Boys in Crisis
Transcript of Boys in Crisis
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Hear Our Cry:
Boys in Crisis Paul D. Slocumb, Ed.D.
Student Support
Services
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Clock Partners/Cornell Notes
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Describe the characteristics
of the “ideal” student in
class. Identify the physical characteristics.
Identify the emotional characteristics.
Identify the cognitive characteristics.
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Describe the characteristics
of the “challenging”
student in class. Identify the physical characteristics.
Identify the emotional characteristics.
Identify the cognitive characteristics.
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Cognitive
Social
Emotional
Physical
Implications for Boys
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The Boy Crisis
Fact or Fiction
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1. Do you believe there is a “boy
crisis?” Why or why not?
2. How would you compare boys’
and girls’ performance in your
school?
3. Think of a boy who struggled this
school year.
Introductory Questions
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• For every 100 girls suspended from public elementary and
secondary schools, 250 boys are suspended.
• For every 100 girls expelled from public elementary and
secondary schools, 335 boys are expelled. http://nces.ed.gov/programs/digest/d04/tables/dt04_144.asp
• For every 100 girls diagnosed with a special education
disability, 217 boys are diagnosed with a special education
disability.
• For every 100 girls diagnosed with a learning disability, 276
boys are diagnosed with a learning disability.
• For every 100 girls diagnosed with emotional disturbance,
324 boys are diagnosed with emotional disturbance. http://www.iteachilearn.com/uh/meisgeier/statsgov20gender.htm
School Statistics
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Humble Statistics
Humble has 3081 special education students:
2,114 males vs. 967 females
688 students have been assigned OSS:
-General Education: 505 males vs. 183 females
-Special Education: 115 males vs. 21 females
1,997 students have been assigned ISS:
-General Education: 1391 males vs. 606 females
-Special Education: 210 males vs. 57 females
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From elementary school through
high school, boys tend to receive
lower grades than girls do.
Eighth-grade boys are retained
50% more often than eighth-grade
girls.
By the time they reach high
school, boys account for more
than two-thirds of the students in
special education.
Boys’ Statistics
From: Real Boys by William Pollack, Ph.D.
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Stereotypical Myths
Find your 3 o’clock appointment
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Activity
• I’m from _____________ and people think
that I ___________________.
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Stereotypical myths inhibit
any group from
developing its full range of
potential.
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Gender Stereotypes
Girls Boys
“Sugar-n-spice” “Snips-n-snails”
Sweet Tough
Dependent Leaders
Arts vs. science and math Don’t cry!
Can’t be smarter than boys Aggressive
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Myths of Boyhood
Shape the Realities
of Manhood
Tears
Being strong
Being sexually active
Winning
Housework
Cars
Tall vs. short
Stocky, muscles
Food
Cursing
Fighting
Academics
Reading books
Playing sports
Art, dancing, music
Expressing feelings
Acknowledging physical pain
Being neat
Girl thing? Guy thing?
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• For every 100 American women who earn an associate’s
degree, 67 American men earn the same degree.
• For every 100 American women who earn a bachelor’s
degree, 73 American men earn a bachelor’s degree.
• For every 100 American women who earn a master’s
degree, 62 American men earn the same degree.
• For every 100 American women who earn a doctoral
degree, 92 American men earn the same degree.
http://nces.ed.gov/programs/digest/d04/tables/dt04_268.asp
College Statistics
(2003)
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School Males Enrolled Females Enrolled
U of H 50% 50%
UT 40% 60%
Baylor 59% 41%
Texas State University 44.7% 55.3%
Sam Houston State 42% 58%
Texas Tech 54.9% 45.1%
A&M 47.9% 52.1%
Texas College Stats (2015)
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Males significantly
outnumber females in
acts of aggression.
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Testosterone
Levels of testosterone vary as a result of
aggression. Testosterone is not the cause
of the aggression.
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Number of Inmates Held in State or Federal Prisons, or in Local Jails, by
Gender, Race, Hispanic Origin, and Age, June 30, 2008
(Page 155)
Males Females
Age Total White Black Hispanic Total White Black Hispanic
Total 2,103,500 712,500 846,000 427,000 207,700 94,500 67,800 33,400
18–19 86,300 26,500 37,100 18,400 5,500 2,200 1,500 1,300
20–24 353,100 104,000 148,500 83,300 30,800 13,900 9,000 6,300
25–29 354,600 99,900 148,800 87,100 32,000 14,200 10,100 6,000
30–34 331,400 103,400 132,100 76,400 35,400 16,000 11,600 6,000
35–39 308,500 107,200 124,500 57,300 38,800 18,000 13,200 5,400
40–44 277,200 107,700 107,400 43,500 32,600 14,600 11,700 4,000
45–49 185,600 72,400 73,900 29,000 18,200 8,100 6,600 2,200
50–54 96,600 40,200 37,100 14,500 8,000 4,100 2,300 1,000
55–59 50,200 24,300 15,800 7,900 3,300 1,800 700 600
60–64 21,700 12,100 5,500 3,500 1,300 700 400 100
65 or
older
16,500 9,900 4,800 2,200 800 600 100 100
Source: Bureau of Justice
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Texas State Prison Statistics (2012):
Total number of inmates: 137,095
Males=128,574 Female=8,521
Age Breakdown:
14 to 16 yrs. 6
17 yrs. 58
18 to 19 yrs. 1,613
20 to 29 yrs. 34,730
30 to 39 yrs. 37,173
40 to 49 yrs. 30,234
50 to 59 yrs. 18,681
60 yrs. and older 6,079
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Lifetime Likelihood of Going
to State or Federal Prison
At the current rate, 1 of every 15
people (6.6%) will serve time in a
prison during their lifetime.
Lifetime chances of a person going to
prison are higher for:
– Men (11.3%) than for women (3.4%)
– Blacks (18.6%) and Hispanics (10%) than
for whites (3.4%)
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10.4 million adults will have experienced
probation, jail, prison, or parole by 2020.
Results: Greater difficulty in finding work because of
felony record.
More likely to have family or emotional
problems.
More single moms raising children.
If all 10.4 million adults with criminal records
were put in one geographic location, they
would be the seventh-largest state in the
United States.
Forty-three states have fewer than 10 million
residents. Bureau of Justice Statistics, Justice Department
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Humble ISD Disciplinary Alternative
Education Program Enrollment (DAEP):
Total: 231
Boys= 176
Girls= 55
*as of March 6th, 2015
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Think, pair, share:
What are the attributes of
a “real man?”
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Where does a boy learn to be
a “man” in today’s world? re
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Activity:
Each group will research what a
“real man” is like
1. Historically
2. In the Media
3. Culturally
4. Today
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What does it mean to be a
real man historically?
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What does it look like to be a
real man in the media?
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What does it look like to be a
real man culturally?
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What does it look like to be a
“real man” today?
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Fathers and Sons
Fathers who are actively
involved with their sons from
infancy are less aggressive, less
overly competitive, and better
able to express feelings of
vulnerability and sadness. Boys
generally were more empathetic. –Boston University (Brody),
Morehead State University (Hardesty),
Santa Clara University
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Effect of Active Fathers
• Father involvement in schools is associated with the
higher likelihood of a student getting mostly A's. This
was true for fathers in biological parent families, for
stepfathers, and for fathers heading single-parent
families.
Source: Nord, Christine Winquist, and Jerry West. Fathers’ and Mothers’ Involvement in Their Children’s Schools by
Family Type and Resident Status. (NCES 2001-032). Washington, D.C.: U.S. Department of Education, National
Center for Education Statistics, 2001.
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Effects of Absent Fathers
• A study revealed that youth who have experienced
divorce, separation, or a nonunion birth have significantly
higher levels of behavioral problems in school than do
youth who have always lived with both biological
parents. In contrast to previous GPA findings, youth
living in stepfamilies or single-parent families are more
susceptible to school-related behavioral problems than
youth who have always lived with both biological
parents.
Source: Tillman, K. H. (2007). Family structure pathways and academic disadvantage among adolescents in stepfamilies. Sociological Inquiry,
77, 383-424.
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Effects of Absent Fathers
• Students living in father-absent homes are twice as likely
to repeat a grade in school; 10% of children living with
both parents have repeated a grade, compared with 20%
of children in stepfather families and 18% in mother-only
families.
Source: Nord, Christine Winquist, and Jerry West. Fathers’ and Mothers’ Involvement in Their Children’s Schools by Family Type and Resident
Status. (NCES 2001-032). Washington, D.C.: U.S. Department of Education, National Center for Education Statistics, 2001.
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Effects of Absent Fathers
• In 2013, 5.8% of married couples are in
poverty. 30.6% of female head of
households are in poverty compared to
15.9% of male head of households.
http://www.census.gov/newsroom/press-releases/2014/cb14-169.html
• In 2013, American poverty rates were 14.5%
(that’s 45 million Americans)
http://www.census.gov/newsroom/press-releases/2014/cb14-169.html
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Fathers and Sons
Fathers who had the poorest self-
control, who lost their tempers, and
who acted out in impulsive ways had
sons who demonstrated significant
difficulties in almost all areas of their
lives. –Case Western Reserve,
D’Angelo Study of 80 Adolescent Boys
Poor grades in school
Poor at resolving conflicts
Difficulty in getting along with peers
Problems with drugs and alcohol
Inept at handling intimate relationships
Tended to be sexually promiscuous
Results
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The more time fathers
stayed close to their boys,
the better the boys did in
high school, college, and in
the workplace.
–Pollack, Real Boys
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Male and Female
Brains have Similarities
and Differences
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Brain Development
2006 Neuroscientist (NIMH) MRI scans 12
year study:
• Regions of the brain develop with
different sequence, tempo, and pace
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Brain Development
2006 Neuroscientist (NIMH) MRI scans 12
year study:
• Girls may be two years ahead of boys in the
development of the parietal gray matter,
which helps integrate all of the senses.
• Boys are ahead of the girls in the
development of the temporal gray matter,
which creates spatial perception and object
recognition.
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Male vs. Female Brain
Boys
Gross motor skills
develop faster. – Examples include
running, walking, lifting,
not sitting still, and
throwing.
Girls
Fine motor skills
develop faster. – Examples include
refined movements of
the hands, fingers,
and thumbs (draw,
write, and button a
shirt).
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What Does It Look Like
in the Classroom?
Struggle to control a pencil or paintbrush
More impulsive
Prefer not to sit for long periods of time
High physical energy
Lack of fine motor skills; lagging behind
as late as fifth grade
Reluctance to do pencil-paper activities
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Boys Excel in Spatial Ability
“Perceptions of the relationships of objects
that determine our understandings of place” (Nabhan & Trimbe, 1994, p. 184)
Can get mental pictures of shape of things,
dimensions, coordinates, proportions,
movement, geography (Pease & Pease, 2000)
Testosterone before birth creates this gap
between males and females, and it
continues into adulthood (Cole, 2007)
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Prefrontal cortex:
Controls tasks such as getting started
on something, sustaining attention,
remembering critical information,
monitoring one’s own actions, and
memory.
Develops over the years; however,
puberty slows down the growth of the
prefrontal cortex.
Making Connections
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Brain
Structure
Boys
Deductive They begin with the general
and apply it to an individual
case.
Example: Literature
viewed as a set of problems to
be solved, not as life
experiences to be savored.
More impulsive
Enjoy the problem solving
More competitive
Inductive They look at examples and
then build generalizations
and theories from them.
Example: Look at literature as
a series of individual
experiences to be understood.
Less impulsive
Tend not to see things as
problems to be solved
More cooperative than
competitive
Girls
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Abstraction and Language Based on the research of Dr. Michael Gurian, The Wonder of Boys
Boys
Reason more abstractly
Better at spatial
relationships; external and
internal space (math and
abstraction)
Girls
Tend to reason in concrete
terms
Better at concrete,
emotive, and sensory
tasks
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Applications to Reading Based on the research of Dr. Michael Gurian, The Wonder of Boys
Boys
Better at symbolic
language, diagrams, and
abstracts rather than
emotive data
Prefer logic and problem
solving rather than long
narrative
Need more help in
reading to be on par with
girls
Girls
Use more words when
they talk
Read and write better
than boys on average
Girls may develop verbal
skills as much as one
year before boys
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Too many words, way
too many words, lots
and lots of words, an
abundance of words
creates a need to reboot
the brain!
Rest State
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Girl’s brain
at rest
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Male Brain:
Specialized rooms; some are difficult to access.
Female Brain:
Feelings are an important part of every room.
Male Brain Female Brain
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Awareness for Success
Allow more physical space (twice body width)
Recognize the visual cortex different in males
Leave space between important wall mounts.
Allow for movement (wiggling, pencil tapping, thumping fingers) in appropriate ways.
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Movement and Spatial Stimulants for Boys
Strategies for success:
Handout and Activity
Find your 12 o’clock partner
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Movement and Spatial Stimulants for Boys
Lunch
Break
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I Dunno. I’m Fine!
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Without an emotional
vocabulary, a boy runs the
risk of getting lost in his own
EMOTIONS.
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Nature vs. Nurture
• Nature (born) – the impact of
physical development
• Nurture (developed) – the impact
of how we are raised
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Male Emotions are stored in the amygdala,
which is located in the medial
temporal lobes. Processing takes
place in the cerebral cortex, located
in the front of the brain.
Emotions must travel a greater distance
for processing.
Female Emotions are stored throughout the brain.
Less distance is required for processing.
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Anger = Default Emotion
for Boys
Cortisol, a stress hormone,
is secreted in the brain.
Water dilutes the cortisol.
Result: calming effect.
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From birth to adolescence, boys are
emotionally reactive.
Verbal expressions improve impulse control.
Post-adolescent boys become emotionally
unresponsive.
They learn to internalize the cultural edict
that men don’t talk about feelings.
The result is that emotional energy
becomes action.
Biology + Social Conditioning
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Anger and
aggression Emotional
vocabulary
Empathy and making emotional connections are
essential to the development of a conscience.
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“Male activity” is often a substitute for
emotional vocabulary.
Disciplinary problems/action
Shame, anger, sadness =
emotional turmoil =
high activity and impulsiveness
Male Behavior in School/Work
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Symptoms of Emotional Pain
Hostility Aggression
Withdrawn Behavior
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Without emotional vocabulary,
boys exhibit:
1. Distractibility
2. Impulsivity
3. Hyperactivity
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Movement and Spatial Stimulants for Boys
What do you notice about the
interaction between the
student and the teacher?
Find your 6 o’clock partner
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Punitive measures = increased aggression
“No matter how concrete your message, if you
rebuke a boy in anger he will focus on your
emotions, not the content of what you say. Wait
to speak until you have more perspective.”
Disciplining Boys
Understand
Coach
Guide
–Pollack, Real Boys workbook
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WHAT
When you cross the street …
HOW
Look both ways twice …
WHY
So you don’t get hit by a car.
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Boys tend to
communicate best
through action rather
than words.
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Where Are the Words?
Film clips:
• Grease: Display friendship with put-downs;
intimacy is clumsy, and deep emotions are
pushed away in front of others.
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Action
Male Language
Some males show they care through
action. Love and empathy may emerge
from a shared game, a joint building
project, a walk around the block.
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Frozen Language that is always the same. For example,
wedding vows, the Pledge of Allegiance, the
Lord’s Prayer.
Formal The standard sentence syntax and word choice
of the business and school community. Word
choice is specific and precise. Explicit language.
Consultative Formal register when used in a conversation. In
English, discourse pattern is not as direct.
Casual Language between friends and is characterized
by a 400- to 800-word vocabulary. Word choice is
general and not specific. Conversation is
dependent upon nonverbal assists. Sentence
syntax often incomplete. Implicit language.
Intimate Language between lovers or twins. Language of
sexual harassment.
Adapted from Martin Joos.
Registers of Language
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The “Boy Code” sets
the stage for a boy’s
pain, anger, and rage.
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“Big boys
do cry, and
if they don’t,
they will cry
with bullets.”
Real Boys by William Pollack, Ph.D. (1999).
Henry Holt and Company.
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Boy Code • The Sturdy Oak
Boys learn that men are not to show weakness
but are to be stoic, stable, and independent.
• Give ’Em Hell
Boys learn that males are supposed to be high
energy, violent superhumans, and that even
their wildest, worst behavior may be excused
because “boys will be boys.”
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Boy Code • The Big Wheel
Boys learn early that they need to work to
attain status, dominance, and power and
that they should avoid any sense of
shame.
• No Sissy Stuff
Boys learn that real men do not show
feelings.
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The extent to which a individual
has access to resources
contributes to the degree and
dimension of his strength or
pain.
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Financial
Emotional
Relationships/Role Models
Knowledge of Hidden Rules
Mental
Spiritual
Physical
Support Systems
Formal Register
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Movement and Spatial Stimulants for Boys
Which of the 9 resources do
you feel are the most
important?
Find your 9 o’clock partner
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Girls are shame-sensitive;
boys are shame-phobic.
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The Deep Emotion of Shame
When you don’t fit in and you are an atypical
male, you feel the emotion of shame.
Support systems are crucial for these boys.
They need relationships and role models to
develop their own definitions of manhood.
They need validation of their self-worth—of
who they are, as they are.
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Four Key Factors Necessary to
Develop Emotional Stability
1. Parental acceptance, especially father’s
2. Religion or spirituality
3. Community acceptance (including school community)
4. Tolerance within the workplace
Young men who aren’t accepted by their parents,
their family of faith, their community, or their
workplace frequently use drugs and alcohol, are
depressed, engage in promiscuity, and are suicidal. (Johnson & Johnson, 2000; Kitts, 2005)
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Shame-Free Zone
“A space where you and your boy are
together in an atmosphere free from
judgments, criticism, and fear.” –Pollack, Real Boys workbook
Shooting basketball
Fishing
Going for a walk
Fixing things
Volunteering in a political campaign
Carpentry projects
Doing-/Action-Centered:
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“What’s wrong? Talk to me!” (allow time and space to process)
Feelings intensify, sense of
shame, retreats further,
becomes angrier. (acknowledge emotions)
Conflict
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Hear: “What I hear you saying is … ” (Watch for the
nonverbals.)
Empathize: “If I were in your situation, I would also be upset.”
“You are obviously upset, and I understand why you are
upset.”
Apologize: “I’m really sorry this happened to you.” “I can’t take
back what has been done, but perhaps I can … ”
Take action: “What I’d like to offer to help you do is … ”
“Would it help if I … ?” “What would you like for me to do to
help you in this situation?”
Take the HEAT
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids
Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
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“I want to be a rock star when I grow up.”
Parents and educators do not have to
validate his dream, but they must
validate his right to dream.
Don’t make
children/students
color inside the lines
of your life.
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Television is a family member.
How media effects our family
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By the time a child is 18, he/she will have spent 22,000
hours watching television—nearly double the amount
of time he/she will spend in a classroom, and more
than any other activity except sleeping.
65% of all households have a TV on while eating
dinner.
The #1 drug prevention strategy is having the entire
family sit for dinner together without any TV or media
devices playing.
The average American household has its TV on for 6.5
hours a day. Average amount of time per week that
parents spend in meaningful conversation with their
children: 3.5 minutes.
d People become family when we frequently invite
them into our lives and the lives of our children.
–Michael Gurian, A Fine Young Man
Copyright 2013 by aha! Process, Inc. All rights reserved. www.ahaprocess.com
21st-Century
Storytelling:
Television and
Video Games
Machines have become
the vessels for most of
the stories our children
hear, absorb, and tell.
Copyright 2013 by aha! Process, Inc. All rights reserved. www.ahaprocess.com
Without knowing the what,
how, and why, the media
define an adolescent’s
perception of reality.
Copyright 2013 by aha! Process, Inc. All rights reserved. www.ahaprocess.com
What Teachers/Administrators Can
Do to Help
Talk with youth and parents about
monitoring television viewing and what
media does to the brain.
– Play sports.
– Be with friends.
– Participate in family activities.
– Age 10: one hour of TV.
– Age 13: two hours of TV.
Copyright 2013 by aha! Process, Inc. All rights reserved. www.ahaprocess.com
What Parents/Students
Can Do to Help
Restrict TV as you would coffee, alcohol, and
tobacco. Addiction is less likely if you grow up with
TV being a controlled substance.
Don’t watch TV during meal time.
Media are nothing to be reverent about.
– Talk about TV at the dinner table; discuss its
absurdities.
– Laugh at stereotypes while talking about TV.
– Ask …
• What are they trying to sell us this time?
• Do we need it?
Copyright 2013 by aha! Process, Inc. All rights reserved. www.ahaprocess.com
What Can You Do?
1. Talk about the Boy Code.
2. Teach others about the problem of the Boy Code.
3. Teach boys about masculinity by teaching them about the men
you admire and why you admire them.
4. When a student hurts, ask him if he would like to talk.
5. Avoid shaming a boy if he refuses to talk with you.
6. Honor a boy’s need for timed silence.
7. When a boy seeks reconnection, try to be there for him.
8. Experiment with connection through action.
Copyright 2013 by aha! Process, Inc. All rights reserved. www.ahaprocess.com
Batter Up!
What Will You Do?
What will I do to help
solve the crisis?