Brahmin MarriageOur marriage is an elaborate, colorful ceremony marked by traditional rituals which are filled with fun.

EngagementOnce the match is finalized, an engagement function is held on an auspicious day in the groom's house and the two parties mutually agree on the proposal. This agreement is solemnized with exchange of Thaamboolam (banana, coconut and betel leaf). The Bride and Groom are gifted clothes.

Sumangali PrarthanaiThis ceremony is held prior to the marriage at both bride's place and groom's place. The function is performed to get the ashirwad of the ancestors.

Samaarathanai

Any puja done without involving the Family God (Kula Deivam) is futile. So Samaradanai is performed to please the Kula Deivam.

Yatra DhanamOffering of coconut is made to Lord Ganesha for a safe journey to and from Marriage Hall by both the families.

VirathamA 'Viratham' is performed for a problem free marriage. Traditional Vedic hymns are recited by the parents of both and officiated by a priest for blessings of the family deity and all their ancestors

Naandi ShraarthamAs a symbol of the souls of the ancestors of both sides, 8-10 Brahmins are invited. Their blessings are sought and they are honoured with gifts of pan-supari, fruits, flowers, coconuts, sweets.

The day before MarriageOn the day prior to the marriage, the groom's party arrives at the venue. This marks the commencement of the actual marriage rituals. They are received with Nadaswaram (music), and a tray containing offerings of flowers, pan supari, fruits and sugar nuggets. The bridegroom is welcomed by a sprinkle of rose-water, a tilak and a garland by the bride's brother. Elder ladies (married) perform an arti.

Paalikai Thelithal

After Viratham, Paalikai thelithal is performed by both the families. According to this ritual clay pots are decorated with sandal paste, kumkum powder and filled with little curd and nine types of grains and watered by 5-7 married ladies from both sides. The day after marriage, these pots with (now) sprouted grains are thrown into a nearby pond by the newly wed couple. It is believed that the fish in the water will eat the sprouted grains and bless the newly wed.

Jaanavasanam (inviting the groom)

One of the most vibrant functions is the Janavasanam. The groom travels in an open car with all other relatives walking along with trays of flowers, fruits etc, and visit the nearby temple where an 'archanai' is performed. The bride's party reaches there carrying 5 varieties of sweets and clothes for the groom. One of the sweets must be the traditional conical sweet Parupputenga. On return to the marriage hall, is the Nischayathartham.

Nischayathartham

With the parents of the bride, the priest performs Ganesh Pooja. The bride sits in the venue and the groom's party presents her a new sari after applying a tilak. The pallav of her sari is filled with fruits, pan supari, turmeric, kumkum, coconut and flowers and tied around her waist. An arti is performed.

Mangalasnanam (Auspicious bath)

Early in the morning of the marriage day, an auspicious hour is chosen for a ceremonial bath for the bride and the groom, called the Mangalasnanam.

The bride and groom sit separately on low wooden planks placed over rangolis, between their respective parents and are anointed with turmeric, kumkum and oil. The ladies perform arti.

The bride's mother gifts a 9 yard maroon sari to the bride and a dhoti to the groom to be worn for the actual marriage ceremony.

The day of Marriage

Kashi Yatra (Pilgrimage to Vaaranasi/Banaras)

The Kashi Yatra is a lighthearted ritual with the groom pretending to get angry and threatening to go to Kashi on a pilgrimage. He carries a walking stick, an umbrella, a fan, a coconut, a small packet of rice and dal, and a dhoti. The bride's parents plead symbolically, for his return. The bride's brother woos him back offering his sister's hand in marriage. The groom is then escorted back by the bride's brother shading him with the umbrella.

This depicts a symbolic transition of the groom from the brahmacharya aasramam into grahasthaasramam. Many things restricted to brahamchaaris are allowed in grahasthaasramam, like wearing footwear, use of an umbrella, using cosmetics (like eye liners, fragrances etc.). So, during Kaasi Yaathrai, the groom is allowed to use all the things that are not allowed during brahmacharyam. This is also called "Samaavarthanam".

On his return the groom is seated and the bride's mother washes his feet with water, chandan and kumkum .

Maalai maatral (Exchange of Garlands)

The bride and groom are hoisted by their maternal uncles on their shoulders and exchange garlands three times.

Normally, wearing the garland worn by some one else is not allowed. But, in a wedding, the man and the woman exchange their garlands - symbolic of that they have two bodies with one life from now on. The fragrance associated with the garlands symbolizes the inner fragrance of the groom and bride (vasanas) for which both have to adjust with each other.

Oonjal (Swing)

The bride and the groom are then made to sit side by side on a swing for the Oonjal ceremony.

Small balls of cooked rice coloured yellow and red with turmeric and kumkum are circled around the bride and groom thrice in clockwise and anticlockwise direction and then thrown in all four directions to ward off evil forces. A mixture of milk and banana is given to the bride and the groom 3 times. They then take the remaining rice balls and come around the couple along with older women holding alternately, a lamp and a water urn.

The chains that support the swing, coming down from the ceiling, represent symbolically that this human body we have got is due to our Karma in previous births. Similarly, the swing's motion forward and backward tells the couple that they have to be strong together in life at times of both upward and downward movement in life.

Oonjal Pattu songs speciallyworded for this occasion are sung through out.

Kanyadaanam

Marriage is at the auspicious hour (mostly in the mornings) and takes place in a decorated mandapam with a sacred fire. The bride wears a silk saree, flowers on her hair and jewels given to her by her parents and the groom's family.

The father of the bride welcomes the groom and washes his feet. The groom's family presents the bride with the 9 yard marriage sari, which symbolizes energy, passion and fertility. The action also signifies "henceforth in this lifetime I (groom) will buy you, your clothes".

The girl's father is made to sit on a sack of paddy which symbolizes material and spiritual plentitude in the marriage. The girl is seated on father's lap. Then the yoke of a plough is touched to the bride's forehead. This symbolizes that just as two bullocks are required to carry the plough and work and till the fields, so also will she and her husband remain side by side to go through life. The bride's father gives away the bride to the groom. This is called the Kanyadaanam

Paani GrahanamBefore the practice of Maangalya Dhaaranam, Paanikgrahanam used to be the main event of the wedding. The bride groom holds bride's right hand and recites the marriage vows in four mantras. He prays Agni the God of fire, Saraswathi the Goddess of knowledge and Vayu the Lord of wind for blessings, long life and congruence of mind. By holding the hands in public, they indicate to the world that their hearts are set to live together in harmony.

Maangalya Dharanam

Maangalyam is called as Thali in Tamil. Thali is made of two syllables. The first syllable Tha and the second syllable Ni represent that Than veru Nee Veru Alla (i.e., you and I are not separate. We are in this together). This Thani in colloquial usage became Thali. When the Thali is tied around the neck of the bride, they normally put three knots. The three knots symbolizes Brahma, Vishnu and Rudhra.

The thali (mangalsutra) consists of two pieces, one from each family, traditionally dangling on a yellow thread. It contains images of either the Shiva Lingam (in the case of Iyers) or the Namam and Sudarshana Chakra (in the case of Iyengars).

Thali is of two types. The first type has saw tooth at the bottom and the second one has a semi-spherical shape. The second one is called a "Pottu". They also call it as Tortoise Thali, since it has a shape of the back of a tortoise.

The elders bless the thali and then the groom ties the first two knots of the mangalsutra around the bride's neck (while she is sitting on her father's lap). The groom's sister ties the third knot.

Sapthapadhi

Sapthapadhi constitutes the chief element of the marriage. The groom holds the bride's right hand with his right, his shawl is tied to her sari pallav, and they go around the sacred fire seven times.

He takes hold of the right foot of the bride and makes her take seven consecutive steps where the bride touches her feet to a grinding stone (ammi). This symbolizes that their union be as stoic, solid and steadfast as stone.

While taking each step, groom has to recite a Vedic verse (mantra):

1. We take the first step to provide for a happy and healthy home. 2. We take the second step to develop physical, mental and spiritual powers.3. We take the third step to increase our wealth by diligence and righteousness. 4. We take the fourth step to acquire knowledge, happiness and harmony by mutual love and trust.5. We take fifth step so that we are blessed with strong, virtuous and loving children.6. We take the sixth step to promise to care for each other for a long life together.7. Finally, we take the seventh step to be true companions and remain partners by this marriage.

They further vow that if you are Rig Veda, let me be the Sama Veda. If you are Booloka(earth), let me be the heaven. If I am bright, you wear the rays from my brilliance. If I am the mind, you are the word. So, please come and join me. Let us give a very good progeny to this world. This declaration is the whole theme behind Sapthapadhi.

Then the bride is taken to the north side of the sacred fire and is asked to put her right foot on the 'ammi'. The groom holds her right toe and puts toe rings.

Arundathi Paarthal (Looking at Dhruva and Arundathi Stars)

In the middle of the milky way (Saptha Rishi Mandalam), Arundhathi is a subtle star. At the bottom of the milky way, the brightest star called Dhruva is located. In english, it is called the Pole Star. The Pole Star remains stationary at the same place irrespective of the earth's movement.

The saptha rishis representing the milky way are 1. Kasyapar, 2. Athri, 3. Bharadwaajar, 4. Viswaamitrar, 5. Gauthamar, 6. Jamathagni and 7.Vasishtar. The wives of saptha rishis are known as Krithika. The other six krithika consider Arundhathi as the Pathivrathaa Sironmani.thus by seeing the Arundhathi star, it is believed that the bride will be as chaste as Arundhathi. So, the groom is supposed to show the Star to the bride.

There is an arti and everyone showers rice and flowers on the couple and blesses them. The bridal pair prostrate before their parents and elders for their blessings to have good progeny and long life.

Mangala Arti

At the conclusion of the marriage function, they take Mangala Arti for the wedded couple. In this they mix lime and turmeric powder in water and take it around the couple three times. This is supposed to ward off any evil cast on the couple.

This concludes the marriage rituals according to Vedas under Braahman system.

Nalangu

Some have a 'Nalangu' ceremony, in which the bride sings a suitable song and invites the groom to the ceremony. She applies green, turmeric and reddish paint to his feet. The groom reciprocates the same. Then she applies sandal paste to his body. He adorns her with flowers, she shows him a mirror. Both of them play a game with a ball of flowers and eat some sweets. For each part of the ceremony, a suitable song is sung.

Age does not mar the beauty of marriages nor do the customs stale their infinite variety! Brahman marriages thus involve traditions, spread love and shower happiness among all concerned.

Age does not mar the beauty of marriages nor do the customs stale their infinite variety! Brahman

marriages thus involve traditions, spread love and shower happiness among all concerned.