion

skills training. After six months,

the students in the music

group achieved a significant

increase in reading test scores, while the reading

test scores of the discussion

skills group did notchange

Journal of research in reading, 1994

both war and peace, and bold political statements, all of which helped to define certain eras. For instance, Live Aid in 1985 was perfect proof of how powerful music can be in linking communities around the world and helping to achieve a common goal.

In addition, music has been proven to affect the brain. Research done by the American Music Therapy Association and the British Music Therapy Association has shown that a strong beat and/or a change in tempo can bring about changes in brain waves, heart and breathing rates and memory. These changes can be used to relax the body and help it deal with stress. Listening to music has also been linked with improving the symptoms of people with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), Parkinsons Disease and Alzheimers.

so, how can i learn more about music?

so what can learning music do for you?

Its easy! Depending on where you are in the world, most schools have a music programme in some form or another, either embedded in the curriculum or as a programme allowing extra lessons or activities around school hours. Lunchtime activities and extracurricular activities after school and at weekends provide ample opportunities for children and adults to get involved. Staff bands are also open to parents and friends.

Music improves your mind and body, develops your knowledge and understanding of different cultures and gives you a bank of key transferable skills. And if nothing else, music is fun!

40 FAMILY MATTERS ASK THE EXPERTS

Every family, when coming to a new country, may at some point require domestic help or a nanny for the children. The household services system differs from country to country and varies according to local tradition. Its not always easy to find the right domestic help. What needs to be taken into consideration and which steps need to be taken?

The current system of services in Slovakia offers two main alternatives. In the first case, its mostly students or older ladies coming to your home. The choice is usually based on references or theyre chosen from online ads. Theres no work contract and no insurance between the two parties, but the price is usually more favourable. In the second case, the services are offered by an agency. The parties sign a formal contract and the agency takes full responsibility for both the employees and the insurance. In this case as well, its necessary to consider references, the history of the company and in the end the overall impression you get of the agency.

These are the questions you should ask yourself before you decide on a service provider:

important in the case of babysitting services. If you require babysitting regularly, its most likely that your preferred sitter will not always be available, so its always good to have a back-up. In the case of a nanny, you need to have a clear picture of the scope of her duties. Will driving a car, picking up the children from school or nursery, cooking or doing the laundry be part of the job? Do you plan on taking the nanny with you on family trips or holidays?

If you dont speak Slovak, consider whether the nanny must speak your language fluently, or if an intermediate

level is sufficient. You might wish the nanny to speak Slovak to your children as this could help to familiarise them with the new country.

experience says that its likely she will be less flexible and will have her own ways. Sometimes their age doesnt allow them to do more demanding tasks and they get tired sooner.

As for a nanny, apart from references, you will probably be interested in her character and her special abilities which she could use to motivate your children. Think about what you would like her to be able to do, e.g. play the piano or the violin. Jot down a list of at least eight features that your nanny should definitely have and then scratch half of them out. Its unlikely that youll find Ms Perfect Nanny, but

What are my requirements?

Whats my idea of an ideal domestic helper?

Think about the frequency of the services needed. Decide whether its sufficient for you to have your home cleaned once a week or if youd prefer to have it done more often. Furthermore, contemplate the scope of services and try to estimate the time frame in which this work can realistically be done. You can estimate the time frame at the beginning and finalise it after a couple of visits of the cleaner to your house.

Prepare a list of work to be done and decide what will be part of the cleaning. Will ironing, window cleaning, doing the laundry be part of it? How often do you want the furniture in your library to be dusted, and how often do you need the porcelain inherited from your grandparents to be cleaned?

Setting the timeframe is also

The cleaners experience and references are, of course, the deciding factor, as well as her flexibility and willingness to adjust to the clients requirements. Decide whether you prefer to employ a younger lady or an older woman. When you choose the latter, our

household services

By roomservice

how to choose the right domestic helper

41FAMILY MATTERSASK THE EXPERTS

at least you can attempt to find someone who is close to your idea of one.

Its also not uncommon that one person takes care of both your cleaning and your children.

claim your money back in case of negligence or any damage caused by either the nanny or the cleaner.

the day of service and is paid in cash. If you decide to employ a helper through an agency, the prices are in the range of 6 to 8 Euros per hour. You have to also take into consideration extra charges for the language skills of the helper.

If you have a clear idea of how many hours of service you require and you know the hourly rate of the helper, it is very easy to calculate how much it will cost you. Do not hesitate to ask for a discount if you require a greater number of hours.

You have to understand that the actual process of choosing will take time. It is always best if

someone close to you can help with the choice (your spouse, a friend or even your children). Despite the effort, its possible youll find yourself making some compromises.

Start with choosing at least two or three candidates. Dont get over-excited by a positive first impression. If you like a person at the first meeting, arrange a second meeting a little later. When it comes to the cleaning ladies, their references will tell you a lot. Its best if they provide you with a contact for a company or an agency they have worked for in the past. This way you dont have to be afraid that the contact detail they have given you is a friend who will pick up the phone and talk positively about them. You can contact the HR department of the company they worked for, or call the agency at the phone number you find on their website. Ask them if they were happy with the work of the candidate and, if she doesnt work there anymore, ask why.

Plan to come to the first meeting with a potential nanny together with your partner, or your children, and try to meet at a place where you spend a lot of time (childrens playground, climbing frame and so on). After the meeting, compare your opinions; its possible theyve noticed something you havent.

Ask lots of questions during the interview and dont hesitate to ask about her family or what she likes to do with children. A good hint for you could be the answers to questions like: What kind of games did you like playing when you were a child? Which toys did you like? Were your parents strict or lenient?

If the candidate is an experienced nanny, ask her specifically about the games she likes to play with children. Ask her what she doesnt like, what kind of work she doesnt fancy and what she does in order to avoid it. This way you can get a clear picture of her character, her work attitude and her behaviour in situations she finds challenging. Dont avoid unpleasant topics. Try not to be sceptical during the dialogue, and beware first impressions. Improvise and ask about the

What will be at their disposal?

how much do you plan on investing in the domestic helper?

Think thoroughly about what she will have at her disposal. Are you going to give her your house keys or the family car? Since a stranger will be in your house on a regular basis, insist on signing a proper contract and having an insurance policy. This will give you the chance to

The price for the work of a domestic helper is calculated based on the actual service hours. If you decide to use a cleaner without a contract, the price varies between 4 and 7 Euros per hour; the price for an hour of babysitting can be anything between 4 and 8 Euros. The payment is usually due on

Untitled-1 1 18. 5. 2011 17:19:46


or save time by using an established and recommended agency, particularly if you want to avoid challenges connected with proving wilful neglect or not keeping to the verbal agreement.

Clear rights and duties of the client and the service provider are parts of the agreement. These can be adjusted based on the mutual agreement. Insist on domestic helper insurance being part of the contract too.

We recommend that for the first meeting you come to the premises of the agency, where you get the information first-hand. During this meeting you should have a chance to see order forms, general terms of agreement and candidates profiles. You may be able to choose a candidate right there on the spot. This kind of system will save you a lot of time and the chosen candidate can start working for you in the next couple of days.

Another part of the agreement is a domestic helper exchange system that ensures that if a helper is sick, on holiday or affected by an unexpected event, she is replaced by another candidate within an agreed time period.

The decision is yours, and finding the right person to help you maintain your household and take care of your children is going to make your life easier and allow you to spend more quality time with

your family. Remember that first its most important to make sure you yourself have clear requirements in mind, and then to communicate them to the service provider. After establishing the working relationship with the domestic helper its also important to further maintain this relationship in order for both parties to be happy.

Dont hesitate to visit our website, www.roomservice.sk, for more information on how to find a nanny or a cleaner for your home. Please email us at [email protected] or phone us at 0904 407400 (Ms Matuskovicova) or 0911 661417 (Ms Bakanova).

Advantages of a work contract

When youve chosen a domestic helper,

agree on a trial period of one or two months, after which you can re-evaluate your arrangement

details that come up during the discussion.

If you feel youve found the right person, check her background. You can ask for a security background check or check the validity of her ID by running the ID number through this website: www.minv.sk/?stratene-a-odcudzene-doklady.

When youve chosen a domestic helper, agree on a trial period of one or two months, after which you can re-evaluate your arrangement. Both parties have the right to terminate the arrangement. If you agree on specific hours of work, stick to them. If you happen to change or cancel work times, you might find yourself going through the same selection process again.

Upon signing a contract with a nanny, dont forget to inform her about any health issues and anything she should be aware of, so that theres no room for misunderstanding. Dont forget that the helper must respect you. If this isnt the case, search some more. As time goes by, youll find that you will appreciate the time you spent looking for a new, reliable and skilful helper.

Dagmar Matuskovicova

owner of roomserviceBratislava, slovakia

Dasa graduated with a degree in Pedagogy and Chemistry, and also has a degree in Biotechnology. She gained valuable experience by working with children in a foster home, at reeducation houses and by teaching at high schools. Later, she specialised in Internet marketing and personal management. After three years in this field she again returned to work with children and tutoring, which triggered her to

establish the company RoomService as a family service including household services like cleaning and senior care. The main idea of RoomService is to simplify clients lives, help them with their housekeeping and take some of the stress off of being a parent. Dasa believes that each family, child and senior deserves an individual and sensitive approach. Thorough selection of the appropriate helper in the household is vital, since they become a part of the family.

We recommend that you either sign a proper contract with your domestic helper

44 FAMILY MATTERS ASK THE EXPERTS

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Dealing with the process of moving your family into or out of Slovakia can be a daunting task. There is the sea of documents to complete in a very foreign language, the need to face intimidating state officials in antiquated state offices, a complex and draconian bureaucracy derived from the former communist era. Add in the pressures of uprooting your family to a new location and it can be a recipe for panic.

As someone who has worked in moving and relocation over the past six years, I have helped hundreds of families deal with the stresses of moving internationally; and as an American who has stared down the process of becoming registered in Slovakia firsthand, Ive got my own stories to tell.

Simply knowing what to expect and getting assistance from people who know the way the system works can turn the experience from a potential nightmare into a simple step-by-step process, allowing you

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