Differentiation and Developing Critical Boundaries in the Family Enterprise
Boundaries in the Family AND the Family Business
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Transcript of Boundaries in the Family AND the Family Business
Boundaries (and Boundary Issues)
in the Family Business
Jane Adams Ph.D
Boundaries are the
building blocks
of all human relationships
They separate us…and attach us.
The Human Dilemma:
How to be both separate & connected
Family Boundaries keep Parents and Children Attached
Until Children Can Separate and Care for Themselves
Boundaries determine how we interact with others.They change according to context, role & relationship.
Aspects of BoundariesFlexibility Permeability Complexity
Open Closed
When Good Boundaries Go Bad…….
The line between us disappears and we lose our individuality….
Or becomes so impenetrable we can’t connect at all.
Every family has a unique boundary style.
enmeshed differentiated
When family boundaries dysfunction…TOO ENMESHED No one feels entitled to
own thoughts,feelingsOne person speaks for
everyoneIndividual privacy
impossibleAmbitions beyond
family disloyal
TOO DIFFERENTIATEDNo unifying hopes,
dreams, values Little sense of
belonging Feelings denied Appearances importantMinimal communication
Every family business reflects the family’s boundary style.
Family RulesThou Shalt Not Speak
Unless Spoken ToThou Shalt Not
Question AuthorityThou Shalt Not
Disparage Us to OthersThou Shalt Not Rock
the Boat.Etcetera, etcetera
Roles
Family
Boundaries in families and businesses determine…How responsibility and
authority are allocatedWhether initiative is
rewarded or restrictedHow achievement is
recognizedWith whom information
is shared
How participation is limited or encouraged
How authentically “themselves” people are allowed to be
How adaptive and responsive they are to inner and outer needs
But the needs of a BUSINESS and a FAMILY aren’t always the same.
In the BUSINESS In the FAMILY
Needs of the family come first
Decisions based on emotional issues
Unity highest priority
Family rules & roles apply
Needs of the business come first
Decisions based on rational facts
Profitability highest priority
Organizational principles apply
The Family Boundary Quiz
\When Family Business Boundaries Are Too Weak…..Childhood roles, expectations, behavior are
perpetuated in the FBFamily baggage overburdens the FBFB becomes sole focus of family attentionFamily needs are routinely neglectedNon-working family members treated like outsidersFounder’s dominating behavior poisons
relationshipsFB used to placate or buy peace among kidsProblems in both family and FB go unaddressed
The conflicting tugs of work and family life affect both….
…and change in one domain threatens the stability of the other.
“Fair” and “Equal” Mean Different Things
in the Family and the Business
Dual and Plural RolesIn Family
ParentChildSiblingIn-lawSpouseCousin
In Business
OwnerManagerEmployeePartnerShareholderBoard Member
Family Past Influences Present Perspective
The Balancing Act Quiz: What Do You Believe?The Balancing Act Quiz: What Do You Believe?
What Do YOU believe?
. Balances individual needs and business needs
. Maintains personal and interpersonal privacy
. Eliminates burdensome family baggage
. Avoids domain “spillover”
. Adjusts to change in either domain
. Meets personal needs for attachment and connection
. Resolves conflicts in appropriate domain
. Promotes growth, stability and success of family business
.The business must be kept intact and handed over to kids.
.Family members are paid equally.
.Children work elsewhere before they enter the business.
.Hiring is strictly according to business, not family needs.
.Business roles are gender and birth-order neutral.
.Best interests of business always take precedence over family’s desires.,In-laws and spouses always consulted in business matters..Oldest generation still has all the power..Long-conflicted siblings work in or have ownership in business..Business advisors are old family friends..Everyone in FB, family or not, earns prevailing market wages and perks for work they perform.
The Elements of Boundary Intelligence
Using Boundary Intelligence to Solve a Problem
Privacy
Domain Spillover
Family Baggage
Balancing work & life
Resolving conflict
Coping with change